Anyone here interested in ways to minimize desire to dress, etc?

[DTelia]

I'm sure that's an interesting question for some of you. I, like many on this board have felt these desires since I was a young child.

And while I wanted to dress or try some things (for me it was hair, long hair), I honestly never really caved or gave in (and I wasn't happy about it, just chicken I guess). Anyway, before I was married, I shared my challenges with my wife-to-be. She didn't have an issue with it, and still doesn't after 16 years of marriage. She actually suggest that we have fun every once in a while, and she's even made me a skirt. But to this date I have never once dressed w/o her, and I really don't dress at all for the most part and if I do, it's only with her. This has been healthy for our marriage and the challenge has brought us closer together.

Anyway, over the course of our marriage, I've learned some things that help me deal with this issue (the temptations, etc), and it's been very helpful in keeping my life in check. If any of you are curious as to how I (we) have done this let me know. The best part about this, is that I don't have the roller coaster ups and downs that I read about here, and I'm able to to recognize who I am without the angst, and my communication and relationship with my spouse is awesome with this realization.

By the way, I'm not claiming a "cure" or silver bullet, & I'm not sure these feelings will ever disappear, but I believe this is a good & reasonable place to be, at least for me

Thanks,

[docrobbysherry]

I think there may be many ways to stop the roller coaster syndrome. For me, it was giving in to the urge to dress whenever it hit me! After dressing nearly every day for about a month rite after I discovered this site, I completely lost the desire for over 3 months!

Since then, I've continued to "cave" to the urges. Which seems to have worked out fine. I need to dress about twice a month now. And, have for nearly 3 years.

Of course, that's EASY for me, as I'm divorced and have my daughter with me part time!

Do u care to mention any of YOUR tips, D?

[DanaR]

By the way, I'm not claiming a "cure" or silver bullet, & I'm not sure these feelings will ever disappear, but I believe this is a good & reasonable place to be, at least for me

Thanks,
It's good that you have found something that works for you. Like Sherry, if I have the feeling I'll cave and dress.

[Jonianne]

You are an interesting CD'er, DTelia. I just had to go and read all of your posts, since you have been here about the same as me. There have been a number of new comers, and some long termers that have really struggled and posted threads about the desire to stop. You must have missed them, because I saw you have never connected with them, unless it was PM.

I'm glad you have found a way to make your marriage work, your intro thread was very informing. I can read that you do struggle a lot with trying to suppress yourself, because you love your wife and I'm sure because of the religious aspect. I don't have an answer, but, owning and admitting your desires (as you do) and (seemingly) not judging yourself on what little opportunities you have given yourself, to express your feminine side is good. I'm glad your wife recognizes that and tries to give some to you in this area.

You are still young, I just began to find full acceptance at your age, so I know what you are going through. Plus I know the fundamental religious aspect as well. My first wife went to Bob Jones U. and I was raised fundamentalist as well. I know trying to share and help others, helps reinforce your own ways you have found to suppress your desires (not necessarlly a bad thing, sacrificing for the ones you love is important). I could very well be reading you wrong, but your other posts indicate you have a very strong cd desire and suppressing so much without a proper about of release could end up being not so good. I don't know, it's a catch 22, dam*ed if you do, dam*ed if you don't. I hope you and your wife have found a proper release balance, but just be aware that what works for you may not work for others, because we are each so unique, within unique situations.