The seesaw goes up and the seesaw goes down.

[patti1569]

I’ve been away for a while. I’m going thru a divorce largely due to my dressing (but not totally). When I first moved out, I was enjoying my new found freedom and the ability to explore myself more deeply. Then the depression set in and the reality of life (failed marriage, not living with my children, the loneliness) began to overwhelm me. I kept going back and forth of whether or not I could stop dressing and try to find a woman to share my life with again. Then I would have feelings like, no, I’ll just immerse myself in the TG lifestyle and forgo a mate. Recently I stopped dressing for a long time. I had no desire to. The fun of it was gone. It seemed more like a chore than a passion. I’ve been dressing since I was 11, and I’ve been through a few purges. I know better than to get rid of any of my things. So, here I am. Not sure where I stand. I am dressing again and it feels great. I’m just not sure when my feelings will shift again. For now, I’m leaning more towards immersing myself, but not giving up on finding someone to share life with. I just know from experience how hard that balance can be. I’d say that the seesaw is more up than down right now so I’m hoping it continues that way. Any advice from those who have been there and done that (I know there are quite a few) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading (if you got this far lol). I just need to vent. Hope to be posting more and reading more about all of you! Xx Patti.

[Kathi Lake]

I find, perhaps oddly, that I seem to dress when I'm happiest. Odd, considering the comfort it brings. You'd think I would dress to pull myself out of a funk or something, but I find that when I'm depressed, dressing up is the last thing I want to do.

I liken it to sailing, I guess. When something has me down, and the 'wind is out of my sails,' I feel, "Why bother dressing?" It won't bring me pleasure. I get that from my life, my family, my church. When the wind is up, and my ship of life is skating across the water, however, I find that dressing can bring me even higher. I just take more pleasure in things when I am happier, I guess. Odd perhaps, but then again, consider the source!

:)

Kathi

[Crissy Kay]

I am sorry to hear about your marriage Patti. I am one of the lucky ones, as my SO is ok with my dressing. I am not sure what advice I can give you, but, I will give it a shot. If you do meet another woman, and you will, I am sure, you should tell her about your dressing before you both get too serious. Also, if she is ok with your dressing, don"t go overboard with dressing around her. I do confine my dressing to weekends, when we are not doing anything anyway. Thats about all I can think of, offhand, good luck Patti, I hope things improve for you this year.

[JamieTG]

Patti I struggle with chronic depression and when I'm having a "down" day I have no desire to dress. I've tried dressing to see if it would cheer me up but it doesn't work that way for me. I have to already be in a good mood to have the desire to dress. Don't make any big decisions right now while you are in emotional turmoil. It may take a while for things to settle down and the depression to let up and then you can have a better idea of your future plans. Good luck.