excting times happening!

[Steph.TS]

tomorrow I talk to a LGBT friendly pastor, on Tuesday I talk to another LGBT friendly pastor, on Wednesday I talk to my current pastor and then immedately afterwards go to therapy (planning to go en femme for the first time, I've never gone anywhere outside my home en femme) Friday the local support group are going to a local trans friendly place to get a handle on doing makeup, and week later I'll attend a meeting by Kevin Alderson a psychologist that is trans friendly and does alot of work locally. January is looking like a very exciting time... :D

Sorry I just wanted to share how exciting it is.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Yes Steph a very exciting time for you!!!! :O)




Julia

[Melody Moore]

Wow, this is really great news Steph, and you don't how much I am smiling after
reading this post. Because I know how tough this has been for you and I think it
is really awesome you are finding a way to go forward and set yourself free. God
has a plan for you here as I also believe that he has with me. The blasphemy in
the church has got to stop because it is just destroying too many lives & families.

And I think once you find the validation you are looking for you are going to be a
very good role model to others who are struggling over the same issues. The truth is
there and when you wipe away all the fog and confusion you will see it very clearly.
:hugs: Xx

[Kelsy]

I'm very happy for you Steph!

Kelsy

[Kimberly Long]

Steph, go for it girl. I wish you the best.
Love Kimberly

[Claire Cook]

I sincerely hope you find the understanding, support and compassion that you need -- too few of us find this starting out.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm so glad that you are finally able to move forward with this Steph! Enjoy the pastor-shopping (is this a new variation on widow shopping? :heehee:)

Sounds like a great idea to go as a group for make-up lessons - you can compare techniques afterwards.

[Steph.TS]

I'm terrified about leaving dressed en femme, I keep asking myself if I get caught, what happens, what happens if I forget any male clothes etc... I don't want anyone at work to find out...

[Melody Moore]

Steph, I know these first steps are scary, but try and be brave, and have faith in who you really are.

If you can get out the door and just enjoy your new found freedom and be happy, when people see
you smiling, they just smile back. If you are happy & confident, then people really have nothing to say,
but if you are nervous & unsettled, then this can give the few hecklers something they can pick at to
get to you. If you just totally ignore what others say then that takes all the power away from them.

I get respect from alpha males because they know they don't have this type of courage &
I know a decorated Vietnam vet respects me for having the courage to be who I truly am.

It takes tremendous amount of bravery to come out, and it is considered one of the most courageous things
that someone can do. Everything I faced up to in life & that I did to make myself feel masculine such as,
learning martial arts; joining the army; parachuting & rappelling face-first down 300ft cliffs; racing & doing
crazy stunts on motorcycles; diving with sharks & engaging in other risky aquatic activities such as white
water rafting, waterskiing; playing with large reptiles has never been as scary as coming out as transsexual.

This is scary bloody business! Just read this girl's story:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-488776/A-year-ago-I-Ian-16-stone-14-inch-biceps-Captain-Paras-Today-Im-Jan-11-stone-size-12.html


As Ian, I had endured bullets, bombs and rockets, caused the death of men in combat
and seen my own soldiers killed. I had been decorated by my country for serving overseas,
endured the toughest selection processes the Army could devise and served in every major
conflict of the past 20 years.

But nothing could have prepared me for the moral courage I've had to call on to make my
transition from Captain Ian Hamilton, 16-stone Paratrooper with 14in biceps, to Jan Hamilton,
an 11-stone, size-12 woman.I can totally relate to this level of fear and finding this type of moral courage. I guess is what
I realised Steph. I sick of living in fear, feeling guilty about who I really was. And just like you
I tried everything to avoid admitting to myself that I was a transsexual and set roadblocks in
my path for a very long time.

So it was time to really "Man up" and come clean about who I really was. I was living a lie and
it was time to set myself free of the guilt and the fear. And guess what? Life really isn't that bad
after all on the other side of the fence. I have found far more acceptance than I could have ever
anticipated, while there were the few expected causalities with family members along the way. But
it's clear that those people don't really love me for who I am anyway & was always the blacksheep.

My life has really changed with a larger social network of friends and support. I really am starting
to live a life where I am being me, instead of being expected to conform to other people's ideals.
So for the first time ever I truly am happy and feel like I have been set free & you can have it too. :)

[Steph.TS]

i did it, my therapist was amazed. wore a black sweaterdress with a fashion belt, shapewear to make my butt look good, a padded bra to give me curves I lack and black pantyhose... it was wonderful...

my pastor as was suspected rejected my argument and thinks if I live the role of a christian man that God will fill my hearts needs. he wants to meet me in person to discuss this further over cofee, but I'm not sure if I should. this time I was just a voice on the phone. anyway I have alot of thinking to do.

[Jorja]

my pastor as was suspected rejected my argument and thinks if I live the role of a christian man that God will fill my hearts needs. he wants to meet me in person to discuss this further over cofee, but I'm not sure if I should. this time I was just a voice on the phone. anyway I have alot of thinking to do.

Well imagine that!

Congratulations on going to see your therapist dressed. He/she now knows it is for real not just a fantasy or talk.

[arbon]

Good job going out, can be scary for a bit but the more you do the less of an issue it is.

What did the LBGT friendly paster that you were going to talk to say? Where they helpful at all?

[Steph.TS]

Good job going out, can be scary for a bit but the more you do the less of an issue it is.

What did the LBGT friendly paster that you were going to talk to say? Where they helpful at all?

wasn't what i was looking for they tried to tell the Bible was just stories, and a man made document.

As I see the Bible as the infallible word of God, I was hoping for scripture verses, but didn't get anything new. met some nice people though.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Happy for you and keep pushing forward...you deserve a huge pat on the back, and a big hug..you have really achieved a lot....

The infallible word of god is subject to mans editing, interpretation and translation...you are simply going to have to give this view some more thought.

[Michelle I]

Steph:

Congratulations on the big step, I had real doubts that you would progress like this. Big hugs

[Melody Moore]

wasn't what i was looking for they tried to tell the Bible was just stories, and a man made document.

As I see the Bible as the infallible word of God, I was hoping for scripture verses, but didn't get anything new. met some nice people though.
The bottom-line is Steph the Bible is a collection of documents written by men with their own ideology
who claim it was inspired by God. But that is the same with the Koran, or any other spiritual document
or book of philosophy. As Kaitlyn points out as well, it is has been interpreted, re-written over & over
again which has distorted the original scripture a lot! If a man was involved in writing the Bible, then
the fact it will be flawed - humans are not perfect, and to believe the Bible is perfect would be wrong.

[Bree-asaurus]

wasn't what i was looking for they tried to tell the Bible was just stories, and a man made document.

As I see the Bible as the infallible word of God, I was hoping for scripture verses, but didn't get anything new. met some nice people though.


The bottom-line is Steph the Bible is a collection of documents written by men with their own ideology
who claim it was inspired by God. But that is the same with the Koran, or any other spiritual document
or book of philosophy. If a man was involved in writing the Bible, then the fact is that it can be flawed.

For such an infallible book, it has an insane amount of contradictions and lies...

Let's say the original book was in fact the infallible word of god... that book doesn't exist today and not a single person alive knows what it said. Every book you look at today is just an interpretation of that original super amazing piece of literature. So while you can believe this, you don't actually have that book to look for answers in. I ask again, since all the translations and interpretations available today, of which none are the original bible, why can't you make your own interpretation?

I guarantee you that if you ask enough people, one person... one priest will say "HELLS YEAH GOD LOVES TRANNIES!" In fact, I can get ordained online for the low-low price of $32.95 and then I can tell you my interpretation and everything will be hunky-dory.

So there, I just saved you a lot of searching. There is at least one other person out there that will tell you what you want to hear.

Now get on with your life and be yourself and stop letting this BS cripple you.

[Steph.TS]

UPDATE: today I saw a psychiatrist to make my diagnosis official, I was but thrilled to be moving forward and terrified I spoke with the woman that runs the local support group, and I went for it, I was thrilled and glad I did all day long then while I was at the make session tonight, I kind of just panic'd in my head part of me just became terrified what I had done getting that on my health record. in a way it felt like I was trapped or doomed but I honestly couldn't figure out where this was coming from. the funny thing is 15 - 30 minutes later I was fine with it again... anyone else experience a roller coaster like that when they first started out?

anyway the evening was great aside from that short panic, the host transformed a trans girl from being pretty to be absolutely beautiful. giving us tips walking us through it, and even open it up for questions. over all this has been a great day.

[Melody Moore]

Wow Steph, I am so happy to be reading this. You really have come a long, long way!

I know how scary this feels, but as time moves forward, everything will fall into place.
It is truly amazing to see you defveloping more and more confidence and getting over
your fears. It is natural to feel unsettled when you are confronting them head on like
this. But keep going because with every passing moment and the more you learn to
relax then things do get a lot easier & a lot better. You might even feel a whole world
of burden being lifted from your shoulders as you come out and set yourself free of the
guilt and shame. This is why I don't believe that God has a problem with transsexuals,
because something this good that brings peace & happiness could not be the work of
anyone or anything else. There wasn't any church that could ever set me this free.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Pls take a moment Steph and consider just how far you have come, and how incredibly courageous you have been to get there...

Kudos to you