Outreach - Interacting with others while out dressed.

[DanaR]

Most of the time when we are out, a lot of us will try to pass or blend into the mix of people. Sometimes if we are not moving around very much, others will notice us more. This is what I’ve seen and might be an indication of how others react to us.

It’s been about 18 years since I first going out as a member of Emerald City in Seattle. The Emerald City group is one of the groups that put on the Esprit Conference in Port Angeles, each year; which is a nice TG conference.

What I noticed while at the Esprit Conference in the mid 1990’s was that during the evenings in the cocktail lounge, we would get a lot of the locals coming down to check us out. What was interesting is they would come down, look, point, laugh and have a good time at our expense. After a couple of years seeing this kind of reaction from them, some of us started reaching out.

We would actually go over to tables and talk to those we saw staring at us. Most of the time we would be asked to join them. What was really cool about us reaching out, was that we were accepted, for the most part by the local community that prior to this had no idea what we were about. We were bombarded by the normal questions, are you gay, are you married, does you wife know and all of the other questions that associated with us; which could be compared to what many would call normal people.

It was a fun and interesting experience. Over the years, I became friends with many people that would come down to visit with me whenever we were at Esprit. There was a local lady that came down in the early years that would come down with some of her friends (female friends) and we would all go out dancing and just have fun. Several years later, she got married and brought her new husband down to meet us, and visit.

I missed a couple of years going to Esprit and one year my wife thought it would nice to take me up to Port Angeles for my birthday. I hadn’t been out in a long time and it was a chance for me to be Dana all weekend. One of the nights we were down in the lounge a local GG and her BF came in. They saw me and came over and joined us for the evening. Both of them are local artists and they invited my wife and I to visit their gallery on our last day there. We had a great time.

What I was curious about, have any others had similar experiences with outreach in the community?

[AllieSF]

I have similar experiences under different settings. My goal from almost day one of crossdressing over 4 years ago was to go out into the real world and be me in female clothes and accessories. I have been going out ever since. One of my drivers/motivators is that being and extroverted and social person, I need the interaction with others to fully appreciate the moment. So, I am always talking with others, mostly complete strangers. I say mostly, because now after going out so much and talking to so many, I tend to run into others who have previously met and talked with me. I may not remember them but they seem to remember me and always with a smile on their faces. I never shy away from anyone and like to engage others in detailed and sometimes even intimate conversations with great success. I believe that this is because, though being a camouflaged male to almost everyone except the really blind and deaf, I do not present as the obvious male, I smile when I am talking with them, I ask a lot of questions with one leading to another and so on, and I have no problem sharing my faults and weaknesses with others, thus by opening myself up to them they feel safe in opening up to me. I surprise myself with the warmth, tolerance and acceptance that these strangers give me, every time I am out. I do believe that the reason is just what you mention about your experiences. By engaging others in conversations and responding to their questions we take the mystery out of what we are doing, even though we really, at least I do not, know why we even do what we do, dress as the opposite gender. I believe that a lot of the negativity that some experience is caused by the others lack of knowledge and actual experience around people like us. Fill a knowledge void with a first hand experience and conversation and we can definitely change and improve other's perceptions of who and what we are.

[Babeba]

I love it how you ladies wouldn't let the event turn you into a spectator sport, and went and made friends and forged links! That's great! :)

[sara.s]

Do you have any experience with teens?

[darci.c]

Wish I still lived in an area where there was a community like that. I too have felt the need to reach out to younger folks to help them understand and accept how they feel if they fall outside of gender norms.

Glad to hear you've found a place to express yourself and make meaningful connections with your community. It does seem that there are still some people out there who don't understand that as human beings there are many things inside us that we simply didn't choose, including what we wear or who we associate with. It's okay that they still don't understand, but the more often it is that people see that it's really no big deal when you see someone dressed differently, or in relationships that don't fit the norm, the better the world is going to be.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Im very public seen all the time meet many 100's of people & have done public speaking, I have joined a good number of groups both women only & mixed some 300 people , im well known so no surprise there, & meeting new people is something i do if you like a P R .

we have some big events so some 1500 to 3,000 people come along some times im dressed in period wear or garb, tho . most times normal wear. bit like my pic. mind you I do Photograhy so that opens doors as well. so yes out &about,

...noeleena...

[Kristy_K]

Since I have been going out dressed I found that people will accept me for being me.

The men tend to avoid me most of the time. Maybe it is because I am not really passable as a female.

Even in a group of strangers I am able to start making friends with the females of the group and then they help me with the males.

I have made more friends when being out dresses as a female then I ever made as a male. I love it.

Kristy

[lauraabdl]

Since I have been going out dressed I found that people will accept me for being me.

The men tend to avoid me most of the time. Maybe it is because I am not really passable as a female.

Even in a group of strangers I am able to start making friends with the females of the group and then they help me with the males.

I have made more friends when being out dresses as a female then I ever made as a male.

I love it.

Kristy
Kristy I couldn't agree more, I have made more friends since going out dressed femme than I have ever made in boy mode.

[DanaR]

Do you have any experience with teens?
No, I don't have any experience with teens.

[kimdl93]

I have been pretty open with people since I started going out in public. I never hesitate to smile and to engage. It seems to be a very good strategy for putting people at ease around me and I hope also dismissing some of the stereotypes that people have about CDrs. I've had some very enjoyable conversations as a result.

[Marleena]

Dana I just started a thread thanking girls like you on the front lines. I salute you all! :)

[DanaR]

Thank you Marleena, I'm not sure about the front lines, but that was nice of you.:hugs: