At a crossroad in my life

[Noel Chimes]

I hope that you will bare with me as I post this It might get a bit long.
I have been dressing for several years and slowly have reached several milestones from just walking around the house to going out for a drive to walking down the street to going to a mall in the daytime to going to a local club. But now i am facing a very difficult decision. I have been chatting with a TG admirer on line for several weeks now, and he has asked me out on a date. The thing is that although I do love presenting myself as a woman and have gone "the full nine yards" I am very neverous about this.
It has been several years since i have been "on a date" with a man and now I am questioning myself as to what direction I want to go. Do I want to continue life as Noelle or is this just a passing phase? I don't want to mislead him into thinking that I will always be "his girl". There are times when I like being me.

[joanna4]

These things can be dangerous. I have gone out but I'm not sure if I would go meet someone.

[Cynthia Anne]

Hey girl friend! That is a decision you must make! Since you ask the question you may not be ready to date again! But then again, although that 'first' date could help you decide if you are ready or not! Just be careful and remember that nothing serious needs to happen on the 'first' date! Hugs!:hugs::love:

[Stephenie S]

Yeah. I agree with Cynthia Ann.

You are not marrying someone here, it's just a date. Enjoy life to the fullest. It's over in the blink of an eye.

S

[Barbra P]

I had a somewhat similar problem recently when my Therapist suggested that I see an Endocrinologist because she thought I should start a low-dose hormone treatment. I’ve fantasized about going on HRT but here it was staring me in the face. I ask a TS friend what she thought while explaining that my wife of forth-plus years would not be on board and I feel guilty already because of the way she feels about crossdressing, at 68 I might be a little old, and I have some medical issues that might prevent me from taking estrogen. She told me that if I have any questions, or doubt, than the answer is a definite NO. If I wasn’t 100% on board and excited to get started, then the answer is a definite NO. There may be a fine line of distinction between questions and doubt but I think you have both. For now I would have to say the answer is NO.

This however has nothing to do with crossdressing, which is a gender identification issue, this has to do with sexual preference, and as such this forum may not be the right place to seek answers. Don’t be surprised if one of the moderators removes this thread.

BTW: the magenta text is almost impossible to read, I ended up copying your text and pasting it in Word so I could read it.

[drag n fly]

Are we talking about a dissonance in your acceptance of your gender? Are you gay/bi? At any rate, what's been said: "it's just a date", may be good advice..Have fun...be careful...smooches Jackie

[EllieOPKS]

If your gut feeling is telling you this is good then do it. I think you can always trust your gut. If you post more in the future, lose the magenta text because its hard to read. Pink is meant to be worn not typed. :)

[DanaR]

I wouldn't do anything until I knew for sure which way was right for me. Going out on a date with this guy might send him messages that you are interested; which you might not be.

[kimdl93]

You need to decide that for yourself. Except for the risk of STDs (from any sexual encounter) nothing that you do is irreversible at this point. If you want to spend more time en femme, or less, its entirely your choice. And your preferences in partners can, and probably should, be arrived independent of your dressing habits.

Personally, I would suggest that you find some other person of interest (male or female)...one who is interested in you as a person and not you as an artifice.

[DonnaT]

Going on a date doesn't commit you to a life presenting as Noelle.

And you should be nervous. Meeting someone in person who you've only met online can be a risky proposition. It can be done safely, however.

You don't give him your address, nor home phone number that can be used to look up your address.

Meet at a place with enough lighting that everyone can see everyone else.

There's no pressure on you, just treat it like meeting one of your friends.

Don't leave your drink unattended, nor accept a drink he's gone off to pick up and bring to the table.

[AllieSF]

I am another "it is just a first date" person. Why not just go out and enjoy the moment? He, even if a gentleman, probably has an idea of having sex with you sometime in the future, and that does not mean he wants to be your long term boyfriend. So, maintain your confidence, go out on a safe date and enjoy the moment. One thing about first dates and the initial early dating phase is that you can have a lot of safe fun and learn a lot about yourself, others and how to act and react in a casual friendly relationship. Since your dating situation is different from a GG dating a male, extra learning is required. So, treat it as a training exercise and see what happens.

[ReineD]

It has been several years since i have been "on a date" with a man and now I am questioning myself as to what direction I want to go. Do I want to continue life as Noelle or is this just a passing phase? I don't want to mislead him into thinking that I will always be "his girl". There are times when I like being me.

He probably just wants sex with a CDer, and so if this is what you want, then all is good. He gets to indulge in his homoerotic fantasies without thinking of himself as engaging in a gay act, and you get to indulge in the fantasy that he believes you are a woman.

Sorry to be so harsh, but you should read all the other threads in this forum about what admirers really want. :p


Edit - OK, that was harsh and I'm sorry. There are exceptions and I won't pretend that I know him or you. There may be a great relationship in store for you if you go out with this guy.

[Presh GG]

My opinion

Like a gg , staying safe should be your # 1 concern.
Would you feel good about your sister/ daughter / female good friend meeting a guy off craigslist?
It's a dangerous world out there.

If you really must go, tell [ or take] a good friend to keep an eye on you the first meeting. We [ ggs ] grew up with these precautions.

Just a thought,
Are there no cd clubs around you ? Or maybe that doesn't interest you.

Presh GG

[joandher]

Acording to your earlier posts you are married ,? What is your wifes view on this ?

Hugs

J-JAY

[docrobbysherry]

Noel, do what the Europeans learn to do early on in life and most Americans of either gender, rarely learn!

That is to say, "No!", and MEAN IT!

[calebsmithxd]

Noel, I would go and meet him in public at a neutral location to see if you even want to actually go on a date with him. If you get good vibes from the initial hello, go forward and have the date.

Make sure someone else knows where you're going and when you'll be back and have them call you if need be.

Good luck and stay safe.

[Noel Chimes]

Thank you for all of your opinions. I do appreciate the frankness from all of you. Also my apoligies to our moderator for having to fix my mistakes. As far as my marriage (Joandher) we parted ways about 8 months ago. However it was NOT because of my dressing. Actually it was one of the things she enjoyed. But that is another post.
It just seems to me that I (Noelle) have wanted more freedom and more opportunities to get out and live life, make friends, and just enjoy life as a woman. I kind of knew going in that there would be some confilicts with things I like to do as a guy. So I work to keep all points in balance. I may just be that i am trying to annalize this way too much. Like it has been said here, "it's just a date- no pressure on me". I WILL use all the steps that have been outlined here to stay safe: 1 taking my own car 2 Letting someone know where I am at all times 3 using check in times 4 meeting in a public place where I am comfortable 5 If the vibes aren't good, bail out.
If and when all this takes place I will let you know how things go. Right now we are both dealing with colds and have put things on hold but we are using this time to get to know more about each other.
Again please keep that advise coming.