How do you know how good you look?

[Laura912]

After many years alone and deeply hidden as Laura, I joined this forum. My spouse has seen Laura three times and not for over 10 years. Yes, the mirror shows her reflection back to me but how do you really find out how good you look? There are those on this forum that are spectacular. How do or did you find out how well you had learned to be "her?"
Laura

[Renee W]

For some reason mirrors and cameras show a different story, so take some pics and critique yourself. Or, post some pics here and ask for advice.

[SherriePall]

I know a good looking woman when I see one! LOL.
Seriously, I take my glasses off and just go. I look better without them because I can't see as good. At my age I'm just happy to be able to get out of bed in the morning. Some days I think I look hot while other days I just don't see it. So long as I see a woman looking back at me I'm happy. I guess that's what it boils down to: if you look like a woman.

[kimdl93]

How good? I don't use the word good. I prefer the term "presentable". In the right light, with a favorable camera angle ....maybe not frightening, but probably not ever "good". But you know, there are lots of women in the world who feel the same way about their appearance. We do the best we can.

[Anne2345]

There are some "spectacular" looking members in this forum, just as there are "spectacular" looking people in the outside world. Unfortunately, I am not one of them. But that's ok, because I feel good about myself, regardless. In this, Anne comes from the inside, and is a large part of who I am. So should the question be how good do you look? Or perhaps how good do you feel as "her?"

[paulinescotlandcd]

I know in my heart of hearts I look semi reasonable but that's about it, but it's nice when people leave comments on photographs I have put up on Flickr. I think if you look long and hard at your own photgraphs you can become quite self critical but in a good way.

[suzy1]

There are some "spectacular" looking members in this forum, just as there are "spectacular" looking people in the outside world. Unfortunately, I am not one of them. But that's ok, because I feel good about myself, regardless. In this, Anne comes from the inside, and is a large part of who I am. So should the question be how good do you look? Or perhaps how good do you feel as "her?"

Following on from Anne’s wise words I sometimes take a photo of myself and reverse it. Or look in a mirror from a mirror if that makes sense? [Not for the faint hearted as you can get a shock, I did!]


SUZY

[Acastina]

Yes, the mirror shows her reflection back to me but how do you really find out how good you look? There are those on this forum that are spectacular. How do or did you find out how well you had learned to be "her?"
Laura
It's hard to be objective looking in the mirror. It can show you whether your hair's on straight or you have a lipstick smear, but the overall look is hard to judge. Photos help, but one can capture that perfect moment and look and get the idea that one looks that good from every angle and in every light. I find video to be very helpful. Just put it on a tripod and let it run while you walk around, look at the camera, look away, up, down, and so forth, even something as mundane as housecleaning or washing dishes. Seeing yourself on the screen moving about and from different angles really helps objectify your judgment. Imagine that she's a CD friend who sent you the tape for comments and critique away, then work on what didn't look so good to you.

[Stephenie S]

Easy answer. You don't. You don't ever know how "good" you look, any more than you can ever tell what others think of you. Your mirror and your camera can give you hints, but that's all. Other people can confirm what you suspect.

But we all are only guessing. That's one of the things that makes it so easy to be a "guy". Guys don't give a hoot what they look like. "OK" is good enough for a guy. OK should be good enough for you too. But in this culture of media overload women are supposed to look fabulous all the time. Women in the movies and on TV wake up with perfect makeup, for goodness sake. And even gorgeous movie stars are insecure about their looks.

Sometimes a trusted friend will help you with your looks. Girls do this for each other as they are growing up. And the "look" most women have is the product of years of trial and error. I know mine is. I have been at this for more than 50 years and I am still insecure.

Relax. Do the best you can. It's all anyone can expect, you know?

Stephie

[Jenny Doolittle]

My neighbor says, "You look Spectacular".... But then again I live next to Mr Magoo.

[Debra Russell]

Last night my wife took my phone to make a call and I caught her looking at my picture I use as my wallpaper on the phone -- she has seen all of them but this one (my avitar) she kept looking at, I ask so... is she pretty? expecting her usual "hummmrf" sound of discontent instead she said "well yeah, but it would help if I diden't know who you were! that was the most of a compliment I have ever gotten from her but I know cameras lie both directions - good or bad, and all we can do is try and present well!--the more you look at yourself the more flawed you become,but the more we learn the better we will look - but to whom that is the question?....................Debra

[Alice B]

I don't think it is as much about how you look as how you feel. If you feel good about yourself and feel comfortable when dressed then you look good. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. Some on this forum are drop dead beautiful and others are not. So what. You have to be who you are and not try to be someone else.

[Kaz]

I don't! Sometimes I think I am presentable... othertimes... who the hell am I kidding? I have some pics that suggest I look good, others that suggest otherwise... in the mirror? Same again.

I have a daughter who spends most of her life (and money) on looking good... she is so lacking in self-confidence and puts out how bad she looks. She is awesome - a real stunner! Does she thinks she looks good? I hope so. She does!

[Cheryl T]

Take pictures...
It's easier to be critical and objective when looking at photos than when reflecting on one's appearance in the mirror.
Remember the old "mirror, mirror, on the wall"? We always have the same answer for ourselves, but photos give you a different perspective.

[Lucy_Bella]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ....All that should matter is, do you feel good and have fun ?

[Jorja]

Oh, that is an easy one. I just ask myself. Jorja, how pretty are you? I am the prettiest bell at the ball of course. Too bad it's the Return of The Living Dead Ball! :(

[ArleneRaquel]

I know that I'm presentable when the mirrors that I pass, while being enfemme, don't shatter.

[Cynthia Anne]

For me since I'm not rich enough yet to afford a camera I let the world decide! If I'm out all day and I'm still being ma-am when the clock strikes thriteen, I figure I did o-k! Hugs!

[Vanessa Storrs]

Mirrors lie, cameras lie. Being as objective as I can, I think I look better as a woman than as a man. Maybe it's the smile.

[Karren H]

I just assume I look like crap.... Low expectations!! So I'm never disappointed! Lol.

[Jenniferathome]

How do you know the same, in male mode? Time and practice, I should think. Still, I Hinkofer you might be referring to passability. On that front, it's impossible to be objective. You need someone to critique.

[Diana Bain]

Nobodies turned into stone yet when looking at me...thats gota be good:D

[docrobbysherry]

Laura, why r u asking us? It's YOUR mirror and YOUR camera! And, if u don't go out dressed, it's only YOUR opinion that counts! Rite?

That's one of the things I LOVE about being a closet dresser! I KNOW I'm stunning, hot, young, beautiful, and fabulous! Don't believe me? Just ASK ME!

[Kelly DeWinter]

I just assume I look like crap.... Low expectations!! So I'm never disappointed! Lol.


I have to agree with Kareren, I keep my expectations low, It's easier to meet low expectations, LOL. serously, you have to be happy with yourself as you are.

[Suzy Parker]

How do you know how good you look? I don't think I do outwardly........it's how I feel inside that counts!

[Jodi]

The mirror and the camera can only tell you so much. I go by the opinions of my gg friends that I go out with. They are the ones that are critical of my presentation. I respect their opinions.

They are the ones that tell me I look good and presentable.

[Patsy]

I videoed a little a roleplay on my computer's camcorder. It's the nearest I could get to seeing myself as others might see me. Not for the faint-hearted. Sob. Now where's that box of chocolates.

[Badtranny]

How do or did you find out how well you had learned to be "her?"

Oh Laura, please don't judge us by our avatars. Some people look good in pics and I sure as heck wouldn't post one that didn't look good due to a magic angle or just right lighting.
You can't really tell much from a pic other than how photogenic someone may be.

The mirror is bunk though. Every mirror in my house has a credibility problem because of the constant fibbing they all do.

The best way to get a good idea of what you look like are candid shots that others take while you are not prepared. Those really show your presentation for what it is. Wig, Posture, smile, it's exactly what everyone else sees.

[Andy66]

A few thoughts, Miss Laura:

Looking good is so subjective. During my life (so far) I've been both very skinny and very fat. The interesting thing I learned is, no matter what I looked like, there were always some people who liked how I looked and some who did not.

When I look back at old pictures of myself, I am surprised that I looked so much better than I thought I did, and I wonder why I could not appreciate it at the time.

Aaaand... have you ever seen people who look so odd and tacky, you wonder about their sanity? Yet they have the nerve to look quite pleased with themselves? :eek:

So no, I don't think you can really quantify how good you look. All you can do is try to make yourself happy.

[linda allen]

After many years alone and deeply hidden as Laura, I joined this forum. My spouse has seen Laura three times and not for over 10 years. Yes, the mirror shows her reflection back to me but how do you really find out how good you look? There are those on this forum that are spectacular. How do or did you find out how well you had learned to be "her?"
Laura
OK, Why has your spouse only seen Laura three times and not for over ten years?

She (your spouse) can look at you and tell you how good (or bad) you look and how you could look better. She can give you hair and makeup advice and fashion advice. Hopefully, she will be honest and not hurtfull.

You can post photos here, but some folks will not be totally honest, not wanting to hurt your feelings so it's not really a good test.

You can photograph yourself and that helps some. Better would be video but that's really hard to do yourself. Can you get your wife or a friend to video you walking in public?

[Jlake2121]

I know I look good when I look in the mirror and like what I see. I don't all the time but I give it my best shot and I take a picture. Shutter speed, aperture, the position of the light and dr. photo shop do the rest. What others think really does help confirm what I think but ultimately, I have to be able to believe what they say or I am not happy.

[Laura912]

Have read all this and am thankful for the support and suggestions. Someday you may have the opportunity to be the judges.
Laura

[JaytoJillian]

I just assume I look like crap.... Low expectations!! So I'm never disappointed! Lol.

LoL, ditto on what Karren said!!!

[Beverley Sims]

Don't ever be satisfied with how good you look as you will drop your guard.
Be confident and positive and step out with a straight back and chest? out.
I find that a video taken by someone else helps me practice my shortcomings.
Much better than a mirror or photos.
You can correct your walk and posture much better, like footballers and sportsmen analyze themselves.
Yep like Karen, I always look crap.
At least Jenny Doolittle has a confidence booster in Mr. Magoo

[Mark/Rebecca]

I met a girl that said she was passable. It was kind of a roleplay thing, she being the wife and I the husband meeting for lunch.
We had a nice meal which I was a gentleman and paid for. She wore all mismatched pieces from goodwill. I should have said we are going to Dress Barn, and forced style upon her. Instead I wanted her to feel special and told her she was pretty. She was elated. I now think that I did the wrong thing and shouldve given her my real opinion. (It was just lunch. I am married and still feel a little underhanded about it, but I want to help girls feel comfortable in public and be a positive part of our community.