A bridge too far

[Nigella]

I suppose this is aimed at those who are out to their SO and live the majority of time as their fem self.

As most of you may know I am transsexual, slowly going through the process of changing everything from male to female.

Whilst researching the process early on I looked at going for a Gender Recognition Certificate. This is the piece of paper, within the UK, which allows an official change of birth gender on the birth certificate.

For some it is the ulitmate aim, to be officially recognised as a female. For me it was that bridge too far.

Why you may ask, well the process calls for a marriage to be annulled or a divorce to take place as UK law does not, yet at least, recognise same sex marriage.

I am not prepared to accept that all the time I have been married to Sandra to mean nothing, after all it's only a bit of paper which I don't need to know I am female.

Whats your bridge too far?

[kimdl93]

very interesting post. I guess it would be similar for me. While I'm not contemplating a full transition, I am spending the vast majority of my time en femme. At this point (noting that all is subject to change), I cannot foresee doing anything that would require me to give up our legal marital status.

[Zenith]

Operation Market Garden? The airborne assualt of Arnheim? And the loooong movie? Very male reference...but your question. There is no Bridge Too Far for me. Nothing less than full transition will do, and I am so happy to be nearly there...

[Aprilrain]

guess i'll have to cross that bridge when i get to it.

[AllieSF]

I don't yet see "T" related bridges in my future. However, as with most things, I think that law will change over time. I would guess that the UK has some type of common law marriage laws that give a spouse most and maybe even all the rights of a legal spouse. So, unless there is a big exception to those rights as they may affect both of you, it may just become an issue of a piece of paper and what it really means to someone.

[Julia_in_Pa]

My "bridge too far"" was to kill myself with the gun I purchased to do exactly that if I failed to transition.


Julia

[Kelsy]

My wife has indicated that although she loves me there is no garauntee that she will continue to live with me. She is decidely
hetrosexual but vows to be my best friend for life!!I am moving forward to complete my transition. If of course she decided to stay with me same sex marriages are fine in Massachusetts. Divorces here are a living hell by the way!!!

Kelsy

[Rianna Humble]

Whilst researching the process early on I looked at going for a Gender Recognition Certificate. This is the piece of paper, within the UK, which allows an official change of birth gender on the birth certificate.

For some it is the ulitmate aim, to be officially recognised as a female. For me it was that bridge too far.

Why you may ask, well the process calls for a marriage to be annulled or a divorce to take place as UK law does not, yet at least, recognise same sex marriage.

I am not prepared to accept that all the time I have been married to Sandra to mean nothing, after all it's only a bit of paper which I don't need to know I am female.

Whilst I agree that the UK law on marriage and civil partnership needs to be amended, I don't think that swapping one for the other to comply with current legislation is declaring that your marriage meant nothing.

Without the change of piece of paper relating to your marital status leading to the other piece of paper, you could end up thrown in a men's prison if someone decides you are a threat to national security. It is entirely up to you to weigh the possibility of that sort of negative outcome against the transformation of your marriage into a civil partnership.

Of course, the best outcome would be for the UK parliament to change the law for the benefit of the whole population rather than caving once again to a special interest group who wants to define marriage in a very restrictive way.

[Hope]

My bridge too far?

Living another day as a man.

What you call your relationship is irrelevant, (aside from the legal aspects of course), partner, best-friend, lover, wife, master/slave. The fact that the name for the relationship changes, does not mean that the relationship itself changes. AND even if it DID change the nature of the relationship itself - that would not imply that the previous relationship was somehow meaningless. Years of joy and sorrow and a constructed life together are never meaningless - regardless of how a legal status dissolves.

But then my partner (of 15 years) and I are very happy to be on the cover of our local LGBT magazine this month... My partner who also happens to be my wife of 13 years... Don't get hung up on labels. Do what is right for you.

[kellycan27]

My wife has indicated that although she loves me there is no garauntee that she will continue to live with me. She is decidely
hetrosexual but vows to be my best friend for life!!I am moving forward to complete my transition. If of course she decided to stay with me same sex marriages are fine in Massachusetts. Divorces here are a living hell by the way!!!

Kelsy

Even if you fully transition you're marriage would still be valid anywhere. The state will still recognize your marriage as that of a man and a woman. What you do to yourself afterward is no concern of theirs. Should you divorce and remarry.. in a state that does not recognize same sex marriage... you might have an issue.