Sometimes the negativity towards TS/TG/CD really gets to me!

[Marleena]

As I read through this board all the pain from the members and SO's gets to me, I needed to vent. I see the haters in the news, I see it on TV, I see it on the streets. I see so many others struggling with all of this. There are more of us still hiding out there somewhere. I mean hell none of us ordered this at birth.

So the hiding, fear, rejection and struggling goes on. We are just human beings. Would our mothers reject us at birth if they knew we wouldn't fit societies norms? That's all it boils down to really. We have ten fingers and ten toes. We are people like everybody else.

Just ugh....Damn!



I wish people were more like my dog! She loves me no matter how I'm dressed or how I look.

[whowhatwhen]

All I do is hope some harm comes to those who wish ill on people who are different.
Except when it's family, then it becomes fear and repression.

It's terrible having to view everyone as a potential abuser and feeling uncomfortable over the simplest of things.

[NathalieX66]

Still battling with it.
Having TG friends is nice.....not enough, though.
I want to be normal & accepted no matter what form I' m in.

[Lisia]

I don't even know where to begin except to say that I do feel your pain, and I especially agree with what you said about your dog. :) I am lucky in that my SO's only surprise when I came out to her was that I waited so long to share with her. We now enjoy and share so much, though I do feel that same old fear when thinking about stepping out the door, even though she tells me I worry too much about what others think/perceive.

[Cynthia Anne]

Yeah, I hear ya! Almost everything I read this early morning has been sad! This is Cynthia Anne signing off til the sun shines and brightens thing up a bit! Hugs!

[jillleanne]

Unfortunately people seem to prefer to read bad news before good news. It seems to be what sells doesn't it? I like to believe here however, good news overcomes bad news. You are quite right however. maybe we should have HAL( the computer) run the world. It's free of any vices.

[Foxglove]

Hello, Marleena. I know what you're saying. A lot of times when I think about things like this, I'm totally baffled. Why should people hate us so much?

You try to be objective about yourself, you know. When I look in my own heart, I know I have my failings. Some of them more serious than others, some I really should have sorted out a long time ago. But I also know that I'm no worse than your average Joe or Jill. So the idea that someone should be seriously against me because of one little aspect of my psychology that doesn't harm anybody and isn't my fault anyway is hard for me to understand.

I've long thought that certain people like to attack others because it spares them the need to attack themselves. They look at others' failings so that they don't have to look at their own. I think that's where a lot of the hostility towards the TG community comes from. Insecurity among cisgender people.

[Launa]

Unfortunatley people will judge us because we are out there and an easy target for them to see. It can be like being overweight, you can also be a target. I have seen many times when someone fat walks by people will comment and can be loud about it. I have seen people holler out to a fat person hey buddy have another donut. A lot of those people have their vices too but we just can't see them. If someone drinks way too much, we can't see that because the person is not wearing an alcholic look. If it was real obvious people might holler out have another drink buddy or a smoke you fricken ugly stinky smoker you're such a burden on the medical system. You get the idea we just can't see it the same way.

[Marleena]

Thanks everybody! This post isn't really about me so much. I have it pretty good with an accepting wife.

I just hate seeing other people struggling with this so much because they are TG through no fault of their own. Maybe I just care too much.

[Piora]

I am constantly dismayed at the negativity towards all people who don't "fit the mold" that society has chosen to be "acceptable". Crossdressers, transsexuals, transgendered are part of that, certainly. Marleena, it surely affects those of us who want to go out dressed, such as yourself, much more than I - who prefers to be closeted. No one wants to think about problems that could arise from being "made" while out dressed - but it can be disconcerting. I am like you - I sometimes think I care too much, also. But it shows that you are miles above all of those unaccepting people out there, because you do care.

[Rachel Morley]

Ah yes, ... if only everyone could be like your dog or our pets in general. They can tell if we are "nice people" or not and how we present ourselves is irrelevant. I do get what your saying, it's such a bummer that we live in this bi-gendered world. The moment anyone does something that is considered "from the other side of the tracks" we're labeled weird (or worse). :(

[Dawn cd]

I'm sure there's a lot of prejudice against T-folks, and a lot of pain felt. But I think we have to be careful about using polarizing language ourselves. Most prejudice is built on ignorance and fear and never graduates to hate. To call other people "haters" is a form of labeling that isolates them and ourselves.

[Acastina]

Hello, Marleena. I know what you're saying. A lot of times when I think about things like this, I'm totally baffled. Why should people hate us so much?

I've long thought that certain people like to attack others because it spares them the need to attack themselves. They look at others' failings so that they don't have to look at their own. I think that's where a lot of the hostility towards the TG community comes from. Insecurity among cisgender people.

Exactly. Hostility tends to be most virulent and overt among people of lower education and socioeconomic levels. Bullies are always insecure; that's why they act out by abusing others, so they can feel better about themselves by persuading themselves that they are superior to SOMEONE.

The depth of this hatred stem, I think, from the utter primacy of sex and gender in human life. The very first thing said about a newborn is whether it's a boy or a girl. Folks like us kind of mess with the binary that almost everyone takes for granted as chiseled in stone for one's entire mortal existence.

Oh, and BTW, I learned a new word today: cisgender. Thanks.

[Foxglove]

Exactly. Hostility tends to be most virulent and overt among people of lower education and socioeconomic levels. Bullies are always insecure; that's why they act out by abusing others, so they can feel better about themselves by persuading themselves that they are superior to SOMEONE.

The depth of this hatred stem, I think, from the utter primacy of sex and gender in human life. The very first thing said about a newborn is whether it's a boy or a girl. Folks like us kind of mess with the binary that almost everyone takes for granted as chiseled in stone for one's entire mortal existence.

Oh, and BTW, I learned a new word today: cisgender. Thanks.

Hello, Acastina! I've always thought people's insecurity goes way back, to prehistoric times. Life is basically insecure. Even today, when we're more or less civilized and for some us food and shelter are more or less guaranteed, we're never completely secure. All sorts of bad things can happen. Think, for example, how World War II utterly shattered the lives of so many people. We're never really guaranteed anything.

I've always noted how banks and insurance companies promise us that if we deal with them, our futures will be secure. Whistling past the graveyard. We're never really secure, and at the end of it all we die.

I think fear and insecurity are very deeply rooted in us. The herd instinct can give us some feeling of security, and that's why we lash out at anyone who's different from the herd. Whether they're of a different color, religion, language, gender, physical build, whatever, if they're different, we're automatically suspicious of them. But I would agree that gender is something very basic in us, and so it comes in for special attention.

Oh, and by the way, I myself learned the word "cisgender" on this forum. But I don't know who to give the credit to.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[docrobbysherry]

Thanks everybody! This post isn't really about me so much. I have it pretty good with an accepting wife.

I just hate seeing other people struggling with this so much because they are TG through no fault of their own. Maybe I just care too much.
Thank u for adding that, Marleena! I was going say, for many of us, we should look on the brite side of dressing! Most of us have our health. Our families and friends. Gainful employment. And, we r fotunate to live in a country where u can strive to, and often reach, nearly ANY level of accomplishment and satisfaction we desire! For me, dressing is MOSTLY just plain fun!

However, as u mention, MANY OTHERS here suffer mightily at the hands of THE HATERS that r out there. Seemingly everywhere, at times! It makes me so sad to think of how deplorable, stupid, and unnecessary that is!

I HATE HATE!

[KellyJameson]

It is easier to show hate than love because hate creates the illusion of strength and feeds the need for revenge and the idea of love by those filled with hate is of weakness born from the effects of rejection, a beggar looking for hand outs.

Hate is an expression of being alone even when surrounded by people, it is the experience of not being a part of life, of not wanted by life, not valued, worthless,excluded, of being LESS than human

Hate is created by devaluing life and is an expression of soulessness, the walking dead. Those who are not able to live in a state of hate and seek escape choose life, their hearts begin to beat again.

I feel for the victims of hate but I feel pity for the perpetrators of hate because the victims still have a chance at life but the farther one walks down the path of hate and gives into its impulses the greater the likelihood of never finding ones way back to the innocence of the childs heart they were born with.

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength." Ralph Sockman

Love you Marleena for being you.

[Ashley S]

I wish people were more like my dog! She loves me no matter how I'm dressed or how I look.

I can't count how many times I've thought exactly the same thing.

I'm one of those that the negativity/ignorance/intolerance really gets to, and I'm still mostly in the closet, not even out in the thick of it. The state of the world in general right now is incredibly frustrating and depressing to me. This is the twenty-first century, the alleged "Information Age", and yet, even with the collective knowledge of an entire civilization, and all of recorded history at our fingertips, ignorance and intolerance are still rampant.

To me it seems like the average person is very resistant to absorbing and integrating new information, and will go to great lengths to ignore new info presented to them. In fairness though, my average may be a little skewed by the impressively high number of hypocrites, bigots and xenophobes that I've encountered through my life.

Sorry to be a downer, I have a horrible worldview. I frequently feel like all of us here are the sane ones, and it's the lunatics that are running the asylum.

[ArleneRaquel]

Dogs love unconditionally, some humans, alas, seem to live on hate.