How do i control crossdressing urges

[Joan21]

I really love to dress but under the circumstances can't only once in a awhile. I went from dressing 3-4 times a week all day to none because of new job and now getting really stressed and upset that I can't do it. I don't no what todo about it. I don't no why I am it used to be just fun to do whenever I felt like it now that's all I want everyday an don't no why. Anyone know anything about this just seems strange that it never bothered me. Used to be that a bra an panties was fine now I have to be completely done totally fem.

[Samantha_Smile]

Its the nature of the beast luv.
Its about having balance in your life, to be able to partion time to dress.
I sometimes have to make do with 4 hours fully dressed. Other times I can get 6 or 8 hours in.
I would love to try more, but you take what you can get with this.

Most of us start off being happy in underwear, then underwear and clothes, then adding jewelery, then a wig, then makeup, then shoes, perfume, nails, forms, corsets and shapewear....

Its not just you, and it's not about controling them... more like managing them. Allocate time to dress, even if you dont feel like doing it on the day, just get it done and you'll feel better when youre all prettied up.

If theres a home issue like uninformed wife or children, then maybe its time to tell your wife what youre doing and get the kids off to grandparents or friends houses for sleepovers.

You'll figure it out, nobody can tell you how to do it, much like the spectrum of gender, theres a spectrum of associated issues that everyone manages differently.

[stacycoral]

Its the nature of the beast luv.

....

Its not just you, and it's not about controling them... more like managing them. Allocate time to dress, even if you dont feel like doing it on the day, just get it done and you'll feel better when youre all prettied up.

If theres a home issue like uninformed wife or children, then maybe its time to tell your wife what youre doing and get the kids off to grandparents or friends houses for sleepovers.

You'll figure it out, nobody can tell you how to do it, much like the spectrum of gender, theres a spectrum of associated issues that everyone manages differently.

Smile has told you the truth, i know it is very hard when your at home dressing all the time and start a new job, there is goes, i am looking at the same thing, but i try to keep sometime maybe a night that i am able to dress, The pink fog will let you have the time, just look for it, it will come for you,

[suzy1]

You are a crossdresser Joan. An affliction without any cure, condemned to a life of C.D.ing.
So join the club!

Fight it or give in and enjoy it, I do. :dance:


SUZY

[Allisa]

I think we are all curious about how we look totally feminine and want to explore that aspect of our being.It's a growing process,just remember your not alone in your quest to express yourself,every journey starts with the first step.Bye-Bye,Lisa.

[rachaelsloane]

Like Smile said, you can't control them, so just enjoy every moment you can.

[Launa]

I'm going through the same fellings you are right now, dressing around the house is ok but I want to go all the way when I dress and go out the front door. You need to figure out where you want to be and how you will get there. It can take some time but you need a "strategy". Ask yourself is what I'm doing right now going to help me reach that destination or will it cause confusion for myself and others close to me.Once you reach your destination you won't have to control as many urges. IMHO

[Maria 60]

OMG i just finished writing a thread on almost the same thing. I am really not alone. I know the feeling, i want to dress NOW! not tomorrow not next week NOW! But we can't because we choose to be in the closet. It really is frustrating and when you think the kids are going out and you can't wait and then they tell you there's been a change of plans you want to kill someone. I am tired of asking the kid when there working or if there going out. I feel for you and i know what your going through and i guess it's in our best interest to remain calm. Sorry for venting on your thread.

[Piora]

You are a crossdresser Joan. An affliction without any cure, condemned to a life of C.D.ing.
So join the club!

Fight it or give in and enjoy it, I do. :dance: SUZY

Suzy's right. Although I would substitute the word "blessed" for "condemned". Karren may disagree with me on that, I think. :)

[NathalieX66]

Joan, trying to control your urges is a slippery slope.
Let's face it: You like what you like, and that fact is never going to go away.
I gave up crossdressing for ten years, and tried to suppress the feelings as much as I could, to no avail. Then I came to the conclusion that this is what I really am, and I accepted it, and got off the guilt and shame train, never looked back. I feel happy & balanced.


Balance is the key word.

I can understand work related issues. I recently got promoted to a nice juicy corporate job title with all the perks, I work daily with the president, and the vice presidents, as my job is one notch down from a corporate VP, a job I don't want. The environment in my place is a bit conservative, and also a bit jock-oriented. The conversations in my workplace often revolve around golf, and the New York Giants. The fact that even though I am single and hetero, I am morphing into what obviously looks like a transwoman, with the new long hair, the pierced ears, the missing stubble. 25 lbs lighter than I was 2 years ago. So far my co-workers, and president seem to accept me, otherwise I don't know how the heck I got promoted.
For me, it's not a matter of how far can I take this......it's a matter of finding the balance of what is me. I finally reckoned with my situation. As a rule, I keep my trans life separate from my career. In my personal life, I am who I want to be. For me, it's more about gender than fetish, though I have my fetishes.

[Diana Bain]

"How do i control crossdressing urges?"...Joan, I don't think we can...this is the way we are wired...it's always been this way and always will be.

[DeeInGeorgia]

You need to join "Gender Conformers Anonymous" and realize you have an illness of trying to conform to a belief your gender expression must match your sex.

You must give up to a higher power and wear those girly clothes.

[ArleneRaquel]

Controlling crossdressing urges can be more damaging to one phyiscal & mental health and just doingit. Just MHO.

[Ressie]

Joan, I can feel where you're coming from. It becomes a very strong addiction with withdrawal symptoms included. All you can do is force yourself to think about other things you enjoy. It all starts with your thoughts.

[Veronica Lodge]

Getting stressed & upset about not dressing can have some real damaging effects. I can sympathize with you.
I have been sent through work on 4 month contracts, isolated from everyone with about 45 other men. Needless to say that dressing was just not an option.

If there's no possible way you can dress, you'll have to try and eliminate the stress. I suggest looking into exercise & diet. Work on both and they'll help rid you of that stress.

There has also been threads on here about situations like yours where people keep little momentos with them. Just little reminders like pictures or jewelry that help them get through the rough patch of being unable to indulge.

[Jenniferathome]

The bestbwaynto "control" your urges is to dress occasionally. Take a drive somewhere on your day off. Go out girly and you'll feel better

[Cheryl T]

You don't "control" the urges any more than you can train a cat.

[Joan21]

thanks for all your helpfull suggestions

[Alice Torn]

There are times of transition, such as having to move in with other people, or family, or being in the military. Sometimes, we just are forced to go without things we crave. Dee gave good advice! Have other interests also. This compulsion can totally take over our lives destructively, like any other addictive thing.

[Krista1985]

I know what you mean,

Starts small (bra + panties) and you add to it and add to it, make-up, wig, forms, outerwear and shape wear. Soon it's the whole she-bang. That's the easy, dare I say fun, part of being what we are. That's how it happened to me at least. I added one thing, then another and soon they were all essentials that I couldn't do without. We feed the beast, and in return it wants more.

But when circumstances dictate backing it off a bit, the old stand-by's just aren't enough anymore. That's the hard part of being a crossdresser I guess. You know what 'going all the way' feels like, and there is no going back to only bra + panties with the knowledge of what you're missing. Do what you can when you can, and find the time to go whole hog as often as you are able. Don't let the urge build up too much or you may find yourself taking risks that put you in danger. You gotta manage that urge the best you can, according to the wise ladies here it'll be with us always.

[joanncd]

We are not able to control this urge. If we try we only cause ourselves distress.
Always wear panties! They help enormously.

[Kate Simmons]

The only way to "control" it is to make it a conscious choice instead of letting it remain a compulsion. To do that you need to get in touch with yourself and your feelings and accept your whole self and not be ashamed or afraid of your feelings. Once that happens you control the reins of the process.:)