CDs would you ever be intimate with a man and be his girlfriend?

[seanmuscle]

I was wondering if there are any CDs who would have a normal relationship with a straight male. Not just sexual but actually have romantic feelings too. Perhaps even start a family together by adopting too

[Lucy Furr]

I've always considered myself as heterosexual. Although I have had fantasies involving sex with a man, but with a woman involved as well. Men are just not attractive to me, other than the above fantasies. I guess that makes me bi. In the fantasies I am always dressed as a female and behave as such (i.e. recieving only). Most people don't like to admit it but physical attraction plays a big part in any intimate relationship. Just my opinion, of course.

[Amymonroe]

I can speak for my-self that if I were not married I might fit in your scenario, however I think I would have actually gone through and become TG.

now that was funny! lol scarlet rose

[stacycoral]

You'd have to be a gay Cd to consider that and I think they are even more rare than straight Cds. But in answer to your question no. What's the difference between a gay CD and a CD? A bottle of vodka. Or is it two years. I forget now.
:)

I don't think i would, i love being a woman with my SO,

[suzy1]

You'd have to be a gay Cd to consider that and I think they are even more rare than straight Cds. But in answer to your question no. What's the difference between a gay CD and a CD? A bottle of vodka. Or is it two years. I forget now.
:)

Two bottles of vodka. The second one to hit me over the head so I was unconscious.

The thought of it is yuk yuk yuk!

[Miranda-E]

I was wondering if there are any CDs who would have a normal relationship with a straight male. Not just sexual but actually have romantic feelings too. Perhaps even start a family together by adopting too

I married a man, have a stepson.

be ready for pages and pages of "I'm 100% straight" declarations.

[Laura912]

The answers are all along the spectrum of CDs and range from no way to some of the ones above...married with kids. I try not to judge those that do not have the same tastes (not that I am saying you are being judgemental).
Laura

[paulaprimo]

i thought i was confused before i joined this forum...is what you ask even possible??? i'm seeing a man now, so how is he straight if he's with a cd??? can i get a shot of that vodka??? please!!

[cinderellaman]

I've always considered myself as heterosexual. Although I have had fantasies involving sex with a man, but with a woman involved as well. Men are just not attractive to me, other than the above fantasies. I guess that makes me bi. In the fantasies I am always dressed as a female and behave as such (i.e. recieving only). Most people don't like to admit it but physical attraction plays a big part in any intimate relationship. Just my opinion, of course.


I have this exact same fantasy, except I would like to give and receive.

[BRANDYJ]

If a man is interested in being with a CD, he is not straight. He has to be either gay or bi. So as your question was presented, it is impossible to answer since both the CD and the man involved has to both be gay or bisexual. For me... I second the yuk,yuk, yuk of Suzy1 above.

[Regan]

That has been my fantasy since I started dressing. I would like to be in a true relationship and be his GF or wife. This is part of the struggle I am having, I love my wife but I wonder if I would be happier as a full time CD and have a boy friend. Thank god I found this site it is truely helping me try to figure out sooo much. I do not want to adopt at this time of my life. I

[Kelli Ca]

no. I love women and I love my wife

[Dana7]

The research I have read, and quoted previously on this forum, indicates that the percentage occurrence of being gay among crossdressers is about the same as in the general population. Which is to say that CDers are overwhelmingly heterosexual according to available research.

[Launa]

No I would never want to be with another male.

[Badtranny]

Anybody who thinks a gay CD is something other than a man needs to drink a tall glass of reality check. CDs are MEN. Any man that is interested in another man, regardless of what he is wearing is gay. Homosexual. A friend of Dorothy.

I know that some CD's like to pretend they are women but let's be clear, they have men's bodies. They have working penises. They smell like men. They have sex like men. Cross Dressers are MEN by definition.

I was very fortunate in the genetic lottery, and after being on HRT for 17 months I am lucky to be very feminine looking and I don't even smell like a man anymore, but I am STLL a man. I am a transitioning TS girl who will someday be a legal woman but until then I am not, regardless of how I feel inside. My body is reality and two years of transition is not enough to overcome my birth handicap. It might be for some but not for me because I still look like a dude. I am light years beyond the average CD'r in regard to feminine presentation but let's just say any man that hears my "secret" isn't exactly gonna be shocked.

There are indeed men who prefer "femmy" even cross dressing men, but there is no fantasy, they know they're with men. They like it that way, and there's nothing wrong with it but let's not pretend we're something other than we're not. It just makes us look silly.

[Momarie]

That has been my fantasy since I started dressing. I would like to be in a true relationship and be his GF or wife. This is part of the struggle I am having, I love my wife but I wonder if I would be happier as a full time CD and have a boy friend. Thank god I found this site it is truly helping me try to figure out sooo much. I do not want to adopt at this time of my life. I

Does your wife know of your "true" desires?

Or are you just more comfortable with her being your cover?

[reneecd13]

For me When I am all dressed up I am a women. I first I never thought of being with a man. As time went on I started to have feelings for a man. We dated and went out al lot. For him I was a women, not a man all dressed up. I know everybody has their own opinion. It is what you feel inside.

[Regan]

Momarie,

My wife doe not know anything, but since I joined this site I have started to feel like I might be able to let her know at some time.

reneecd

Thanks I totally agree with you.

[DanaR]

CDs would you ever be intimate with a man and be his girlfriend?



That would be a big NO!

[NCAmazon]

Anybody who thinks a gay CD is something other than a man needs to drink a tall glass of reality check. CDs are MEN. Any man that is interested in another man, regardless of what he is wearing is gay. Homosexual. A friend of Dorothy.

I know that some CD's like to pretend they are women but let's be clear, they have men's bodies. They have working penises. They smell like men. They have sex like men. Cross Dressers are MEN by definition.

I was very fortunate in the genetic lottery, and after being on HRT for 17 months I am lucky to be very feminine looking and I don't even smell like a man anymore, but I am STLL a man. I am a transitioning TS girl who will someday be a legal woman but until then I am not, regardless of how I feel inside. My body is reality and two years of transition is not enough to overcome my birth handicap. It might be for some but not for me because I still look like a dude. I am light years beyond the average CD'r in regard to feminine presentation but let's just say any man that hears my "secret" isn't exactly gonna be shocked.

There are indeed men who prefer "femmy" even cross dressing men, but there is no fantasy, they know they're with men. They like it that way, and there's nothing wrong with it but let's not pretend we're something other than we're not. It just makes us look silly.

Hmmm Sounds like a huge case of superiority complex the way you are putting down CDs here. How do you expect to get respect for your struggles if you put to down CDs this way saying you are light years ahead of CDs.

Your comment about homosexuality goes back to that binary box mentality. A CD could not be attracted to men, but when dressed she could become attracted to men, maybe stepping into a female fantasy of being one who knows. Call it bisexual or whatever. Its been talked about in hundreds of threads on here.

[Beth Wilde]

Speaking as a gay CD, I have a partner who is also a CD, though he dresses less often than I do. I love being his GF, also like being her GF! Very rarely he is my GF..... Anyone got a headache yet? lol

Basically, people aren't just straight, bi or gay. People are all over the place, everyone is different and that is well worth celebrating.

Just to put the cat among the pigeons though, you cannot be straight and want to be with a man only when dressed..... You ARE bi, simple as that..... No straight person wants to be with someone of their own gender!! Whether or not you have (or ever plan) to act on that impulse, you ARE bi!!

[Lorileah]

I don't rule out anything. If there was a man who fit everything I wanted then yes and he could support me in the way I am accustomed. I just want someone who likes doing things I like to do, a woman would be nice, a man would be OK. Love knows no sex I say. And no to children...never had that desire

[JulieK1980]

It could have very easily ended up that way for me. I'm bi,and am equally attracted to both men and women. It just so happens I fell in love with my wife who is a woman, so no relationships with men for me.........anymore.

[NCAmazon]

Speaking as a gay CD, I have a partner who is also a CD, though he dresses less often than I do. I love being his GF, also like being her GF! Very rarely he is my GF..... Anyone got a headache yet? lol

Basically, people aren't just straight, bi or gay. People are all over the place, everyone is different and that is well worth celebrating.

Just to put the cat among the pigeons though, you cannot be straight and want to be with a man only when dressed..... You ARE bi, simple as that..... No straight person wants to be with someone of their own gender!! Whether or not you have (or ever plan) to act on that impulse, you ARE bi!!

Well agree that people are all over the place. but you put another put people in a box type comment by saying someone is Bi if they are dressed as a CD and have relations with a Man. A case could be that a CD when dressed fantasises that she is a GG woman and she is with a man as a heterosexual woman. Some may not call that bisexual or gay. Its hard to label that!!!

[Lucy_Bella]

NO.... Have had the chance over and over //.....////...................the same answer.......like I have alway's said wish I WAS GAY ,,,,, BUT I ain't...

[JulieK1980]

Well agree that people are all over the place. but you put another put people in a box type comment by saying someone is Bi if they are dressed as a CD and have relations with a Man. A case could be that a CD when dressed fantasises that she is a GG woman and she is with a man as a heterosexual woman. Some may not call that bisexual or gay. Its hard to label that!!!

I think the key word in there is "fantasize"

They may be fantasizing about being a GG, but they are not.

[Lucy_Bella]

yOU ARE CORRECT JODY

I will be honest my male side will kill anyone...

They know it....

[Valerie1973]

Perhaps if all the circumstances where in in order. Yes, I'm willing to try it with a guy. But no kids.

[SweetPea_GG]

I was wondering if there are any CDs who would have a normal relationship with a straight male. Not just sexual but actually have romantic feelings too. Perhaps even start a family together by adopting too

Just want to point out that you wouldn't be with a "straight" male..straight male equals male + female :)

[NCAmazon]

I think the key word in there is "fantasize"

They may be fantasizing about being a GG, but they are not.

Yes, There in lies the hard part of labeling this. If I fantasize that I am a woman and want to be in relations with a man, then its hetereosexual Female and Male. But the moment the fantasy is turned off, the desire for the male goes away.

So maybe it isn't bisexual. Why put a label.

[Krististeph]

Only if it was my wife dressed up as a man... the majority of CD are heterosexual, interestingly.

[JulieK1980]

Yes, There in lies the hard part of labeling this. If I fantasize that I am a woman and want to be in relations with a man, then its hetereosexual Female and Male. But the moment the fantasy is turned off, the desire for the male goes away.

So maybe it isn't bisexual. Why put a label.

The purpose of a label of course is to define something, and allow for better understanding of something. Labels are only bad, if they carry a negative connotation.

[suchacutie]

Am I missing something? How can a male be "straight" and have a relationship with a pre-op CD?

Just asking.

tina

[NCAmazon]

Am I missing something? How can a male be "straight" and have a relationship with a pre-op CD?

Just asking.

tina

Call it what you want, but the Male can be only attracted to the feminine presentation of the CD. He may not be attracted to the CD and his penis. But the CDs presentation as a woman. So its complex. I wish even the community here would be more open and not pigion hole things.

So I'll give a specific example here. Lets say I meet a Pre-OP TS or CD that happens to have Breast implants. I could get into a relationship with her and be attracted to her appearance and her feminine parts such as her breasts. But when it comes to being involved with her Penis I could have no desire for that.

So what does that make me????

[Gianna]

As a married man I love my wife dearly. I have always believed the most beautiful thing on this planet is a female. Period. But since joining this forum I have acknowledged that I have a feminine side and that it extends beyond dressing. I have finally admitted to myself that I am also attracted to men. With more and more frequency I find myself desiring to be in a physical relationship with a man, and to receive. I guess that makes me bi-sexual.

[Julia Welch]

Hell No !! not in this life !!

[danielletorresani]

I love the idea of being someone's object of lust but I don't think I could be with a man. I haven't done it, but I've definitely fantasized about having an encounter with another CD but I don't believe I'd be interested in an ongoing relationship with a man, CD or not.

[JessicaM1985]

Well since my current S.O. is male, I'd say anything is possible. ;)

I'm openly bisexual so I'd like that very much. :)

[vivianann]

No, no, no, no and no. I hope I made myself clear.

[CindyT]

Tough subject there... some people seem to relate cd's as all being gay which we obviously are all not but yes some are. I guess I would consider myself bi-curious but mainly hetero. I love women, beautiful women! I'm sometimes not sure if I want to "Do" them or "Be" them but none the less I like women!!! I don't find myself downloading pics of cute guys but there are a lot of pics of pretty girls on my computer! Cheerleaders etc... But... sometimes when dressed... there is a bit of a fantasy... I may never get the chance to meet a male for the purpose of intimacy but the right female would be really cool! OK now I'm confused... LOL!!!! Hetero, I'll leave it at that!!!!

[Imeni]

Call it what you want, but the Male can be only attracted to the feminine presentation of the CD. He may not be attracted to the CD and his penis. But the CDs presentation as a woman. So its complex. I wish even the community here would be more open and not pigion hole things.

So I'll give a specific example here. Lets say I meet a Pre-OP TS or CD that happens to have Breast implants. I could get into a relationship with her and be attracted to her appearance and her feminine parts such as her breasts. But when it comes to being involved with her Penis I could have no desire for that.

So what does that make me????

Honest and truthful. Something alot of people don't have the ability to do.

Me? I'm a large, chunky man. Unfortunatly, due to genetics and an unhealthy lifestyle, I look more like a 26 year old Santa Claus than I do being a lady. But I still yern to buy that pretty dress. To put on my nicest, frilliest lady things and snuggle up to my woman. Why? Because its who I am.

Awhile back, a friend asked me if I was gay when I told her I was a crossdresser. I informed her no. In no way could I be as I'm not attracted to men. Or even masculine women. I love my ladies girly. Not prissy and uptight, but just generally a bit of a bubbly personality that wear very feminine things. Even if I was born a woman, or were to go about making a transition into being one, I still would never be able to find myself attracted to the male form. I have often seen pictures of men here on the site and thought, "Wow! He's cute!" Why? Because he's mimicing the female form. In a way that catches my eye. Something about the way he shows himself says to me, "Those are qualities I find attractive." Would I ever wish to have a sexual relationship with them? No. Because I myself am not attracted that way to men. I idolize and wish I could look like that, even so much so that I wish I could meet a woman who resembles that.

[darci.c]

After years and years of contemplating question like these, what I have learned is this:

Human sexuality is way too complex to fit into categories. There really is no "straight" "gay" or "bi"

Did you know that a male is not born a male? We are all born female, then forced by chemicals into becoming something else - physically, hormonally, psychologically, and sexually. For many, the process is not complete.

I have personally found myself PROFOUNDLY attracted to people of varying degrees of gender identification, and even race. The truth is that animal magnetism comes from seeing a light of some kind in another person's soul. We emanate auras. Music to the eyes. When I see/hear it... I want to be close to it, in every way possible.

It is not a moral decision, nor is it acclimation to culture. We feel what we feel, whatever the reasons. Period.

[Loni]

kinda private question there.
what takes place behind doors is kept there.
but as for the gen answer. NO!

i love girls, women.
.

[Nicola2876]

I agree with Beth. I am attracted to men and women but I dont want to have gay sex with a man I want straight sex with a man as a woman. When Im with a woman I dont want to be in the male role either. So Im bi.

The answers here just goes to show there is a huge spectrum of sexuality and its impossible for someone to pigeon hole yourself or anyone into gay or straight.

[AudreyTN]

I was molested at the onset of my teenage years by a close friend and someone I trusted, and so I have trust issues with men. i enjoy being with both men and women, and ts/tg/tv/cd's equally in a sexual manner, but I could NEVER be in a relationship with a man. I don't trust them, I know how they think (since I was physically born one), and they're all selfish jerks. yes ALL of them. dont get me started on generalizations, they might not be for you, or to you, but they are jerks in my opinion. I once dated a guy for a year, because I was angry with women (before I accepted I was transgendered), and I told him I'd give it 1 year. If I didn't have any feelings at the end of a year, we'd go our separate ways. After a year, of incredible sex, lot's of fun doing things outside the bedroom, and hardly ever arguing or having any spats, there was still no emotional connection and I had no feelings for him and I broke it off. I am just not emotionally able to be in love or a relationship with a man. it's just not there. im sexually attracted to them, but not emotionally.

Nicola, I would have to echo your sentiments, i'll still go both ways, but I'll still be in a relationship with a woman.

[susmitha]

For me When I am all dressed up I am a women. I first I never thought of being with a man. As time went on I started to have feelings for a man. We dated and went out al lot. For him I was a women, not a man all dressed up. I know everybody has their own opinion. It is what you feel inside.

I also feel that I am a woman once I have dressed up. After completely dressing up, I think and feel like a real woman; almost forget that I am a man. But I want to be with a GG who dresses and acts the male role.


Only if it was my wife dressed up as a man... the majority of CD are heterosexual, interestingly.

This is ideal for me. My GG wife should dress as a man use me as a female. If she is ready to assume the male role, I can play the female role completely.

[Patsy]

Well I can't talk for all the other CDs but for me, of course, with the right man. This is my dream. You'd have to be pretty special though.

Just to be clear I was replying to the original thread. All this ménage Ã* trois stuff is over my head.

[Kate Simmons]

Personally, I don't see any issues with this if true love is involved.:)

[Vickie_CDTV]

This is ideal for me. My GG wife should dress as a man use me as a female. If she is ready to assume the male role, I can play the female role completely.

This is an interesting point. Personally I would love to have a role reversal relationship (not just in the sexual sense but a broader sense) where I play the more traditionally passive female role, and my female partner takes the more "dominant" role in the relationship. I wonder why those who desire to have that kind of role reversal and fantasize about being with a male but claim to be straight don't fantasize about being with a GG who plays the "male" role. Wouldn't a GG who wants to open the door for you, seduce you, court you, hold you in her arms etc. be what a straight dresser who wants to play the "female" role want? Is it because there is such a lack of GGs who would want a role reversal relationship (as I have been told so many times in my life GGs are just not attracted to "soft" men like me) one does not even bother? It is better to fantasize about something you could actually obtain in real life, even if it is not your ideal?

It is just something I have never understood (and believe me I have been around for a long long time.)

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm in a relationship with a male at the present time, it's GRAND. :battingeyelashes:

[Kayle Adell]

Yeah, I don't really see myself ever bein with a guy.

[Paula T]

but I really do believe that more men on this site are secretly harboring maybe just a slight fantasy to be a gal in all the ways at least once.:eek: I know that maybe just one time I would love to go on a date with a man and have the doors opened for me and the chair slid back at a resurant and maybe a nice goodnight kiss.:daydreaming: Maybe more who knows. I am a man but we are not all "jerks". And we do have a softer side. I am sure most of you have seen pictures of men in war holding their buddy close to them while they are badly wounded or dying.:sad:

[ArleneRaquel]

Paula T,
A fantastic post.

[bridget thronton]

No, I am monogamous and would be inimate with anyone besides my wife.

[Cassy]

I am in love with my wife. But it alway's be a fantasy of mine especially when i'm dressed and my feminine is out:)

[Ressie]

The variety of answers is very interesting. The scenario sounds like it's from a different world to me, but I'm sure there are a few out there that live like this.

My honest answer: I once had a male friend that I could have had a relationship with, and I had a gf at the same time. He wanted to have sex with my gf, but she didn't want him. The gf was very interested in having a 3-way with another male, but not him. I wasn't interested in a 3-way with any other male that she might have chosen either.

So, I think if it were the right two people, a lovely trio could develop. The caveat is it would be too complex and difficult emotionally, because there would be 3 separate relationships instead of 1. There would never be equal love in all 3 either. Normal relationships are very complex to begin with, so I couldn't see something like this lasting very long in reality.

[StevieTV]

Absolutely!! I'm a gay CD and still searching for a great guy to call my boyfriend.

[CINDYO]

WELL maybe i just don't quite get it, IMO any man that wants a relationship with a cder would definetly not be a "straight man" he would be a gay man, because the cder is a man.Would that not be correct? Having said that, any cders that wants a relationship with a straight man, is much more that just a CDer, he would be a gay CDer. I am trying to get this figured out, and post like this severly confuse me. I am a GG, trying to come to terms with this situation entering into my life, many years after being married. Need some clarification here.

[NCAmazon]

No, no, no, no and no. I hope I made myself clear.

Some of the comments on here come off as defensively homophobic. There is a lot of hypocracy in this community im learning.

[JulieK1980]

WELL maybe i just don't quite get it, IMO any man that wants a relationship with a cder would definetly not be a "straight man" he would be a gay man, because the cder is a man.Would that not be correct? Having said that, any cders that wants a relationship with a straight man, is much more that just a CDer, he would be a gay CDer. I am trying to get this figured out, and post like this severly confuse me. I am a GG, trying to come to terms with this situation entering into my life, many years after being married. Need some clarification here.

You are essentially correct. Although, some of us are bisexual.

[monalisa]

I don't think I would want a full time relationship with a man but when I am dressed I do have fantasies of being taken by a man or especially a cd. I feel like I want to try everything.

[NCAmazon]

You are essentially correct. Although, some of us are bisexual.

Don't call it Gay per say. Because you are attracted to the female presentation of the CD. But I agree it can be called bi since its being attracted to the combination of female and male in a CD or TS.

But lets say a man is really attractive to a POST OP TS and a lot has to do with the fact he knows she is a post op TS. That is in essence bi sexual as well.

But from the Book "Alice in Genderland" the author speaks in detail that a CD fantasizes about being in a relationship with a man. But its the mere fact that she is the woman. She doesn't get aroused by the man, but by her thought of being the woman. What do you call that??

[Stitch]

Some of the comments on here come off as defensively homophobic. There is a lot of hypocracy in this community im learning.

I disagree. Its not homophobic to not want to have sex with someone of your gender. Its sexual preference. If people were being derogatory I would consider that homophobic, but I've not seen any posts like that in this thread. vivianann may have used No more than the average poster, but I fail to see the homophobia there.

[NCAmazon]

I disagree. Its not homophobic to not want to have sex with someone of your gender. Its sexual preference. If people were being derogatory I would consider that homophobic, but I've not seen any posts like that in this thread. vivianann may have used No more than the average poster, but I fail to see the homophobia there.

Well one No may have been enough. But trying to emphasize with 4 no's can come off as trying to distance from being labeled homosexual. Thats what I wanted to point out.

[Jenniferathome]

Why no ask non crossdressing straight men the same question? You'll get the same answer, "No." the vast majority of Crossdressers are straight. There's no conversion because we like to wear dresses.

[SheilaK_CD]

When Iam all dolled up, I love being intimate with the "man of my life" - myself :D

[sherri]

That has been my fantasy since I started dressing. I would like to be in a true relationship and be his GF or wife. This is part of the struggle I am having, I love my wife but I wonder if I would be happier as a full time CD and have a boy friend. Thank god I found this site it is truely helping me try to figure out sooo much. I do not want to adopt at this time of my life. ILet me see if I can ease the burden of your struggle a little bit -- the reality is that for the vast majority of us, the chances of finding a man who is up to the challenge of having a bona fide relationship with a CDer are very, very, very slim. Sure, it's easy enough to find guys to have sex with, but that's a far cry from having a relationship of any substance. Occasionally you might meet a guy who talks a good game (usually in order to persuade you to have sex), but when you start expecting relationship stuff, he's gonna toss you some lame excuses and evaporate into thin air.

In other words, your desire may be genuine, but your expectation probably isn't. So you can stop tormenting yourself that you're missing out on some wonderful alternate life. Odds are, it doesn't exist.

[JulieK1980]

But from the Book "Alice in Genderland" the author speaks in detail that a CD fantasizes about being in a relationship with a man. But its the mere fact that she is the woman. She doesn't get aroused by the man, but by her thought of being the woman. What do you call that??

I would call that, something that can only be quantified by the individual. However, if a person is having homoerotic fantasies of being taken by a man, I'd have a hard time calling them straight. Perhaps "bi-curious" would be a better term in that circumstance. Deep down though, a person usually has an inkling of what their sexual orientation is. They may not like it, or accept it, or even acknowledge it, but they usually know.

[christina s]

Put me down in the curious column. While the idea of getting to dress up and be the seductress , is defiantly a fantasy of mine. I want a little more then just being a sexual object

[moondog]

I think the major issue dealing with gay or straight, especially while discussing crossdressing, is the genitals we're born with in opposition to how we perceive ourselves.

Let's take a guy who is attracted to and only wants to have sex with men. He does not dress as a female, does not want to be female, has no desire to be with females or anybody who dresses as one. We probably will all agree he is gay.

Let's take a guy who crossdresses but considers himself straight. For whatever reason he enjoys dressing as a woman but has no physical attraction to men and only has sex with women, whether dressed as female, or naked, he is only attracted to women. He will ALWAYS consider himself male, does not want to be female and has no desire to have sex with men. Regardless of how well he can pull of the male to female transformation, perhaps so well that most people believe him to be a her, he will always be he because he identifies himself as a man and remains only attracted to women. Do we call him straight even though he dresses as a woman? Would a fantasy of being with a man make him bi even if he has no desire to and will never live out the fantasy? I've read many women admit to fantasising about being raped, or forced into sex in some manner. Does that mean they WANT to be raped or forced into sex? Of course not, so I fail to see how we can draw a line from a fantasy of being with a man to a label of being bi-sexual.

Let's take someone who is born male but considers himself female. Is he gay simply because of the genitals he was born with and who he's attracted to and has sex with? Society considers him gay merely because he was born with a penis and is attracted to other men. In his mind he considers himself female, so is he truly gay? Isn't it telling that as far as the law is concerned someone is male until SRS is completed and the penis is gone? I should preface that last statement with that is my understanding of the legal issue of sex identity right now. I'm sure Melissa (aka Badtranny) would have a much deeper understanding of the legal issues facing a transgendered person. My point is, if he believes himself to be female then is he truly gay? Perhaps in the strictest sense of the word...he is a male having sex with men...but pyschologically we're venturing into murky waters. Pyschologically he is a woman, but through chance of birth she's trapped with penis that she does not want.

Let use take another guy who crossdresses. Can we call him gay if he crossdresses and through some quirk of his psychological makeup he is fully able to take on the complete personality of a woman, to the very extent that in his mind he BECOMES a woman. True, he has a penis and in all gentic aspects IS male and he knows this at all times, but in his mind he is female. While in this female state of mind he is attracted to men, and perhaps even has a relationship with a man, is he gay? He is very similar to the transgedered individual in that he believes himself to be female. Unlike the transgendered person, however, he can psychologically switch back to identifying as a male. In the strictest sense of the word he is gay because, regardless of how convincing he makes his female persona, he has a penis and is gentically male. Yet here again we're ventruing into a psychological area that deviates from simplistic definitions of sexuality and sexual identification. Is he gay or straight? Well, he's both, and neither, at different times, and at the same time.

Sorry this turned out to be so long. This post is not meant to offend, rather it's nothing more than my opinion and please take it as such.

[NCAmazon]

I would call that, something that can only be quantified by the individual. However, if a person is having homoerotic fantasies of being taken by a man, I'd have a hard time calling them straight. Perhaps "bi-curious" would be a better term in that circumstance. Deep down though, a person usually has an inkling of what their sexual orientation is. They may not like it, or accept it, or even acknowledge it, but they usually know.

Well thats my point that there is no direct boxed label for sexual orientation. I once had a relationship with a woman that had some personality traits that could be considered manly. I was attracted to some of those masculine traits, but I still enjoyed the fact she had a vagina. Does that make me Bi?

There is also the aspect of a CD wanting to explore a sexual fantasy with a man, but wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with a man.

Also if you look at a CD or TS escort, its been shown that the majority of their clients are married so called straight men. Explain that??




Let use take another guy who crossdresses. Can we call him gay if he crossdresses and through some quirk of his psychological makeup he is fully able to take on the complete personality of a woman, to the very extent that in his mind he BECOMES a woman. True, he has a penis and in all gentic aspects IS male and he knows this at all times, but in his mind he is female. While in this female state of mind he is attracted to men, and perhaps even has a relationship with a man, is he gay? He is very similar to the transgedered individual in that he believes himself to be female. Unlike the transgendered person, however, he can psychologically switch back to identifying as a male. In the strictest sense of the word he is gay because, regardless of how convincing he makes his female persona, he has a penis and is gentically male. Yet here again we're ventruing into a psychological area that deviates from simplistic definitions of sexuality and sexual identification. Is he gay or straight? Well, he's both, and neither, at different times, and at the same time.

Sorry this turned out to be so long. This post is not meant to offend, rather it's nothing more than my opinion and please take it as such.

I agree with this. State of mind can make a cd a hetero female. What can we label it? Oh well there will never be a consensus. But in terms of the law and if that situation ever goes to a court of law. The court will call it gay relations.

[missynicole]

when i am dressed i am a woman and do want to be with a man.....i guess that makes me bi.....when dressed i am a woman all the way with feelings, emotions and desires as such.....

[Lorileah]

I don't think anyone was being homophobic here. They did not say that gays were wrong in any manner. What they said is they , personally, would not participate. There was only one where fear was even intimated and that was a "trust" issue more than a fear issue.

I subscribe to the "no one is 100% gay or straight" theory. It isn't a black and white issue at all. I also believe you don't control who you fall in love with. You may limit your chances by avoiding some people but I think that when you fall in love you fall in love with the person and their spirit. I am bi. I won't hide that fact. I have a few times found men whom I could be with. If I had my druthers though, I want a female at this point in my life. Then again, if Mr Right were to come along... I try and be honest though, that when the make up and wig come off, I am male. Sometimes I wish otherwise but that is a fact. I also know that after a certain time the new wears off. What could start as lust may not be forever. Love, however knows no limits. You may settle into comfortable but the embers are always there.

If everything worked out right, I could be with a man. I could marry a man (there that will scare a few here). But I have no control over that, if it happens, it happens.

PS There are men in my life I love. Not sexually but that I feel are very close to me.

[Adelina]

If it was the right man, absolutely. I would love to take on that role, and if we make one another happy, if the sexual chemistry is good, etc. life is too short to worry about what it is and what it isn't. I would absolutely love such a situation. I'd also love the same with a supporting woman.

[cindybabe]

No, only females for me

[Crysten]

You know various cds and/or tg people have been killed for pretending to be what they are not. Regardless of who you decide to sleep with, just be honest about it.

[JessicaM1985]

I see a couple people here saying that it makes you gay. Not true, and unintended or not, is a diss to the bi community by passing us completely over as if we don't exist. I'll never get why people think that there is only straight and gay and nothing else. I myself am pansexual, meaning that I can date ANYONE, regardless of gender, including those outside the gender binary. It irks me when people act like bisexuals don't exist.... :/

[CINDYO]

Any person with an XY chromosone, that desires to be with a man, no matter what the circumstance is either bi-sexual or gay, PERIOD.
There are no excuses, let's face the facts and it is all ok, so long as no one is being hurt or decieved. Live and let live.

[NathalieX66]

Some people are bisexual, and bi-curious. If you're presenting as the other gender to satisfy your bisexual needs, then fine.
What I don't get is other CD/TG folks telling me is they're lesbian, when they, in fact referring to being attracted to CD/TG people who present as the opposite gender of their birth. It's seems like a cheesy fantasy, and a lie. Why not just admit that you're attracted to TG folks?


What about if you met someone who is a transitioned trannsexual? they're nothing manly about them. They just happen be women that live on the wrong skeleton, and don't have fully functioning reproductive organs?

[JulieK1980]

Any person with an XY chromosone, that desires to be with a man, no matter what the circumstance is either bi-sexual or gay, PERIOD.
There are no excuses, let's face the facts and it is all ok, so long as no one is being hurt or decieved. Live and let live.

Unless of course you happen to be one of the 300,000 or so variations between straight, bi, and gay.

[seanmuscle]

Hey I am a STRIGHT man. A CD is a woman to me. To say she is not is an insult to all CDs. I am attracted to femininity and showing a woman a good time. Loving her and taking her as my wife. A CD with a normal man is heterosexual.

[Imeni]

Hey I am a STRIGHT man. A CD is a woman to me. To say she is not is an insult to all CDs. I am attracted to femininity and showing a woman a good time. Loving her and taking her as my wife. A CD with a normal man is heterosexual.

Wow. Really? Let me ask you, do these women have a penis? If so, no matter how much you try and deny it, no matter what hopes and dreams and fantasies they have, or how you try and delude yourself, they are still male. Which then in turn, makes you either a Bisexual (meaning you're attracted to and or have had intercourse with them), or bi curious, meaning that you're often wondering what it would be like to be in a sexual relations with one. There is hiding in the closet, keeping yourself in the pink mist... and there is there is just ignorant.

[Gaby2]

I was wondering if there are any CDs who would have a normal relationship with a straight male. Not just sexual but actually have romantic feelings too. Perhaps even start a family together by adopting too
Wow, that was a great kick-off, seanmuscle! And got us all going!!!
The usual fantasy vs. reality "problem".
I now believe that my fantasy world is a very important though minor part of my everyday reality.
It's just not reality!

I love being a man (for the moment!).
But I would love to be a woman for a day...
the nearest I can come to that is by trying to get in a little on the GG act through CDing!

I tend to think along Lorileah's lines... after having spent years in denial about something so simple as CDing, I have noticed an attraction to men in the last year.
In other words, I wouldn't exclude it, if Mr. Right came aong.
I remember having similar feelings as a student before falling in love with my Ex when I was 23 years of age.

I consider myself lucky to have been (and be) in fairly stable relationships with women who have tried their utmost to understand me as a person.
CDing has played a role and moreso in the recent past.

I was at an after-concert party on Saturday where one of our friends (who knows I CD) tried to kiss all of us men while drunk. We all had a great laugh... and there was one pretty heavy kiss.
I refrained... I just don't want to send unclear signals. We were a "hetero" group of about six couples.

I must admit, I found the reactions of the GGs that evening amusing, indeed revealing...
:love:Gaby

[erickka]

Nope...Love GG's and above all, my wife.

[BRANDYJ]

Hey I am a STRIGHT man. A CD is a woman to me. To say she is not is an insult to all CDs. I am attracted to femininity and showing a woman a good time. Loving her and taking her as my wife. A CD with a normal man is heterosexual.

Based on all your previous posts and threads, you are no doubt a troll. In fact, you are a bisexual troll. The above statement is just more ignorance. I happen to be a CD that happens to be a man.
Believe me, I am not insulted whintelligentent people don't call me a woman. You are attracted to a guy that dresses and acts like a woman. But that feminine dressed MAN has a penis, therefore you are attracted to a man and not a woman.


All CDs eventually want to be with men. The girl inside is screaming to be released. She yearns for a strong masculine man to make her feel safe, secure, protected and loved.

Another example of someone ignorant about crossdressers and gender issues. Or is it just wishful thinking of another dime a dozen egotistical bisexual trolls? If anything would be an insult to most CD's this would be it. That is if it was not so damn laughable.

[briefing0007]

I have always considered myself heterosexual and for 40 years never thought about being with a man, but a year ago I spent a weekend with another CD and to be honest, there were sexual feelings.

I was very confused because I wasn't sure if it was my male side being attracted to him dressed as a female or was it my female side being attracted to him as a male. Or maybe I wanted the lesbian fantasy.

Ashley

[JessicaM1985]

Not all cd'ers desire to be with men, just like not all bisexuals are egotistical trolls. ;)

[Badtranny]

I have always considered myself heterosexual and for 40 years never thought about being with a man, but a year ago I spent a weekend with another CD and to be honest, there were sexual feelings.
I was very confused because I wasn't sure if it was my male side being attracted to him dressed as a female or was it my female side being attracted to him as a male. Or maybe I wanted the lesbian fantasy.

Ashley

This male side / female side thing is bizarre. You are ONE person and you are apparently attracted to another CD'r. Just accept it. Seriously if CD's are in a state of arousal already, just by being dressed, imagine how sexy getting undressed will be. Why are people so reluctant to just be? No offense Ash.

[Regan]

Melissa

Thanks for your comments I am starting to except who I really am and love it.

[Badtranny]

I think the major issue dealing with gay or straight, especially while discussing crossdressing, is the genitals we're born with in opposition to how we perceive ourselves.

Very eloquent Moondoggie, but I think all this does is give people excuses to deny their own identity. If I had been cross dressing back when I was struggling with my sexuality I would have LOVED this gay when dressed argument. That would have resolved all of my issues and I would have likely never done the work necessary to accept myself and come out. I would have embraced and defended this duality like my life depended on it because in fact my "straight" life would have been totally dependent on it. I really do understand the resistance to honest examination. It's a hell of a thing to identify as hetero but be attracted to men. I'm not trying to win an argument on this issue. (no seriously) I am really trying to help people who are sitting in the same chair I was just a few years ago. Being closeted to yourself is an awful condition and it doesn't help anyone. I've said that dark secrets make dark souls and I believe that to be absolutely true. Being deeply closeted forces you into herculean feats of justification as you do things that you KNOW are dangerous and dishonorable, but the human sex drive is too powerful to deny.

Don't hide from yourself, it will turn you into somebody you don't want to be.

[moondog]

Melissa,

I meditated for far too many hours last night on this subject, and have come to some clarity, at least as far as my sexual duality is concerned. Here it is:

I have lived my life as a heterosexual man and I have never had sexual encounters with another man. A couple of years ago a homoerotic fantasy popped up, no pun intended, and I shared it with my wife and she enjoyed it too. This is the one time I've ever had a fantasy of this nature.

The first time I ever wore panties was when I was 6 years old. I wore panties off and on thorught my life. The first time I fully dressed I was 26. I cannot remember why I wanted to wear my sister's panties when I was so young, I just remember my mother catching me and not being pleased at all. During the times I dressed as an adult it seemed to me a harmless kinky little thing to do for my own pleasure and I gave it little thought.

About a year ago something changed within me and my feelings when dressed became more feminine. I admit to using the straight in boy mode and attracted to men in girl mode, but that does not fully explain the feelings I have now when I dress. The eroticism and sexual turn on being dressed has diminished, yet I still have a strong desire to dress. I believe there is a female part to my personality and she's probably always been in me, just surpressed by my dominant male personality. This last year she started gaining power, and she wants to wear her own clothes. I believe she is also straight.

If people need to label me as gay...bi...trans...fine. My point is when I'm dressed as me...Dave, a heterosexual male, I have no physical/sexual attraction to other men, but when I'm dressed as a female, who has not shared her name yet, she is physically/sexually attracted to men. Perhaps I do have a split personality, but each side of me knows fully well what the other is doing and has done.

Right now I'm very confused. And fortunately in therepy.

[eluuzion]

hiya s,


Generally speaking cough,cough…no I would not consider having a “normal� relationship with you….oops, er, ah…sorry…I meant… with a straight male. :heehee:
Please remove my name from your, er, ah…sorry, I meant …. any candidate or mailing lists that cough,cough, you, oops sorry... I mean that “somebody� might potentially be trying to build. :)

Wait…is there an option that includes “if you got paid several million dollars, tax free�? If there is, I guess you could add me to that “yes� list…:daydreaming: But it would require a binding contract with some pretty tight written terms stipulating an agreed upon independent contractor fee to be paid to me to compensate me for my time, if I happen to change my mind the first day or so. I think $50K-$75K sounds fair...don't you? :drink:

:hugs:

:love:

Thanks! I hope that helps with the poll!

[Julogden]

Anybody who thinks a gay CD is something other than a man needs to drink a tall glass of reality check. CDs are MEN. Any man that is interested in another man, regardless of what he is wearing is gay. Homosexual. A friend of Dorothy.

I know that some CD's like to pretend they are women but let's be clear, they have men's bodies. They have working penises. They smell like men. They have sex like men. Cross Dressers are MEN by definition.

I was very fortunate in the genetic lottery, and after being on HRT for 17 months I am lucky to be very feminine looking and I don't even smell like a man anymore, but I am STLL a man. I am a transitioning TS girl who will someday be a legal woman but until then I am not, regardless of how I feel inside. My body is reality and two years of transition is not enough to overcome my birth handicap. It might be for some but not for me because I still look like a dude. I am light years beyond the average CD'r in regard to feminine presentation but let's just say any man that hears my "secret" isn't exactly gonna be shocked.

There are indeed men who prefer "femmy" even cross dressing men, but there is no fantasy, they know they're with men. They like it that way, and there's nothing wrong with it but let's not pretend we're something other than we're not. It just makes us look silly.
Wow, could you be any more insulting to CD's?

The concept of "woman" and "man" involves self-image and to a degree, roles in society. Whether one is a woman or man is largely determined by gender identity. That's the basis of being transsexual, gender identity doesn't match genetic sex. If you're functioning as a woman full time and feel that your essential being is female but haven't undergone genital conversion, then you're a woman, just not a female. And some male people who are technically CD's who dress due to gender identity issues only are women too. There are all kinds of women, but it sounds like you're buying into the attitude taken by the general, uneducated cisgendered population.

You're in a support forum, maybe you ought to try being supportive? Or do you have to emulate those who misunderstand and dislike us in order to convince yourself that you're far superior to those lowly, smelly men who prance around while dressed in women's clothes?


Just want to point out that you wouldn't be with a "straight" male..straight male equals male + female :)

Gay implies two reasonably masculine men, IMO. If one of the males identifies as a woman, then that's not the same thing. It's kind of a gray area. Many admirers that I've met are also attracted to females but not masculine males, so I'd say that the best description of their sexuality is sort of bisexual, but that doesn't quite suffice either. Sexuality and gender are way too complex to describe with the limited vocabulary that we currently have.

Carol

[Jaimie]

Answering the original post, I have been intimate with men and I have also dated men. Some of the men I dated only liked the crossdressed version of me. For the gay men that I dated CDing was a big turn off for them. I've also dated women. I can relate to women emotionally and sometimes I get turned on by women but men seem to have more of a sexual power over me. I enjoy the company of women but sometimes the sexual attraction just isn't there. I think that the women that I dated in my life were just a way for me to compensate for my lack of masculinity. I thought having a girlfriend would help me become manlier. Men can be nice but they can also be jerks, some men are even dangerous. Luckily I've never met the dangerous type. If anyone ever does decide do become intimate with a man to be safe, use a condom, and do it with someone you trust.

[Badtranny]

Wow, could you be any more insulting to CD's?

Probably, but what fun would that be. Are you the representative? If so then I will address my comments to you as their leader. Your people seem to be waaaaay too easily offended over stones thrown at their identity. Be it sexual or otherwise.

I'm fully aware that a LOT of CD's around here don't like me one little bit and would probably like me to just keep my opinions to myself. I won't be here forever, I'll eventually get bored like always but as long as I'm participating on this forum I will call it the way I see it. I might be wrong on occasion, I think it may have happened once, but I can't read through this forum and see some of the abject silliness that goes on without saying something. Sure I don't identify as a CD, but the Trannies don't claim me either so let's drop the us vs them angle cuz I have not taken a position against anyone.

I like the idea of a community even if it doesn't really exist. I don't have many TS friends here in my beloved Bay, but I have several CD friends and I love them. They are great people and great gals and a lot of the weird stuff that gets posted on here is just embarrassing to them. I think they're all straight, except for Niya who is a confirmed Transbian and I have never heard ANY of them talk about themselves in the third person. Nor do they seem to suffer from the grand delusion that they are something that they are not. Some identify as women and have considered going further. Some identify as men and just love getting out and about as women. These are real people who don't spend their time fantasizing about anything. They go out and do it and I admire and respect them for being strong people however they identify.

If being supportive means that I have to look the other way while a 240lb man puts on panties and a bra and claims he's a woman now so he wants some straight sex with a man, then supportive I will not be. I agree that gender presentation can be influenced and accepted on some levels by society and a man could certainly be attracted to the feminine aspects of a CD, but we part when you call it straight. Is it gay? I guess from a physiological perspective it is, but I'm flexible enough to call it alternative or freaky instead of gay, but calling it straight is just crazy. Is anybody REALLY straight? Hell I don't know but I do know that I have never slept with a straight man. They have claimed to be, but it clearly wasn't their first time.

Oh, and I don't misunderstand or dislike you. Therein lies the problem. I may not have been a closeted CD, but I was certainly closeted for a long time so I know all the tricks. If you and yours need the fantasy, then keep it to the fantasy sites, this is a support forum.

[StephanieDragg]

I very much enjoy a sexual and personal relationship with a man, love having a bf!!

[JessHaust]

In a word, NO.
I do not find men attractive in any way.

[JessicaM1985]

The biggest issue I see in this thread is that people are too quick to assign labels. Why not just be you and if that involves attraction to men, so be it? As was pointed out, sexuality is far more complex than a lot of people realize. As I tell people, just be who you are. Part of that os ignoring labels and being with whomever you want.

[seanmuscle]

Answering the original post, I have been intimate with men and I have also dated men. Some of the men I dated only liked the crossdressed version of me. For the gay men that I dated CDing was a big turn off for them. I've also dated women. I can relate to women emotionally and sometimes I get turned on by women but men seem to have more of a sexual power over me. I enjoy the company of women but sometimes the sexual attraction just isn't there. I think that the women that I dated in my life were just a way for me to compensate for my lack of masculinity. I thought having a girlfriend would help me become manlier. Men can be nice but they can also be jerks, some men are even dangerous. Luckily I've never met the dangerous type. If anyone ever does decide do become intimate with a man to be safe, use a condom, and do it with someone you trust.



exactly. Gay men like men who look and act like men. When a CD and a man get together it is simply a normal heterosexual relationship. A penis does not define ones gender. A person could be xy and be born with no testes and/or penis. Anybody that acts, dresses, and identifies as female is a woman to me. Its her gentleness, her caring nature, her grace and elegance. Her heels, makeup and skirt blowing in the wind. Its her longing to be protected and safe with her man.

[Lorileah]

Anybody that acts, dresses, and identifies as female is a woman to me. Its her gentleness, her caring nature, her grace and elegance. Her heels, makeup and skirt blowing in the wind. Its her longing to be protected and safe with her man.

The USOC may want to argue that point. Someone once posted here that "Just because you put frosting on your head doesn't make you a cupcake". I know many men who have a gentleness and a caring nature. They may take offense to being called a woman though. I also think Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire had tons of grace and elegance. (I would have married Gene Kelly in a heartbeat...:daydreaming:). I also know many genetic females who will kick your:kickbutt: if you think they need protection.

When you get down to pieces and parts a CD is a male (Mark this down I am siding with Badtranny) and when the make up and clothes come off it is homosexual sex. It might be a heterosexual fantasy but it is homosexual intercourse (unless someone has information I don't have and if you do please PM me, I would so love to have straight sex as a female...just to see if it is great as I think it must be)

[Michelle8]

I would love to be a wife and a mother.I would feel complete

[Badtranny]

When you get down to pieces and parts a CD is a male (Mark this down I am siding with Badtranny) and when the make up and clothes come off it is homosexual sex.

Lori, I am shocked to hear that you EVER disagree with me, because I love love love pretty much all of your posts. I don't recall us ever mixing it up, so perhaps you take pity on me but I want you to know that I think you are one gutsy broad. Your frank honesty and general fierceness is a pleasure to behold.

...and I'm honored that you apparently agree with me, this one time.

mark this down, what ever. ;-)

[Lorileah]

Lori, I am shocked to hear that you EVER disagree with me, because I love love love pretty much all of your posts. I don't recall us ever mixing it up, so perhaps you take pity on me but I want you to know that I think you are one gutsy broad. Your frank honesty and general fierceness is a pleasure to behold.

...and I'm honored that you apparently agree with me, this one time.

mark this down, what ever. ;-)

I am sure we disagreed somewhere. Do you like asparagus? I don't. :) I was just saying that I agreed with your earlier posts...sort of didn't come out that way. Rephrase, I agree with BT's earlier post :)


And thanks BT for the compliment

[GBJoker]

Never. I cannot be the female in a relationship with some one. It feels weird to me.

[susmitha]

Never. I cannot be the female in a relationship with some one. It feels weird to me.

I am physically male. But during intimacy, I love the female role. I love to dress as a woman and be the female in the relationship. The "male" partner should be a genetic female.

[Crysten]

Hey I am a STRIGHT man. A CD is a woman to me. To say she is not is an insult to all CDs. I am attracted to femininity and showing a woman a good time. Loving her and taking her as my wife. A CD with a normal man is heterosexual.

Ok back to my point. These hetero men tend to lose it when they discover thier "woman" is actually a "man" and this is where hate crimes come into the picture. Good luck with your theory.

[jennacda2]

I consider myself as a hetero crossdresser. I am more attracted to women. Having said that I've never really had an intimate realtionship with anyone before. But in general I like girls.

[Ressie]

I've never really had an intimate realtionship with anyone before. But in general I like girls.

You must lead a sheltered life, but maybe I don't understand your meaning. An explanation is optional.

[darci.c]

Yes.

I'm very picky when it comes to men, however. I usually go for the 25-35 age range. Must be VERY well dressed without looking like he's trying. Intelligent. smells good. smells GOOD. clean. lean. Must have personality chemistry. And of course, not have hangups over gender issues.

Then, it's on. Duh. My feminine side takes over, and instead of wanting to conquer, I want to please. I guess there are two me's living inside.

When pressed to reply, I've said I'm 80/20. straight/gay. "whatever that means" (c) I think my brain is just wired so that I'm a guy plus part girl. In fact, didn't Eddie Izzard say that once?

I dated a girl once who knew I was "bi"... but to her mind that meant "gay." Interestingly, she said I pleased her far and above any straight guys she's ever known. Maybe that was just pillow talk...

I smiled at her nonetheless. And went for another go.

[Julogden]

If being supportive means that I have to look the other way while a 240lb man puts on panties and a bra and claims he's a woman now so he wants some straight sex with a man, then supportive I will not be. I agree that gender presentation can be influenced and accepted on some levels by society and a man could certainly be attracted to the feminine aspects of a CD, but we part when you call it straight. Is it gay? I guess from a physiological perspective it is, but I'm flexible enough to call it alternative or freaky instead of gay, but calling it straight is just crazy. Is anybody REALLY straight? Hell I don't know but I do know that I have never slept with a straight man. They have claimed to be, but it clearly wasn't their first time.

Oh, and I don't misunderstand or dislike you. Therein lies the problem. I may not have been a closeted CD, but I was certainly closeted for a long time so I know all the tricks. If you and yours need the fantasy, then keep it to the fantasy sites, this is a support forum.

So now if someone is large, they're judged differently than someone slender and femme? You may not have meant it that way, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but that's how it comes across. But who are you to decide who is a man or woman? Perhaps that 240 pound male truly is a transsexual.

Besides, the fantasy of being a woman is a big turn-on for some, the bottom line for some CD's, and most members here are CD's, so you see that here sometimes. They may be going on about being a woman, but it's all part of their fantasy and it isn't hurting anyone.

And I never claimed that sex between a transgendered male, CD or whatever, and a straight man was straight sex, not sure where you got that from. I do feel that it's not truly 100% gay sex though, more in the realm of bisexuality, but that's probably not exactly accurate either. We don't have a specific term for sexual relationships like that. I hope to not shock you by saying that I agree that it's alternative sex, for lack of a better term.

I don't need the fantasy, myself. If I want to go out, I go out, and I had fun in my younger years. I'm too old to be carrying on like that now.

[Acastina]

But from the Book "Alice in Genderland" the author speaks in detail that a CD fantasizes about being in a relationship with a man. But its the mere fact that she is the woman. She doesn't get aroused by the man, but by her thought of being the woman. What do you call that??

That's a core principle of Dr. Blanchard's autogynephilia hypothesis, and it's a matter of considerable debate. Along with a substantial number of professional critics, I question whether the hypothesis is descriptive of a sort of pathology in and of itself (what Blanchard calls "a distinct paraphilia"), or simply descriptive of symptoms of gender dysphoria or some variant. In other words, do CDs suffer from autogynephilia, per se, as a disruption of "normal" sexuality, or is the phenomenon of transgendered behaviors a manifestation of whatever unknown factors cause us to be this way? There's an excellent discussion here: http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/autogynephilia.html

A primary criticism of the hypothesis is that it focuses on sexuality as a core criterion rather than other aspects of gender expression. Paraphilias are fetishes, abnormal sexual-arousal triggers and practices such as pedophilia and bestiality, and it's not hard to see why a researcher might start with our attraction to female clothing and view it as inherently fetishistic, especially since so many of us do report being aroused by dressing. My experience has been that many CDs come around to reconsidering the sexual orientation (hetero) that they assumed and presumed all their lives through the process of gender-presentation experimentation, and many are surprised at what they find once the presumption drops away and they explore their feelings outside the box.

[JulieK1980]

Probably, but what fun would that be. Are you the representative? If so then I will address my comments to you as their leader. Your people seem to be waaaaay too easily offended over stones thrown at their identity. Be it sexual or otherwise.

I'm fully aware that a LOT of CD's around here don't like me one little bit and would probably like me to just keep my opinions to myself. I won't be here forever, I'll eventually get bored like always but as long as I'm participating on this forum I will call it the way I see it. I might be wrong on occasion, I think it may have happened once, but I can't read through this forum and see some of the abject silliness that goes on without saying something. Sure I don't identify as a CD, but the Trannies don't claim me either so let's drop the us vs them angle cuz I have not taken a position against anyone.

On the contrary. I find many of your posts very interesting and informative. Even if I don't agree with everything you have to say, they are always at least thought provoking, and thought out.

[JaytoJillian]

I'm not touching this one with a uh, um a.... ten foot pole

[Badtranny]

So now if someone is large, they're judged differently than someone slender and femme? You may not have meant it that way, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but that's how it comes across. But who are you to decide who is a man or woman? Perhaps that 240 pound male truly is a transsexual.

I honestly can't believe it took this long for someone to quote this.

Firstly, the size isn't the point I was trying to share a visual of someone who isn't a CD like I know them, but just a guy who claims to be "all man" (sound familiar?) and likes to get his freak on a couple of times a month. There is nothing wrong with this picture, but can this guy really claim to be a woman so sex with a man is somehow not gay? I keep losing track of who is supposed to be all man and enjoy being a man, or who feels so much like a woman that sex with a man would be totally natural if only they weren't married.

If any guy who likes to wear women's underwear can call himself a cross dresser, and if any cross dresser is no different than a woman as long as they present as such, and if a cross dresser having sex with a man is straight, then I am hopelessly out of sync with the community.

Secondly, that 240lb man could indeed be a TS. I was in fact 240lbs in the fall of 2009 while I was in the depths of the struggle with my gender issues. That was my maximum weight and I used it as an example because I think someone who is serious about presenting themselves as a woman would at the very least work on losing weight. That is one of the FEW things trans people have control over.

[Daphne Renee]

I am not attracted to men.. so to answer the op question . I personally would not do that but i am not in a position to judge anyone else.

[darci.c]

Hmm... I think I posted without giving much thought to earlier posts. It seems that this thread has degenerated into controversy over definitions of sexuality and gender orientation.

I think we should not forget that all of these things are ideas. Ideas created by people, who are really in no position to comment on truth, since truth is more complex, subtle, and ineffable than we can ever hope to describe.

I don't think this should be taken so seriously.

We all get turned on for whatever the reason is. Pinning it down, describing it, slapping labels on it... is frustration. If you want to get into an argument with me over ideas like this... I say: "you win." While you're busy arguing, I'm busy having fun.

Waste your time how you will. But remember, life is short.

[Lisia]

I don't think this should be taken so seriously.

We all get turned on for whatever the reason is. Pinning it down, describing it, slapping labels on it... is frustration. If you want to get into an argument with me over ideas like this... I say: "you win." While you're busy arguing, I'm busy having fun.

Waste your time how you will. But remember, life is short.

I agree 100%. Save the arguing for the important stuff.

That being said, in response to the OP, I have never had any interest in a man, regardless of how I may be dressed. I do not at all understand the theory that two men having sex(again, regardless of how they may be dressed) could in any way be thought of as heterosexual. That however, is just me, and if someone else's viewpoint differs I can understand that they see things differently, even if I don't understand how or why they do. No disrespect intended to any previous posters, just stating my personal viewpoint.

Lisia

[Cindia]

I could definitely play the role of girlfriend in a relationship with man. Not to the point of adopting kids, etc, more of a kept woman kind of thing. Call it gay or not, but I'd be thinking of my self as female, whatever the reality.

[Gaby2]

...Besides, the fantasy of being a woman is a big turn-on for some, the bottom line for some CD's, and most members here are CD's, so you see that here sometimes. They may be going on about being a woman, but it's all part of their fantasy and it isn't hurting anyone.

And I never claimed that sex between a transgendered male, CD or whatever, and a straight man was straight sex, not sure where you got that from. I do feel that it's not truly 100% gay sex though, more in the realm of bisexuality, but that's probably not exactly accurate either. We don't have a specific term for sexual relationships like that. I hope to not shock you by saying that I agree that it's alternative sex, for lack of a better term.

I don't need the fantasy, myself. If I want to go out, I go out, and I had fun in my younger years. I'm too old to be carrying on like that now.

That caught my eye, Carol.
I can follow your argument about describing sex in various contexts with CDers as alternative sex, but perhaps it isn't necessary.
Why not just call a spade a spade?

As regards fantasizing...
CDing can be fantasizing but it is lots, lots more, as you know.

In contrast to you, I've spent my life hiding CDing and doubting my motivation.
Curiosity about what women wear - dresses, shoes, lingerie, make-up, you-name-it, even hairdressers was just that... curiosity.
Unfortunately, my youthful thirst for more info and a recurring desire to experiment led to constant self-doubt and confusion.

This situation became worse as I got older and took on more responsibilities.
Am I the man my wife married? How can I be a proper role-model for my kids?
I felt guilty and bad. I felt like I was doing something forbidden and wrong.
(In this point I only have myself to blame, of course.)

In the last year I've managed to clear up my mind that wearing dresses or make-up doesn't turn me into a "female", especially when being intimate. But it does make me feel better and often sexier... a feeling which I like.

For me, that's important Lisia and darci.

Every now and again, my SO and others question my "manhood" when dressed.
Should I refrain from dressing simply because others accuse me of living-out a foolish fantasy or having an obvious desire to be a woman, when I'm not?

Well... I try my best to be simply... me,
:hugs:Gaby


...If any guy who likes to wear women's underwear can call himself a cross dresser, and if any cross dresser is no different than a woman as long as they present as such, and if a cross dresser having sex with a man is straight, then I am hopelessly out of sync with the community...

You must have a closet full of spades, Melissa! :lovestruck:

[Delila]

I have been intoxicated and had sex with a man. I was immediately regretful the morning after when I was sober. I would think that many CDers would experience similar situations given the oportunity. When I am at my most femme I always fantasize about men but nothing will ever provide better than my wife.

[strangeone]

no no no
im I the only one who get's frustrated when people assume that because you cross dress you must be gay? different kettles of fish i feel, much love and respect to gay people but I can't get excited by the thought of intimacy with a man, even after a bottle of vodke (hats off to anyone who can still stand after two).

[MissMarcie]

But from the Book "Alice in Genderland" the author speaks in detail that a CD fantasizes about being in a relationship with a man. But its the mere fact that she is the woman. She doesn't get aroused by the man, but by her thought of being the woman. What do you call that??

You call that "gay". If it involves two guys, no matter how one or the other is dressed, it's a gay relationship. Threads like this are always interesting because some many people try to twist the definitions to suit themselves. Male + Male = Gay.

[Nigella]

This thread is now finished. It has gone away from the original post and is now a debate on sexuality.