Your picture on this site

[JessHaust]

Hi everybody,
This is a simple question to ask, but I expect some complex answers!
We all have supplied a picture to represent ourselves. A lot use real photos of ourselves, and most are I think like mine, one that you feel presents yourself in the best possible light.
But there are still lots with a cartoon avatar, graphics symbol, or a stock photo of some beautiful girl.
The question is for those without a real picture of yourselves, why? Is it simple embarassment of the way you feel you look? Or are trying to express some ideal image that you have assigned to yourself? Or another reason that I have just not thought of?

[AllieSF]

My avatar is a picture of my shadow on a green tennis court. I never had a pic of myself and this was the next step from a pic of something other than me. When I started here I had no pics to post and didn't want to post any for fear of being identified by someone who knows me. Over time as my confidence built and my paranoias diminished, I got braver. So, I posted some of my pics in my friend's threads here. Over time I found my shadow pic looked interesting and different and I decided that it was now to be my avatar. I haven't posted a facial pic yet, probably because I am still worried that a casual visitor who knows me in male mode might see me en femme and for whatever reason be able to identify me. So, I will continue to refrain from posting a pic of me for my avatar. Maybe one day. An avatar is not important to me and maybe not for others too for a variety of reasons. I do not define a person by their pics, but by their posts here.

[2B Natasha]

My avatar is a cartoon cha rector. Daphne Blake to more exact. I have that as mine in a bit of a protest to some censoring that I thought was over zealous and uncalled for of another's avatar photo. That's why. the many layers of subliminal meaning you can figure out by yourself.

Cheers!

[docrobbysherry]

R u saying I look like a cartoon character, Jess?

Whew! Thank goodness! Anything's better than looking like the skinny old man-in-a-dress that I am!

[Kate T]

Relatively simple answer. I don't trust people on the internet. Avatars come up on visitor access areas.

[prettieboy]

i dont have a camera or i would put up pic. my avatar on the other hand mabie thats what a girl should look like

[Alice B]

I use a real photo of myself because I think it's only fair to show what I really look like. Of course I use one that I feel is flattering and of course I want to look as female as possible. A difficult task at best.

[JenniferRose]

It was originally a picture I drew of myself that the first of my friends I told my dressing about when I came out took and redid in a lot more detail

[Launa]

I had a pic uploaded for a while but only my friends were able to see it not anybody else. The reason for this is that my wife is not comfortable with me posting a pic. She says that once its out there in cyber space that you can't take it back. I would love to post some here and also have a 2nd facebook account but I can't do it.
I have a pretty darn good relationship with the wife when it comes to dressing up and this might have to be one of those things that I just can't do right now. So for now it has to be that crappy graphic symbol. :(

[Cally]

I use real pictures of Cally because I am not concerned about someone recognizing me mainly because unless they have some facial recognition software running they most likely will not pick me.

I base this on an incident that happened a while back. I went to dinner in drab with a group of gurls and spent the evening talking to a GG across the table. When Cally rocked up the next week she did not recognize me at all. Her reactions were genuine enough and wasn't just making me feel good. I actually had to describe my drab self to her. I have come to the conclusion that whilst most will see I am not a real girl, they will not see who it really is.

So armed with that confidence, and a belief that the sort of people who I do not want to know about Cally most likely do not frequent sites like this anyway, I am happy to show Cally in as cool a picture as I can manage. And like Alice says, that is an ongoing challenge.

At the end of the day, if someone does join the dots, good luck to them.

[Samantha_Smile]

...The question is for those without a real picture of yourselves, why? Is it simple embarassment of the way you feel you look? Or are trying to express some ideal image that you have assigned to yourself? Or another reason that I have just not thought of?

Ive often wondered this.
I dont accept friend requests from cartoons and stock photo users. Some may say this is unfair, but let me explain.
Ive taken time and patience to get my game up to a level as such that Im confident enough to share an image of myself including my face. If you havent done this, then in my head, were clearly not on the same page.
It's not to say I have to support for these individuals, but I feel theres a lack of honesty that comes through when posters dont include an image of themselves.
Ive also noticed that a lot of these particulare users are the ones who start threads of wild, unbelievable adventures and have dozens of you commending them on their efforts...
This annoys me, not to see people doing well, but theres ZERO photographic evidence to prove they actually did what they claimed.
This is the internet, this is a forum and to quote my forum fore-fathers/mothers...
http://straightrazorplace.com/attachments/razors/28705d1249474228-my-%20new-straight-razor-stand-44789.-thread-completely-useless-without-images-1-.jpg

Im not calling everyone a liar, but did you know Im actually a billionaire?
Ive got a Veyron too.

If you havent got pictures, in my opinion, youre not even trying.

[noeleena]

Hi,

What you see is what you get & im seen every day so if you saw me down the street some where. youd soon reconise me . so its real & Jos took a number of pics in our back yard, i do have one of Jos & i together taken about 10 years ago in the pics section & you wont see much difference from then to now, not at 64, there is another one on the net just i was wearing a wig then use my name for that,

...noeleena...

[Jonianne]

If you havent got pictures, in my opinion, youre not even trying

"...if someone has an issue, they have every right to tell me how they feel, they do not have the right to tell me how I should be...." Quote from psychologist Dr. Joy Browne, on truly accepting yourself.

I used to have a pic of myself as my avatar, but I chose my current image because it depicts how I feel inside. Others may not understand, but I do. If you want to see a pic of me, look on my profile page.

[gungho]

It's a large part lack of self-confidence and another large part of just not having pictures to share. I'd like to change it but I'm young and I'm poor and I'm barely a part-time lurker at this point. I spend more time reading the text than caring about the picture in the avatar.

[paulaprimo]

hi jess, i do have a pic on my homepage. i just joined the forum a few days ago so i want to get a more representative face pic and then i will happily post it!! i would love to post more than one pic on my homepage also, but i guess that i can't!

[helena.gcd]

i have had a pic of me as an avatar, but some time ago i found this one of ranma featuring both characters together and in some way it represents the way i feel now, some times a boy some times a girl.

i don't have issues showing pics of me. i have a few threads on the Picture and video section. Anyway, avatar is something i change from time to time, so maybe next one is another pic of me.

i can understand that some people doesn't like showing their face on the internet. Specially on the beginning you are afraid that somebody you know recognizes you, but as confidence raises i think that most people is less hesitant of showing pics.

[SallyS]

At 42 I stopped caring too much what people might say about me:)

If someone sees my female images, and still recognises me, then I guess I need better make-up:D

It's right for some to hide themselves, for security, family, work reasons etc, but if like me you love to have other 'gals' opinions of what you look like en femme, then picture post away!!!

[erickka]

I supply as little as I can get away wth on the net. There are just too mant whackos out there to risk anything. I don't do ANY personal or financial stuff on the web, even though they say secure......HOGWASH!!! There's a hacker lurking for you.

[Beth Wilde]

Yep, this is me (admittedly the best pic of the 80 or so i took, some of which looked awful). Very few people truly study avatars closely, and I look a lot different in male mode so I'm more than happy that nobody would recognise me!

[Foxglove]

I don't post a picture of myself because I don't have one. I've never owned a camera in my life, don't have a phone camera, never will have one. I don't have any photos of my son growing up or anything like that. Basically, unlike a lot of people in this world, I have no interest whatsoever in photos.

If someone were to suggest that my avatar shows a lack of honesty, I'd say quite the contrary. It's a bit of joke aimed at myself. Is that valid?

[Ineke Vashon]

I hope to use a real picture avatar later, when I've had a chance to have a makeover done. I'm a newcomer at this game.

Ineke

[monalisa]

I think it is because some of us haven't found the perfect look that we are satisfied with and also some of us aren't ready to come out to the world. When I look at some of the pictures posted I am very envious as I will never have a chance at becoming Miss America anymore.

[Misty G]

I use a real photo of my self. It is fairly old one but it is one of my favorite

[jessica renee]

I don't post pictures of myself dressed enfemme online. The main reason is the same as others have stated already, security. While I fully believe anyone who might come across my photo on this site would be accepting of me dressing, there are people out there who just want pictures and other information for their own malicious use. I'm not accusing anyone here of such activites but we all know that those type of people are out there. So for now, Jessica's pictures will remain on my camera's memory card.

[Sara Jessica]

My avatar is a picture of my shadow on a green tennis court...

That is so cool! I never really gave it any thought as to what that was other than assuming it was some kind of stock image or other avatar picked up off the net.


Ive often wondered this.
I dont accept friend requests from cartoons and stock photo users. Some may say this is unfair, but let me explain.
Ive taken time and patience to get my game up to a level as such that Im confident enough to share an image of myself including my face. If you havent done this, then in my head, were clearly not on the same page.
It's not to say I have to support for these individuals, but I feel theres a lack of honesty that comes through when posters dont include an image of themselves.
Ive also noticed that a lot of these particulare users are the ones who start threads of wild, unbelievable adventures and have dozens of you commending them on their efforts...
This annoys me, not to see people doing well, but theres ZERO photographic evidence to prove they actually did what they claimed....If you havent got pictures, in my opinion, youre not even trying.

I see where you're coming from but don't you think it's a bit unfair?

Avatars are visible to anyone who might trip into this site. While it doesn't take much more than a breath test and a pulse to be able to get an account here, at least one would have to go to that effort and if they did so, they'd really have a mission in a desire to "find" someone.

I started out in these pages for quite some time with a cartoon avatar and no pictures. Then eventually I came to enjoy sharing my adventures and pictures in the appropriate members only area. Only recently did I come up with a picture that I now use as my avatar, one which at close inspection someone would have to be unbelievably perceptive to be able to see my other side.

Many people have concerns about inadvertently outing themselves and those are legitimate. I would apply your "rule" to anyone who I was becoming friends with (IRL rather than simply collecting friends on a site such as this). Otherwise, I do look at the number of posts if something comes across as unbelievable and would take it with a grain of salt if an experienced poster were to make some outlandish claims of grandeur without posting something to back it up.

[Marleena]

Jess, I'm relatively new at makeup so it took awhile for me to put up a face picture. I post so darn much on here I did put up a face avatar on here as soon as I was comfortable with it so people would know I'm for real. My current avatar is there because a few of my friends like it, and it goes with my current signature. Anybody can click on my avatar to see my profile pic that is me.:)

[Natalie D]

When I first joined the site I didn't feel comfortable about using my picture as my avatar. But after being here a while my opinion has changed. When "talking" with people I like to have some idea of who I'm chatting to, so seeing a picture of someone helps.
My avatar is me and one that I think of me looking my best. I do from time to time change it. I haven't used a close up of my face as I wouldn't want to be recognised. I'd be amazed if anyone recognised me from my avatar.

[Nicola2876]

If I had a decent pic of myself dressed I would use it. I do love my avatar tho so Im happy for you all to think of me as a little angel x

[KayleeDahl]

Well, I'm a cartoon girl right now, and for those of you who have been on here a while, probably know that in the past i've posted my photo as my avatar, and i'm sure it can still be found in some photo threads.

The reason I changed it recently is that I came out to my significant other, and should she start searching about the topic, I don't want her to have my photo come up - because she has told me that she IS NOT ready to see my picture yet. So I have switched it out of courtesy to her.

I suspect in the future I will go back to having a real pic as an avatar.

Hugs
Kaylee

[joank]

Just not tech savey.

[ArleneRaquel]

Just not tech savey.

Same here I do have pics elsewhere due to that site was a hosting a CD event that I attended, 3 pics total.

[Abbyru1]

There is a certain reserved set of actions why I have neither. Although computors have come a very long way from just a few short years
ago, there are tons af despicable people who live by what they find on the net. If you know where to look , there is so much information
available about anybody that it is scary. If someone wants,this reply can be put into real life and used for something it isn't designed to be.
Putting a warning in the signature will not stop someone although it can be more of a force in a legal document. That is not to say that
I wouldn't someday. . . . . .

[Meg East]

I use a picture showing what I consider to be my best quality.

[GingerLeigh]

Other than at Halloween, nobody has seen me with my makeup on so I'm not sure how revealing/concealing my efforts are. I may just look like me with a wig for all I know and I don't want to be recognized, even if the risk is low. Any curious schmuck with a computer and eyeballs can find this place and potentially see someone they know. I also don't want my picture taken from here and posted somewhere else by some unscrupulous sort to either be ridiculed or used for anything other than it was originally intended.

Someday, maybe but not today.

[RenneB]

My avitar is a picture of me from my view point looking down.

That's what I think matters to me is what i see not what I see in the mirror.

Athough I do spend a lot of time in front of the mirror making sure that I look as good as possible the rest of the time, I'm looking out or down.

Renne....

[Lorileah]

When you walk into someones house they don't have a picture of themselves when they first wake up or after they get done changing the plumbing under the sink. You see the best they have even if you look at them and say, wow that doesn't look like you.

<----that's me. One of many I have that took a long time to get ready for. I have many many more (yes even on the net) that are not as good. And if anyone works hard enough they can figure out who I am anyway. (It ain't rocket surgery...my car has personalized plates to start with and I have several photos of me in my office, everyone assumes it is my GF, flattering to me, kind of an insult to her ;)). But the thing is that many here never progress to the point of total transformation. So they choose what they want to look like, what they think they look like, or just a picture or legs, feet . heels, whatever. That's OK because we all start slow and work up. My MIL told me I was the ugliest woman in the world (evidently her mirror was out of order), so I know how some here feel they can't represent. They are wrong, we are who we are and if you are happy with how you look, usually the picture shows you at your best.

Mickey Gilley said it in his song
I don't mean to criticize the girls at all
'Cause I know Robert Redford even overhauls
An' we all picture in our minds a girl that looks just right

[Katelyn B]

When I first started posting, not that I've been doing so all that long, I used a picture of my legs, which is still on my profile. The reason being whilst I'm out to my friends and live as a woman I don't consider myself out to the world in general, I don't dress at work for example, and when out and about I just want to be ignored (as in just taken as a female element in the crowd).

After a while I came to feel that I was being slightly dishonest with everyone else here by hiding my face, I'm not ashamed of who I am (any more) and wanted something which I felt summed me up, which is why it isn't a good picture, it has awful lighting, taken on a camera phone in a mirror, not much makeup (and what I was wearing you can't really see). But, it sums up who I am, I'm not trying to be a beautiful woman, I'm just being me, a rather plain girl who was unfortunately born a man. I don't wear tons of makeup or spend hours getting ready to go out, a cute top and jeans does me just fine most of the time.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm in full agreement with Miss Smile. A picture avatar lends credibility to the post. I also like to see avatar pictures changed now and then like Karren does. It gives a refreshing change of view. Gotta get mine changed soon.

[MrsKali]

are you suggesting I don't look like Jessica Rabbit;)

[Debra Russell]

I understand avatars other than a photo of ones self - I post my pic and usually only a pic that I personally like and feel "pretty" as I look at it. I am only out to a handfull but don't really care. If someone recognizes me on this site - we must be of kindred spirit, and I like to see in reality who it is that is posting......................Debra

[MsJanessa]

I use two photos of myself--one for my avatar and one in my profile---both were chosen to at least partially reflect my personality.

Those who choose not to post photos have a number of reasons not to do so---one being their personal privacy and protection--if you are not really out or not out very much, having your photo dressed would not be something you would care to have made public to your friends and family---and although most of us look quite different in makeup, wigs, dresses etc, some of us still look familiar enough to be identified and if youre not ready for that, then maybe a photo is not advisable

[drushin703]

As you can see Jess your question has put a lot of the members here on the defensive.But speaking personally, I am a transgendered adult but I use to be a
transgendered teen.And although now I can defend my self and my position, as a teen I was the subject of constant bullying, taunts and namecalling.Whether
I look back or look in the future, it hurt and its going to hurt tomorrow.Saying why one chooses to post a picture of themselves or not HAS NOTHING to do
with crossdressing or the need to do so.So whether you dont have a camera, cant figure out how to post photos, concerned about security, scared of
being found out, havent learned good makeup skills, or whatever, posting a photo DOES NOT give validity to anything....I hope your not being a bully.



dana.......the ugliest crossdresser in the world..

[JessHaust]

are you suggesting I don't look like Jessica Rabbit;)

Sorry sweetie, but I don't think you were drawn that way!

[~Joanne~]

I agree with a lot of the gurls here. I just joined so I haven't made the time yet to even consider my avatar. Like I have stated, I am in the closet. Some days I am more risky than others but most of the time I do everything I can to make sure I am not outed until I am fully prepared to be, was reckless enough to be, or I arrive at that point in my life when I fully accept who I am unconditionally.

Not when someone finds a pic , copies it, prints it and starts sending it to everyone they know because they have nothing better to do with themselves or to prove they found the darkest secret in the world. I am not saying that I will never put up a real pic because one baby step leads to another but it will be of my time and choosing.

The main reason though is because this very forum can be seen by anyone, member or not. I know because I lurked for a very long time to get a real feel for this baby step. Once I am allowed into the private section......who knows.

[suzy1]

I am trying to get my head round this “I could be recognised” thing.
First, will I be recognised by someone I know? Well it’s possible I suppose.

But why would anybody I know be looking through the members on a crossdressing site?

But having said that, if they do and come across Suzy they are going to be a bit gobsmacked at the sexy beauty they see before them and look harder I suppose.:battingeyelashes:


SUZY

[JessHaust]

As you can see Jess your question has put a lot of the members here on the defensive.


I was never trying to put anybody on defense, I just wanted to know the story behind their Avatars.
I really don't think most took it badly, they are just honest about their feelings. I think some fear comes hand-in-hand with the CD/TG thing, I have certainly had my terrified moments. And although I have a much better grip on it now, it's still there, just behind the excitement of being dressed.

[~Joanne~]

I am trying to get my head round this “I could be recognised” thing.
First, will I be recognised by someone I know? Well it’s possible I suppose.

But why would anybody I know be looking through the members on a crossdressing site?

But having said that, if they do and come across Suzy they are going to be a bit gobsmacked at the sexy beauty they see before them and look harder I suppose.:battingeyelashes:


SUZY

I guess the answer would be if someone in your family, friends, or circle of acquaintances SUSPECT that you might be a CD, they might to go to the length of proving themselves right whether they actually asked you or not about it.

People do strange things for stranger reasons, I stopped trying to second guess peoples motives for anything anymore lol

[~Joanne~]

I was never trying to put anybody on defense, I just wanted to know the story behind their Avatars.
I really don't think most took it badly, they are just honest about their feelings. I think some fear comes hand-in-hand with the CD/TG thing, I have certainly had my terrified moments. And although I have a much better grip on it now, it's still there, just behind the excitement of being dressed.


I never took or read it badly hon ;) I was a little offended by the person who needs a real pic to be friends with anyone but other than that, this was an interesting read :)

[Julia_in_Pa]

What you see is what you get.

No photoshop work, just me smiling into the lens.


Julia

[kelliT]

Just like my clothes and wigs from the past, wish I had kept some of my picts I've gotten rid of. Here's mine.

[KarenCDFL]

How about that this site is search-able by all of the major search engines on the INTERNET and I felt uncomfortable showing my picture to people who should not see it.

If this site was not search-able and locked down to the public and the only people who could see it was the people who sign into this site, I would be glad to show my real face.

[Donnaph]

You see no picture of me for the simple reason I can not pass, plus I only underdress. Facial hair showing and dressed???? Nope I just don't think it would do justice to me nor would anyone else enjoy seeing it.

[meganmartin]

Good question Jess!

Although i can understand peoples apprehension on not wanting to show themselves, with privacy concerns and other issues online. However if someone I know spots me on this site they have things to hide too.

But me i want to express my progress although I know have lots of room to grow and more to learn, think showing your progress gives others to compliment and to give advice along the way.

[patti1569]

My avatars have been a reflection of my progression in my dressing. At first, it was a cartoon because I had almost no clothes and no pictures. Then I posted a pic of my legs in stockings and heels. I still wasn't comfortable showing my face and I didn't have a wig or makeup. Then I posted a very dark grainy image of my face, but it was hard to even tell if it was a human let alone a man or a woman! Now, as you can see, I feel better about how I look. I'm not worried that someone I know may stumble across my pics, and if they did, I don't think they could tell it is me. I do understand the fear and would never hold it against anyone who wouldn't post a face pic.

[Cindy M]

I didn't have one for a little while.
I couldn't wait to take one of me out somewhere.
There's a comfort level that alot have to reach to post one of themselves.

<------- Me!

[JessGold]

I haven't put up a pic yet, primarily because I've been here for only one month and frankly I don't have one worth showing. I don't have any clothing or a wig and prefer to keep "man in makeup" to myself right now.

For me, just being on this site is a step in the right direction of personally accepting who I am. But, I will say, any lurker with a fetish and a desire to be here for the wrong reasons could be. So, I accept that adding an avatar will lend me credibility as a real TG person (girl :battingeyelashes:) and until then I don't expect I will be making friends, but just taking in the wealth of knowledge available to us here.

Honestly, I can't begin to imagine how many men with a fetish sign up here when they've had a few too many. They let their mind wander, post some ridiculous drivel and never come back, or only when they get another chance to tie one on. So it does make sense that a post with a unique avatar (of the person) lends credibility to the poster.

I will just repeat, I am not the first to post that the opportunity to post a pic hasn't arrived yet, but will in the near future. Sooner, than later, I'll find time to post a pic of myself. Until then, know I'm not a lurker and will be around for a while. I appreciate everything I've learned from the girls here and am grateful this site exists.

OK, so after a little gushing, and a long winded response, thats why I don't have an Avatar.

[meganmartin]

Just a suggestion, for me in the early days i would share my pictures with all the Ts, GG's and other accomplished cds to get oppinions, suggestions etc even though it was HORRIBLE and painful to hear it helped me so much. I was so self conscious about my appearance i would only photograph myself in dark sunglasses.

[Dawn cd]

I don't show a photo because I no longer dress completely (altho I have in the past). I have no wig, no dress, and don't present myself as a woman. On the other hand I wear plenty of women's clothing in public, have longish hair, wear light makeup, shape my eyebrows, polish my nails—so I belong. I'm sorry if Smile won't be my friend for that reason. Her loss.

[Cheryl T]

I use a real photo because I am proud of who I am.
I want others to know who they are hearing from and interacting with. It took me a long time to be happy with how I am and how I look and now that I am in that blissful state I like that others can finally see me.

[Eryn]

<--- That is me, and my security needs are satisfied by keeping my face small and resolution low. I chose that picture because it was one of the first ones I took that looked reasonably good. It is getting a bit stale and I need to think about replacing it.

I like having it there because it makes it easy to find the point at which I last commented on a thread.

[StaceyJane]

My picture was taken at the photography studio in the Temple, Texas Walmart.

[Laurie A]

I used a stock photo for my avatar when I first joined because I had no picture of myself enfemme. I have never really been happy with any of the photos I have taken of myself. The avatar photo is just a picture I like, I try to have a sense of humor, but it doesn't represent anything in particular about me.

Recently I added a picture of myself on my profile page, so anyone who is a member can see what I look like.

[Badtranny]

I haven't posted a facial pic yet, probably because I am still worried that a casual visitor who knows me in male mode might see me en femme and for whatever reason be able to identify me.

Allie I've seen you both ways and I can guarantee that no one would be able to recognize you. I certainly wouldn't have.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I use a real photo because I am proud of who I am.
I want others to know who they are hearing from and interacting with. It took me a long time to be happy with how I am and how I look and now that I am in that blissful state I like that others can finally see me.
Wow, exactly what i was going to say!!!

[linda allen]

i dont have a camera or i would put up pic. my avatar on the other hand mabie thats what a girl should look like

Digital cameras are very inexpensive. I've seen them for $20. Reall good ones can be had for $100.00.

[ReineD]

The question is for those without a real picture of yourselves, why? Is it simple embarassment of the way you feel you look? Or are trying to express some ideal image that you have assigned to yourself? Or another reason that I have just not thought of?

Privacy. This section of the forum is viewable by the general public. The CDing is stigmatized in our society and even some GGs do not wish to post a likeness of themselves online.

[Badtranny]

Wow, exactly what i was going to say!!!

I would agree as well. I also hear what Smile is saying though I don't feel as strongly about it.

I don't feel anything LESS for those that don't post their own pics, but I do admit to feeling something MORE for those that do. If somebody has their face posted right beside their opinion I pretty much have to take them seriously. It's like putting your money where your mouth is. Allie has stated her reasons and I respect them but she is as real as it gets and I know that only because I am lucky enough to have met her personally a few times. If I didn't know her, then I would probably discount her point of view a tiny bit. It's hard to form a bond with someone when you think there might be a chance that they aren't even who they say they are. I've heard the stories of girls meeting other girls from the forum and well, "she" was a total fraud.

Like me or not, nobody can accuse me of being anything but real. Everything I write can practically be fact checked.

[Piora]

While my avatar and profile pictures are of me, I won't post any that show my face, regardless.

[ChristineM]

What, me worry? I'm not afraid to use my real face.

[ReineD]

I don't feel anything LESS for those that don't post their own pics, but I do admit to feeling something MORE for those that do. .... It's like putting your money where your mouth is.

If someone is TS and is planning a transition to full time, then I see your point. Eventually everyone will know anyway, it's just a question of time. If they are not planning to transition but they say they are, then I would question their ability to be honest as well.

But, CDers do not plan on going full time. They do have a gender identity that is not 100% female, they have no need to be femme full time including at work (even if it is paramount for them to express themselves on a regular basis), they are not willing to compromise their jobs, their families, or some of their friends. If they've found a way to live in this very difficult "middle place" by keeping their feminine expression under their control (and by this I mean that THEY choose who should know or not know rather than leave it up to a chance disclosure online), then can they be faulted for this?

[Lori B]

que sera,sera........................xZbKHDPPrrc:heehe e:

[Lucy_Bella]

I don't even come close to what I look like in " male mode " so I have no problem posting a pic.. Besides if someone I knew was to ask, then that might be a little un easy..

[Angelofsomekind]

I like this picture. I don't think most people would know it was me if they just happened to see it, unless I'm on their mind all the time. If someone did know it was me, who knows, maybe they'd want to go clubbing sometime.

I've had it happen once, someone I knew a few years back asked me if it was me, turns out he dressed to, so it was no big deal.

[Jorja]

I am one that uses an avatar. I used to post my pictures online because I am proud of whom I am and I felt it gave some creditability to my posts. One day I got a phone call asking when I did nude pictures. I answered, I never had done something like that. I was given the url. Yep, there I was, sprawled across my monitor in all my glory. Well, not exactly. It was my face on someone else’s body. By the end of the day that picture was on every porn site on the web. It ended up costing me several thousand dollars to get those pictures removed. It cost me several thousand dollars for something I did not do. Every now and then one of those pictures will pop up even today. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Well, that is never going to happen again. No pictures online means no pictures can be stolen and used in this manner.

[Sister Rachel]

Maybe I'm foolish, but I don't worry anymore! I felt I had to put up a picture of myself in a dress, just to show that I'm not faking! People who know me might recognise me from the pic if they were to see it, but I doubt they will unless I show them ;)

[Badtranny]

then can they be faulted for this?

I have no argument for you. I'm on record saying CD's do not need to come out to everyone. Why would they? And I also agree about the difficult middle place. Yikes I have enough problems with the difficult all the way out place. Which I know is easier than the halfway out place. ;-)

However, I can't help but feel more connected to someone if I see their face. I'm a social butterfly I can't help it!

[Debglam]

I think it is a matter of comfort. I think everyone is pretty nervous when they first start posting here. As I became more comfortable in my own skin, first came the photo, then the photo without sunglasses, etc.

I personally like seeing avatar photos but I fully understand why someone wouldn't want to use one. Again, whatever you are comfortable with.

I'd add one more thing, everyone I have met so far looks prettier in person!


My avatar is a picture of my shadow on a green tennis court.

Allie, I had NO idea! That is just wild!

Deb

[drushin703]

In the 2003 movie COLD MOUNTAIN, a wonderful love story wraped around the waning days of the civil war, Ada Monroe (beautifully played by Nicole
Kidman) chided a reluctant Inman (Jude Law) to show her his tin-type, "your photograph, with your courage and musket on display".What I was trying
to say earlier was that posting a photo, an enfemme photo, to other crossdressers on a crossdresser site, is not an example of courage. I appoligize to
you Jess, I didnt take your post badly and certianly did not want to imply that it was bullying but thru some very painful memories I can recall being
ostricized from every possible group known to mankind for being the sissy.And for a long time,befor this forum, I thought I might just be the only
sissy on earth.Does that mean a picture of me is forthcoming.....?Probably not>...But I love you all so very much...dana

[erica2]

Interesting question to be sure. I have no photos up for several reasons. We could start with the one that looms long over me - I've been in the closet for close to fifty years. I am not sure I'd be just popping pictures of myself out there quite yet. I am lucky in that my wife supports the CD thing, but I am VERY sure that none of my family would. Second - I don't know that I'd want others I work with to run across my femme self here (or anywhere else!) as I don't think they are as open and acceptive as the company promotes us to be. Last, I don't have a lot of confidence in my appearance after looking around here for the last while. I may be inclined to post a headless photo i the not too distant future, but that will take a little mental preparation up front.

This is a de-stressing thing for me, and I don't want to become re-stressed over it. It seems that this is an open and acceptive group save for a few, and I enjoy hanging out here and reading, and more than anyting, finding that there are others that have similar thoughts and situations to mine.

Thanks for reading...
I am Erica2

[donnatracey]

Well, I've always had a fascination for red lips! Plus, like Eryn said, it is easy to spot when scrolling through threads to see where I've posted. Also, I've had the fear that my picture (which I don't take well, drab or fem) would be less than flattering. Though I recently have started taking some shots so who knows, maybe in the future I will use one....:heehee:

[GBJoker]

I use a picture of the Joker because it represents my true personality, and obviously, one that cannot be used/shown in very many places.

I do not use a picture of myself because I simply do not have one. I have not had a picture taken of myself, in male or female form, in several years. I think the last "real" picture that I was in and was the dominant thing to focus on was... 2001? Some where around there, maybe, I'm not even sure.

Why? I don't like seeing myself. I also don't like other people seeing me. Weird, yes, I know. I mean, how can I go to school without people seeing me? I dunno, I just try to be a ghost that every one forgets within five minutes. Also, it makes shaving a bit difficult some times, but I'm used to it. I don't even look in mirrors. And so, when I log onto this site, the last thing I want to see is myself.

[KelleyG]

Well I'm new to the site and have not really taking any pics of me dressed up yet. I have just talked to my wife about who I am and will be slowly working on expressing my self more and more. when the time is right, I will post :)

[Acastina]

At my age and with my personal history, it's not a big deal to me. My wife met this part of me first and has been fine with it (even supportive and participatory) from day one. Many people in my midsize (100,000 ± population) hometown know as well, and a number of good friends I have come out to swore they would never have recognized me. If someone does, so be it. I don't upload R- or X-rated pics as a matter of discretion, because the Internet IS crawling with creeps.

[JessicaM1985]

I'm an open and honest person, and I'm on a crossdressing forum, so it only makes sense for me to share the pics as well as the stories. I'm cool with you ladies seeing me because I know that I'm accepted her and that this is a relatively safe place to do it. If people see and recognize me from here, then I'd have to question why they are on a crossdressing forum to begin with. Outside of here though, I'm not ready for the whole world to see my girl side just yet. But eventually I'd like to progress far enough to where I'd feel confident to post mye in guy mode so you can see my progression towards looking like who I feel like inside...

[Barbara Dugan]

I think is just a matter of a very personal choice, I like to use my must current pic as my avatar, I've know to use sometimes my male picture a few times .

[Maija]

I don't like the way I look, and I am not out to anyone except my wife. I like the way the woman in this photo looks so....

[Veronica Lacey]

Hi Jess...

Complex answers abound, indeed, but a good query just the same. Here's my own take.

Crossdressing for me is a part time hobby enjoyed in my own privacy and only my wife need ever know of it. There is little to no desire to go public and show the world what I look like if I tried to look like a woman, which I do not try to do any way. I simply enjoy wearing female attire on occasion for personal pleasure and comfort.

As I am 90% male in my mind and would never consider a permanent transition, presenting a photo of myself en femme even in this forum would, to me, detract from my "credibility" as it would be more false than true. It does not serve me on any level to post an image of me in a dress. Having said this I have no desire to post an image of who I really am, which is a male, just as I would not post my full legal name. There appear to be very few - if any? - who post the name from their legal ID here in this forum. Why? My opinion is because it's just not necessary to enjoy and contribute to this forum by posting such info. I feel the same way about the avatar one chooses.

I applaud those who are finding their way to whom they feel they truly are. It would seem that posting a photo of themselves in here is a great vehilce by which to attain such goals whatever they may be. Any which way it is what one feels on the inside that matters most rather than the image they choose to project here or any other place online. Being happy with who one is does not necessarily need to translate to a photo for publlic consumption. If it helps them by posting it, though, then it is perhaps beyond being useful but a true reflection of their reality. I wear panties and suspenders a small portion of my time so it fittingly represents me to show an image of the very panties I enjoy most.

By the way, Jess...I love the photo you have posted here. You look truly authentic and very much at ease with who you are. That is a blessing as much as it is an endeavour. :)

[Sometimes Steffi]

Pretty simple for me. Too chicken at first. But then I found out that the Avatar is public, and shows up in a Google search, while the profile pic is for members only.

[5150 Girl]

My Av is me, Why, a bit of vanity I guess. I also hope that one day I'll be spotted from a sister on this site some day. I wish to meet ohters like me as I've not yet met anyone else.

[PretzelGirl]

When I first got on here, I was unsure of how secure I would feel, so I went with the safe avatar below. After a while, I realized that I was recognizing who's messages I was reading by my peripheral vision picking up their avatars. So even though my comfort came about after a while, I left the same avatar up for a long time just for the recognizability. But I want to play like others, so I now change it now and then. I just won't do it frequently.

172401

[Crysten]

Ive often wondered this.
I dont accept friend requests from cartoons and stock photo users. Some may say this is unfair, but let me explain.
Ive taken time and patience to get my game up to a level as such that Im confident enough to share an image of myself including my face. If you havent done this, then in my head, were clearly not on the same page.
It's not to say I have to support for these individuals, but I feel theres a lack of honesty that comes through when posters dont include an image of themselves.
Ive also noticed that a lot of these particulare users are the ones who start threads of wild, unbelievable adventures and have dozens of you commending them on their efforts...
This annoys me, not to see people doing well, but theres ZERO photographic evidence to prove they actually did what they claimed.
This is the internet, this is a forum and to quote my forum fore-fathers/mothers...
http://straightrazorplace.com/attachments/razors/28705d1249474228-my-%20new-straight-razor-stand-44789.-thread-completely-useless-without-images-1-.jpg

Im not calling everyone a liar, but did you know Im actually a billionaire?
Ive got a Veyron too.

If you havent got pictures, in my opinion, youre not even trying.

Seriously? Ever consider some of us spent a lifetime in the military and having pics of ourselves turn up on the internet would have meant our career was over? Yes many of us are not on the same page as you are. Some of us have pages much deeper and broader than you ever had or will ever have. Way to judge and immediately dismiss entire groups of people out of hand without any real consideration. Your arguement is invalid, you fail.

[JessHaust]

Seriously? Ever consider some of us spent a lifetime in the military ...
one of my new good friends is ex-Marine. Shes really pretty.

[JessHaust]

Please don't stop the replys, but I just want to say thanks.
I really have a much better understanding of all of you.
Your comments have been insightful, well thought-out explainations for what is a very personal decision and i appreciate you sharing with me.

[Regan]

I do not have a wig or make up yet so I am working on posting a picture from the shoulders down. Has anyone posted pictures not in a wig or makeup? Hopefully I will get the picture up in the next week.

[ReineD]

However, I can't help but feel more connected to someone if I see their face. I'm a social butterfly I can't help it!

And that, you certainly are! I see your point. :)

Oh ... and I don't know that the all the way out place is particularly easier than the halfway out place.

Doesn't this sound like text from Dr. Zeuss? :D

[April_Ligeia]

I make my own images in photoshop, and I see my avatar the same way I see clothes and makeup, as art. My photos are definitely idealized images, but I see nothing wrong with that. In my opinion it is all about expressing yourself.

[Eryn]

Pretty simple for me. Too chicken at first. But then I found out that the Avatar is public, and shows up in a Google search, while the profile pic is for members only.

Tried a Google image search using my femme name. Darn, if only I looked as good as some of the pictures it found! Didn't show me, though.

[Badtranny]

Seriously? Ever consider some of us spent a lifetime in the military and having pics of ourselves turn up on the internet would have meant our career was over? Yes many of us are not on the same page as you are. Some of us have pages much deeper and broader than you ever had or will ever have. Way to judge and immediately dismiss entire groups of people out of hand without any real consideration. Your arguement is invalid, you fail.

Whoa whoa whoa Sarge, at ease and whatnot. Is she not allowed to have an opinion? The fact is most of what you read on the internet is mostly BS even on this forum. Many people come here and invent an entire persona because they are so unhappy with who they are. A pic can be faked sure, but as the months go by and face pics get updated you can almost get a sense for who the person is. Your reason for not posting one is as valid as any other, but if she wants to cultivate relationships with people SHE would consider real then what's it to you?

In closing, can somebody tell me why military service is relevant to THIS thread? ;-)

[April_Ligeia]

The fact is most of what you read on the internet is mostly BS even on this forum. Many people come here and invent an entire persona because they are so unhappy with who they are. A pic can be faked sure, but as the months go by and face pics get updated you can almost get a sense for who the person is.


This is a great point. I joined this forum because I love to crossdress and wanted to be part of a larger community. I run my photos through filters and tweak them to the point that I am happy with them, and incidentally I am sure I am not identifiable in "male mode" from my photos. I work for a very big international corporation, so I understand the concerns the military folk have, but I feel that there are ways around it. I do also go out into the world in various stages of crossdress, but the internet is very big and images, once posted, can potentially pop up anywhere at any time. Therefore, even if some want evidence, I will not post compromising photos of an evening out because those photos may circulate FOREVER.

[Fran Moore]

:)


To answer your question Reine, "No they can't". However, I do agree with Badtranny that it is an easier "connection" when you can get some kind of visual "fix" on the person that is posting. One example would be Karren Hutten. That face just goes with her humor and insights. It just wouldn't be the same for me if I knew Karren as a cartoon figure. As for me, I have no fear of posting a real photo, because I too have grown to like this side of me and maybe I'm just getting too old to give a damn what others may think!
If someone is TS and is planning a transition to full time, then I see your point. Eventually everyone will know anyway, it's just a question of time. If they are not planning to transition but they say they are, then I would question their ability to be honest as well.

But, CDers do not plan on going full time. They do have a gender identity that is not 100% female, they have no need to be femme full time including at work (even if it is paramount for them to express themselves on a regular basis), they are not willing to compromise their jobs, their families, or some of their friends. If they've found a way to live in this very difficult "middle place" by keeping their feminine expression under their control (and by this I mean that THEY choose who should know or not know rather than leave it up to a chance disclosure online), then can they be faulted for this?

[barbie lanai]

After reading these, decided I needed to update to a different avatar. This is from a glamor studio photo shoot-back when. The silver "dress" was just a top with no back, to go from customer to customer. Shame I really like the "dress".

[Renee W]

I prefer to keep my pictures in the Picture and Video section, that way only members can see them. As someone mentioned, avatar photos are there for all to see, including anonymous guests (I'll assume this is a true statement, admins speak up if it is not), so I'll keep my photos in the other section so I can semi-control who gets to see me dressed.

For those who say they won't friend someone without a photo avatar, or question someone's story because of their avatar, if you're that skeptical, research the member. See if they have posted in the picture gallery or what other types of threads they have posted.

For a lot of us, there is a certain level of anonymity that we would like to retain for a variety of reasons. Some may feel comfortable enough to post pictures in the Photo Gallery, but not as an avatar. Others may not feel comfortable putting a picture of them dressed out here on the internet at all, I respect that. It does not mean that I don't believe anything they post, I take everything people post at face value until proven otherwise.

[LeaP]

No picture. No avatar. I had the latter, briefly. It felt too contrived.

Regarding pictures, it's all about risk to me (my threshold is zero), and I see little point to a picture that doesn't show one's face. Like some, I do scan for responses from specific people, so I understand that usage. I also understand Melissa's point, though it pains me a bit since I do not use a picture.

Lea

[Fractured]

Life is nothing more than what you perceive it to be. I am fighting giants yet others see me jousting with windmills. My avi is a picture I took of a pewter statue of Don Quixote I purchased on a trip abroad. Set in a forest of grass, he is reading a book while taking a rest during his quest for fighting for chivalry and an era he wished to be part of.

My avi is very personal, even if it doesn't show my face. Any future avi I use will also carry deep significance for me. I hope anyone who is upset that they can't see my face can accept the fact that my face may not be as important to me as the way I feel and the way I wish to express myself.

[Kaz]

Great thread! I don't have a problem with people not posting a photo of themselves, but would prefer that they had some recognisable image that reflected who they are (or they wish they were). The images give everyone a better visual clue as to the person, and this helps in understanding what is written. It also aids ID when combing through threads. Fractured's image is instantly recognisable, and now it has been explained... I get it.

I use a photo because I am probably vain! I wanted to get a good image of me in real life and have previously posted different pics and changed them. It was then suggested to me that changing my avatar messed things up as people do look for what they recognise. So I haven't updated this for a while... but then I don't look any different really.

We all have reasons for being here and we all have our own reasons for what we do. I am here to be Kaz and express this side of me. It seems perfectly natural to show her. Will I be recognised? Highly unlikely and if I am it is by someone who is interested in this world we inhabit. If their reasons for being here are suspect, I really don't care. These people usually show themselves at some point and get bounced.

The photo is Kaz... i.e. me with some make-up and a wig. No big deal.

[jillleanne]

I would like to give an opinion as to why, even though I am not one of them. I suspect some are so far in the closet they are on the next floor of the apartment building. Many are just discovering who they are, many are young, many are afraid, many don't have a camera yet, many just fetish with hose and heels for instance, the list goes on.
I like to change my pic from time to time just because I can and do not necessarily pick a 'best' pic but rather one that fits the mood I'm feeling at the time.

[moondog]

I don't have a picture as a girl...yet. My situation was complicated before these feelings came up, now it's venturing into the unbaerable. Some day soon, I hope, I will have a picture of the real me as an avatar. I'm choosing to not put something else up because I want it to be me.

[NicoleScott]

Lots of good resons have been given for not having a photo, and I have no problem with those who don't want to post one.
In my posts I make no secret that I am a pleasure dresser and prefer to dress and make up in a very over-the-top style. My photos reflect this, and I like to hear from other cd's who are similarly driven and express themselves similarly. I understand that my preferred style may draw criticism (and it has), but it just shows me that some people don't understand that we have different drives and ways of expressing our different drives. Not all of us dress and make up conservatively to blend in public, but rather dress and make up to please ourselves. I get more positive comments than negative, so on balance I consider having a photo online a good thing for me.
As Eryn said, having a photo avatar helps me identify my posts in a thread.

[Sallee]

it is the real me in my avatar. If some one recognizes me please send a note and we'll talk. I figure if some one sees me on this site they're here for a reason. No offense to this site or the people on it but it is not a real interesting site unless you are into CDing. I surf by her lots but I have an interest and I get bored with it sometimes.:daydreaming:

[Prissy Linda]

I have often wanted to show my pictures on the forum, I actually like being seen when i'm dressed. I am extremely fortunate to have a wife that approves and participates, I am able to express my feminine nature around her almost when any time I want to except when our grown children come over. My wife doesn't set many boundaries except that I do not post pictures on the internet, she doesn't like the internet and has seen how it has effected people in a negative way so that is a rule that I follow although I don't really like it, I suppose it's a small price to pay for such an understanding and loving wife (I still don't like the rule dangit) so I won't risk my relationship over this issue.

Linda

[Jenniferathome]

Jess, before I put my picture up, I had three concerns, 1) being recognized 2) I had not come out to my wife and 3) I feared I looked terrible (a dude in a dress). After I came out of the closet, she told me no one would ever recognize me, she can't even see "me" in my girl face, she also told me lowlight pass at a distance. So I jumped in.

[ReineD]

After I came out of the closet, she told me no one would ever recognize me, she can't even see "me" in my girl face, she also told me lowlight pass at a distance. So I jumped in.

Be careful about this. :) I say this because I've been there too. Seeing my SO dressed was such a departure for me from the way he looks in guy mode, that I was also convinced she would never be read or recognized. I hate to say this, but CDers and the wives who love them seldom have objective views on the matter, which when you think of it is natural.

The proof that my earlier assumptions were not true was, it became apparent as we increasingly went out in public, people just seemed to "know". They treat us kindly and with respect, but they still know. Also, a young woman that my SO had befriended in another town (this young woman had only just seen my SO dressed), came to a restaurant in our town with her boyfriend, on a night when my SO was there in guy mode. She immediately recognized him, despite seeing him as a guy in a completely different context. And I have to add that my SO in my opinion passes very well (she and I are similar heights ... she wears low heels and I wear 3-4" heels, she does not wear a wig although in guy mode he keeps his long mid-back hair tied at the nape, he has small hands and feet, no square chin, no adams apple, no beard shadow since he's had laser treatments, etc), although he does look like a guy in guy mode.

[NV Susan]

I'm sorry if some of you think less of me, but I use a cartoon for privacy....This one also represents the cowgirl in me.

[Crysten]

Easy. Military service is the original reason **self edited with apologies** response was to a specific poster on this thread NOT the op.

[JessHaust]

Easy. Military service is the original reason ...edited issue no longer valid.
it was only a question of why you chose the picture you did. Your answer was completely valid, and I'm sure we all respect you for it.

[Karan49]

I'll never post a picture since I enjoy my privacy and feel for my security. I transitioned decades ago. When I consider that I've worked for companies that have employed staff who are deeply religious, others who are bigoted, and still others who are ignorant and uncaring I see good reason not to drop out of my stealth mode.

I've even had a couple of friends who have shared their opinions about transexuals and transvestites. One such instance involved an elderly lady friend who referred to her step son's friend who was transitioning from female to male as "it". I've taken many opportunities to educate her as to how hurtful her remarks would be to her step son's friend. Her step son's friend eventually suicided and I explained that he must have been under extraordinary stress and in much pain to go through the process of transition which obviously alienated so many people. My lady friend knows nothing of my past before transition and I have no intention of sharing it with her.

There are many people I choose to not share this transition with and there are plenty of people who do know. We no longer talk much about it and I really don't see a reason to.

It's interesting to me that before I transitioned I had a big secret, then while transitioning I opened up and shared all of me with just about everyone I knew except my employer, and after the whole transition phase returned to a stealthier mode.

Take care, good thread... Karan

[Lisia]

Just updated mine to replace the old ones that had my face blurred out. Still a bit nervous about my face being on here, but it is slowly fading thanks to all of your wonderful ladies and the gracious compliments!

[WandaRae2009]

It was a promise to my wife that I wouldn't post any pictures where the general public could see. As far a I know the avatar is visible to everyone on the site not just members.

[Misti]

Your picture on this site
The question is for those without a real picture of yourselves, why? Is it simple embarassment of the way you feel you look? Or are trying to express some ideal image that you have assigned to yourself? Or another reason that I have just not thought of? [Yes! :drink:]

Jessi, Interestingly, I've thought exactly the same thing only just recently. Matter of fact, I was going to ask one of my Friends this exact same question, just didn't know how, or when? Now I do, but first I have to finish reading all the posts; that answer may already be here? :D

I'm posting here now so I can come back any time my 'lil 'ol heart desires, so thanks for the thread. :battingeyelashes:

L&R
M.

PS My avatar speaks volumes for me now, but in the very beginning it was an avatar of Lady Gaga.
BTW I'm not Gaga over her, just her figure... :devil:

[Cindia]

Never really had a good picture. Probably need to find some one to take some decent ones. The avatar is definatley something I'd like to resemble

[prettytoes]

I honestly do not have any pictures of myself dressed enfemme. I chose my avatar for a few reasons.
#1- I love the outfit, it is exactly the type of clothing that I like to wear, and I would love to look like the girl that is pictured.
#2- I really liked the quote that was across it...it fit me like a pair of satin panties!
I really have no desire to have pictures of myself dressed. It's just not my thing.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jess, Out of respect for my wife who asked that I not post any pictures.
Nothing to be ashamed of my pictures look somewhat passable for my age.

[PretzelGirl]

I prefer to keep my pictures in the Picture and Video section, that way only members can see them. As someone mentioned, avatar photos are there for all to see, including anonymous guests (I'll assume this is a true statement, admins speak up if it is not), so I'll keep my photos in the other section so I can semi-control who gets to see me dressed.

Always live within your comfort zone. You have to be you. If you aren't sure what non-members can see, there is an easy way. Come to the website, don't log in, and browse around. I won't log out right now to check myself, but I believe you see the M2F CDing, Transmasculine, Trasnsexual, and Upcoming Events forums. Plus you will probably find that you will see the avatars of members, but of course you can't get in their profiles.

[JessHaust]

Hi Jess, Out of respect for my wife who asked that I not post any pictures.
Nothing to be ashamed of my pictures look somewhat passable for my age.

Nothing keeps the peace like respecting your wifes requests! 31 years of marrage have taught me that.
Good for you.

[ME2.0]

I chose to use a real pic because I feel that it's empowering. In every part of my life, I'm "required" to keep Staci a secret between my wife and I, because society can't accept it any other way. This is the one place that Staci can have her moment in the sun. And in public. I feel that when I'm on the forum, I'm among great friends that aren't going to belittle or bash the way I look. Everyone here is special--and beautiful. Maybe some pass better, or look more feminine, but everyone here should feel comfortable about who they are. Be proud of what you are or what you would like to become.

This is the one place that you can get away with being yourself--Don't take it for granted! This is a truly special group of people!

Staci

[Katie83]

Ive often wondered this.
I dont accept friend requests from cartoons and stock photo users. Some may say this is unfair, but let me explain.
Ive taken time and patience to get my game up to a level as such that Im confident enough to share an image of myself including my face. If you havent done this, then in my head, were clearly not on the same page.
It's not to say I have to support for these individuals, but I feel theres a lack of honesty that comes through when posters dont include an image of themselves.
Ive also noticed that a lot of these particulare users are the ones who start threads of wild, unbelievable adventures and have dozens of you commending them on their efforts...
This annoys me, not to see people doing well, but theres ZERO photographic evidence to prove they actually did what they claimed.
This is the internet, this is a forum and to quote my forum fore-fathers/mothers...
http://straightrazorplace.com/attachments/razors/28705d1249474228-my-%20new-straight-razor-stand-44789.-thread-completely-useless-without-images-1-.jpg

Im not calling everyone a liar, but did you know Im actually a billionaire?
Ive got a Veyron too.

If you havent got pictures, in my opinion, youre not even trying.

I couldn't agree more with what you've said. It's so true, i spend alot of time and effort not to mention money trying to make myself look feminine and i am always keen to show any pictures i've taken of myself.
I understand some peoples fears if being recognised, but how likely is that? I look quite different as a woman. And if by any chance i was recognised, why was that person looking for crossdressers on the internet?
Although not many people know i dress, and i don't go out as much as i'd like to i'm proud of who i am and i'm not afraid to show photos of myself.
Katie

[darci.c]

It's because from the neck up I haven't taken a shot that I'm happy with yet. And I always feel like I still need to do a little more work and get one of those lucky angles.

I think I probably will post one soon enough... but it just hasn't happened yet.

[Foxglove]

I couldn't agree more with what you've said. It's so true, i spend alot of time and effort not to mention money trying to make myself look feminine and i am always keen to show any pictures i've taken of myself.
I understand some peoples fears if being recognised, but how likely is that? I look quite different as a woman. And if by any chance i was recognised, why was that person looking for crossdressers on the internet?
Although not many people know i dress, and i don't go out as much as i'd like to i'm proud of who i am and i'm not afraid to show photos of myself.
Katie

Hello, Katie! You look great in your avatar, and I can certainly understand why you're proud of who you are. But I think a lot of girls on this thread have given very valid reasons as to why they don't post pictures of themselves. I really don't think you should judge other people's circumstances by your own. Perhaps we should let each judge what is best for herself, and where there are good reasons not to post pictures, perhaps everyone else should try to understand that.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Suzy Parker]

Knee jerk response to a particular item.

I guess if some don't want to friend up with people who post stock, cartoon, or no images that is up to you. It just seems a bit discriminative, sort of like judging the book by its cover. There are lots of long time posters in here who are nothing but genuine, supportive, and caring to members who do not have pictures of themselves on the cover. I feel lucky to have some of them as friends. I personally think the content of a persons posts are more important than a photo (which could be easily faked).

As Forrest Gump would say:

"Thats all I have to say about that"

Suzy

[Alisa]

Hi Jess, My avatar along with my signature is kind of a statement... Although no one has ever commented +/- I have never been able to bring myself to change it. I do have a head shoot in my profile. Be interesting to see how other respond here... Most seem to like the real photo avatar and have to admit that it is more friendly and helps connect with the girl posting. Always enjoy the Huttonmeister's avatar offerings as they seem to capture her personality very well. It's a talent. Alisa.

[Arrows27]

As I am very new to the site still, I havn't been able to figure out what kind of avatar I want to go with... chances are I'll use a picture that I've taken somewhere, (photography is a hobby).

[sometimes_miss]

But there are still lots with a cartoon avatar, graphics symbol, or a stock photo of some beautiful girl. The question is for those without a real picture of yourselves, why?
There is still a huge percentage of the population that has quite a low opinion of crossdressers. Whether you experience it or not, lots of people make life more difficult for us, behind the scenes where you may never see it. They make fun of us, see us as less important than 'normal' people, and in some cases, actively do mean things to us such as what you see in the news about physical attacks against people who dare to cross the gender line. So, I stay in the closet. And I overhear lots of negative remarks over the years about crossdressers. I saw two medical doctors note in their charting that the patients they were treating were sexual degenerates. That stays in your permanent record, by the way. You may never see it. But every person involved in your medical care, including everyone in the insurance companies that cover you, can read that about you. Who knows, it may affect your being hired, or even your credit rating in some way. Sure, it's technically illegal, but word of mouth can be the little thing you never hear about that is the final strike against you.
My ex wife blackmailed me during our divorce, getting everything she wanted, or she would have made my crossdressing public to everyone.
So, I never put up a picture anywhere of myself that can be connected to crossdressing in any way. I am very, very careful not to give even potential online dating partners a picture until I am absolutely certain they will not out me; there are online sites where women can put up a file about men who have 'done her wrong', along with a picture of him. So any woman who for any reason, could put up my pic should I even temporarily make her angry with me, and her review simply stating that girls should be aware that I'm a crossdresser before becoming romantically involved with me. Then BAM, I'm on the net openly as a crossdresser. So no thanks, I won't be putting up a picture of crossdressing Lexi any time soon.

[JessHaust]

Sometimes_miss,
Well it really sounds like you have had some real pain. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
But, Crossdressing is not a sexual degenerate and any doctor who labels anyone as one is wide open to lose everything in court. I doubt any respectable doctor would risk it.
I know that you have to be true to your own values, but if someone tried to blackmail me with exposure, I would just rip the rug out from under them and tell everyone myself.
It's your life, own it.

[Patsy]

Well I agree.You only put a clearly identifiable picture on the net when you're ready to come out. I would also state that if you're intending to go stealth even this is too much. I know it's difficult, as a female, not to display, but if you're intending to get that special guy, then keep it special, just for him. Believe me, the guys appreciate it.

[Rachel Renee]

I was completely against the idea of posting a picture for the longest time. I'd say to myself "no way in hell would I ever", but my feelings have slowly changed. I find that as my wardrobe and makeup skills improve, I am more anxious to share. I get all done up to the nines but no one ever gets to see me. This is why I ultimately decided to post my avatar. I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of posting pictures here and more will eventually come. I honestly doubt anyone would recognize me, anyway. I could probably e-mail my avatar pic to my mom and she'd have no idea that it was me. Hrmm.... I sense an experiment coming on.......:D

[Vale]

Some of us have legitimate reasons we need to stay in the closet. I suppose I could post a pic of myself dressed but with my face hidden, and I may do that some time, but somehow I don't think that will satisfy the spirit of this thread.

By the way, while facial recognition software is not currently good enough to do some of the things our governments want, it is good enough to pick my face off a web quality photo in spite of the best fem makeup and wig work I can do. If you have both drab and fem photos on the web be aware.

[RachelOKC]

I'm a little late to this thread but like one or two others, I'll simply state that what you see is what you get. Those here who know me in person will attest to that.

[GBJoker]

Finally caught up with this thread again...

So... Those who aren't using real images of themselves are seen as ever so slightly lower than those who, according to a few posts on here, OR (don't be quick to judge), they are not seen (obviously, scroll down the page as fast as you can, see which posters you recognize as you hit the bottom at full speed)... One, that explains a lot of why I seem to be a ghost, and two... Those posters just answered their own questions/thoughts.

[ReineD]

GBJoker, if it means anything, I don't have a hierarchy of who's more valid vs. not, based on their avatars. I know that some members are concerned with privacy. I also know that some members might not feel they look as feminine as they might like.

I tend to put much more stock in what they write. :)

[Allisa]

Never liked my picture taken,very few pics of me from childhood to date,some for security reasons ,some for government,and I beleve one no two with a police department.If someone does not want to friend me because I don't post any pics then so be it if you don't believe my treads than no biggy.Quite frankly I do not come to this site to get approval from anyone.And there is the security thing cause once it is on the internet it's there for the ages.

Lisa.

[JessHaust]

Never liked my picture taken,very few pics of me from childhood to date,some for security reasons ,some for government,and I beleve one no two with a police department.If someone does not want to friend me because I don't post any pics then so be it if you don't believe my treads than no biggy.Quite frankly I do not come to this site to get approval from anyone.And there is the security thing cause once it is on the internet it's there for the ages.

Lisa.

I understand not wanting your picture taken, I have a daughter who absolutely hates having her picture taken. Irony here, she is about to graduate college with a photography major!
But I disagree that you dont come to this site for approval. We are all here to get some approval by our peers. It is the primary draw of this site, to be able to read about and ask questions to other CD/TG people, it helps us feel not alone.

[Badtranny]

I'm a little late to this thread but like one or two others, I'll simply state that what you see is what you get. Those here who know me in person will attest to that.

Um, I don't want to call you a liar, but I HAVE seen you in person and I will NOT attest to that. You happen to be prettier in person.

I'm sorry, but you know how I am about honesty.

[danielletorresani]

My pic is of myself but I can't reveal my face. I'm way too paranoid that someone I know might spot me. I definitely prefer to keep this part of my life compartmentalized from my normal life.

[sometimes_miss]

Sometimes_miss,
Well it really sounds like you have had some real pain. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
But, Crossdressing is not a sexual degenerate and any doctor who labels anyone as one is wide open to lose everything in court. I doubt any respectable doctor would risk it.
I know that you have to be true to your own values, but if someone tried to blackmail me with exposure, I would just rip the rug out from under them and tell everyone myself.
It's your life, own it.

NO thanks. I went through my childhood with a target painted on me (for another reason), I don't need to go through life being 'a boy named sue' and having to get into fights for the respect I deserve. I just want to be treated like everyone else. I hate to tell you, but despite the feel good attitude here, being a crossdresser isn't a highly respected behavior. I don't see anyone ever telling the world 'Hey, MY friend/father/brother is a Crossdresser!'. Don't see any women proudly proclaiming it about their mates, either. It'll get you about as much respect as coming in last in the special olympics if you're a normally abled person. So as much as I understand everyone here's desire to have self respect, I don't understand why anyone would like to do anything which could make their life more difficult; and like toothpaste, once it's out, there's no going back in. While technically you're now right, professional mental health workers don't consider crossdressing the disease state they used to, the average person on the street DOES consider us perverts.

[JessHaust]

NO the average person on the street DOES consider us perverts.

Yes, but I could care less what the average person thinks. Either they accept me or they don't, it's no skin off my teeth.
I think that the entire underlying message on the forum is - Enjoy who you want to be, not what you think everyone else thinks you should be.

That said, I really do understand your reservations. I was terrified that anyone would find out for 50 years. But now that people do know, I realize that I was tormenting myself, nobody else really cares.

[AllieSF]

I have to disagree. The average person on the street does not consider us perverts. Based on my experience they may think we are different and maybe even weird, but not perverts. And as Jess says, I really do not care. It is their problem not mine, because I can and do exactly what I want when dressed out in the real world.

[Misti]

OBTW Lisa and Jess bring up a couple of points I neglected to make in my earlier post. Thanks, girls.


Never liked my picture taken, very few pics of me from childhood to date.... And there is the security thing, cause once it is on the internet it's there for the ages. Lisa.


I understand not wanting your picture taken, I have a daughter who absolutely hates having her picture taken. Irony here, she is about to graduate college with a photography major! But I disagree that you dont come to this site for approval. We are all here to get some approval by our peers. It is the primary draw of this site, to be able to read about and ask questions to other CD/TG people, it helps us feel not alone.

Can't stand my male pics at all; never have, never will. MOF I don't even like to look in the mirror for that very same reason :Angry3: - when I do, all I "ever see" is from the shoulders down, which I approve of very much BTW. Period. :daydreaming: Except,of course, Misti's pic. "Now that's a difference," as Mick would say? "Viva La Difference!," as they say in France. :devil:

Actually, I meant to post the second pic... sorry 'bout that! :D

[ReineD]

The average person on the street does not consider us perverts. Based on my experience they may think we are different and maybe even weird, but not perverts.

I agree with this. I seriously doubt the average person feels threatened in any way if and when they read my SO and I. Some don't care, some might be intrigued, some may be OK with it as long as they're just looking at a stranger and this isn't someone who will date their daughter. If they do judge, they will keep their opinions to themselves because they know they'll never see us again anyway! :)

It is the people who are closer to us who will have stronger opinions, the friends who may or may not invite us to their next party, the work colleagues who may feel uncomfortable, or the family members who stand to disapprove the most for a variety of reasons.

[HannahF6]

I use a real photo of myself. I'm also afraid of being recognised, so the picture is from some distance away.

One of the first posts showed a picture of her shadow. I thought this was fascinating and have done some shadow pictures of myself. I remember the first time I noticed my shadow and how feminine it looked, I was entranced and started taking pictures of my shadow.

Hannah

[Suzy Parker]

Knee jerk response to a particular item.

I guess if some don't want to friend up with people who post stock, cartoon, or no images that is up to you. It just seems a bit discriminative, sort of like judging the book by its cover. There are lots of long time posters in here who are nothing but genuine, supportive, and caring to members who do not have pictures of themselves on the cover. I feel lucky to have some of them as friends. I personally think the content of a persons posts are more important than a photo (which could be easily faked).

As Forrest Gump would say:

"Thats all I have to say about that"

Suzy

Well I guess that is not all I have to say, I need to add to my other post.

AS for the Original post, I do not post a real image for many of the reasons already stated so I won't belabor those. I do not pretend the one I do post is me and I have had a disclaimer above my avater since i've had it.

Something else has got my Ire up and i'm not even Irish. It was mentioned in a post (and who posted that is not the issue) that by not posting a real image that there was a lack of honesty. BULL. Let me repeat that, BULL. Sure there are those who hide behind their anonyminity and pretend to be something they are not that do not have a real photo but I guarantee you there are also people posing behind photos that are not them. To make a judgement based only on a photo is a choice I guess people can make but by calling people that don't post a real photo less honest is a slap in the face in my book.

When I first started on this site I tried to make as many friends as I could, I thought I needed to do that for some reason. One of those who did accept me as a friend took me aside and gave me some good advice that I took to heart. It was something like "This site is not a about a popularity contest, it's about connecting with others and building friendships with others in our community". I purged and basically started over.

I make my decisions for friending based more on the content of their posts versus a photo. I find that the book is way more interesting than the cover.

I think another good point would be also that this site is not a beauty contest either. I come here for the conversations and discussions but mostly to have fun. Threads that seem to just put labels on people or cause hate and discontent I usually steer clear of.


Sorry for venting but once my Ire is up I either vent or explode.

OK, this has been way to serious, I think I will take a trip down to the trivia section and unwind a little.


Take Care Everyone.............


Suzy

[Starr]

A fried had a photo of me doing drag at a Halloween party posted on the wall in his office, i could be standing right there beside the photo and people would ask him who that was in the photo...sometimes even who that girl is in the photo.. at that point it was plain to me most people would not know me if they saw me dressed. i recently even changed my photo here from the one with me and my wig to one of just me and my real hair. while it is long in boy mode i wear it back in a ponytail and most would never think it looks like it does when i style it and comb it down. So those who know me could look at it and still not see me.. so i really don't worry about. Also i am getting more open about being a CD so i guess i don't really care as much anymore either..

[ThisIsBob]

Well, my avatar is a photo of me, and I'd prefer it to show all of me, but until I change jobs, it has to remain a low-res photo with the face blurred. I figure this is the best compromise I can accomplish just now. Living in an at-will employment state, in an extremely conservative town within that state, and working in a job where I occasionally interact with children... it's just not worth the risk to my career yet. Once I'm more comfortable with my femme face (hopefully soon!), I may post a better face shot in my profile, but the avatar will have to stay anonymous for the time being.

[JessHaust]

?.. in an extremely conservative town within that state,...

I would never encourage you to jepordise your job, and of course no one knows better than you what is best in your situation.
That said, I always thought that I lived in the heart of convervativeism, home of George Bush jr. , Dallas Texas!
You know we Texans hang you for reading the wrong books!
But you know what? After very little research on the web, I have discovered that the Dallas/Ft Worth area has one of the largest and most artive CD/TG communities in the country.
In the padt I always dreamed of spending a weekend in New Orleans, so I could go to CD friendly places. (and I still love New Orleans), but its easier to find CD's and places to socialize with them here!

[Mrs Roads]

Hi everybody,
This is a simple question to ask, but I expect some complex answers!
We all have supplied a picture to represent ourselves. A lot use real photos of ourselves, and most are I think like mine, one that you feel presents yourself in the best possible light.
But there are still lots with a cartoon avatar, graphics symbol, or a stock photo of some beautiful girl.
The question is for those without a real picture of yourselves, why? Is it simple embarassment of the way you feel you look? Or are trying to express some ideal image that you have assigned to yourself? Or another reason that I have just not thought of?

For me, my avatar represents the ideal image of the woman I wish I was born as and strive to be in whatever way possible (even taken her last name :) When I feel I have her look perfected (I'm still very new at this) and gain more confidence I will post a picture of my true womanly self

[ginafaye]

i really enjoy my dressing but its just for my wife,so im pretty private on the web ,but very open and honest about everything. and i just love the look of my avatar

[Andy66]

There are a handful of people on this website who have seen my real picture, and one who I have met in person. They can tell you that unfortunately for me, I could never in a million years pass as a genetic male. I identify as a transman, but my outside does not match my inside at all. I don't want to confuse people, I already get called "girl" often enough with a masculine looking avatar and male name. *sigh*

The other (and more important) reason I don't post a real photo anywhere on the internet is because of all the potential weirdos, and other IRL people who I don't want to have too much information about me, mostly my crummy ex-in-laws.

[whiteboy101]

I thought about posting a picture for my avatar, but I am still reading around and seeing how non-cd's who browse this site are viewed.

[Ava Tryptyk]

Back in 2010 I had a bunch of pictures that I took while dressed en femme. I made a MySpace account where I added some of these pictures, but I edited the color settings on the pictures and blocked out the face so that they would be unrecognizable if anyone whom I knew happened to stumble upon the page. I know that few people (and practically no one in my circle of friends) use MySpace, but still, I prefer to be safe than sorry. I still have some of those pictures, but since my face is not even visible it seems pointless to put them up.

So for now I'm settling for this cute doll image I made last week with a doll creator. I saved the file to my computer and then added this little light green background and black border in Paint. If I had been born as a girl I would have liked to look similar to this. I think it's a cute kind of look but also attractive...it's the kind of girl I'd like to date but also to be, if that makes sense.

[Andy66]

I thought about posting a picture for my avatar, but I am still reading around and seeing how non-cd's who browse this site are viewed.
It depends on your (perceived) motives, and how respectful you are. :raisedeyebrow:

[Crissy Kay]

Even though I am a part timer, I am pretty happy with my look enfemm, most of the time!!!

[STACY B]

HELL IM TO OLD TO WORRY !!! I JUST LET THE CHIPPS FALL WHERE THAY WILL ?? But I guess everyone is different . How will ya know how good or bad ya look dressed if no one ever sees ya ?? So maybe thats something to think about ?? But if they do see ya then they know an its PARTY TIME ,,,, Cats out the bag then ya mite make a whole bunch of new friends ??? Hell everybody always thinks that something bad is always going to come from this ,,, You already know that we are all over the place so the ones you worry about mite just be one of your own friends just waiting for you to make the first move ??? :thumbsup::thumbsup: Any how tell em this :tongueout:tongueout:tongueout:tongueout:tongueout

[paula123]

i use my real picture still tring to figure out how to post new pitcures they heep saing somthing about re sizing

[Jenniferathome]

Be careful about this. :) it became apparent as we increasingly went out in public, people just seemed to "know".

Reine, I totally agree that context could link girl me to boy me. My wife and I never go out together in my small town. If someone saw her with me, it would be logical to being to associate all the common links we have in our memories. I could be identified then. But without the context, ie alone, I am 100% certain that no one would identify me. Again, the context of makeup, wig, clothing is so different from the male me, it just couldn't happen. They may see a "crossdresser" but that's it.

[msginaadoll]

I have picture(s) of me online and as my avatar. Some dont. There are losts of reasons, including privacy issues as well as lack of tech knowledge. It realy doesnt mattert to me too much. Im here to interact with others and most of us wil never meet so it doent matter too much to me. I just try to accept people for who they are here. I took down my pics at another site for a bit, because of the attitude that some posted, no pics no chat. My opinion was then i dont want to chat with you if you feel that way. Just my 2 cents.

[evadan]

I don't have any photos to post. Unfortunately, I have few opportunities to dress, much less time to attempt putting on make-up. I'm just waiting for the time to fully dress with make-up, and hopefully get some shots. If only I could talk my wife into doing my make-up...

Eva

[DeSkirt]

I chose a picture of how I would like to look. I do not have any pictures of me dressed, mostly because I could not pass but partially because I want to keep somewhat anonymous.

[Beth Mays]

I really do know I do pass (as a guy in a dress).. but yes the picture you see here is real, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.



Beth
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