Taking Things Too Seriously

[linda allen]

Lately there have been some pretty heated arguments on this forum. Arguments that tell me that people are taking themselves too seriously or have little tolerance for others.

I started a thread a couple months ago, all in fun, about a genie giving us a choice of body parts. Now pretty obviously, at least to me, it was a fun thread, something obviously make believe and not to be taken too seriously.

For the first several pages, it went pretty much as I had planned, then some people apparently became upset with the theme of the thread and/or some of the posts. Insults were posted and names called, and I see now that someone demanded that the thread be closed and the moderators did in fact close the thread.

Life without dreams and fantasy would be pretty boring. You're born, you work, you die. I would wish and hope that people could lighten up, have fun with life, and allow others to have fun the way they want to as long as they are not hurting other people. Isn't that what we crossdressers are doing here? And GGs - how about letting us have our fun. Where else can we go with our fantasies?

[kellycan27]

Nothing wrong with a little fantasy, but keep in mind especially when it comes to gg's,wives and SO's They may serve to add to the insecurity that they may feel with regards to their partners dressing, acting, looking,talking and parading around like a woman. While it may seem like just a lark to you, it may seem deadly serious to them. How would you feel if you read a post where your wife was saying that she was fantasizing about having sex with another man?
Yeah.. this innocent fantasy thing never harms anyone, that's why there are so many blissfully happy stories of acceptance posted on these boards! Go ahead and have your little fun, it's your right, but don't be surprised if it comes back to bite you in the ass, and don't think for a second that it it harmless. There a lot of GG's on this board that try their hardest to accept what you do, and try to be supportive, and you have the balls to tell them to lighten up and let you have your fun?

[donnasweetheart]

If you don't like what the thread says, stop reading close it and move to another, each to thier own

[Eryn]

...especially when it comes to gg's,wives and SO's They may serve to add to the insecurity that they may feel with regards to their partners dressing, acting, looking,talking and parading around like a woman. While it may seem like just a lark to you, it may seem deadly serious to them.

That was exactly my thought, and my wife and I have discussed this thread. It isn't "harmless fun" when it brings distress to our loved ones.

It would have been more appropriate to post it to the GM forum. That is why the GM forum exists.

[docrobbysherry]

I think I remember that thread, Linda.

"Which would u prefer if u had to choose? Your nose or your toes!?"

I wasn't among the responders because I couldn't decide! And I thot, who here cares about my big nose anyway?

[GBJoker]

It would have been more appropriate to post it to the GM forum. That is why the GM forum exists.

/thread


Stuff.

First question: Eh, not likely. My imaginary girlfriend Megan Kusanagi is madly obsessed with me, much like Harlene Quinzel is, so I've no worries.

Second question: Exactly. Refer to first quote.

Of course, my being the Joker, I have to say this... How about all the couples sit down one evening and tell each other ALL of their fantasies. Then let it go from there. Just remember to thank your dear ol' Uncle Joker when it all works out exactly how I wanted it to.

[linda allen]

Nothing wrong with a little fantasy, but keep in mind especially when it comes to gg's,wives and SO's They may serve to add to the insecurity that they may feel with regards to their partners dressing, acting, looking,talking and parading around like a woman. While it may seem like just a lark to you, it may seem deadly serious to them. How would you feel if you read a post where your wife was saying that she was fantasizing about having sex with another man?
Yeah.. this innocent fantasy thing never harms anyone, that's why there are so many blissfully happy stories of acceptance posted on these boards! Go ahead and have your little fun, it's your right, but don't be surprised if it comes back to bite you in the ass, and don't think for a second that it it harmless. There a lot of GG's on this board that try their hardest to accept what you do, and try to be supportive, and you have the balls to tell them to lighten up and let you have your fun?

This is a forum for crossdressers. It's what we do. And we discuss it with each other.

I don't understand why a GG would join the forum and then post that crossdressers are perverts or doing something wrong. It would be like a PETA member joining a hunting or fishing forum.

[Katyana]

WOW, drama, now there is something I never thought I would see on a forum site.

If your SO isn't enough for you, then be strong enough to tell them and move on in life. I have my fantasies, but I do not feel the need to share them with the world. I made the decision against my better judgement to join this site because of issues like this, but my SO is making a significant effort to understand everything surrounding what I do. For CD's and SO's alike....we are all not the same....we do what we do for different reasons....so I ask that you please do not include me into your category of "we" when talking about expressing sexual fantasies and the like.

[Josie M]

I think I'm with many of the others here....I don't want to restrict you from asking questions like this "just for fun". I totally get that it wasn't intended to be taken seriously. That being said, you still have to realize that not everyone will "get the joke". SO's who are trying to be accepting of their crossdressing partners and T-people who wish they could just express themselves as they are without being thought of as perverts cringe a little when they see this post in the open forum.

That question would be great for the GM forum. It's out of view of SO's who might be put off by the question (even though it was only intended in jest) and those in the GM forum who aren't interested can just ignore it.

So, I don't wan't to tell you not to post it...and all of us are guilty at one time or another of trying to do something in jest that winds up hurting or offending someone (I know I've done that). I'm just suggesting we should treat the open forum as "G-Rated".

[moondog]

I can see where a GG would get upset reading about her SO wanting a vagina. Personally I thought it was just a little fun thing to imagine, no harm in that.

[eluuzion]

Well, you know what we have to do here...right?

Yep, we have to do it...

Go on...push the button...you know you want to, :heehee: It is the right thing to do.

www.dramabutton.com

:D

there, now we have the right background music...

Ok, ok...if you kids don't settle down, I am going to pull this car over and give you all something to cry about. This is a vacation...! There is a Stuckey's exit in 7 miles. If you want a pecan log roll, you better shape up! hey, stay on your half of the seat!...and quit singing!!!

I can never be serious about life.
No...Seriously, I can't. lol

and I never apologize...
I'm sorry, that is just me...lol

:hugs:

:love:

[LeaP]

Life without dreams and fantasy would be pretty boring. You're born, you work, you die. I would wish and hope that people could lighten up, have fun with life, and allow others to have fun the way they want to as long as they are not hurting other people. Isn't that what we crossdressers are doing here? And GGs - how about letting us have our fun. Where else can we go with our fantasies?

A fantasy life apart from my wife? Not for me, and I fully understand why SOs would be threatened. I'm reminded of an old expression about flirting - guys are just kidding or having fun ... until someone takes them up on the offer.

I can and do ignore threads that cross certain personal lines. Their presence in the forum have consequences, though.

Lea

[moondog]

eluuzion,

I pushed the button. Have to admit I always wanted my own theme music.

[Karren H]

Personally I think a little drama is very entertaining! Lol.

[Sammy777]

Nothing wrong with a little fantasy, ........
This is a forum for crossdressers. It's what we do. And we discuss it with each other.

I don't understand why a GG would join the forum and then post that crossdressers are perverts or doing something wrong.
It would be like a PETA member joining a hunting or fishing forum.

I'm sorry, maybe I missed it .........
But where exactly in her post you quoted did Kelly call out CD'ers as perverts?? :rolleyes:

[kellycan27]

This is a forum for crossdressers. It's what we do. And we discuss it with each other.

I don't understand why a GG would join the forum and then post that crossdressers are perverts or doing something wrong. It would be like a PETA member joining a hunting or fishing forum.

Yes this is a forum for cross dressers, but it's also a forum for their SO's .. support for "both". As I said in my first post.. you do have the right to post your fantasies, and I never said that you shouldn't. I am merely suggesting that you take you take into consideration how these fantasies may affect your or someone else's SO who may be joining this forum in an attempt to see what this cross dressing thing is all about in order that they may be able to try and understand their partner's cross dressing. From all of the posts regarding acceptance it is pretty clear that a lot of SO's really have a problem wrapping their head around their man dressing up in woman's clothing, now add these fantasies about having breasts, vagina's, or being treated as a woman in the bedroom. What's a girl to think? You may also take some of your fellow cross dressers into consideration. The one's who don't have such fantasies, and who don't wish to have their SO reading about such things simply because the fantasy is not an aspect of their dressing. I never suggested that you were doing anything wrong or perverted, nor did I suggest that these fantasies were wrong or perverse... That might be your take on it.. I don't know.
As for you PETA analogy... Someone in PETA may join such a group in order that they may gain an understanding of the "other" side. How things are presented may give them a different prospective... positive or negative.
Contrary to what you may think, I am not against you or what you do. I am trying to make you see that these fantasies may not help your cause. Eryn suggested that these fantasy threads might be better suited in the GM section. Wouldn't you agree that posting them in an area where they are not accessible to EVERYONE might be more prudent?

In regards to you comment about a gg posting: If that was directed at me, I'd like to thank you for the lovely complement. :heehee:

Kel

[~Joanne~]

I'm new so I never saw this post but the GM board is probably the best place for it.

On the other hand I also agree that if a thread isn't for you or crosses lines that You have drawn for yourself, don't read it further, don't comment, and just move on. Every CD here has their own lines and they vary.

From what I have read here to date, very few mind you but it does appear here and there, there are some GG's and SO's that seem hell bent to find anything to try and prove that your choices in life are wrong and to use these posts against you at a later date at their time and choosing.. This is, however, just the feel I get here and there and my own opinion.

I have a question though, I understand the SO's being here, to find support, gain an understanding, and so forth but why are GG's here? This subject of cross dressing doesn't seem like it would interest a GG at all and if it does.....why?

[ReineD]

...especially when it comes to gg's,wives and SO's They may serve to add to the insecurity that they may feel with regards to their partners dressing, acting, looking,talking and parading around like a woman. While it may seem like just a lark to you, it may seem deadly serious to them.

That was exactly my thought, and my wife and I have discussed this thread. It isn't "harmless fun" when it brings distress to our loved ones.

It would have been more appropriate to post it to the GM forum. That is why the GM forum exists.

:yt: My thoughts exactly.



This is a forum for crossdressers. It's what we do. And we discuss it with each other.

Please read the tag line under the logo: "THE #1 COMMUNITY FOR CROSSDRESSERS, THEIR FAMILY AND FRIENDS".

Realistically, this means their wives, since so many CDers are closeted and they don't tell their extended families or their friends & coworkers ... or even their children.



I don't understand why a GG would join the forum and then post that crossdressers are perverts or doing something wrong. It would be like a PETA member joining a hunting or fishing forum.

There's nothing wrong with being a CDer. But, a wife (especially if she's new) does get upset when she sees threads encouraging the fantasy of wanting vaginas or breasts. You've been here long enough, I think, to know that the CDing progresses from the time a young CDer might start out wearing just panties. I'm sure you also know that CDers often take years to get out of denial over what they really want, of if the fetish aspect of it is what drives their desires to be women. Is is so hard for you to understand that a GG who does not live inside a CDer's skin might not readily "know" the difference between a harmless, "fun", fantasy, and a real desire that a husband might not want to share with his wife?

Linda, you haven't started this thread out of sour grapes, have you? Or perhaps you enjoy the controversy, as if it is fun for you to keep this going, rather than try to understand how the wives of your friends here feel when they read such threads?

I'm keeping this thread up in the hopes that other members here will help explain things to you and there can be a calm discussion about this. But, if it gets into another battle about the purpose of this forum, if it is a place for fantasy vs. a support environment, and it disregards the very real issues that many of the wives (and their husbands) face when they try to wrap their minds around how the CDing will fit into their marriages, I will close it.



My wife doesn't know about my "hobby".

You posted this the same month as you started your breast vs. vagina thread, in August 2011. If your wife had just found out and she had joined this forum for support, do you think you would have started the thread?

[kellycan27]

I have a question though, I understand the SO's being here, to find support, gain an understanding, and so forth but why are GG's here? This subject of cross dressing doesn't seem like it would interest a GG at all and if it does.....why?

GG's are women, and I think that just about all of the gg's that do join this site do so because cross dressing has become a part of their world in some fashion like having a partner who cross dresses. It probably wouldn't be of interest to a gg who hasn't a dog in the fight. People may read the threads out of curiosity. A neighbor of mine once left a ladder up against his house and another neighbor climbed the ladder and fell off. He sued the owner for his injuries and won his case. I believe that the court ruled leaving the ladder up against the house an "attractive nuisance". Go figure. :eek:

[linda allen]

OK, this is the post that set (I would rather use another word) me off:


It's not about your "shop talk", or "pissing in the snow", or whatever it is men do when they get together...

It's the complete failure in the realization of the sexism in this thread.

Is this the most sexist thread on this forum? Not quite...but, it's up there. As a WOMAN, my body parts are not your ornamentation. They are not things to be chosen, as if you are picking them out of a f*cking Crate and Barrel catalogue.

Ridiculous. What the magic genie should have done was given you a free pass to a class in feminism.

Go figure it out and get back to me. The right mindset would probably help you "pass" in many more ways than choosing between magical tits or a magical vagina.

I think it was uncalled for. Harsh and nasty for no reason. A lot of people seemed to have fun with my post. Over twelve pages of mostly fun responses. Then came the above. It wasn't "sexist" until this person said it was.

That's my post, that's my feelings on the subject, nothing anyone says will change that.

[LeaP]

I have a question though, I understand the SO's being here, to find support, gain an understanding, and so forth but why are GG's here? This subject of cross dressing doesn't seem like it would interest a GG at all and if it does.....why?

Because they are usually one and the same. Perhaps you don't understand GG? Genetic Girl, i.e. natal female. The typical CD's SO is his wife or girlfriend.

Lea

[Crysten]

I've tried to have some fun on this forum as well, and I'gotten shot down enough times that I'given up on it. Wouldn't want to upset anyones delicate sensibilities now would we. This forum is as it was designed, so everyone please get back to reading your "When was the first time you wore panties" threads like good little girls thank you very much. It keeps the moderators happy. And the soon to be ex-wives minimally horrified, aparently. Meh, whatever.

[ak88gurl]

I'm one of the younger and newer CD's to this forum still, but felt compelled to say something. I saw the "genie" thread a while back and to be honest it made me a little bit uncomfortable even as another CD because it had me wondering if some of the responders really CD's or TS. Not that there's anything wrong with being a TS, but I didn't understand why someone who's still mentally a man would want a vagina or breasts..... it seems to be walking the line between CD and TS, and I can see why that would concern wives and girlfriends about their husbands.

Now, I also understand it was supposed to be like a joke thing, maybe some of us are just misinterpreting it, but that said I don't think it should be on a forum that is made for support. I have a lot of TS friends who tell me this joke all the time of, "What's the difference between a TS and a CD? Two years!" and to them it's just a joke, and again I reiterate there's nothing wrong with being a TS, but I'm something different altogether and I feel this kind of talk on a forum for support skewers ideas of what we're all about.

[Miranda-E]

There is only one acceptable answer two the 2 most asked questions to make people feel safe.
Do you want the be a woman and are you gay. that answer is NO.

That thread shattered a popular illusion for many.

[~Joanne~]

GG's are women, and I think that just about all of the gg's that do join this site do so because cross dressing has become a part of their world in some fashion like having a partner who cross dresses. It probably wouldn't be of interest to a gg who hasn't a dog in the fight. People may read the threads out of curiosity. A neighbor of mine once left a ladder up against his house and another neighbor climbed the ladder and fell off. He sued the owner for his injuries and won his case. I believe that the court ruled leaving the ladder up against the house an "attractive nuisance". Go figure. :eek:

Thank you :) I guess I should have worded my post better. I was curious as to why a GG who wasn't a CD'ers SO would be interested in this forum ;) I guess there could be many varied reasons :)

[~Joanne~]

Because they are usually one and the same. Perhaps you don't understand GG? Genetic Girl, i.e. natal female. The typical CD's SO is his wife or girlfriend.

Lea


No, I understood GG stands for genetic Girl and that SO's were "special others". My question wasn't worded correctly but thanks for the answer in case a few readers didn't know. it is useful information :)

I just wondered what a GG would find interesting about this forum but the answer is varied :) Thanks again ;)

[Tamara Croft]

So you get your thread closed and then start up another one about it being closed.

1. This forum is NOT just for crossdressers, read the title like Reine suggested.
2. Your thread was out of control and not just for one post and I know who posted that and she was entitled to her opinion.
3. And now this thread is being closed before it turns into yet another flame war.

[ReineD]

Darn, Tamara, you closed it just before I did. I'm still going to say what I was going to say though ... it needs to be said:


I've tried to have some fun on this forum as well, and I'gotten shot down enough times that I'given up on it.

Crysten, no GGs posted in your two threads that were deleted, in fact your threads had nothing to do with issues that concern wives. Your threads were deleted because you did not post according to forum rules and it looked as if you were pushing to boundaries to see what would happen and treating this place like a joke. As to your other threads, I see one where you posted a personal issue, and the posts from the GGs were supportive although one didn't sympathize with you. This is the internet after all, and if one person disagrees with you this does not constitute an entire thread of members or mods who shoot you down.

The rules were developed here to cater to the segment of CDers who wish to have a supportive environment to post in, as opposed to the hundreds of titillating sites out there that cater to the fetish CDer. The rules were not developed "to please the mods". We work for you, not against you. Believe it or not, the majority of our membership appreciate the safety this place provides.

Please try to keep it in perpective. I'm responding to this because I hate to see false statements being made, without saying anything.



I think it was uncalled for. Harsh and nasty for no reason. A lot of people seemed to have fun with my post.

You can't post stuff that is controversial and expect the loved ones to just kick up their heels in joy, when the content of the threads is painful for the reasons that I patiently explained in my post # 18. I don't know if you realize this, but there were several divisive treads started in this forum as the result of the breast/vagina thread and others like it that made it clear to everyone here these are divisive topics.

I'm actually surprised that your thread lasted as long as it did (5 months) without having the people who are here for non-fetish reasons say anything to you. But, still your thread was closed because of that post and a few others, and this was the sanest thing that any moderator or admin can do under the circumstances.

On this note, if you started this entire thread because you don't like the attitude of one particular person, then I recommend you contact this person via PM to discuss it. The M2F section is not a place to air out battles between two people.

Thread closed.