No bad intentions ..

[Lucy_Bella]

I can understand the " Straight " , " Bi " and " Gay" labels and how some feel it is brought up to often... Please don't get me wrong this is not an attempt to bring it up again for all the wrong reasons.. Sexual preferences are nobodies business as I am sure most here do not care who is attracted to what.

But keep in mind we do have other members here that are concerned , I can speak from my past marriage experience it was my wives biggest concern.. A lot of us here are very defensive because of that reason and not because of any one persons sexual preference personally..

It doesn't make it right because some here do dress and have a desires to be with a male or even fantasize about being with a male to then assume everyone else here feels the same ..( not that there is anything wrong with that and not all think that way ).. I believe that most who defended a few recent post about the subject have reason to defend but didn't make any negative remarks to those who are comfortable with their own sexual preference.

I know I am secure with my sexuality but when it comes down to my cding and people confusing it with my sexual preference I will correct them because I am use to a life time of defending it ( but not for the wrong reasons )..It's automatic for me.. This is a very honest answer to those who find my defending my sexual preference NO OFFENCE to yours :).. We are a community and we can co exist with out offending one another, unknowingly..

Am I alone?:straightface:

[Marleena]

Lucy, you're right I don't care about others sexuality, or preferences, and I don't say that to be mean.:)

I think most if not all Cders are tired of the first question after being found out, "are you gay?" That goes without saying.

I'm going to avoid any threads about sexual fantasies as somebody always tries to label somebody else. A fantasy is just a fantasy. If you say you're straight somebody says you are trying too hard to convince us. It's a no win situation as far as I am concerned. So best bet is to avoid any of these type of threads.

[Miranda-E]

There does seem to be an agenda of shouting down the existence of Gay and Bi CDs here though. The statements about male SO's are flat out vicious at times.
Gender identity and sexual preference are separate and it works no matter what that sexual preference is.

[docrobbysherry]

----------------------------------------------------
It doesn't make it right because some here do dress and have a desires to be with a male or even fantasize about being with a male to then assume everyone else here feels the same ..-------------------------------------------------------
Am I alone?:straightface:

In my 4+ years here I don't ever recall ANYONE saying they, "----assumed everyone here wanted to be with a man"!:eek:

Where in the world did u get that idea?:straightface:

[Marleena]

Sherry : Post # 125 I bet.. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?167360-Will-someone-please-explain

[Lucy_Bella]

Lucy, you're right I don't care about others sexuality, or preferences, and I don't say that to be mean.:)

I think most if not all Cders are tired of the first question after being found out, "are you gay?" That goes without saying.

I'm going to avoid any threads about sexual fantasies as somebody always tries to label somebody else. A fantasy is just a fantasy. If you say you're straight somebody says you are trying too hard to convince us. It's a no win situation as far as I am concerned. So best bet is to avoid any of these type of threads.

I agree , like I said I hope everyone understands that this post is not to ruffle any feathers but to openly discuss .. I just wanted to let all know that I am sorry if I seem to over defend my "straightness" as far as sexual preference goes.. Not to offend any other sexual preference in doing so.. My intentions in doing so are not for the wrong reason's and before I reply on another " Sexual thread" I will think outside the box keeping respect to those other than mine in mind..

[docrobbysherry]

Sherry : Post # 125 I bet.. http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?167360-Will-someone-please-explain
Thanks, Marleena. I HAVE seen plenty of threads about that theme. I've even started them myself!

But, unless u can point to one particular post, I stand by my claim! I've NEVER seen anyone here write they, "---assume EVERY CD wants to be with a man"!

And, I think it's malicious to even print that here!

[Marleena]

Sherry post 125 was malicious enough for me! Talk about speaking for the majority of CDers there..sheesh.

[TxCassie]

Well, ladies, I really don't know how to address this issue. For those who do not know, I am a gay male in my male world. I have no confusion about it, never did since I was 12yrs. old. In addition, I've always love to dress en femme. Now this cause me a great deal of confusion and pain because being gay, I automatically question my masculinity. The dressing added to the question to the nth degree. Many gay men frown upon, look down on other gay men who dress because they have a fanatical desire to distance themselves from anything feminine because society often says gay men want to be women. Gay men who dress just proves this myth. Most gay men do not like to dress, nor do they want to be women. The truth, most crossdressers are hetrosexual males. Gender, Sexuality, are two different things. While my own personal situation is a strong comment on my masculinity, my gender identiy, my sexuality, and where I see myself on the spectrum. But it's a comment on mine alone, no one elses. It is because of my own unique position that I respect, am in awe, and find the transgender woman (used in the general fashion), fascinating and incredibly brave. I believe no one should be regulated to a less than valuable person that makes up the tapestry of our existence. Ah humm, I guess I did know how to address this topic... :heehee: Cassie

[Lucy_Bella]

Many gay men frown upon, look down on other gay men who dress because they have a fanatical desire to distance themselves from anything feminine because society often says gay men want to be women. Gay men who dress just proves this myth. Most gay men do not like to dress, nor do they want to be women. The truth, most crossdressers are hetrosexual males. Gender, Sexuality, are two different things. While my own personal situation is a strong comment on my masculinity, my gender identiy, my sexuality, and where I see myself on the spectrum. But it's a comment on mine alone, no one elses. It is because of my own unique position that I respect, am in awe, and find the transgender woman (used in the general fashion), fascinating and incredibly brave. I believe no one should be regulated to a less than valuable person that makes up the tapestry of our existence. Ah humm, I guess I did know how to address this topic... :heehee: Cassie

I think you nailed it for some Cassie in the "Gender Spectrum " It's what took me awhile ( and I am still working on it ) to be a little more sensitive in my wording especially when I am defending my sexuality .. I could be offending others in doing that , we have a large spectrum here and writing with blinders on can be offensive ..

[ReineD]

It doesn't make it right because some here do dress and have a desires to be with a male or even fantasize about being with a male to then assume everyone else here feels the same ..

Oh, I don't think that "everyone else here" assumes that all CDs are gay or bi, or have fantasies about men. Except perhaps *ONE* admirer, but I dare say this is wishful thinking. lol Please don't take one or a handful of posts and believe the rest of the membership feels this way. :)

We've had thread after thread of CDers who are clear they are hetero. We've also had threads specifically inviting the gay CDers to post, and these threads (although fewer) have been well attended.

I guess it's all in the manner that the OP is worded. If the question is "Who here is gay?", then the gay members will answer. If it is "Who here is hetero?", then the hetero members will answer. If anyone should take hours upon hours to analyze and parse all the forum posts going back years, they would find that the heteros far outnumber the gays.

I haven't seen anyone slamming anyone else for their sexual preference. Just that the non-gay members get fed up with the few members who assume that *all* CDers are into men. Another complication are the posts from straight CDs who say they fantasize when dressed, and people take the fantasy as being a fait accompli. The thing is, put them in a room naked with another guy and then have them come back and say how it went. I'm guessing you'd hear an entirely different attitude.

[Rianna Humble]

Thanks, Marleena. I HAVE seen plenty of threads about that theme. I've even started them myself!

But, unless u can point to one particular post, I stand by my claim! I've NEVER seen anyone here write they, "---assume EVERY CD wants to be with a man"!

And, I think it's malicious to even print that here!

Sherry, Marleena has already pointed you to a thread where a well-known troll makes EXACTLY that claim in post 97, then because no-one was biting, he expanded upon his calumny in post 125.

I don't believe that the majority of people here think anything of the sort, but when an SO starts reading and sees the troll's claim, they are left wondering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reine, I think the worst for me are those who seem to feel the need to preface almost every remark with "Well I'm not {sexual orientation of choice}". TBH I don't care if someone is gay/straight/bi or any other orientation so long as they don't try to ram that orientation down my throat when it is not even the subject under discussion.

[Lucy_Bella]

Thanks Reine,

I really started this to make our Gay members aware( that for me anyways ) it's not a slap in their face when I defend my sexuality .. I have seen a few replies on such threads to where some ( not saying all) members have found it offensive that straight CDers defend their sexuality and it's not meant that way.. I will for one, try to be a little more sensitive ...

[ReineD]

Well Lucy, I don't believe the gay & bi CDers feel slammed for their sexual preferences. It's a free world. And I also know from some of my son's friends who are gay, that it is difficult for many gay men to accept they ARE gay. We just don't live in a world that embraces this fully, although things have improved considerably in the last generation. :)

[JessHaust]

While I'm straight, I have gay friends, and hang out with Bi and gay Crossdressers. They are just as much a person as I am.
Really is far more fun to have some diversity in any group.

[Lucy_Bella]

Well Lucy, I don't believe the gay & bi CDers feel slammed for their sexual preferences. It's a free world.)

I know but this is a diverse site, a year or two ago I wouldn't have even cared if I offended anyone.. Not going to mention the thread , but there was a few comments going on in it relating to " Hey whats wrong with being Gay?" because everyone was so quick to defend their straight preference( including me) .. I am just looking at this as if the shoe was on the other foot..

[Regan]

Lucy,

Thanks, It really should not matter what your sexual preference is, yes I came here to help me totally accept that I am a cross dresser and I need support. At the same time I am working on accepting that am gay and I need to make some major changes in my life. I also hope to actually meet some great ladies from this site who will be life time friends where we can have fun and support each other. Even with the disagreements I need you ladies more and more each day. Thanks and love you all

[kimdl93]

Assume nothing. Although I have had bi experiences as a young adult (never en femme, btw), I have lived in a monogamous, heterosexual relationship for the majority of my adult life. That being said, relatively few individuals on this site make any assumptions or judgments about others' sexuality. Most of us are well aware that sexual preference, gender identification and the propensity to CD are really three separate things.