Is this strange? Advice please?

[Windy]

I don’t feel a burning desire to change my male body.

I would like to, but realising it is a want, rather than need, makes me wonder. From what I’ve heard most transsexuals have “always known” they are living in another body.

Whilst I’ve admired women and empathised with them for a long, long time, I’ve been more or less comfortable as a man for many years. I was never screaming because my body was wrong. Its never felt exactly 100% right living as a man, but I’ve never really thought about “being a man”, so much as being “masculine”.

Most of why I’m transitioning is due to a want to be feminine and different to the male persona which annoys me, and at the same time living as a woman excites me sexually. In addition, I want to deal with women’s problems and engage in girly activities and even (if I could) carry a child.

I suppose the question I’m wondering is am I really a transwoman?

I could be gay…but that doesn’t seem right for me. I'm attracted to men, but not in the same way that gay men are. I want to transition (and indeed I've applied for HRT starting soon) but at the same time I’m petrified of making a choice that I’ll regret…but I’d want to make one soon and know for sure for the rest of my life.

Any help girls?

[Inna]

Therapy hon, therapy!!! A well rounded transgender specialist will listen and provide you with direction so that you can answer that question your self. No one else but you...unfortunate fortune that takes pain and sorrow and occasional joy on the path to the truth.

[SandraAbsent]

For me, once I accepted myself it was clear what I needed to do and why. Its not always so clear to others and this is really where a therapist comes in, and more specifically a gender therapist. This is my biggest advice. Most things in transition are not permanent until it involves surgery. Even some of the effects of hormones, but not all, are reversible. I can only speak from what others have told me regarding this, as I have not started hormones despite being full time. I cannot however imagine starting anything medical without a therapist, not because I need to figure out what I am, but because I see the need to have someone help me manage what will be happening to me.

[Danni Bear]

Windy,

no the feelings you ask about are not strange or abnormal. most if not all have experienced them to one extent or another at various times. Inna is correct in telling you to seek a gender therapist. tell him/her all your feelings, good,bad or indifferent regarding what you want or feel you need to do. HRT after about 2 months makes irreversible changes to your body that there is no going back from. Be sure that you want and need those before you even start. this may seem cruel but really it isn't. modifing your body by chemicals or surgery is not a game.believe me when I say take your time and get help.

Danni

[EnglishRose]

I cannot and will not tell you what is right for you. However, I will say that the thought that you "had to know" since your earliest memories was one of my biggest stumbling blocks. Don't let that get in your way because it isn't true.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Windy,

This is where a therapist comes in handy.

Wanting to transition and needing to transition are worlds apart.

I have met those that have successfully transitioned based on want as opposed to need.

They seemed happy and well adjusted.

I highly suggest seeking the help and advise of a therapist to assist you in making the right choice for you because after all it's your life and your choices.

Above all don't be afraid to be honest with yourself no matter what that turns out to be Windy.

Be well sister


Julia

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You need to spend alot of time with transsexual women and crossdressers...compare notes, make observations...be willing to be honest with yourself..

there is no rule that says you need to have known since you were a child..i didn't
There is no rule that says you need to hate your penis so much you want to cut it yourself...i didn't
having sexual feelings is common among both transsexuals and crossdressers...

so there is no easy answer for you..
the only rule is to be honest with yourself...there is a fun and thrilling part of expressing your true gender that can be similar to the fun and thrilling part of escaping your gender (what cd's do)...
it can get quite confusing depending on your own experience and self dialogue...

that being said, you sound like you are not focused very much on the actual benefits of transition...you should have a healthy fear of transition and what it entails..

I'd urge you to not rush into this...wanting to make a decision puts you in a bad position to make a good one...

and what the heck are girly activities?? this comment sounds like its more of a fantasy....

[Dana7]

Windy,

no the feelings you ask about are not strange or abnormal. most if not all have experienced them to one extent or another at various times. Inna is correct in telling you to seek a gender therapist. tell him/her all your feelings, good,bad or indifferent regarding what you want or feel you need to do. HRT after about 2 months makes irreversible changes to your body that there is no going back from. Be sure that you want and need those before you even start. this may seem cruel but really it isn't. modifing your body by chemicals or surgery is not a game.believe me when I say take your time and get help.

Danni

I agree with Danni. A professional opinion, or several opinions should be sought before making a permanent, life-changing decision. Seek a gender therapist whose opinion you can trust, and whom you can count on to be objective.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I agree with Danni. A professional opinion, or several opinions should be sought before making a permanent, life-changing decision. Seek a gender therapist whose opinion you can trust, and whom you can count on to be objective.

i know this may sound argumentative but I am a fan of therapy....I am not a fan of a therapist being z gatekeeper or telling one of us that we are this or that....a "diagnosis" of transsexuality is just an opinion...you need opinions, but a therapist opinion should not trump anything

[Danni Bear]

i know this may sound argumentative but I am a fan of therapy....I am not a fan of a therapist being z gatekeeper or telling one of us that we are this or that....a "diagnosis" of transsexuality is just an opinion...you need opinions, but a therapist opinion should not trump anything

Kaitlyn,

I never said a therapist should be a gatekeeper, only that a therapist should be used to find yourself. I myself have been seeing therapist/psylogists/psychatrists since I was 14 for my own GID and other issues. So yes I believe therapists are a necessary evil, just be careful and use care in what they tell you. They can only help if you are honest with them.

Danni

[ameliabee]

I never had a great deal of dysmorphia either.

I had the exact same line of thought about four months ago. To be frank, I feel as though a lot of them, those who claim that they have always known they were living in the wrong body, are outright lying, or at least disguising the truth. When I was little, I didn't have problems being told that I was male. I didn't care - I was quite peachy with my Easy-Bake oven, taking dance classes, treating Pokémon figures as though they were dolls, and avoiding my less gifted peers. As I thought to myself in middle school - "I'm okay with being a guy, I'm just really confused about why guys don't act like gals - it would be so much better if only they would..." I realized I was trans months afterwards, at which point I repressed it and it only resurfaced in the spring of 2011. Methinks it's more a matter of knowing that you're 'different', as my mother likes to put it.

Here's a question for you: suppose that you met a group of people who have only seen you as female. Would you ever want to be seen as male in front of them again?

Start living as a woman if you want to know so badly. You'll know if transitioning is worth it to you soon enough. You don't even have to go full-time - just consistently present as female around a given group of people. (I'm assuming you pass on a daily basis as well as you do in your profile pic.)

[Danni Bear]

Here's a question for you: suppose that you met a group of people who have only seen you as female. Would you ever want to be seen as male in front of them again?

Start living as a woman if you want to know so badly. You'll know if transitioning is worth it to you soon enough. You don't even have to go full-time - just consistently present as female around a given group of people. (I'm assuming you pass on a daily basis as well as you do in your profile pic.)

Konkbent,

are you asking if you meet a group as male or female? personally no matter how I'm dressed i'm always female even before transition.

Danni

[noeleena]

Hi,

Being .....a female / woman is a lot different than acting out what it would be like or trying to be a woman. no matter what i wear im still a woman from birth I S..so i did not have a say in what i am. Now then how do you see your self not body wise thats not the issue , what is is how you see your self think interact with others & how you grow as a person , you see i did not have to learn how to be a woman it was there,

Many of us wether I S , trans or others know from very young for many its how they work through thier own issue's,

And just to change & still ? your self well now, what am i saying your not sure not really so as we'd say back to the drawing board to look at every thing about your self haveing help go for it, , it still comes down to rock bottom ......you...... you,,,, must ,,,,know

Your 4th section im wondering what you mean in your 4th line ,,,why....I have done that for 37 years, & im still doing that,

As a woman i know what we go through there are of cause some things i cant , it allso depends on how you are wired mind wise .= Emotions ,

Differances between men & woman are very different .

Many men do not understand woman & why we are the way we are. so its not a learned thing its a born thing part of who we are,

Girl'e things activitys , do you mean being a member of womens groups spending lots of time with them talking about things that concern us done that & doing that,

Another point is being accepted , as a person & then as a woman well that'll be up to the women in the groups so how will you show that to them. oh & this is ....women .... only. no males in our groups , thats about acceptace from woman .

I will say you are being very honist here,

to be femmine, youll do far better than i much better . & from looking at your pic . im accepted not on looks , its by being a woman.
not a complete one tho still a woman ,

all the best in what you do, dig real deep in side your self & get to know who you are. youll have a long time of regret if you dont .

dont let others tell you just let that come from you. & theres no hurry just enjoy your self finding out .

...noeleena...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Start living as a woman if you want to know so badly. You'll know if transitioning is worth it to you soon enough.


This is good advice too..

Just do it as they say...

[Jorja]

Who are we or anyone for that matter to say what is strange? I agree that going to a therapist is a very good way to sort out your feelings. Take their reccomendations into account when trying to make the decision of whether or not to transition. Thiers are not the only opinions you should count on though. Ultimately, it is your own opinion that really matters. As mentioned, living as a woman for a year or two is a good indicator and will tell you most of all if this is what you really want/need. After getting all the information as to what can be done and what is really possible for you, you need to be brutally honest with yourself. Do you or don't you want to become a woman? Only you can make that decision.

[Melody Moore]

Noone here is in any position to judge you and I can only endorse the advice that you have already
been given. See a therapist, get involved in a transgender social support group to help you work out
where you really fit in. Some transsexuals don't experience high levels of gender dysphoria, whereas
others do. As Jorga said live full-time and see how you feel. I put myself through this same type of test
to be sure about my decision before even starting on hormones. Whatever you decide is something you
have to live with for the rest of your life. So go slow, don't be in any rush and get all the help & support
you can. Goodluck.