Coming out: How I did it.

[Courtney_Glenn]

It's not easy, I'm not going to pretend that it is...but these are some of my experiences that may help a few folks. I'e arranged these in order of difficulty.

FRIENDS: Ironically enough, this was the last group I told, and it was by far the easiest. All I did is say "promise you won't freak out" and proceeded to show them a pic on my phone. My female friends were impressed of how well i pulled this off, and my male friends weren't bothered a bit. one of them even said "why would I care, Eddie Izzard is a transvestite too and he's one of my favorite comedians!"

Immediate Family (Mom, Sisters): Yes I grew up in a single parent household as a middle child of two sisters....which may explain a lot actually...My little sis still lives at home with my mom and I broke the ice the exact same way as with my friends. Well received. My sis did initially laugh, but she is young (barely 16). My mom even bought a slew of outfits and makeup for Christmas...talk about embracing, huh?

My older sister didn't receive it as well. first of all, she found out behind my back due to gossip. She thought it was a secret from my mom and sent her a long text message trying to convince my mother that something was wrong with me. my mom let me know...I called my sister...and essentially...we don't talk anymore. She has been on her "I'm better than you" horse for years, so good riddance.

This, for the record, has been my ONLY negative feedback

My Wife: This was the VERY first one I came out to. I did this long before we were married. I did this very meticulously though a series of different conversations. this is a little chart of the conversations we shared over the span of about a month


This is it something I did once as a child -"Okay no biggie"

This is something I did a lot as a child - "awhh, that's cute"

This is something I did as a teen - "lol, so"

This is something I still do every now and then - "why would I care"

Okay, I do this a lot still - "you act like it's a big deal",

"Because it is" ,

"would you care If I walked around wearing dude clothes?",

"No, but It's more than clothes, my brain doesn't operate like most guys." ,

"And that is why I love you."


True story.

If I've helped at least one person, that would make me feel awesome. Coming out was, and continues to be, one of the most intimidating things in my life, but it has been so rewarding. I feel as if my chains are broken and I am free to live my life however I see fit.

Take Care :)

[Debra Russell]

good job in coming out--- good outcome-- your wife is awesome, congradulations.....................Debra

[Persephone]

Great post, Courtney! Terrific info! And congrats on your coming out!

I've been coming out to a bunch of people lately and I found it to be pretty much as you described.

My spouse has known since before we were married and has been very accepting and supportive throughout our married life.

My older sister seems to be in "Don't ask, don't tell" mode. She simply doesn't want to know.

As a former salesperson I always knew that after the pitch you stop and wait for the response since that response will be the most unconscious and the most telling of all. So after we told each couple, usually over a nice dinner, the first response has almost always been "but we're still friends, right?"

They were worried that my crossdressing would take us away from them, rather than the other way around! Most have gone on to tell their children so that they will be aware as well. Since I am not full-time, most would prefer to keep the relationship with "him," but at least they are prepared for someday running into me.

Then there was yesterday when we were getting together with a woman who has been out with me en femme and her teenage daughter who has never met me en femme. When we arranged lunch the Mom said, "Let's make it a girl lunch, O.K.?"

So we did!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[DanaR]

Hi Courtney, welcome to the forum. Very nice story.

[Marleena]

Great story Courtney! It would great if everybody had as good of luck with it.

Are you a youngster by any chance, under 30? It seems this new generation has a little easier time with gender issues.

[vikki2020]

Nice post, Courtney! Glad it all worked out well for you. It's nice that we keep hearing more stories like this, and giving the rest of us a little more confidence to do the same! Welcome to the forum!

[JessHaust]

This Post should be mandatory reading for everyone on this forum. (and all crossdressers in general)

The things you describe are exactly what I have experienced. We all are initially so afraid of what other people will think of so that we terrify ourselves, with no real reason.
I know that there are some wives who can't get their head around the idea, but most do and will if you give them the chance. Family is the same and friends are usually the easiest. My friends act like I have just given them access to a cool new world.

Congratulations Courtney on coming out, and thank you for posting your story.

[kimdl93]

What a great post. Thanks for sharing your experience. My then gf's (now wife) reaction was a little more surprise, but no revulsion or rejection. she asked the usual questions and we got on with our lives, now going on 14 years!

As for family, I was outed by my x wife some years before remarrying. Very few asked about it and no one has ostracized me for being a CDr.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Great post! Thanks for sharing. I hope this is how it goes for me. I find I'm spending a lot more time on this forum - trolling for stuff like this. It's all ammunition to help me come out. Thank again.

[Tracii G]

I have a small circle of friends that I came out to and they are OK with it no problems at all.
Any women I have been out with in the last few years I have told them up front 99% have been cool with it.
Found an old friend on FB and we have renewed our friendship after 20 +years and I told her of my TGism and she has been very accepting and wonderful.
Sometimes its best to just get it out there and let the chips fall.
True friends it won't matter to them.

[JessicaM1985]

I've been coming out to people myself, and a couple things that I've found to work well:

-If they've only ever known you in guy, come out to them completely on guy mode. No makeup, no painted nails, nothing. Just the guy look they've only ever known you from. If they've only known you as a girl, come out to them while in girl mode for the same reason. Basically it helps minimize the shock factor the person you're coming out may experience.

-Once you come out to people you live with, don't go crazy right away. Move in stages and steps when around them. Maybe just have only your nails painted when around them at first. After a while add another thing to it, and so on. People are REALLY adverse to sudden change, and they will be up in arms if you go from guy to girl overnight.

-In the case of S.O.s, honor any agreements and boundries to the letter. Be clear and 100% honest about what your goals and intentions are with the crossdressing and respect whatever decisions your SO makes regarding their comfort level with it. The harsh truth is that some pwople are more accepting than others. Like with playing poker, you can't control the hand you are dealt, but what matters most is how well you play the hand you are given.

-I do keep pics of Jessica handy and I offer them the chance to see if they want, but tell them that if they'd rather not, that is okay too. Most of the time curiosity has gotten the better of them, and they look. I've even gotten comments where people say I look much better as a girl. :lol:

Those are the best tips that I have for now. I hope they help those that are trying to xome out. I'm the furthest thing from an expert on this, but these things have allowed me to have zero negative reactions thus far. *knocks on wood*