Peeked out of the closet

[GingerLeigh]

So much for taking it to my grave.
I finally did it! I never thought I would but I did. I told my SO about my crossdressing. You know what happened then? Nothing! No tears, no guilt trip, very few questions, and a simple "it's weird but OK." She is way more supportive than I would have imagined. She even seemed relieved! I've never been an advocate for jumping out of the closet, so I imagine there will be surprise among many here that I told. I had to do it. The future stability of my marriage as well as my health demanded it.

There is no more anxiety, no mood swings, and no hiding. I now have a totally open marriage. My wife seems happier now than ever, I guess my fresher outlook is contagious? It took awhile to soak in and for me to process this all but I AM SO HAPPY now!!!!!!!


Ginger

[Foxglove]

"it's weird but OK."


For me, those are beautiful words. I wish that's what the whole world would say about CDing. Mainly because I think it's the truth.

I'm glad things are better for you now, and I hope they always will be.

Annabelle

[jillleanne]

Good for you Ginger. Now remember, this is a totally new world for her, not you , so go slow and keep the lines of communication wide open. Be prepared to answer questions honestly from here on in, and again, as Toyota once said, " OH! What a feeling!!! "

[JamieG]

That is great news! Kudos to both of you. It sounds like maybe she already suspected you were hiding something from her. Being a CD is far better than cheating in my book. Try to be extra perceptive of her feelings and encourage her to tell you if she has any concerns at all. Sometimes our SOs try to hold their fears inside to keep from hurting us, and when they finally let go, it might not be pretty. Don't take her for granted!

[GingerLeigh]

That is great news! Kudos to both of you. It sounds like maybe she already suspected you were hiding something from her. Being a CD is far better than cheating in my book. Try to be extra perceptive of her feelings and encourage her to tell you if she has any concerns at all. Sometimes our SOs try to hold their fears inside to keep from hurting us, and when they finally let go, it might not be pretty. Don't take her for granted!

Thanks, good advice. I never take her for granted, no husband should. She is very special and I'm lucky to have her! As for the crossdressing, I am letting her initiate things and answering questions as honest as I dare. It's hard to sense how she feels, she can be so enigmatic. I guess most women are. I was a bit uneasy after I told her because we never really discussed it afterwards. I was expecting a BANG but got a fizzle instead. Seemed like a non-event. It seems as though she already has the answers.

[Jenniferathome]

Fantastic!!! Remember, you still have to talk about it. Allow her to set limits. It only gets better

[PretzelGirl]

Good for you Ginger! I am glad that although you aren't an advocate for coming out, that you were able to do so and have a good experience. Life is going to be different one way or another. Hold on to your seat and may your best and loving thoughts for your wife come true!

[JenniferR771]

If she gives you an inch...will you take a mile? Cds tend to progress to more and more feminine appearance. Beware of the pink cloud--it blinds you, and is self-centered, you can forget about her. Study ReineD's comments.

[Tanya C]

Congratulations for doing the honorable thing. I have a lot of respect for cders who voluntarily tell their SO's about their cding. And I think you'll find that your honesty and her acceptance will ultimately strengthen your relationship.
But keep those lines of communication open.

[Launa]

Well congrats. Good for you and good to hear!

[Valerie Louise]

Wow.
You know the feeling you have when you go to the beach, you know the water is cold, and then someone jumps in, and is having a good time? You KNOW you are going to go in, and you have a positive example before you. But, that water's cold ... you just know it is ... so you stand there ...

You just gave me the positive example for telling her.
Now its up to me to get in the water too.

Wow. I am so impressed. Congratulations, you have earned your happiness.

[Janelle_C]

That is so great Ginger I'm very happy for the both of you. I know that took a lot of courage becouce there was a lot on the line. But with great risk comes great rewards.:daydreaming:

[DanaR]

Congratulations, that is very cool. Take good care of your wife.

[Lucy Furr]

If she gives you an inch...will you take a mile? Cds tend to progress to more and more feminine appearance. Beware of the pink cloud--it blinds you, and is self-centered, you can forget about her. Study ReineD's comments.

This is great advice. Be sure that you remain the person she fell in love with. Congrats on taking a huge step!

[JessHaust]

Congratulations! You have just joined the lucky club (those of us lucky enough to have an understanding SO)

[darci.c]

Haha... I can imagine the conversation went something like this:

"Baby, guess what? I'm a cross-dresser. Whew... glad I got that off my chest."

She: "That's it? Whew... when I found a pair of panties here I thought you were cheating on me. Glad they're yours!"

Lol.

[dominique]

Great news. But be aware the first flush of acceptence can be wonderful, she might change her mind some time down the line. That's when the questions might come so be very careful. It can happen any time.

[dbweb]

Ginger, you are so lucky to have a great wife like yours!

Do not take for granted that she will allow you to openly follow your desires now, as it will take a lot of time and understanding to fully accept what you have told her.

Take it slow and respcet her boundrys, and I am sure your luv for each other will allow this to flourish as well.

Dee

[Arrows27]

So much for taking it to my grave.

I'm only 24 (nearly 25 now) and sometimes I wish very much to tell someone... anyone... but other times I am very glad I'm the only one who knows. I applaud your courage for telling your SO though, I know at this point in my life I do not possess that will power.

[GingerLeigh]

Thanks everyone for your support! It is here at this site where I overcame my first major hurdle (shame) and for that I am TRULY grateful. Without this I would have never been able to peep a word.

Now as I initially stated, I have never been an advocate for telling. Telling is not for everyone. There is no "one size fits all" method for coming out successfully, and not everyone has an SO that is as open minded (like I do). Never let anyone tell you you are less than noble for keeping your crossdressing to yourself. It is a choice, nothing more.

As for me? I HAD to tell. Keeping this form my wife was becoming detrimental to my health and marriage. Taking it to my grave meant an early one and it was better to be a divorced dad (if it came to that) than a dead one. As good fortune would have it, I get my cake and eat it too.

There is so much good advice here such as,

Ginger, you are so lucky to have a great wife like yours!

Do not take for granted that she will allow you to openly follow your desires now, as it will take a lot of time and understanding to fully accept what you have told her.

Take it slow and respcet her boundrys, and I am sure your luv for each other will allow this to flourish as well.

Dee

Absolutely true! Right now though, we are in the preliminary stages and no boundaries have been set. I am patiently waiting to get them. Going slow is tough, but that's what I'm doing. I need to let all this soak in and that will take time. Our love has always been strong, it somehow feels stronger now than it ever did though.

And this...

dominique

Great news. But be aware the first flush of acceptence can be wonderful, she might change her mind some time down the line. That's when the questions might come so be very careful. It can happen any time.


This is my big fear. She's cool now, but the real big questions haven't really come yet. I preemptively answered the serious ones like, "I don't want to go public with this", "I'm not gay" and "I don't want a sex change". This seems to be enough for now.

Even more..

Lucy Furr

Quote Originally Posted by JenniferR771 View Post
If she gives you an inch...will you take a mile? Cds tend to progress to more and more feminine appearance. Beware of the pink cloud--it blinds you, and is self-centered, you can forget about her. Study ReineD's comments.
This is great advice. Be sure that you remain the person she fell in love with. Congrats on taking a huge step!


Thanks, and I have been studying ReineD's sage advice very carefully. I will go as far as she allows, and push only when I must. The pink fog has lifted right now for whatever reason and yes it absolutely is self centered. Knowing this will hopefully allow me to see through it the next time it appears. I continue to be the man she married, nothing changes in that regard. I continue to put her needs ahead of mine as I always tried to do. That's just being a good husband.


Oh this is getting too long and I know many here hate long posts. There were so many good points, so again thank-you all for the kind words!

Ginger.

[kimdl93]

Sounds as though you're well prepared to deal with whatever ups and downs may come from your revelation. Just keep being the person that you are, regardless of how you're dressed, and enjoy the fact that you no longer need to hide!

[Marleena]

Congrats Ginger! Mine went similarily the same way. She sees the attitude change in me. I'm easier to be around. We laugh about my fondness for "pretty" things that was never in my vocabulary before.lol. She has a shopping friend now and encourages me.

Just be aware our new found excitement can be a bit much at times. Don't overdo it because she'll have bad days where she won't want to hear about it, learn to cool it on those days. Take your time with it and enjoy, you are very lucky.:)

[CDPheobe]

Right on. Im glad I opened up to my SO. Makes the personal life so much easier. Congrats!

[Teri Ray]

Congradulations. I agree with comments above. Having your wife know you dress and knowing she still loves you is a blessing. I know I dont understand why I have this passion so its easy to understand how confusing this passion is for your wife. Make your best effort to to not push your wife to accept more than she is willing.

best wishes

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ginger, You are one of the lucky ones.

[patti1569]

Great news. But be aware the first flush of acceptence can be wonderful, she might change her mind some time down the line. That's when the questions might come so be very careful. It can happen any time.

This was my experience. OK at first then not. My advice is to take it VERY slow. Try just talking about it with her first and express how it feels for you. My ex-wife was always worried that I was gay and wanted to be a woman (very common fears), so expect those questions down the line. Don't push anything on her or force her to participate until she comes to you first. Be open and honest, but remember in relationships (successful ones anyway) there are always compromises.

Congratulations on coming out to her and enjoy your new relationship! It is a brave step in fully living your life! Make sure she knows how lucky you are to have her and let her know she is the BEST!! xx Patti.

[Presh GG]

Hi

Please remember to be kind and listen to what she maybe ISN'T SAYING.
Don't get mad if she asks the same question more than once [ I ANSWERED THAT ALREADY !] Maybe your first answer doesn't match what she sees or feels.

Please remember This is the scaryist time in your lives together. Just as you may change , so may she , so treat her like the lady she is.. She can't read your mind.
Ask her if she has any questions if you think she's struggling, this is all new to her. Maybe she doesn't know what to ask , so please be patient.
One last thing, She needs people in her life other than other cds so be supportive of her welcomeing cis-gender people into your lifes and home. Don't play the reverse prejudice game I've read/ seen so much. She really needs friends too.

My Opinion
Presh