Confidence

[jennacda2]

I was just curious if anyone would share advice on building confidence enough to go out dressed. I have very low self esteem when it comes to mustering up the courage to go in public dressed. I haven't yet taken that step but I really want to.

-Jenna

[kellycan27]

I was just curious if anyone would share advice on building confidence enough to go out dressed. I have very low self esteem when it comes to mustering up the courage to go in public dressed. I haven't yet taken that step but I really want to.

-Jenna

I don't there's any advice other than.. it's a giant leap of faith, and to just take a deep breath and do it! Be aware of your surroundings and be safe! Best of luck.. you can do it!

Kel

[Claire Cook]

Hey. it's like the Nike commercial .. just do it! (Wthink pink Nike?)

[DanaR]

Try taking small steps. Just jumping into the fire might scare you too much. One of my first times, I had made an appointment to see a lady to help me with my makeup. I put on a wig and dressed fairly androgynous; which would let me change back quickly if needed. When I pulled up to her house, it wasn't that difficult to walk up to her door. But I think that I called her when I arrived to make sure she was still okay with me stopping by.

Anyway there are a lot of small things that you can do before going to the mall of out for the evening.

[Katesback]

I love this man I never met. He died way before I was born. He did however create this most amayzing product. It is called Jack Danies. I would take a couple shots of it in the first couple weeks of my comming up and I had the courage to go out. Amayzing but true. Just dont get drunk.

[Karren H]

For me its doing something.... Anything.... successfully and not getting you peep whacked. And doing it again and again. Successfully. So that success is your expected outcome.

[Lorileah]

Hold your head up. Say "I can do this". Deep breath and act like you own it. You have this in the bag :)

[Jenniferathome]

Kelly is right. You just have to do it, BUT you can do it in baby steps. Go driving. Then take a walk in the park. Then walk around the mall, then you go in.

[DonnaT]

My first time, I looked in the mirror and I looked good and figured I wasn't going to look any better, so get on with it. I grabbed my keys and an empty purse, stepped out the door, and started walking.

[Kaz]

I did it in baby steps... driving... walking around where there weren't any people... and bit by bit I got to walking around busy city centres. I am not super confident though. There are lots of things I am nervous of doing... like socialising, going to a cafe.. etc.. but I might get there!

[Mikaela]

My first steps were to leave my apartment, go downstairs to the garage, and get a case of sodas out of my trunk.
The middle of that following week, I cased out a TG club in boy mode.
That weekend, I went out the first time.

It really is about steps.

[JessHaust]

Pick a goal, say just going to the mailbox. Do it, but do it slowly, with your head up like you belong there that way (you do).
Then make the goal bigger, go to the movies. Same thing, head up, tell yourself you belong.
Pretty soon you will notice that no one laughed, called you out or was concerned in the least.
That will give you everything you need.

[StaceyJane]

I started by getting in my car and driving around. Eventually I knew this was right for me and I knew I had to do it.

[Debra Russell]

We all have our own story for getting out the door, think about it, plan, and execute it -- don't forget to breathe!.................Debra

[eluuzion]

I agree with Karren's strategy. Success is about setting realistic and attainable goals...one after another.

Here is an example...

Sit down, take some deep breaths...relax and think positive thoughts while keeping the world in proper perspective. There are not a bunch of vampires waiting in the parking lot for you to step outside, lol.

Ok, now calmly get up...walk confidently over to your front door...and just open it. When it opens quickly throw your keys outside... as hard as you can possibly throw something. Now close the door.

There ya go...you have just created your first achievable objective...:heehee:

Hey...I said it was an example...I didn't say it was going to be a good one...:D

You will be out there bumping into us at Wal-Marts before you know it...:hugs:
You will find your personal pace...just don't beat yourself up about it...it will kick in soon enough...

:hugs:

:love:

[susangirl]

Jenna, your correct in that it take a lot of courage to go into public dressed as woman the first time. the real truth is that most people want care or even notice. They see women walking around every day, and to most you will be just another. Yes, some wil notice but will never say anything to ya. Yes, a few might laugh and the young teenagers will laugh and point at ya if they notice. They almost alway notice. It's like they have cross dressing radar. The trick is to think carefully about your first trip into public and be smart about it. You need to be smart to help your self esteem not because it dangerous. Try this one day. If you don't want to be seen around where you live, underdress with all the good stuff and wear your normal man cloths over them and drive many miles away. Find and good place to slip your man clothing off and put on your woman outer clothing. This want take but a few minutes. Now all you have to do is put on your wig, install your breast and put on a little makeup. You should be ready to at least drive around in as little as 20 minutes. A very good place to go are cemeteries, not many people at all and the few that are around are fare away and not paying any attention to you. I drove around in my car for years and stayed away from people as moch as possible. One day I just parked the car and walked into Macy's like I own the placed. I shopped the entire womans department twice and not one person said a thing bad. Now I had a few years of practice walking in pumps. The point is, you can do it. Your heart will pound and you might sweat a little but the high you get will be enormous and you will want more. Good luck.

[RenneB]

Hey, nice to see some a-squared girls here. I'm just up the road from you. Okay back to the question. How do you get confidence. Every girls' going to be different. For me it was baby steps. As a daywalker, I was out in the light first time out. No hiding in the darkness.. Anyways, I would walk out to the back porch and then run back in. Then I'd do it again. Nothing happend. Hey this isn't so bad. Again, again again I'd do it and nothing. Okay, then down the driveway, then for a short drive, then for a short drive and get out, then for a short drive get out and walk around. Then to a store, then to a store and actually buy something (u-scan of course). Then to a store, buy something from a human..... Took me about 7 months to make it that far.

One step at a time. Yeh, I got 'made' once, but got back on the horse that bit me and it's not happened since....

Eventually, it'll get adicting and you just enjoy going to the normal places that everyone else goes to...

Renne.....

[Eryn]

Small steps are well and good, but eventually you'll just screw up the courage and do something big, like walk through a mall. You'll be surprised to find that nothing bad happens. Then you'll want to do it again! :)

[Tanya C]

You've already mustered up some courage by admitting to yourself that you want to go out. Otherwise, you'd be rationalizing how preferable it is to be closeted.
The next step is out the door, and I'd say it is a foregone conclusion. You will go out, how could you not?
Happy outings,

Tanya

[DanaR]

A couple of things to think about, while out. Before going out, study how women walk and move, so you don't look too guy like. The other thing, is don't be too nervous, otherwise you will draw attention.

[Cheryl T]

Your avatar looks really cute. You should have no problem going out.

Start small. Maybe a trip to the post office to mail a letter to yourself congratulating yourself on your step out. You don't have to go inside to do it, but that's a plus.
If gas is self-service in your area then go fill the tank on a nice day (or night, your choice).
If you want to go to the mall just go...but when you walk in don't be the deer in the headlights. Don't look around at everyone to see if they see you. You have to "Own It" when you go. Just walk in like you've been there a million times before and it's all hum drum. Window shop, don't people shop.
As my wife always tells me ... SAUNTER! I'm always accused of walking too fast. Stroll around the mall like you want to look at everything there, not like you're on a mission.
Lastly, dress like all the other women there. If you're in Nordstrom's at lunch a nice skirt suit is appropriate. If you're in Walmart on Saturday, well you know about all the "WalMartians" and what they look like....don't be one....LOL.

Mostly, have fun. This is not so serious that it's the end of the world if someone stares at you. They could be staring for a hundred reasons. I get stares because I'm tall and I don't care anymore. Just have fun and be yourself.

[kimdl93]

My first steps were to leave my apartment, go downstairs to the garage, and get a case of sodas out of my trunk.
The middle of that following week, I cased out a TG club in boy mode.
That weekend, I went out the first time.

It really is about steps.

I needed to move a sprinkler in the front yard. I was too lazy to change back into drabs, so I summoned up all the resolve I could and stepped timidly out the front door. Two days later, I was got a makeover at MACs, went shopping and had dinner at a restaraunt. I think once you realize that the world will not end, the fear diminishes and your confidences rises.

[Melissa Rose]

In addition to baby steps, going out with an experienced t-girl is a big help. It always feels safer with someone else and their confidence tends to rub off on you. This is where joining a local group and making friends is very beneficial. The group I belong to has a specific program called New Girls Night Out just for this purpose. Sometimes all it takes is a little push and support.

Your comfort level and confidence grows each time you go out. When I'm asked how I got comfortable going out, my answer is always "by going out". The only way to learn how to ride a bike is by riding the bike. You will feel wobbly at first, and maybe even crash once, but after a while you're riding without even thinking about it.