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Frédérique
01-18-2012, 09:02 PM
There was a big football game played this past weekend (well, they ALL are, aren’t they?), and in that game a player made a spectacular catch for a touchdown. He made the big play in the big game, resulting in a big win for his team, city and state, not to mention himself. After all, he will be forever remembered as the guy who caught the ball in that big game – he did something very meaningful, attaining a kind of immortality, at least amongst the memorabilia and trivia freaks. He was NOT the man who dropped the ball (over in that other game), thus bringing shame to his team, city, and state (and himself), and forever being forced to relive his mistake, over and over...

Nope – in the game I’m referring to, the football player made the catch to win the game. When he bounced up off the turf, and escaped the pummeling being administered by his teammates, he removed his helmet, and the viewing audience saw that he was crying – REALLY crying, in a man’s arena, for crying out loud. I thought I was seeing things, but the TV announcer and his companion (I use the term loosely) saw what I saw. “Look at that emotion!” said the talking head, and the “color” man tried to explain why one would feel emotion, i.e. cry, under the curious circumstances of man vs. man combat. It was all very...moving, another word you rarely hear in this overtly masculine world, but there it was, for all to see and contemplate...

I contemplate such things, and I like to see men cry. Of course, I wish they would say “Look at him cry!” rather than “Look at that emotion!” but you get what you pay for these days, here in the gender-specific 21st century. Men aren’t supposed to cry, boys aren’t supposed to cry, and, if females are to inherit the equality they assume is their right, THEY must not cry either. Crying is a sign of weakness, so people go to great lengths to avoid the obvious. “Are you crying?” a person will ask, and another person (most likely a male) will answer “No, I bit my tongue!” You can’t cry under any circumstances, but you are allowed to show “emotion.” A football player, who has sacrificed many things, including a normal lifespan and a healthy emotional state, to play the game he’s good at and/or loves, obviously has plenty to cry about...

But what about the MtF crossdresser, who cries because he, subsequently she, has been in touch with emotion since day one, and that, in itself, is the foundation of this inexplicable need to dress? Nobody is going to put a good “spin” on that display of emotion, since, according to the times we’re living in, all such displays are evidence of weakness, perversion, or mental instability. I contend that the male who eventually “shows emotion” and the MtF crossdresser who does what comes naturally are one and the same, but few would agree with me. That’s OK. Personally, I think we could cry all day about our position in the Universe, our accidental existence, our finite life spans, our fears, hopes, and dreams, not to mention our inability to care for one another within the burdensome precepts we have all inherited. Also, does this dress look right with these shoes, do I pass, am I just kidding myself, what am I doing this for, why do I have these feelings (?), and so forth. There is plenty to cry about, my friends – you might want to get yourself a bucket...

Naturally, the football player who cried on national TV was questioned after the game – WHY did you feel the need to display emotion in such a setting, WHY are you so emotional, and WHY did you continue to display emotion when you reached the sidelines? The man explained that he was thinking about all the work that got him to the supreme moment when he made the catch that will always be remembered, at least until the next great catch, and he “Let it all out.” I just smile when I hear that, because if he didn’t keep it all IN, he wouldn’t have to let it all OUT later and “show” emotion. I get the feeling that showing emotion is a bad thing, especially for males who subscribe to this obsolete notion that might makes right. In the context of WINNING, you can let out emotion for a short time, but please tuck it away before the others see you, OK? We can’t let emotions rule our lives (that is the message), so we are expected to keep it inside, in the bottomless pit of the emotive soul. Personally, I think that’s a crime against humanity...

I’ll tell you – I cry when I see (or feel) something beautiful, and I’m not afraid to do so, or tell someone why I’m crying. To other emotive individuals, there’s no need to explain, which is why I find this side-stepping of an issue that affects all purveyors of alternative existence to be so telling (in a negative sense). Imagine reaching a curious state where emotion has to be discussed, and shown to be beneficial as long as someone else, or something else, is being subjugated. Meanwhile, the person (a male, in this instance) who is inherently emotional, seemingly without aforesaid reason or purpose, is looked down upon as being not worthy, or dismissed outright. It’s a sad state of affairs, and it has a lot to do with why MtF crossdressers are misunderstood. I’ll go out on a limb and say that most CD’ers are highly sensitive human beings, sentient to a fault, and they have a different “take” on things. They may cry when they see something beautiful, or something ugly, or something just THERE, but they display emotion more than the next bloke. If I defeated someone, either at a contest or a game, I would feel sorry I did so – after all, it’s not what I had in mind, you know...

In closing, I wish to say that this lip service paid to emotion is funny, sad, and par for the course, a course laid out by those with truncated feelings. Let the boy, man, or male cry – it’s a GOOD thing, and it may lead us over the goal line and into that hitherto unexplored region of emotional promise. I’ve been there, in fact I live there, and it’s nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. I dress the part, quite nicely I might add, and I have a starring role in my own emotional play. It’s a real tear-jerker, but I wouldn’t have it any other way...

Why on Earth is it so bad to say, “Wow, he’s CRYING – isn’t that wonderful!?” :idontknow:

Debglam
01-18-2012, 09:14 PM
Ahh Freddy! Nice to hear from you again!

Since I finally let the "boys don't cry" stoic bullsh** I was raised on fall by the wayside, I cry more often, and gladly do so! I would have been mortified at this at one time but I was watching Tabitha's Salon Takeover :battingeyelashes: and as a final gift to the salon owner and his partner, she surprised them with a wedding ceremony. I cried, but what was amazing to me is that before, anything having to do with either homosexuality or god forbid trans issues would have caused the steel doors to slam shut! Now I can take vicarious joy in two people in love. Gee, which is better???

Debby

Alice Torn
01-18-2012, 09:22 PM
Some of us are so ultra sensitive and emotion al, that we are on meds, to help balance us out.

GBJoker
01-18-2012, 09:34 PM
I have never thought of crying as an unmanly thing and have never heard another person, male or female, say or think it. Oddly enough, I have never cried in my life.

I must live in a very different world than most.


If I defeated someone, either at a contest or a game, I would feel sorry I did so – after all, it’s not what I had in mind, you know...

Then there is no point in playing the game or competing in the contest. I also do not understand why this is in the essay.

Frédérique
01-19-2012, 08:05 PM
A sports commentator said this about the aforementioned football player/crying incident: “I have no problem with (the player) crying, because THEY WON THE GAME!” This is crying because you didn’t screw up, or simply crying for joy, expressing triumph over potential defeat, and it is the only kind of crying that is allowed in a masculine atmosphere – I "done all seen it," as they say here in Kansas, and every other kind of emotional display is either wrong or queer, queer being a synonym for wrong these days...


Then there is no point in playing the game or competing in the contest. I also do not understand why this is in the essay.

The game or competition references the overall gist of the OP. Also, it’s not an essay, it’s merely a post, meant to hopefully generate some discussion…


Oddly enough, I have never cried in my life.

You should give it a try… :straightface:

PS - Thanks for actually reading the OP. :heehee:

GBJoker
01-19-2012, 08:14 PM
The game or competition references the overall gist of the OP. Also, it’s not an essay, it’s merely a post, meant to hopefully generate some discussion…

I... See... I don't understand why one would be in a competition of some sort without the ultimate goal being to win, but okay.


You should give it a try… :straightface:

PS - Thanks for actually reading the OP. :heehee:

1: I will. If there is ever anything worth crying about in my life.

2: I am guess I am missing a joke...

suchacutie
01-19-2012, 08:26 PM
Yes, it is certainly the case that our current society sees crying as a release of rampant emotions, i.e. "girl" response. Every time I hear someone deride some emotional man with tears in his eyes I remember the movie taken of the people of Paris who were forced to turn out to see the triumphant parade of Nazi armor flowing through their city after the fall of Paris. In that move there is a shot of a man standing there as stoically as possible, but the tears are flowing from his eyes at an incredible rate.

Sometimes tears are the appropriate and acceptable response to stimulus, sad or happy, and every time we see a male public figure with tears in his eyes we have taken a step forward, no matter how inane the commentary of the announcers!

Great thread!

tina

TGMarla
01-19-2012, 09:20 PM
I've seen athletes cry when they win, and cry when they lose. But most of the time, athletes' crying is shown to be a farce, like in television commercials. It's shown to be humorous, so we, the viewer can laugh and chuckle to ourselves, "Those guys don't really cry....geez, that's funny!"

But when a man cries, it's usually for a darn good reason. Men aren't supposed to cry. Remember the song "I'm Not In Love"? The woman whispers in the background, over and over again, "Shhhh....big boys don't cry." I watched Michael Jordan cry whenever he won a championship. I saw teams that just got beat in a championship game sitting there crying. All that work to get there, only to lose. The emotional rollercoaster just goes into overdrive. Out come the waterworks.

I cried when I watched a movie called "Hachi". Go ahead and watch it, and keep a dry eye....I dare you.

Crying is a form of healing. And human beings take a certain amount of emotional abuse in their lives. All people must cry now and then. All of them.

JessicaM1985
01-20-2012, 07:22 AM
I've never understood this either. We were born with this form of release, and it is necessary to help heal emotional pain, but apparently mental and emotional health isn't popular with the cool kids these days. The last time I cried was back at my uncle's funeral. He was a Desert Storm vet who became an alcoholic because of his refusal to see a counselor for his PTSD and to deal with the things he saw and did there. As a result, his liver literally deteriorated right inside him. Society has desensitized us to the point that we would rather die a most horrible death rather than cry and deal with the emotional pain we carry in our lives. I personally was taught growing up that crying was 'something women do', and that I was a little b**** if I ever did it. Being a sensitive person, I couldn't help but cry and was constantly belittled for it by most of the males in my family. It's funny in a way because I ended up being the only 'male' in my family that was never addicted to a substance like alcohol or meth.
It's crazy to me because crying isn 't usually habit forming, doesn't cause abuse and broken homes, and only lasts about 10-15 minutes. But the benefits of it are huge, and can even save your life. I've always had a theory on it too. Many people see it as a sign of weakness. My theory is that those who aren't afraid to cry around others are actually very strong people because they have the ability to do something that not a lot of people can or are willing to do. Nobody wants to be seen as weak or as vunerable. And of course guys don't want their man card revoked. It much more manly to drink yourself to death than to shed tears.... :(

moondog
01-20-2012, 08:07 AM
I remember when the U.S. women's soccer team won and the girl tore of her top, she caught a lot of crap for that. Seems like nobody is allowed to allow their emotions to run free and express the pure joy that's filling them.

BillieJoEllen
01-20-2012, 02:17 PM
During the famed Ice Bowl ( GB. vs Dallas) after GB.s QB scored the winning TD the camera stopped at the sidelines and the QB was being embraced by the GB coach. There were tears streaming out of the eyes of both men. I looked around our living room and there wasn't a dry eye to be seen there either.

Gaby2
01-20-2012, 03:17 PM
Nice observations, Freddy.

Crying means eversomuch to me.
There was a time when I had forgotten how to cry...
I don't cry that often... but I do every now and again, again.

In sport crying is quite a common "event", as I see and experience it... emotions just tend to boil over fairly often.
I often play music for funerals and weddings, special events and ordinary concerts... so I see plenty of tears as a neutral observer.

Childrens' tears are very special.
My youngest daughter has always burst into tears in situations where she was overwhelmed - particulary in school and with "friends".
The standard reactions are how you describe...
I have always comforted her and insisted that to be able to cry is a wonderful gift in itself for all sorts of reasons.

Ah... I notice a tear in my eye...
:love:Gaby

drushin703
01-20-2012, 08:10 PM
I think the player you were refering to was Vernon Davis, the tight end for the San Francisco Fourty Niners. The Fourty Niners defeated the Green Bay
Packers in this game with Vernon Davis catching the winning touchdown. This is the same Mr Davis who was publicly admonished and basically called out
by Mike Singletary, his previous coach, for being a looser. I think Singletary's quote was "cant win with him", refering to Davis' unwillingness to be a team
player. I think the average sports NUT- football junkie understood the contex and the history behind his show of emotion.His tears were the tears of the
conquerer certainly not tears of passion.....dana

I felt my eyes mist up just this past saturday when, at the last minute, my lipstick did not match my nail polish.........?