Transcafe.net - your thoughts.

[Melody Moore]

My reaction was OMG! :eek:

But what does everyone think about this website?

http://www.transcafe.net

[vikki2020]

Looks like there is something there for everyone. "One stop shopping"? I think it's good to have access to as much info as we can.

[AllieSF]

After just a quick scan of the Home page, it looks like it may be a good place for some people to get some information. Was your "OMG!" good or bad?

[Melody Moore]

That is not how I see this site. First of all it appears to have been set up by two natal women with their own ideas
it targets the 'trans community' and yet seems to be more supportive of "transvestites" and not transsexual women.

It has this huge focus on 'passing' rather than trying to get people to just be themselves. They claim to be able to
educate 'trans women' about feminine psychology, which just doesn't make sense if you are already meant to be a
female on the inside who has a male body. Besides, I never knew they were able to define gender in psychology yet.

Also the writer of the psychological aspects of the materials they are trying to sell here, claims to have
been a clinical nurse at a sexual health clinic (http://www.transcafe.net/meet-the-girls/), but she fails to realise that there are many gender diverse
people who are non-binary in their identities & expression in the spectrum. She misses this point completely
so she should not be trying to play psychologist at all since she isn't even qualified. This is very dangerous!

The materials they offer only takes the binary approach to gender identity & expression which I
already know is upsetting to the non binary trans gender identities in the "transgender" community. LOL

It has been accused of being misogynous & perpetuating gender stereotypes, like this comment for example...


Isn't "passing" irrelevant? Shouldn't society accept gender expression no matter what? Isn't making "passing" an important issue akin to assuming the importance of gender being binary? The bearded lady circus phenomenon continues ...I really shouldn't be laughing, but the fallout some of these sites cause with others is
very amusing to watch, but I also learn a lot about gender diversity from sitting back
and just watching all of this mayhem. However I becoming more reluctant to be involved
now in anything that is labelled "trans" or "transgender". I am just a woman who was born
intersex and I just want my surgeries completed and to just get on with life. Is all I can
say is that I am glad that I am not "trans" & feel there is anything I need on that website. ;)

[Sammy777]

Somehow the phrase WTF?!? and :doh: just don't seem to be cutting it for that site.

Seriously, are you frack'in kidding me or what?
These two don't seem to have a clue --- about anything.

In their "Meet the girls" section alone they use the following:
transvestite [It's what CD'ers are called in the UK]
transgender
man
T-girls
trans men
women

Worse part is ALL of the above words/phrases seem to be interchangeable to them as if they ALL have the same meaning.

I don't think either of them could tell the difference between a CD'er, a TS and a Drag Queen if their lives depended on it. :Angry3:

[SandraAbsent]

Seems to me to be another website out there seeking to profit from transgender people that are confused and will buy or try anything they think may help them. Dont we see snake oil like this all the time?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I'm with Sandra...

I think everyone should be allowed to make a buck, sell a service, etc...so i have no issue with these ladies, but i don't think its very valuable to transsexuals...and modestly valuable for cd's..

There are many cheaper E-books out there that do the same thing with less marketing and flash....and when i say the "same thing" , i mean they do VERY LITTLE.....

over the years, i tried many of them in my desperation...in the end, just doing it is far and away the best idea...and unless you can get a person in the room with you to show you how it's done, its not gonna be value...

If you live in the Philly area, try meeting Amanda Richards in Allentown/Bethlehem area...she sits with you, applies makeup, shares her experience, gives you info and charts of what she did and even takes photos if you'd like...i met her years ago, and I'm pretty sure she is still doing her thing...I'm sure there are other similar people in other areas that would help much more than buying pink and purple ebooks.

[LeaP]

I am glad that I am not "trans"

I checked out the site and found it superficial. Cringeworthy, in fact.

Help me (truly) understand your comment on not being trans. Intersexed to sexed via surgery and hormones. A different (or shorter) journey, perhaps, but still a transition. I understand there is often a level of psychological validation in being intersexed from an identity perspective, as it's often expressed here, but there is still a transition to a better-integrated state, else the "inter" in intersexed has no meaning. Moreover, transitioning as an adult involves all the usual social transition issues. TransSEXUAL may not fit all intersexed cases (it does some), but trans(SOMETHING) seems to fit all.

Lea

[vikki2020]

I think it's geared more towards "newbies", and I can see it as useful to someone just trying to find info, or others that are more casual about dressing. There are so many different levels to being a transgendered girl, and there are some nice links there.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Another site that's as dangerously misleading as it is socially inept.

It's scarey to see this existing online and even scarier that there are people that would fall victim to it's almost laughable misrepresentation of the trans community.
Worst case scenario: Some government legislative body uses it to gain knowledge to either discriminate or to promote trans equality.

I see it providing information pertaining to a CD crowd but at the same time it somehow leaves the viewer with the feeling that they were involved in a less than legitimate endeavor.


Julia

[Melody Moore]

I checked out the site and found it superficial. Cringeworthy, in fact.

Help me (truly) understand your comment on not being trans. Intersexed to sexed via surgery and hormones. A different (or shorter) journey, perhaps, but still a transition. I understand there is often a level of psychological validation in being intersexed from an identity perspective, as it's often expressed here, but there is still a transition to a better-integrated state, else the "inter" in intersexed has no meaning. Moreover, transitioning as an adult involves all the usual social transition issues. TransSEXUAL may not fit all intersexed cases (it does some), but trans(SOMETHING) seems to fit all.

Lea

"Trans" does not fit all, especially if you were intersex (45X0/46XY) at birth. Transitioning or being transsexual
is something you go through, it is not a label you apply to yourself when you just see yourself as a female and
nothing more. So this is why I am now rejecting the "labels' transgender & trans from now on. I simply consider
myself to belong to the sex & gender diverse community, but I don't belong to the transgender community and
it is stuff like this website that make me realise how different I am to the rest of the "trans" community now.

I am going to borrow Julia's line here.... "I'm half a GG..You figure it out!!"

[LeaP]

"Trans" does not fit all, especially if you were intersex (45X0/46XY) at birth. Transitioning or being transsexual
is something you go through, it is not a label you apply to yourself when you just see yourself as a female and
nothing more. So this is why I am now rejecting the "labels' transgender & trans from now on. I simply consider
myself to belong to the sex & gender diverse community, but I don't belong to the transgender community and
it is stuff like this website that make me realise how different I am to the rest of the "trans" community now.


Got it, thanks. You were coming at this from a different angle than I thought.

Lea

[suzy1]

This is interesting to me because I could not see a lot wrong with it.
Just another web site for us girls.

Then I read Melody and Julia’s comments and now I see it a bit differently.
We can all learn from each other here and I am still learning.
Thanks girls.


SUZY

[Melody Moore]

Thanks Suzy, this was the idea about posting this particular website because they are targeting the "trans"
community it does raise a lot of questions and is accountable to scrutiny by those they are targeting here.

The feedback I am reading on other networks is interesting because there is a section of the trans community
that wants a more non-binary approach to gender equality. However some of their ideologies are dangerous
because they are based on "transgender theory" and not "transgender reality". For example they believe that
you should not be discriminated against because you don't pass. The reality is, irrespective of whatever legislation
is put in place to protect us, there are always going to be those that discriminate against us regardless. I believe
that FFS, vocal feminisation therapy, electrolysis & laser treatment is essential to some gender diverse people
in order for them to blend in and live happily and safely in society and be free from this discrimination. So I see
these things as being essential needs for some people & this non-binary group try to undermine that as well.

The key here is to understand that we are different in how we see and express our gender identities.
We all hold different opinions and points of view and we just need to respect that. Only a few in the
transgender spectrum I have anything in common with, but the far greatest majority I have nothing in
common with. We all have different needs, but I just don't see a website like this best serving the needs
of the transgender community. This site just looks like it is all about bubblegum & make up to me.

[larry]

Well guess I will not even go to that site after reading all the negative responses here. Now--Does anyone have any
sites for crossdressers that they WOULD recommend ??

[kimdl93]

yeah, my impression is they are looking to make a buck. Anyone read the 1001 Secrets. It seems there's so much good free advice on clothing and make up....but then, they have the "secrets"!

[ArleneRaquel]

I wasn't impressed, they use the word " transvestite ", so often. OMG what an outdated term !:2c::thumbsdn::brolleyes:

[Melody Moore]

Seems to me to be another website out there seeking to profit from transgender people that are confused and will buy or try anything they think may help them.
That is what worries me here is that it seems to exploit those that are the most desperate and want to be accepted in society. The reality is that you cannot dress every man up to be accepted as a woman by others in society regardless of the clothes and the make up. So there are other issues a trans person must deal with in regards to self-confidence that the producers of this website completely overlook.


I think it's geared more towards "newbies".
The problem is this website is mis-guided because it targets the whole transgender community
and not just those "transvestites" or crossdressers who would find this site more useful. It is
also rather insulting really.


yeah, my impression is they are looking to make a buck. Anyone read the 1001 Secrets. It seems there's so much good free advice on clothing and make up....but then, they have the "secrets"!

Hi Kim, I agree, why pay for this advice when there are lots of "how to do" videos on youtube?
The other problem is that these guides are never comprehensive enough to give the best advice
to the unique personalities that are out there looking for help. What works one, doesn't work for
someone else just like one size does not fit all. Finding a good beauty consultant who knows what
they are doing is more beneficial in helping anyone who is trying to find "their look". So I like Kaitlyn's
concept of finding someone that can help you at an individual level rather than wasting money on this.


I wasn't impressed, they use the word " transvestite ", so often. OMG what an outdated term !:2c::thumbsdn::brolleyes:
There is so many things wrong with this site, I cannot believe they take themselves so seriously. Sheeesh! :brolleyes:

[Jorja]

Well guess I will not even go to that site after reading all the negative responses here. Now--Does anyone have any
sites for crossdressers that they WOULD recommend ??

CD.com seem to be a pretty good site, Larry ;)

[Sammy777]

I wasn't impressed, they use the word " transvestite ", so often. OMG what an outdated term !:2c::thumbsdn::brolleyes:

The US and GB/UK - Two countries divided by a common language.
US = Cross dresser / GB = Transvestite
US = a smoke, cigarette / GB = a fag
I think you get the point. :)

[ReineD]

That is not how I see this site. First of all it appears to have been set up by two natal women with their own ideas
it targets the 'trans community' and yet seems to be more supportive of "transvestites" and not transsexual women.

Huh. That's odd. I took it the owners are two M2F crossdressers (http://www.transcafe.net/meet-the-girls/) and the site targets CDs only. They offer suggestions for a variety of looks, including "Dolly, Earth Goddess, Fantasy, and Glam Puss (http://www.transcafe.net/1001-secrets/bonus-booklets/style-introduction-table-contents/)".

I also don't think they understand the difference between CD & TS, or they recognize there are CDers now who prefer to use the term TG since they do feel as if it is more than just the clothes, and they're trying to appeal to all CDers. As to their use of the word Transvestite, I think they are in the UK (take a look at their "T-Girl Links"), and the term there is interchangeable with CD.

They're just trying to make money. It costs $75 to download their 1001 Secrets PDF, and $47 if someone wants to write a testimonial, I'm guessing with pics. :p

Melody, the internet is rife with people wanting to make money off of CDers, and there are plenty of CDers who are willing to pay for it: everything from transformation services, photoshoots, special weekend getaways, cruises, and that's not mentioning all the breast growth, do-it-yourself-hormones, and herbal sites.

[Melody Moore]

Reine, one of these girls (Louise Allen) turned up on another facebook transgender group I am a member
of to promote their website and come under huge amounts of fire. So we know who they just tried to target,
but that didn't work because their product misses the mark completely. There is nothing in their statements
to say they are MtF Cross-dressers or otherwise. Only claims that they have worked with the community.

Here are some of the comments from others


seems a little exploitive and not up to par with trans theory.
there's just a faint hint, too, of some sort of normative notions of feminine presentation
ad some of us are actually struggling against conforming to that sort of image and to accept that we don't have to conform to those beauty norms. My cisgendered feminist friends would be appalled if they thought i thought that being a woman meant conforming to such stereotypesBut it is not all negative now, others are going to try and help them.


I am sending them some info to help them with terminology. I think its great. We should be respectful and help rather then hinder. Helping them may help one of us down the track. I am sure Jane and Louise would love to have some positive input and give assistance any where you feel unsure. We are here for you to bounce off.Louise Allen just posted this:


I must say I am amazed at how vibrant you are and thanks for all the information. I did spend a few weeks reading the messages from this group before I posted www.transcafe.net (http://www.transcafe.net/) and if its OK I would like to continue to do so I am learning so much from you. What a refreshingly articulate and confident group you are. An inspiration! I will be quiet now, promise! Louise

[ReineD]

There is nothing in their statements to say they are MtF Cross-dressers or otherwise.

That's true. I just looked at their face width, neck size, forehead, brow shape, cheeks, noses, the distances between various points on their faces, etc. They just look like GMs to me, although they're both very attractive and passable! :)

I've studied physiognomy for drawing and I probably notice more than the average person.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Lol...reine! My trannydar did not go off...I took them for women...I still guess they are gg..

As a financial person, I have zero issue with people trying to make a buck...and I also have no issue with the negative reviews...it sure looks expensive.....1001 secrets??? Hehe... That's pretty laughable.

Although I sympathize with the concept, I dont think framing it as exploiting people really changes anything...this argument can be made about anything...candy exploits a sweet tooth, but selling candy is ok...

[ReineD]

I did some looking around. Here is Louise Allen's Univ. of Portsmouth page. Notice the bulk of her publications are the PDF documents she offers at transcafe (hardly research material for a PhD candidate), together with the prior publications ("She is Me" and "He is Me"?), are as yet unpublished thus unverifiable. Also, note the absence of a full first name, just "L.".

http://www.port.ac.uk/departments/academic/adm/staff/title,2032,en.html

And this is her brand new facebook page she has just started to promote her new site:

http://www.facebook.com/people/Louise-Allen/525941369?sk=info

I do not, for one moment, believe she went to an all girl's high school. :rolleyes: Also, all the activity on her wall points to her being trans.

And this is her consulting business:

http://www.khrysalis.co.uk/fashion-consultant-contact.html

She may not be a CD after all though. She may well be in the process of transition. If she is, I don't think she'll make many friends in the TS community by trying to capitalize on them and CDers, although I imagine she'll have many CDers who will appreciate her advice. I also can't blame her for wanting to make a buck. It just seems as if she is misrepresenting herself in order to do so.


... but if I am wrong, I will happily eat my words. :)


EDIT - more (this is bordering on dishonesty). It only took one minute to find this:

The Milham Ford School for Girls was closed in 2003 and sold:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milham_Ford_School

However, you can link to a Facebook page for the school from Louise Allen's profile, but it has no information available other than one "like". Note that Facebook launched in 2004, a year after the Milham Ford School was closed.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Milham-Ford-School-for-Girls/135607076458651

If Louise is in fact transitioning, and she wants to be stealth, I don't blame her. But, if I were her I would not link myself to a girl's school that was closed before Facebook launched, and for which there is only one "like".

[Melody Moore]

Reine, dont be fooled into believing Louise is trans by her facebook activity because the way I see it is like you said,
she has set the account up to target transgender groups on Facebook. She is not known to anyone in the Transgender
community on Facebook before she came to our group and you can tell that by how few of friends she has. I believe
she is trying to build up some type of creditability. However and her first post in the group I belong to was only spam
as far as I am concerned because it was all a huge plug for www.transcafe.net (http://www.transcafe.net). If I was the admin I would have banned
her immediately from the group purely on the principles & ethics of what she is doing & how she is going about that.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I did some looking around. Here is Louise Allen's Univ. of Portsmouth page. Notice the bulk of her publications are the PDF documents she offers at transcafe (hardly research material for a PhD candidate), together with the prior publications ("She is Me" and "He is Me"?), are as yet unpublished thus unverifiable. Also, note the absence of a full first name, just "L.".

http://www.port.ac.uk/departments/academic/adm/staff/title,2032,en.html

And this is her brand new facebook page she has just started to promote her new site:

http://www.facebook.com/people/Louise-Allen/525941369?sk=info

I do not, for one moment, believe she went to an all girl's high school. :rolleyes: Also, all the activity on her wall points to her being trans.

And this is her consulting business:

http://www.khrysalis.co.uk/fashion-consultant-contact.html

She may not be a CD after all though. She may well be in the process of transition. If she is, I don't think she'll make many friends in the TS community by trying to capitalize on them and CDers, although I imagine she'll have many CDers who will appreciate her advice. I also can't blame her for wanting to make a buck. It just seems as if she is misrepresenting herself in order to do so.


... but if I am wrong, I will happily eat my words. :)


EDIT - more (this is bordering on dishonesty). It only took one minute to find this:

The Milham Ford School for Girls was closed in 2003 and sold:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milham_Ford_School

However, you can link to a Facebook page for the school from Louise Allen's profile, but it has no information available other than one "like". Note that Facebook launched in 2004, a year after the Milham Ford School was closed.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Milham-Ford-School-for-Girls/135607076458651

If Louise is in fact transitioning, and she wants to be stealth, I don't blame her. But, if I were her I would not link myself to a girl's school that was closed before Facebook launched, and for which there is only one "like".

Reine I was going to post similar info, but you are much faster , LOL

[Debglam]

Melody,

I read it as a way for the owner's of the site to separate girls in the closet from their money. I made THIS (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?156118-Has-Anyone-Read-quot-1001-Secrets-of-Feminine-Crossdressing-quot&highlight=1001+secrets) post awhile back when I saw their book on Amazon. They wanted $45 for an E-Book no less!

I'm starting to see that people that REALLY want to help do so and the scammers charge outrageous amounts for products, services, and information that someone "out" could easily get for much less or even free.

Debby

[Eryn]

One of the links that is on that academic site is to a site called "transvestitetemple.net" which leads to a 404 error, but if you follow the IP address of the server you find that it was hosted by an outfit called "buildprofit.org." Not exactly a good sign.