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Lorileah
01-19-2012, 04:19 PM
“They won’t care.”

That was the text I got in reply to my reply about why I was not able to show up at karaoke one Wednesday night. I was out on the town when the text came in explaining that things were slow and that the KJ, a good friend would appreciate if I could come down. He had just started this gig and he needed people so the owner could see that it was a good investment. But this was one of my planned “get out and about at least once a month) outings and I happened to be in a purple knit top and black skirt with my 4” heels. I sent him a text saying “You don’t want a 6 foot drag queen there”. Thus the they won’t care. Somehow I thought different.

This was a neighborhood bar in the suburbs. A place where every cross dresser was “gay or wanted to be a woman.” A place where the insult was “put on a skirt you pussy.” I didn’t think that they would take kindly to me no matter how good I looked.

The next time I saw him I explained in detail why I could not show up. He “knows” about me so it wasn’t a shock but he insisted they would not care. Still…I didn’t think it was a good idea. This was repeated the next month and the month after that.

So we come to January. The holidays (and Broncos winning a playoff game) had kept me from going out for almost a month. This week was “Go out or die.” Ok maybe not really but I had to go out. Once a month, dinner and bar hopping. That is my New Years Resolution. I had told my KJ friend that I would not be in and he understood.

The night was good (nothing spectacular but always fun. Had dinner, played a little pool). The weather was perfect, still 50 degrees at 7PM (in January in Colorado) so I went without hose in a grey knit cowl neck just above the knee dress and the 4” heels (I put that in because I know as crossdressers you were wondering what I had on). At a little after 10 we decided to call it a night.

As I drove home I thought “Gee karaoke goes to 11. I could drive by and if there are not many people there I could stop and say “hi”. That would shock the KJ. I pulled into the parking lot at 10:24 (just the facts ma’am). There were a lot of cars. I could just leave no one would even know. I saw cars of friends there. Hmm...maybe just a minute. I had told them all about me so they “knew” about me. OK park here. Shut off the car. Still time to go. No one has seen me yet.

Open the car door, deep breath. Go in. He said they won’t care and you have at least 10 people there who will have your back. Click click, click across the pavement to the door. Still time to quit. Run back to the car, they will never know. Nope, go for it.

Walk in to the vestibule and I can look directly into my friend the KJ’s eyes. He looks up. Slight smile but no real sign of recognition. Give a little parade wave from the small room. No one else can see me yet. Still time to run. I might catch a little razz from him later but no one else will know. Head back, chest out, one foot in front of the other. Own it girl. I march straight in and directly to the stage. Now he knows who I am and he smiles. I walk up. Now in most cases at this time when I am dressed like I was a hug would ensue. Nope…we did a fist bump. Another friend was trying his best to continue his song.

“Awesome.” He said. I told him that he should be careful what he asks for because here I was. He smiled and told me I looked great. Then I turned to the crowd. It was too late to hide now. There were a dozen friends sitting there looking at me. Some had known before; others it was a shock. I smiled and cat walked over to the tables. Among the group were three women who either did not know or didn’t believe me when I had told them before. They all sat there with their jaws dropped.

“You are gorgeous”

“Wow, that is amazing”

“You look hot. I am jealous”

I blushed and thanked them. But I knew these people would not be the problem. It was the rest of the patrons I worried about. Would I have to quickly leave when someone either wanted to beat me or date me? The bar was shocked. Several men just stared. One woman glared. Others smiled. No one said anything.

I was asked to take a seat. I sat with all my friends. Of course there were some of the standard questions (Everything but the “are you gay or wanting to be a woman”). One woman lifted the hem of my dress almost to my hip looking to see what was under there.. I playfully slapped her hand away. Another felt my leg (I guess to see if I really shaved?). They all asked me to sing but I thought that would be a little weird. The bartender asked me if needed anything. I had a beer (not my usual drink when dressed, but habit here). The next hour was filled with questions. Several people had their picture taken with me. Everyone complimented me on my looks. A few asked if I had a different name. Some called me “she” and a few called me “he”. Oh well you can’t expect a complete acceptance at one time.

It was last rotation and several asked again if I would sing. There is no way I could pull off a feminine sound but I decided to do a song.
“One to close out the show” the KJ said. By this time the new ness had worn off and most the patrons were drinking or going out for a smoke. I went up to the stage area knowing I was next and not wanting to put the KJ in a bind as to what to call me. I teased a good GG friend that even if she wore my heels I would be taller than her. The KJ queued the music. I had chosen Johnny Rivers “Secret Agent Man.” I figured if someone there had not figured it out by then that would do it. There were maybe 25 people left and a half dozen more out grabbing a smoke.

I started in to the song and made a big deal of making a show over it. There was a man at the bar who stood up and walked out. Oh, well. That didn’t surprise me except he came back in with every smoker who was outside. They stopped and stared. One woman burst into laughter and had to sit down. But she wasn’t being mean. She was just shocked that at 6 foot tall drag queen would sing like that. As one person said “She had the giggles real bad”. I finished to a great round of applause and smiles all around.

I looked over the crowd and realized “They didn’t care.”

kelliT
01-19-2012, 04:32 PM
Nice story Lorileah, I was bracing from something different.

Paulette
01-19-2012, 04:49 PM
It goes to show you that if you dress like all of the GG's in the room you will be accepted. Conduct yourself as a lady and everyone else will treat you as a lady.

Marleena
01-19-2012, 04:50 PM
What a wonderful story Lorileah! I wanted to stand up and cheer when I read it. You are one brave person. You refused to be embarassed and your own comfort and confidence in yourself won the crowd over, congrats!!:)

Dana7
01-19-2012, 04:52 PM
How fun! Seems like you had a great time, Lorileah. :)

Now you have to try to get copies of those pictures they took of you. I'll bet you looked lovely.

I love to Karaoke, but I don't know if I could pull it off enfemme. It's an interesting thought though! You make it sound quite enjoyable.

ReineD
01-19-2012, 05:12 PM
Good for you Lori, congratulations! :)

So ... now maybe you can step it up a bit, and go out twice per month?

kimdl93
01-19-2012, 05:14 PM
Wow, that is incredible. You chose to sing Secret Agent Man? But seriously, what a great experience! I've come out to a few neighbors over the past few weeks, but never anything so bold. You are my hero!

suchacutie
01-19-2012, 05:44 PM
Fantastic story! I second Renee and wonder if once a month will be anywhere near enough after that terrific experience! If you were there once a week they really would get used to the new girl at the bar! :)

tina

carnut62
01-19-2012, 05:45 PM
Sounds like you had a great time with really good friends. I bet you show up earlier next month ;)

Being Paige
01-19-2012, 05:52 PM
Now that was such an awsome story and what a great night you had. Way to go for! and to have the fun you had with your friends!!

JessHaust
01-19-2012, 06:16 PM
“They won’t care.”
so I went without hose in a grey knit cowl neck just above the knee dress and the 4” heels (I put that in because I know as crossdressers you were wondering what I had on).


Yea, Yea, yea, enough about the story, tell us more about the shoes. What color? Open toe or not?

Just kidding, well sort of, Your story is wonderful. The more I go out the more I receive this kind of treatment. If I had not gone out myself, I would have never believed it.
So are you going to be a regular there now? you should!

Lorileah
01-19-2012, 07:14 PM
Thanks all.

I have already been trying for more than once a month. The once a month was set up a couple years ago with my GF. we just really didn't follow through. She loved Lori a lot. After she died I really did start going out more, just mostly to places I knew were "friendly". I plan on going out Saturday again.

TxKimberly here does karaoke and plays guitar while dressed and I always wondered how that worked. (So Kim I would still like to know and if you are EVER in Denver...;)) and the meetup group here used to have karaoke. I just thought it would be extremely weird to look like a woman and sing like a guy (Lola). And this bar is like I said a neighborhood bar (I did talk to the owner afterward and said I hoped I didn't cause a problem and he told me it seemed MORE people came I when I was there...go figure). I may go to more places dressed where my friends are but it won't be an everyday thing.

If I get any pictures I will post them. And Jess they are 4" black round toe pumps. :)

Kate T
01-19-2012, 07:20 PM
LOL! Great story Lori. Sounds like a blast.

I'm really jealous. No, not because you were out in hte burbs dressed in a bar, but that you can SING as well!!

Josie M
01-19-2012, 08:06 PM
More often than not, it's a great experience to step out of your comfort zone. Sounds like you had a wonderful time...and what a great story :)

Nicole Erin
01-19-2012, 08:12 PM
This is what people keep saying - most of the general population doesn't really have a problem with us CD/TS.

Miranda09
01-19-2012, 08:18 PM
Hey...way to go Sis. Sounded like a fun time and I know you must have looked fab girl. I would have loved to have been there just to see the expressions on everyone's face. Glad no one got obnoxious, else a Chicago visit would be in order!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Jonianne
01-19-2012, 08:19 PM
Way to go, Lorileah!!

AnitaH
01-19-2012, 08:28 PM
Wow, such a great experience. A big encouragement for those of us that haven't yet worked up to going out once a month.

AnitaH

Lucy Furr
01-19-2012, 08:39 PM
Great story. It's really inspiring. I wonder what the guys in my band would say if I showed up to a gig in drag? I might have to try that! :daydreaming:

TGMarla
01-19-2012, 08:53 PM
What a great story! I'm so glad for you! Smiles all around.

Anne2345
01-19-2012, 09:44 PM
Fantastic story! Absolutely fantastic! Very well done . . . .

patti1569
01-19-2012, 10:00 PM
Such a great story! You are amazing for doing that! I hope I have that kind of courage someday.

ArleneRaquel
01-19-2012, 10:02 PM
A terrific story, congrats and hugs.

KellyJameson
01-19-2012, 10:48 PM
I love happy endings! What courage you have shown, to dress and sing in a neighborhood bar. WOW!

It is so liberating to take risks, you project such a positive energy it would be difficult to imagine someone wanting to hurt you and I'm sure many would come to your defense but I'm glad it was not necessary. People can be so territorial wanting to keep things exactly as they are with everyone acting according to some unspoken script and it is nice they were so accepting. You expanded their world and your own at the same time.

sandra-leigh
01-19-2012, 11:30 PM
Darling, you were mahhhvelous!

ThisIsBob
01-19-2012, 11:53 PM
Awesome story, Lori! And I have to say the song choice was absolutely epic. :lol: I'd have been in absolute stitches if I'd been there. So glad you had such a positive experience!

stacycoral
01-20-2012, 12:35 AM
Lori, i love your story, you are lucky to live in area which you can really enjoy your life as a woman, Love the way you went about drawing us into each scene, I happy you had many friend there to support you, we will be waiting to hear about Lori's next adventure.

ColleenCD
01-20-2012, 01:07 AM
LoriLeah,

Nicely done! It seems your friends are REAL friends, accepting you for who you are. I would not be surprised if you are strongly urged to return en femme for karaoke night regularly. And the story was a great read too!

Colleen

PretzelGirl
01-20-2012, 10:03 PM
(Everything but the “are you gay or wanting to be a woman”).

I always found this interesting. Other then my doctor asking me if I had gay sex (is it a good diagnostic question?), I have never been asked either of those questions. Urban Legend or not that everyone gets asked?


Everyone complimented me on my looks. A few asked if I had a different name. Some called me “she” and a few called me “he”. Oh well you can’t expect a complete acceptance at one time.

I always thought this was difficult for people. The first time they meet someone in the TG universe, will they easily go to she (MTF) or he (FTM)? I like to assume good intentions and attribute it to a learning process. Maybe they just need to be told and why?


I finished to a great round of applause and smiles all around.

I looked over the crowd and realized “They didn’t care.”

Yes, yes, and yes again! Somehow I'll bet this isn't a new experience to you. But it does sound like you have a great group of friends. Thank you for an uplifting story. I hope it made your day/month/year.

DianeDeBris
01-20-2012, 10:42 PM
Lori -- mostly I am so *thrilled* at your courage - partly in how you handle the CD challenges we all know, and even more in how much strength you're expressing in dealing with the bigger issues that are still so fresh for you -- you rock! Hugs -- Diane

DonnaT
01-20-2012, 11:55 PM
A lovely story, and you tell it so well! :)

Wish I could sing, but I still wouldn't have the nerve.

Lorileah
01-21-2012, 12:37 AM
I always found this interesting. Other then my doctor asking me if I had gay sex (is it a good diagnostic question?), I have never been asked either of those questions. Urban Legend or not that everyone gets asked?

My doctor asked me the same question. And she tells me to be safe no matter what. I don't get it. It is like she wants me to remain healthy:idontknow:

I think I have been asked a couple times. Usually older people and once by a gay guy. I don't get that either :idontknow:

:)

Annaliese2010
01-21-2012, 01:50 AM
I finished to a great round of applause and smiles all around. I looked over the crowd and realized "They didn’t care."

Bravo!!! Kudos to you, Lorileah! What a fun vignette! You R.O.C.K. in the USA, girl! Wish I lived in yo hood. Hangout with you..yea! :battingeyelashes: