Lorileah
01-19-2012, 04:19 PM
“They won’t care.”
That was the text I got in reply to my reply about why I was not able to show up at karaoke one Wednesday night. I was out on the town when the text came in explaining that things were slow and that the KJ, a good friend would appreciate if I could come down. He had just started this gig and he needed people so the owner could see that it was a good investment. But this was one of my planned “get out and about at least once a month) outings and I happened to be in a purple knit top and black skirt with my 4” heels. I sent him a text saying “You don’t want a 6 foot drag queen there”. Thus the they won’t care. Somehow I thought different.
This was a neighborhood bar in the suburbs. A place where every cross dresser was “gay or wanted to be a woman.” A place where the insult was “put on a skirt you pussy.” I didn’t think that they would take kindly to me no matter how good I looked.
The next time I saw him I explained in detail why I could not show up. He “knows” about me so it wasn’t a shock but he insisted they would not care. Still…I didn’t think it was a good idea. This was repeated the next month and the month after that.
So we come to January. The holidays (and Broncos winning a playoff game) had kept me from going out for almost a month. This week was “Go out or die.” Ok maybe not really but I had to go out. Once a month, dinner and bar hopping. That is my New Years Resolution. I had told my KJ friend that I would not be in and he understood.
The night was good (nothing spectacular but always fun. Had dinner, played a little pool). The weather was perfect, still 50 degrees at 7PM (in January in Colorado) so I went without hose in a grey knit cowl neck just above the knee dress and the 4” heels (I put that in because I know as crossdressers you were wondering what I had on). At a little after 10 we decided to call it a night.
As I drove home I thought “Gee karaoke goes to 11. I could drive by and if there are not many people there I could stop and say “hi”. That would shock the KJ. I pulled into the parking lot at 10:24 (just the facts ma’am). There were a lot of cars. I could just leave no one would even know. I saw cars of friends there. Hmm...maybe just a minute. I had told them all about me so they “knew” about me. OK park here. Shut off the car. Still time to go. No one has seen me yet.
Open the car door, deep breath. Go in. He said they won’t care and you have at least 10 people there who will have your back. Click click, click across the pavement to the door. Still time to quit. Run back to the car, they will never know. Nope, go for it.
Walk in to the vestibule and I can look directly into my friend the KJ’s eyes. He looks up. Slight smile but no real sign of recognition. Give a little parade wave from the small room. No one else can see me yet. Still time to run. I might catch a little razz from him later but no one else will know. Head back, chest out, one foot in front of the other. Own it girl. I march straight in and directly to the stage. Now he knows who I am and he smiles. I walk up. Now in most cases at this time when I am dressed like I was a hug would ensue. Nope…we did a fist bump. Another friend was trying his best to continue his song.
“Awesome.” He said. I told him that he should be careful what he asks for because here I was. He smiled and told me I looked great. Then I turned to the crowd. It was too late to hide now. There were a dozen friends sitting there looking at me. Some had known before; others it was a shock. I smiled and cat walked over to the tables. Among the group were three women who either did not know or didn’t believe me when I had told them before. They all sat there with their jaws dropped.
“You are gorgeous”
“Wow, that is amazing”
“You look hot. I am jealous”
I blushed and thanked them. But I knew these people would not be the problem. It was the rest of the patrons I worried about. Would I have to quickly leave when someone either wanted to beat me or date me? The bar was shocked. Several men just stared. One woman glared. Others smiled. No one said anything.
I was asked to take a seat. I sat with all my friends. Of course there were some of the standard questions (Everything but the “are you gay or wanting to be a woman”). One woman lifted the hem of my dress almost to my hip looking to see what was under there.. I playfully slapped her hand away. Another felt my leg (I guess to see if I really shaved?). They all asked me to sing but I thought that would be a little weird. The bartender asked me if needed anything. I had a beer (not my usual drink when dressed, but habit here). The next hour was filled with questions. Several people had their picture taken with me. Everyone complimented me on my looks. A few asked if I had a different name. Some called me “she” and a few called me “he”. Oh well you can’t expect a complete acceptance at one time.
It was last rotation and several asked again if I would sing. There is no way I could pull off a feminine sound but I decided to do a song.
“One to close out the show” the KJ said. By this time the new ness had worn off and most the patrons were drinking or going out for a smoke. I went up to the stage area knowing I was next and not wanting to put the KJ in a bind as to what to call me. I teased a good GG friend that even if she wore my heels I would be taller than her. The KJ queued the music. I had chosen Johnny Rivers “Secret Agent Man.” I figured if someone there had not figured it out by then that would do it. There were maybe 25 people left and a half dozen more out grabbing a smoke.
I started in to the song and made a big deal of making a show over it. There was a man at the bar who stood up and walked out. Oh, well. That didn’t surprise me except he came back in with every smoker who was outside. They stopped and stared. One woman burst into laughter and had to sit down. But she wasn’t being mean. She was just shocked that at 6 foot tall drag queen would sing like that. As one person said “She had the giggles real bad”. I finished to a great round of applause and smiles all around.
I looked over the crowd and realized “They didn’t care.”
That was the text I got in reply to my reply about why I was not able to show up at karaoke one Wednesday night. I was out on the town when the text came in explaining that things were slow and that the KJ, a good friend would appreciate if I could come down. He had just started this gig and he needed people so the owner could see that it was a good investment. But this was one of my planned “get out and about at least once a month) outings and I happened to be in a purple knit top and black skirt with my 4” heels. I sent him a text saying “You don’t want a 6 foot drag queen there”. Thus the they won’t care. Somehow I thought different.
This was a neighborhood bar in the suburbs. A place where every cross dresser was “gay or wanted to be a woman.” A place where the insult was “put on a skirt you pussy.” I didn’t think that they would take kindly to me no matter how good I looked.
The next time I saw him I explained in detail why I could not show up. He “knows” about me so it wasn’t a shock but he insisted they would not care. Still…I didn’t think it was a good idea. This was repeated the next month and the month after that.
So we come to January. The holidays (and Broncos winning a playoff game) had kept me from going out for almost a month. This week was “Go out or die.” Ok maybe not really but I had to go out. Once a month, dinner and bar hopping. That is my New Years Resolution. I had told my KJ friend that I would not be in and he understood.
The night was good (nothing spectacular but always fun. Had dinner, played a little pool). The weather was perfect, still 50 degrees at 7PM (in January in Colorado) so I went without hose in a grey knit cowl neck just above the knee dress and the 4” heels (I put that in because I know as crossdressers you were wondering what I had on). At a little after 10 we decided to call it a night.
As I drove home I thought “Gee karaoke goes to 11. I could drive by and if there are not many people there I could stop and say “hi”. That would shock the KJ. I pulled into the parking lot at 10:24 (just the facts ma’am). There were a lot of cars. I could just leave no one would even know. I saw cars of friends there. Hmm...maybe just a minute. I had told them all about me so they “knew” about me. OK park here. Shut off the car. Still time to go. No one has seen me yet.
Open the car door, deep breath. Go in. He said they won’t care and you have at least 10 people there who will have your back. Click click, click across the pavement to the door. Still time to quit. Run back to the car, they will never know. Nope, go for it.
Walk in to the vestibule and I can look directly into my friend the KJ’s eyes. He looks up. Slight smile but no real sign of recognition. Give a little parade wave from the small room. No one else can see me yet. Still time to run. I might catch a little razz from him later but no one else will know. Head back, chest out, one foot in front of the other. Own it girl. I march straight in and directly to the stage. Now he knows who I am and he smiles. I walk up. Now in most cases at this time when I am dressed like I was a hug would ensue. Nope…we did a fist bump. Another friend was trying his best to continue his song.
“Awesome.” He said. I told him that he should be careful what he asks for because here I was. He smiled and told me I looked great. Then I turned to the crowd. It was too late to hide now. There were a dozen friends sitting there looking at me. Some had known before; others it was a shock. I smiled and cat walked over to the tables. Among the group were three women who either did not know or didn’t believe me when I had told them before. They all sat there with their jaws dropped.
“You are gorgeous”
“Wow, that is amazing”
“You look hot. I am jealous”
I blushed and thanked them. But I knew these people would not be the problem. It was the rest of the patrons I worried about. Would I have to quickly leave when someone either wanted to beat me or date me? The bar was shocked. Several men just stared. One woman glared. Others smiled. No one said anything.
I was asked to take a seat. I sat with all my friends. Of course there were some of the standard questions (Everything but the “are you gay or wanting to be a woman”). One woman lifted the hem of my dress almost to my hip looking to see what was under there.. I playfully slapped her hand away. Another felt my leg (I guess to see if I really shaved?). They all asked me to sing but I thought that would be a little weird. The bartender asked me if needed anything. I had a beer (not my usual drink when dressed, but habit here). The next hour was filled with questions. Several people had their picture taken with me. Everyone complimented me on my looks. A few asked if I had a different name. Some called me “she” and a few called me “he”. Oh well you can’t expect a complete acceptance at one time.
It was last rotation and several asked again if I would sing. There is no way I could pull off a feminine sound but I decided to do a song.
“One to close out the show” the KJ said. By this time the new ness had worn off and most the patrons were drinking or going out for a smoke. I went up to the stage area knowing I was next and not wanting to put the KJ in a bind as to what to call me. I teased a good GG friend that even if she wore my heels I would be taller than her. The KJ queued the music. I had chosen Johnny Rivers “Secret Agent Man.” I figured if someone there had not figured it out by then that would do it. There were maybe 25 people left and a half dozen more out grabbing a smoke.
I started in to the song and made a big deal of making a show over it. There was a man at the bar who stood up and walked out. Oh, well. That didn’t surprise me except he came back in with every smoker who was outside. They stopped and stared. One woman burst into laughter and had to sit down. But she wasn’t being mean. She was just shocked that at 6 foot tall drag queen would sing like that. As one person said “She had the giggles real bad”. I finished to a great round of applause and smiles all around.
I looked over the crowd and realized “They didn’t care.”