Is it important to pass?

[Jenniferathome]

For me it is. I have read and participated in many debates on this subject here. And while I totally agree with those who say that being crossdressed is about how the CD feels, I have come to the conclusion that, for me, it is just a little more than that.

Of course, selfishly, I do not want to be embarrassed but how I "feel" is intertwined with the environment in which I find myself. For example, I'm tense when the Steelers are losing and giddy when they are winning. The same is true in crowds. A tense crowd, makes more more uptight. So, by not passing successfully, I am disturbing the 和, or harmony as the Japanese say, of the group. In boy mode, I don't care what others think of me but for some reason, I just don't want to impose on others when I am in girl mode. And crossdressing is just different enough that the average person will rearely experience any interaction with a CD All that means is practice, practice, practice. Just an observation about me and not intended to judge anyone.

[Karren H]

I used to think so....a long time ago.... but as time marched on I realized "who am I fooling?". I don't really pass.. People either didn't notice or didn't care.. So I figured if they didn't care then I don't either. Now its not important. At all.

[meganmartin]

Personally I do not think it is important to pass however I have always tried to blend.
Blendable is more of an obtainable goal than passing for me anyway.

I find that sometimes I can fool people for a few moments than I either say something or do something that gives it away.

One other note sometimes I have fun when being read and peoples reaction and or they are curious and ask questions. The interactions are very funny.

[Paulette]

Megan ans Karen have hit the nail on the head, blending is an achievable goal for most of us and when accomplished allows the freedom to experience life as a woman. How you conduct yourself is all that you control, other people are responsible for their own actions. For those you go for the **** or over the top look , please do not cry the blues when someone outs you by their actions towards the man in a dress.

[meganmartin]

Thanks Paulette, another thing Karen stated is so true.
Early on I fretted over if I passed or not and was not enjoying my girl time.
Now I try to just look my best and not over dress. Once I got over that I enjoy my outings much more and my natural personality shows.

[Paulette]

Megan you are so correct on not over dressing. I once read an article about "cross OVER dressed" and it really hit home. I spent the next few weeks looking at what the GG's were wearing at different events that I attended in my drab life. If you pay attention everyday to what the GG's are wearing you will get a sense of what is proper and acceptable in society for your size, shape, and age. This is my going to the mall and shopping outfit for the early to middle of the day http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=171610&d=1325728381. Towards late afternoon I will sometimes wear a dress suitable for an office worker. Again the ability to blend in has served me well. As you can see no one is going to clock me as a man from 20 feet away, and I get to wear a nice light blouse, cropped jeans and heels. In this photo I had just run some girly errands and was on my way to get a facial. After the facial I re-applied my makeup and went to a casual dinner with a couple of friends. Both of y friends (one GG) were dressed similar to me with nice tops and pants.

[Debra Russell]

It's true passing is a goal albet unobtainable for most of us. I always strive for passing but settle for passing as well as I can - the angst of the worry just is'nt worth it...................Debra

[Kerigirl2009]

To me the answer is YES!!! I want to pass or atleast blend in with everyone, I don't want to stand out in the crowd, or be read immediately.

I have gone out only a few times i my life, I really do want to go out more and just live the fantasy of being accepted as a woman figure while I am presenting as a woman.

I guess its all about confidence, I have a bit of that but I also have just as much fear of being recgonized and called out infront of everyone. I could handle it I think but don't really want to go there by myself.

So if I can pass then all the better for my self imposed fear.

[Marleena]

I think our goal is to pass Jennifer. Can we do it, dunno.. The test is to walk into a room full of teenage girls.lol. You'll find out in a hurry.

I'm leaning towards blending and confidence after reading this board for awhile.

[kimdl93]

I so desparately wish it were possible for me to pass, but I cannot ever really believe I might. At best, I hope not to scare anyone. So far, I've accomplished that...at least no one has run away shreiking yet. And a few times, I do get called Mam, which was delightful. Of course, I don't know if that's because they can't tell or they're simply being courteous.

[suchacutie]

After reading a number of threads about passing, and as Tina has matured, I think I finally have an idea about my feelings on this subject of passing.

Tina wants to have the tools to pass. She wants the confidence, the understanding of appropriate wardrobe choices, the ability and saavy to do her makeup properly and appropriately, the necessary control and presenatation of her voice and language, and the deportment that gives off so many feminine signals that the idea of this being a "man in a dress" never crosses the mind.

These abilities are a part of Tina and a part of what gives her the "feminine feedback" while we are in feminine mode. For sure, she never wants to look at herself, or hear herself and be presented by the "guy in the dress". If Tina is comfortable with all of this, then she has succeeded in "passing".

What others think of her is less interesting! It's what she thinks of herself, and what my wife thinks of her!

Maybe that could be called "internal passing"! :)

[Kelli Ca]

wish bi didnt care but for now i really do. I wont pass, at least i dont think i make a passable woman so i stick to the house. i hope one day to not care.

[Loni]

it is always important to pass...if it is a test, or another car on the road way.
but if you just dress and act like a lady most will never know or care one bit.
for years i was scared that some would just do a screech and point at me and others would do the same. (think the original body snatchers).
but now i know it never happens, and people treat you as you are dressed.
as for passing, in retrospect of me looking like a real girl..no way is that going to happen, but i dress and act right, sure there have been a couple snickers. but for most it is life goes on.

no body cares. to busy with there lives and problems.

.

[Cheryl T]

To me "passing" has become more a state of mind than an actual physical state.
I do my best, to look my best, to be my best, and still sometimes I'm "read". It used to be an issue for me and now I'm in the "I don't care anymore" camp with Karren. It's not that big a deal. I carry myself with confidence, I conduct myself with dignity and hopefully people realize that and ignore the flaw that I was not born female, but only do my best to present the feminine portion of my being.

Most of us would pay dearly to "pass" ... to go about unnoticed as anything other than a "normal woman". It's rare that any of us can truly say "I pass".

[JessHaust]

I still want to 'pass', but I have begun to understand that it's really more 'Blend'.
I love to dress and don't want to look like a Monty Python skit, so I try to dress up a bit. The post about observing want GG's are wearing is one to take to heart, but there are GG's that dress up and those that dress down.
I'm lucky to have a wife and 2 adult daughters to help me dress right. BTW the wife is more dress down, the daughters are more dress up, so I end up somewhere in the middle.

[GBJoker]

It is very important to me, and is why I don't dress nearly as much as most people on this site. If I don't don't look far enough away or different from my "normal" self, then I have failed. It bothers me both in public and private.

[Sandy Banks]

It is a goal, but I admit I'm not 100% sure I do, but I blended well today. Went to the Grand Coastal Mall an outlet mall,CVS, gas etc., got no weird looks and even bought a few items. Took some pics when I got home..............

[christina s]

It would be a definite plus . I would like to be able to walk through campus and not be the buff guy in a dress , but blend in .

[ThisIsBob]

I'd love to be able to pass, and from the neck down, I think it's fairly achievable, but until I learn what I'm doing with makeup I have 0 chance. :) Even when my roomie did my makeup for me for the club the first time I went out years ago, it was still much more about "blending" than "passing". :)

[DanaR]

I try to blend. I'm not going to the mall and wear a mini skirt and 5" heels, anyone that does that is going to get attention. I try to dress to fit in. There was another thread where a girl was going out with a GG, and the GG suggested that she wear jeans. That is how a lot of women dress now days, so finding places to go in a dress or skirt is a little harder.

[Miranda09]

I would have to say that for me, passing is important. I want that illusion created, which really makes me feel like the transformation is complete. However, I don't over do it either. I like to keep the styles simple. with maybe a little extra on the makeup (which still needs work!!). :)

[rachaelsloane]

Jen,
I believe "pass" is not the right word to use but rather "present". Since I have been going out, it is really important that I present myself the very best I can (clothes, hair, makeup, etc.). It also helps that many times I have been complimented
on my outfit or hair.
Remember, when you're out in SF, we need to go out.
Rachael

[TGMarla]

For me, it is important to pass as well as I can. I don't think I'm able to fool many people at second glance, but I do the best I can do, and it makes me feel good.

[Sarah Doepner]

It must be important or we wouldn't all know what it is. Passing is a goal, just like getting 100% on a test or all your money back from the IRS. As long as we recognize that it's probably not going to happen and don't bet our lives on it, why not say it's important? However, like the vast majority of crossdressers, I have learned that I'm not going to make it all the way to "Pass" so I'm learning to appreciate the journey.

[Starr]

Since i now use my own hair and not a wig, i am not as concerned about passing. It is me a little makeup some fem clothes but it is me... To a lot of people who pay little attention to what is going on around them yea i guess i pass. For those who take a closer look at 6' tall and 190 lbs i kind of stand out and they may say to themselves, was that a man or woman? Which is fine with me, to those i have to deal with close up and direct i am sure most know but as long as i present myself properly, smile, hold my head up, and act like i belong then they will in most cases accept me as me... and the above is all i hope for

[Nikki A.]

I like Rachael's idea of presenting rather than passing. Part of presenting is dressing to the event. I try to dress well for the occasion
, do I pass, no I don't think I do, but if I feel good it makes me feel confident and I think this slants people's perceptions.

[ArleneRaquel]

For me passing is more a desire than a hard fact, but many women have infact taken me for a GG, which makes me feel wonderful. I just want to blend & be allowed to live my life the way that I desire. Btw most of the women that I taken me for a GG were on the older range of ages, 60+. Most have these ladies have been women who I met while doing yard work, of sheveling the snow. This was when I owned my own home, now I live in an apartment.

[S. Lisa Smith]

To me, blending and passing are the same thing. I want to be perceived as a woman and treated like one. I work hard on my look, my movements and voice.

[RenneB]

If there's anything I've learned from being on this rock for now going on over 5 decads, we (humans) come in all shapes and sizes. Some of us were given very symetrical bodies/faces with the absolute perfect proportions. If you think about it, there are actually very few of us humans that are 'perfect'. Perfect beauty is an anomolie albeit the human brain is wired to detect the perfect proportions of a desireable male/female.

At this stage of my life, I too just want to blend in....but with a little more style. You'll see those women in the mall that have taken just a little bit more time with the matching of there clothes or the addition of a piece of jewelry or styled their hair just so. That's what I want to be lookin like in the not to distant future. I call it the above average 50 year old blender chic. Not too tall, no too short, not to heavy, not too skinny, but just right.

I want to walk right past you and you not even notice, but then a few steps later, you turn around and say, "hey that lady was pretty darn good lookin". All guys do it, when they see a woman with a nice wiggle, they'll stop to check her out for just a lil bit of a break in their day.

For me it's a journey to be healthy, to look after myself and to feel as normal as I can being born with a female brain in a male's body... I don't want to stand out, just to fit in....

Hope this makes some sort of scence.....

Renne.....

[April_Ligeia]

I will never pass as female, so I guess I have a bias, but I say no, who cares.

[JessicaM1985]

My goal is just to blend and to not be referred to as 'that guy in drag', and be harassed as one. My voice will definitely give me away, as will the fact that I'm 6'3" and over 300lbs. and have rock hard calves. I agree that people who overdress are setting themselves up for a negative reaction. But if you don't care, all the power in the world to you. You be, by far, a much braver gal than I, and I would tip my chic hat to you. :)

[5150 Girl]

On the one hand I like to pass because I do this as a manifestation fo my self image. However, if I don't, it's not the end of the world for me because I belive in the "the more comon place we make ourselves, the comon place we become" therory of mine... As I see it, the more the general public gets used to seeing us, it takes the sigma away

[donnatracey]

Yes, it is important to pass but in most cases, like mine, it is not realistic. So.....the next best thing would be to "blend in" like others have said, to such an extent that I can now go out in public without attracting undue attention, comments, etc and enjoy myself and the experience.

[vivianann]

The important thing is you should be comfortable in your skin while dressed enfemme, it will go along way in helping you to pass to a certain degree. I dont pass 100% percent either, however because I am comfortable in my skin and confident, peaple pick up on that, especially GG's.
It has been a wonderful journey for me since 2006, and there is no way I will ever hide my femme self from the world any more.

[Kate Simmons]

The bottom line is that the genetic women we tend to emulate don't care about "passing" so why should we? You never hear a woman say: "Do I pass?" They rather say:"Do I look nice?" We tend to overblow it a bit.:)

[thechic]

HI
I would have to say,to me its important to pass it certinly makes it safer in the public arena.

[noeleena]

Hi,

For my self .( Passing , blending or presenting have no meaning & it never happened , 16 years ago. & going back 54 years it was no different then i did not like how i looked then & in many ways was ashamed of how i looked.

& Even now i'v been ashamed of how i look facial wise.been to some lovely get to gethers & thought why am i here, & yes wonted to hide, some thing i accept ,

yet i have been told & it was said in a nice way i looked a rather hansome man.i never saw that , part of the problem is being I S even tho im a I S woman , it has not helped much, not really .

So to be able to do what i have & am doing as a P R person very public really means i accept the way i look , i have to......

I do dress nicely & look nice just dont have the female look about my self. body wise im good more female than some i know& they would agree,

I do have other attributes that i use to make up for my failings ,I have acceptance as a female / woman & those who know me & who i am dont have any problem with this,

As iv looked at this over my life & been told not all of us have the whats seen as outer beauty we are not all the same in the beauty stake's , so what we do have is an inner beauty & i use that to the fullest so were we lack we can make up in other ways, & standing in front of 1000's of people with out fear & talk to them then i have some thing that many others dont have,

So it comes down to use your gifts & work through the i dont pass , blend it or how you present your self ,

Mind you , if you could see me in some of my other clothes you may wonder how i can do that in front of 100's of people , its about being confident in your self & knowing you can, & yes people do look at myself & the way i dress, lots,

stand out very much so,
& yet it's so lovely to be able to do that, so may be being different has some advantage ,

...noeleena...

[Arrows27]

I live in a pretty trans friendly area, as a result I see a few transgendered ladies (they could just be cross dressers too, i don't actually know!) who obviously don't pass. I have to admit, even in a trans friendly area, that must take a whole lot of courage and self confidence that I know I do not possess.

Is it important to pass? I'm sure it completely changes the game... But as a member of the community who has never left the house dressed, I've got loads of respect for the courageousness of those that don't pass, but go about their business anyway.

[eluuzion]

After the last Bronco game, I think is safe to assume Tim Tebow would answer this question YES, lol.

As for me...I can't answer any question with a generalized yes/no that provide blanket coverage.
I typically create at least a mental conception of my "objective" that I apply to the specific issues of the present challenge. I don't really think in terms of designing "catch-all" applications. Because I think that approach reduces the effectiveness of every case to some degree. But I do view it as creating the basic "prop" (me), then polish it up with the required modifications or additions that are required for the current "mission", lol.

I do a lot of covert stuff related to security/surveillance/concealment issues in business... and for childish spy games (that I never outgrew) just to see if I can pull it off. So I am probably more focused on being successful in whatever the individual objective is at hand..(like when I used it as a disguise to observe the antics of my cheating ex).etc.

I am focused on human behavior mostly...kinesics/truth telling/ various strategies used to cope with crisis...etc.
So, I suppose it is important, but not in a context of wanting to win a beauty contest, lol. If I know I have minimal chance of pulling it off in a specific place...I do not do it. But that is a rare case. I am pretty good at hiding things in plain site, lol. It is amazing what you can pull off if you are careful not to alter the consistency of human perception, related to "normal" expectations. It is like fooling a terminator when it is scanning for irregularity...my objective is always to be the smallest goldfish in the fishbowl...heehee. I really am sick...eh? lol

It is just a game...I will probably never grow up...my curiosity just refuses to allow it:D

:love:

[jjjjohanne]

Wow, I am surprised that I am the first to speak this way. For me, it is about the clothes. I do not want to be a girl. I don't think of myself as a girl, ever. Therefore, I am more prone to wear a skirt and reasonable heels. I don't own any blue jeans. I do not wear makeup or a wig. Just my man head in pretty clothes. Sometimes I try to wear femme clothes to blend in as a man. But sometimes, I just want to dress how I feel like dressing. If I go out in the daytime while school is in session and I stick to places where decent people are, I am treated very well. I get looks, but no mean reactions. I recommend trying the man-head with a skirt thing at least once so that you will be able to tell when you are passing. When people cannot tell, it is very different than when you are obvious.

[Samantha_Smile]

I dont go out, so passing is on the low end of priority.
However, that isn't to say I dont try to look good. I try my best everytime and as long as I feel pretty, then Im generally happy.
Its really easy to not give a crap about what others think when you dont take a step outside :)

I know I cant pass, even with the best makeup and shapewear on the planet, but as long as I enjoy myself, and I think I look good, then Im alright.

[Renee W]

Since I have yet to go out en femme and do not know if/when I may do so, passing is not a goal for me. My main goal when dressing though is to be what I feel is presentable. By presentable, I am looking for what I believe is a well dressed, nicely made up femme version of myself. I know I have wide shoulders, a semi-visible Adam's Apple and other male characteristics that are hard to hide, but at this point I do not care. My only other goal is to make sure that I do not over do it and start approaching the Drag Queen (no offense to those who strive for that) look.

I am also aware that I may not always adhere to all of the fashion rules, but in order to keep my CDing manageable and as to not upset the wife by overspending, some of my items may not exactly go with each other, but they are close (mostly matching shoes with outfit type thing).

[Katie83]

Personally i feel it is important to shoot for the stars, always aim high. That way if you fall short you've still done better than if you'd aimed low in the first place. So in this context, passing, blending or not, i always aim to pass. With my best make up, best wig, appropriate clothing and mannerisms. Then if i fall short of passing i will still blend which would avoid any potential hassles of being outed!
Katie

[linda allen]

When I go out, I want to pass as a woman. I want people who walk or drive past me to think they just passed a woman. Actually, I don't want them to think about me anymore than they would think about a "real" woman they just passed.

Is that possible? Well, I'm not really in a position to go "all out", shave my body, glue on painted nails, etc. so my ability to pass probably depends on the distance between me and the observer and the observer's level of attention and eyesight.

If you're driving down the road and see me walking on the sidewalk, I probably pass. If you're walking on that same sidewalk and pass by me, I may or may not pass, it depends on if you're paying attention or thinking about something else.

Some members here live full time as females or go to a great deal of trouble to look, act, and talk like a natural female. I repsect that. I'm just not to that point and probably never will be. At least, so far, nobody has pointed and laughed or walked up to me and said "You're a dude, right?"

[moondog]

I find it very important that I am able to pass, which is why I'll probably not go outside for about two years.

[jillleanne]

If you are talking about fooling the masses, I will fail to some degree. I simply try to blend as best as possible. I express my gender self to please me, not the masses so when out and about en femme, I do my best to blend into the public for a few reasons. The main one is simple; I love being femme, period. The second reason is to attempt to fit in the femme personna in public without raising eyebrows at a distance to an eye that has any negative connotations, i.e., violent acts of aggression towards me. Verbal I can handle( although they also cause concern), but physical acts I wish to avoid. Overall I do a good job of fitting into the general population and love the freedom of expression I get when out and about without any incidents. If I do not pass in someones eyes, oh well, they'll need to deal with it, not me.

[Sara Jessica]

Here is a challenge. I dare anyone who is a part-timer in presentation to demonstrate to us how one knows they pass.

(crickets)

Really, there is no way to know for certain. You have no idea as to everything that happens in your wake. Sure you might perceive a lack of any reaction whatsoever out of your peripheral vision but short of asking everyone you encounter, "hey, did you perceive me as a female or a guy-in-a-dress?", you really will never know.

Therefore, I personally consider passing to be over-rated (or as someone said before, unobtainable for most of us).

This certainly doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to be our best. We all come in various shapes and sizes. Each and every one of us has challenges that have been brought on by our chromosomal gender, many of which can be difficult, if not impossible to overcome when trying to present as a "passable" female. We should do the best we can with what we've been given, simple as that.

There are "rules" out there when it comes to style & fashion. Well, here are my rules when it comes to going out and about (source, Bobbi Brown with my additions in parenthesis).

1) Spread Beauty. (Makes sense, isn't that what a lot of us try to do?)

2) Do what you love. (I love who I am.)

3) Love what you do. (...which is why I do it.)

4) Keep it simple. (This speaks to the fact that "less is more" is often true.)

5) Laugh out loud. (In other words, when out & about, HAVE FUN!)

6) Go with the flow. (Couldn't be more applicable than in our world.)

7) Be real. (Hard to argue with that one.)

8) Focus on the positive. (Accentuate the positive, downplay the negatives.)

9) Do your best. (As I said before, if we're being our best, we can hold our head high.)

10. Just breathe. (...as in relax.)

I actually carry these "rules" with me in my purse. They are a reminder to take the time to smell the roses. There is nothing like tripping into a moment of being, where everything just clicks and you sense the world is yours and that you are being perceived as you wish to be perceived. It could be as simple as seeing your shadow or a fleeting glance in a mirror. It could be how you are treated by others. It might be living life with friends and cherishing the experience.

I was out the other day and was at dinner with a couple friends, a natal female and one of my TG friends who joined us in guy mode. The day had been tremendous and as I was washing my hands in the restroom, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror where I saw nothing but 1000% woman. I wondered to myself, realizing that I had not detected anything in my wake throughout the day, if perhaps I'm "passing". I then quickly ushered such a thought from my mind as it is counter-productive to think such things. I returned to our table with a feeling of nirvana that I have truly achieved #'s 1 through 10 above which was good enough for me.

[moondog]

For me I don't know if I would call my desire to pass as "fooling the masses," rather it's a need to appear and BE feminine. I know I'll never be a woman, but I want to get as close as I can right now without drugs or surgery.

[Richelle423]

I know i'll never pass nor blend in.I just wear whatever is comfy for me.i've been a little brave lately and started going out in jeans with a coat.It's a good start I think.

[SherriePall]

I try to pass when I go out. That's my goal and I work towards that with my clothing, hair, makeup and deportment. If I don't pass 100 percent, then I only hope that I keep them guessing!

[shawnsheila]

I need to feel like I pass as much as possible, I am limited because I am unable to shave my legs/chest and get my eyebrows plucked :(
But I'll be happy to just be passable.

[ArleneRaquel]

I need to feel like I pass as much as possible, I am limited because I am unable to shave my legs/chest and get my eyebrows plucked :(
But I'll be happy to just be passable.

shawnsheila,
You are more than passable from what I see in your avatar & profile pic.

[Lorileah]

One reason people get pegged out in public is their desperate attempt to pass. When you try too hard you stand out way more than if you just relax and be you. Here on these boards there are so many who believe that all women walk, talk, sit, stand, wear certain things, do their make up just so, no white after Labor day, use only one fork, cross their legs in a fashion. When you start thinking of all that you become a parody. All this "Passing" is really not an issue. First you WON'T pass. There are so few here who can even come close (no matter what you see in pictures) that you will be disappointed when you do get pegged. You are not built like an average woman. (watch all those CSI shows). You are probably taller, narrower in the hips and wider at the shoulders than the average woman (assuming passing means you will look average). Ask the majority of the TS's here and you will hear how they just do what they do without thinking about "how would a woman do it".

Also in my honest opinion it is easy to "pass" in the fashion that you want to pass. Wear the official uniform of most American men and women. Loose fitting tops (especially T-shirts) and baggy slacks (especially sweats). Athletic shoes or Crocs. Admit that what you like to wear is NOT what the average woman wears on a daily basis. So if you wear a skirt, it will probably be noticed. If you wear heels you WILL be noticed.

Save all the disappointment and just enjoy how you look. If that isn't enough, take an afternoon off and go to a few public places and watch. You will see that most women don't fit a "Passing" category. They don't dress a certain way, they don't walk a certain way, they don't do all the things you think are associated with passing. They just go about their business and they don't worry what you or anyone else thinks about them (unless they are 14 years old).

I am with Karren on this. I don't care what others think. I wear what I like and if they don't like it they can close their eyes. 99% of the time they are so busty with their own space hey don't even see you.

[shawnsheila]

shawnsheila,
You are more than passable from what I see in your avatar & profile pic.
:o Thanks MsArlene :) That means a lot to me

[Katelyn B]

I guess I come down on the side of just blending in, I want to be anonymous and ignored when outside the house, just like every other woman out there going about their lives.

Most of the time, I succeed, probably because most people don't care or just aren't that observant, especially from a distance, but I do hate it when queuing and you can hear whispers about you coming from behind.

[Katelyn B]

I guess I come down on the side of just blending in, I want to be anonymous and ignored when outside the house, just like every other woman out there going about their lives.

Most of the time, I succeed, probably because most people don't care or just aren't that observant, especially from a distance, but I do hate it when queuing and you can hear whispers about you coming from behind.

[Lynn Marie]

I am with Karren on this. I don't care what others think. I wear what I like and if they don't like it they can close their eyes. 99% of the time they are so busty with their own space hey don't even see you.

I'm with Karren and Lorileah on this too. Well put Lorileah.

BTW, did anyone else notice the Freudian slip, "busty with their oen space". I have a couple of Freudian slips and a couple of shorter ones too.

[MsJanessa]

The most passable CD I know looks like one of my maiden great aunts---not a stunning glamour queen but she really blends in---for me, I would rather be read as a pretty CD than pass as a plain GG---

[Tammy V]

I agree with Katelynn, I don't like people looking at me so I dress down and blend in and i feel more comfortable and accepted.

[Cindi Johnson]

Me, I try to be as passable as possible. But really, I don't care that much. I find myself more often than not frequenting places where I'm known to be TG (e.g., a local Starbucks, a nearby grocery store) even though I could drive just a few minutes further and shop where I'm not known and do pass. As I've moved more and more along the TG spectrum (from CD to nearly TS), I've become rather proud to be TG. I don't care that others know or not.

[Tanya C]

Is it important to pass? It all depends on what you mean by important. On the one hand I think it would be a great thrill to be able to pass, I won't deny that. But on the other hand it really isn't necessary either because I love going out anyway.

[Alice Torn]

Only if yoyr football team cannot run the ball. Ok, yes it is pretty important, that's why i seldom ever go out!

[Paula T]

I try to pass when I go out. That's my goal and I work towards that with my clothing, hair, makeup and deportment. If I don't pass 100 percent, then I only hope that I keep them guessing!

This is the same thing that I do when I go out. I know I don't fool everyone but I am getting a thicker skin as I get older.

[whowhatwhen]

Reading all these posts about negativity really makes it hard to want to continue, but as I'm sure you all know by now it's not something that is chosen.
I mean, they wouldn't laugh at a cancer patient or an amputee but TG people are fair game?

Passing would be very important, but as was pointed out is a dream at best.
All I can do is wait for some giant poison gas cloud of some sort which targets jerk cells in a**holes causing vegetation.

Why yes, my view of the world is pretty dark.
:P

[SethAutumn]

yes it is important to pass to succeed in life we should pass every step.

[PretzelGirl]

I just don't want little kids cowering behind their mother's skirts! The adults can fend for themselves.

I believe that attitude is what carries the day. Does it make you look better? No. But if you are comfortable, smiling, and truly happy people accept you regardless. If you are sneaking about, avoiding eye contact, and mumbling; you certainly will get people talking about you.

[Lorileah]

If I spend an hour or more to look like a woman someone better darn well notice me...otherwise why bother? I could stay home and be ignored.

[Annaliese2010]

Is it important to pass?

Um... yea?! Of course it is!

[Sarah Doepner]

If I spend an hour or more to look like a woman someone better darn well notice me...otherwise why bother? I could stay home and be ignored.

Maybe it's a different thread, but this is a very reasonable approach. Honestly, don't some of us go out with the idea in the back of our head that we want to be noticed? Isn't that a significant part of passing? As MsJanessa suggests, it may be better to be appreciated as an attractive CD than to be overlooked all together. Accept the reality that you probably won't pass in public, but continue to reach for the stars, right?

[Leslie Iz]

At 6' 5" I don't even attempt it...with my pumps I am like 6' 8".

[PrettyTranny]

Not for me as I doubt as I could ever do it. I'm too masculine looking and don't have any of the mannerisms and behavior of a woman so I've kind of given up on the idea.

Jaime

[susie evans]

some day's or night's i look better than others i used to worry about being noticed or the commints but now i'm just happy to be alive and able to get out , it's hell to get old

hug's susie

[Aprilrain]

Passing is very important to me, so important that I just spent $$,$$$ on FFS (my avatar is pre FFS) it's nice to compliment each other on our looks but pictures lie! I could take the same pic from a profile angle and you would see a very different person. most people look at you when you're NOT looking at them ie. profile. So it impossible for us to say someone looks passable just by looking at a low quality photo taken in good light at just the right angle.
Here's the deal, let's face it, most TSes don't pass even after a year or more on hormones! Which is why so many of us blow life savings on FFS. I have heard even the most militant "your not a woman until SRS" TSes say they would spend the money on FFS before SRS. I'm sure there are some young CDs out there blessed with youth and a lack of masculine features who could blow it out of the water but they are the acception not the norm. I've seen some seriously hot and totally passable drag queens but think about how much time they spend on makeup and all the padding they use! For the average CD passing is a fantasy. besides as someone else pointed out you probably don't want to wear what most woman wear on a daily basis anyway. Just dress appropriately and be confident believe in yourself. Most people are to concerned with their "to do" list to notice you and the rest are just polite or don't care.

[~Joanne~]

When the time comes that I start venturing out into the real world, I certainly do want to pass. My GF told me the one time we did go out on halloween that it was scary how much I looked like my sister, so passing may be possible for me though when I look into the mirror I see a different story.

The very last thing I want to do is "look and see what the other GG's are wearing" because slippers and sweats don't interest me as part of My wardrobe.

Joanne

[linda allen]

When the time comes that I start venturing out into the real world, I certainly do want to pass. My GF told me the one time we did go out on halloween that it was scary how much I looked like my sister, so passing may be possible for me though when I look into the mirror I see a different story.

The very last thing I want to do is "look and see what the other GG's are wearing" because slippers and sweats don't interest me as part of My wardrobe.

Joanne
If you really want to pass, you will wear what's appropriate for the place, time, and season. For example, if you go to a city park in the daytime wearing 5" heels, a mini skirt, and nightclub makeup, you will call attention to yourself and most likely be seen as a crossdresser.

On the other hand, if you go to the park in flats or sneakers, slacks or sweatpants, and just enough makeup to cover your beard plus a little lipstick and perhaps light eye makeup (or just sunglasses), your chances of passing increase dramatically.

Save the 5" heels and mini skirt for night club wear.