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View Full Version : Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!



sandra-leigh
01-20-2012, 12:14 AM
"Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face..."

Atch, my face still isn't pretty. My gender therapist claims my face has changed a fair bit, but I can't say I've noticed. Doesn't seem to be rounded out yet; I'd almost say less so. But maybe my chin isn't quite as sharp as it once was.

But life goes on anyhow.

I am getting called "m'am" on the streets more, at least by the people begging for money, but they usually change to "sir" when they see my face. The street "m'am" is perhaps helped by the quite female winter coat I've been wearing lately (including to work), but the street people didn't call me that when I was wearing it last year.

The second last time I was at one of the places at the local food court, the (male) owner called me "m'am" until I spoke and then it was "sir". But the last time I was there, two days ago, he called me "m'am" twice even after I spoke.

Yesterday I had a taxi driver who consistently called me "m'am" even though I spoke.

Being m'am'd two days in a row by two different people is a new record for me. Both times I was in my going-to-work clothes, not a dress or skirt. So people are interpreting me as female more now, it seems. Either that or they just go by that winter coat :heehee:

Tonight... tonight was pleasant. I had coffee with an GG acquaintance I had been briefly introduced to at TDOR, and had been commenting to on FB since. Nice woman, interesting, and it was an eclectic chat with no agenda, just two people who enjoy each other's company talking.

At one point, I gestured to myself, long hair, earrings, and a slinky top that showed off what bust I have, and I said to her that my workplace still hasn't figured out that I am trans. She paused and blinked, looking surprised, drew back a little, paused and blinked again, said a "Huh?", shifted in her seat a bit, started to talk and stopped, blinked again, and started talking in a definitely apologetic tone and expression suggestive that she was about to say something a bit unpleasant but honest. I thought she was going to point out that I don't look trans, but instead what she said in a plaintive voice was approximately, "I don't understand... how could they not... I'm sorry, but I mean that you look like a lady."

Well, that made my week :o :) Not only the compliment about looking like a lady, but that she was so surprised that what was obvious to her had not been figured out by now by my workplace. I must be further along than I thought.

Have we got an icon for cloud-walking? :D

Melody Moore
01-20-2012, 02:39 AM
That is great Sandra. It is nice to know you are being accepted for who you really are.

I don't know if it is me, or just where I live, but I have never been 'sired' or otherwise
addressed as a male since I started transition, even when my voice wasn't the best. But
I have always felt very comfortable & confident and believe that I do express myself well
as a female, especially now my voice is getting a lot better which has really helped a lot.

Recently I have been getting approached a lot more by guys when I have been in the supermarket
doing my shopping. It seems that they never know where anything is, or how to find what they need.
but what I find is they start asking other questions, like "How has your day been?" and I even had one
cheeky guy asked me what I was doing that night! So something must have changed while personally I
do struggle myself to see what others are seeing in me now.

Jorja
01-20-2012, 05:58 AM
That is great Sandra. It is nice to know you are being accepted for who you really are.

I don't know if it is me, or just where I live, but I have never been 'sired' or otherwise
addressed as a male since I started transition, even when my voice wasn't the best. But
I have always felt very comfortable & confident and believe that I do express myself well
as a female, especially now my voice is getting a lot better which has really helped a lot.

Recently I have been getting approached a lot more by guys when I have been in the supermarket
doing my shopping. It seems that they never know where anything is, or how to find what they need.
but what I find is they start asking other questions, like "How has your day been?" and I even had one
cheeky guy asked me what I was doing that night! So something must have changed while personally I
do struggle myself to see what others are seeing in me now.

It could be that bacon cheese burger you keep in your purse attracting them, Melody. ;)

Melody Moore
01-20-2012, 07:04 AM
Ewwwww!!!! :puke: you really had to say that didn't you Jorga? I could not think of anything worse. I stopped
eating bacon & cheese a long time ago because of my gall bladder problems and just the mere thought of it
now makes me start to feel sick. No joke. So your racid description has really just churned my stomach. Thanks :(

Jorja
01-20-2012, 04:30 PM
Ewwwww!!!! :puke: you really had to say that didn't you Jorga? I could not think of anything worse. I stopped
eating bacon & cheese a long time ago because of my gall bladder problems and just the mere thought of it
now makes me start to feel sick. No joke. So your racid description has really just churned my stomach. Thanks :(

Sorry if I made you sick Melody that was not the intent. One of the fast food companies had a rather funny commercial about the subject not too long ago. Again sorry!

Traci Elizabeth
01-20-2012, 09:21 PM
As the days, weeks, and months pass it will become common place for you and you will not even take note of them saying ma'am too you because in your heart you will know "what else would they be calling me...I am a woman!"

sandra-leigh
01-20-2012, 10:21 PM
I really don't quite know why it is getting important to me, but I am getting closer to answering to people that I am not a "sir". Like this evening, wearing the same winter coat mentioned before, bundled up from the cold, I got in a taxi, and the driver called me "Sir" all the way. I am no longer positive about the exact timing, whether the first "Sir" was before or after I first spoke ("Just give me a moment to get things settled"), but it wasn't just once or twice. I do not mean that the driver "aggressively Sir'd" me, more like the driver was not taking in to account that someone with long hair and wearing a nice fur coat might not appreciate being called Sir.

I did mentally flirt with the idea of not tipping and saying something as I got out -- but I reserve not tipping for blatant bad driving or blatant taking the long route.

M'am is pleasant, but I am okay with no gender being used. But come on, there's someone in front of you clearly dressed on the female side, don't assume that they surely want to be called "Sir". When in doubt, drop the gendered pronoun.

Mind you, when I look at the situation another way, perhaps I should not be as upset. If people look at me, with what would stereotypically be a female presentation, and they are not startled or afraid or revolted or concerned, and do not find it "odd" -- then the implication would be that local society is relatively comfortable for people to wear whatever gender of clothes they prefer, without judging gender by the clothes.

Julia_in_Pa
01-22-2012, 02:59 PM
Sandra,

Congat's on the nice compliments your receiving.

It is very ego boosting to say the least. :O)


Julia