Not sure what to do.

[Jessie29]

I feel as if i have 2 minds. A male and a female.

They seam to fight constantly for what is "right" and "wrong". My Male mind tells me "this is wrong you shouldn't be doing this, you are hurting people!" Then my Female mind says "Do it. It makes you happy so why stop?"


I feel like I am in between a rock and a hard place :/

:( x

[J'lyn GG]

I think you may be mistaken. It's your male mind telling you not to stop, regardless of others feelings. Your female mind is reminding you that you are hurting people. Just my thought. I, also, feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, if that makes you feel better. :D

[Karren H]

I think you may be mistaken. It's your male mind telling you not to stop, regardless of others feelings. Your female mind is reminding you that you are hurting people. Just my thought. I, also, feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, if that makes you feel better. :D

Yeah... That's so true... Sometimes we can't tell who's voice is who's? Don't think I've ever had two voices before... But I've felt the same anguish over "what's wrong with me". Took a long time to get past it but finally I just accepted it as part of me, something that's not going away and embraced it and moved on...

And being an underground coal miner I've literally been trapped between and rock and a hard place! Lol.

[kimdl93]

Are you hurting people? If so, who and how?

[Jenniferathome]

Who are you hurting?

I firmly believe that crossdressing is a genetic trait, like being gay. We can't change it but we can talk about it with those we love.

[RenneB]

You're just gealous that the voices in my head only talk to me.... LOL. Let's see, you not thinking about robbin a bank or jackin a car or stealing something, but somewhere inside you is a voice that says hey, I feel good in those clothes. That's the voice I listen to. I know the consequences of what I'm doing if I'm caught and cover my tracks pretty well. I don't speed, too much, I don't go through red lights and I'm basically minding my own business...

I do what feels right for me and that's all I can offer you Jessie....

Renne.....

[jillleanne]

Do what I did long ago. Accept who you are completely and introduce the two minds and allow them to become best friends. Life will blossom each day afterwards. The world around you may change, but only for the better.

[JessHaust]

The voice telling that 'It's wrong' and 'You're hurting people' is not you, it's society.
It's not easy, but you can learn to ignore it, and then you will feel better.

[Foxglove]

I feel as if i have 2 minds. A male and a female.

They seam to fight constantly for what is "right" and "wrong". My Male mind tells me "this is wrong you shouldn't be doing this, you are hurting people!" Then my Female mind says "Do it. It makes you happy so why stop?"



The part of my mind telling me it was wrong was definitely male. Not society's voice, but my dad's. And since I'm virtually a clone of him, mine. It was the other part of me that was telling me I loved it and that it harmed no one. I eventually decided to listen to my better half.

[diannecourtney]

Its not a rock amd a hard place, its male genitiles and female ovaries and just a great desire for what to have. I for one would desire the latter.

[KellyJameson]

No one goes through life without hurting others, this is a given so the question for those with a conscious is to learn when it is justified and how to protect oneself with a minimum of harm to others. We make promises without understanding the full implications of what we promise often caught up in forces far beyond our own understanding with the resultant guilt and remorse all the while drowning in the acids of our own desperation seeking escape into a bottle or other methods of drowning the pain of not being true to ourselves. Guilt is a good thing because it is the first step toward genuine empathy but it is based on fear as much as love and has the potential to enslave as much as free. Only an extremely sick or an extremely healthy person does not experience guilt, the challenge is to move from the sick towards the healthy and this is not possible until a person understands what it really means to accept and love themselves and by doing so this love than like water flows forth bathing everyone in its warmth because it is real and not exploitive. This takes a huge investment of time and energy because we have to unlearn before we can begin to learn, let go before we aquire and always fear stands in the way.

We live within the duality of pain and pleasure experienced through the body (senses) into the mind or separate and only of the mind (abstract)

We seek to escape pain and pursue pleasure by design but this very design causes pain because we seek to escape ourselves which is impossible, so it becomes a question of pain and what to do with it. We become caught in a moral dilemma of seeking escape from one pain inside of ourselves (gender dysporia/emotional damage, fractured identity,being real,self discovery?) but causing pain for others who we care about and inturn ourselves.

Life than becomes a question of sacrifice of us or another and to what degree and for what purpose.
For myself crossdressing is who I am and not what I do so I recognized that it is as much a part of me as my skin color and by itself is morally benign and harms no one but allows some to use it as an excuse for their harm because of how they react to it and I see that as their prejudices.

We`must balance what we hold ourselves responsible for against the understanding that much of what we are is not by our own hands but by circumstance of birth and environment. There is a difference between doing evil and the birth pains of becoming a unique one of a kind, fully human sentient being which is only possible through taking risks in a environment that allows freedom of expression. Only when we are wholly formed do we than know what we can offer willingly to another, until than it is more a question of survival and appetites which is the domain of the child within us and as such a measure of self forgiveness should be served up.

It is not a question if crossdressing is right or wrong by others standards but by your own and the only way to answer this is by learning who you are and why you do it. Everything has the potential to heal or to harm it is a question of balance as much as respect for life, yours and others. Life is a problem of conflicting needs and wants in relation to others as much as within ourselves and everyone makes mistakes in finding balance between these conflicting needs. Life is messy and we are imperfect moving toward perfection without any hope of reaching this goal but we must try otherwise life is meaningless.

[whowhatwhen]

I can tell you this, keep repressing it and you'll end up with more problems down the line.
That actually goes for just about anything we have no control over.

[Krististeph]

The ability to hold two, mutually exclusive ideas in your head at the same time requires a significant intellect. Although you feel bad when you look at one idea from the point of view of the other, and vice versa, you are working on a problem that does not necessarily have a right or wrong solution. Personally, I don't see how you could be hurting anyone else by having a female outlook. Perhaps the answer is neither- I look at myself as neither male or female: i was not raised as a girl, so no matter how much crossdressing i do, even if i had SR surgery, my youth was that of a boy. But then, not really a boy either because i had strong female yearnings- I'm a crossdresser, or a transgendered person- Who says there can only be two possible answers? Even male or female sex organs- sometimes kids are born with both- if nature says you can have a third (or more options) than who are we to say otherwise?

Think about how you might be able to take advantage of having more than one viewpoint- and being able to compare the two.

Hope this helps- hang in there.

[stacycoral]

The voice telling that 'It's wrong' and 'You're hurting people' is not you, it's society.
It's not easy, but you can learn to ignore it, and then you will feel better.

Girl i think we all have gone through this one time or another,