maamed again

[vetobob9]

The first time I was referred to as a she was when one of my nephews referred to me as a she a long long time ago.

Since moving to my new location and growing my hair out, I have had it happen a couple of times. Each time, realizing their mistake people would apologize.
A couple times people did not realize their mistake. Usually it is men who maam me. But recently women have begun doing it to. There was a mother with her child who maamed me evening but then quickly apologized when she realized I was biologically a man.
Honestly though, it really does not matter to me if I am referred to as a sir or maam.
But more people, both men and women have begun maaming me even though I am dressed in male clothing and not in fem attire, not underdressed and not wearing breast forms.

What are you experiences with this? Are you offended if they call you sir or maam? Or do you not have a preference? I think if you are comfortable with who you are, it should not matter which term people use to refer to you. But it is nice to know that many people are sensitive to the feelings of others. As evidenced by people apologizing, apparently thinking they had insulted me or something by referring to me with the wrong gender pronoun.

[paulaprimo]

its funny you brought this up cause it just happened to me tonight, again!! first off i have real long hair. i was in drab mode with my SO having dinner in a local restaurant. the waitress came up from behind me and said "are you ladies ready to order". this happens a lot, especially when they come up from behind me. it does embarrass me when i with other people, but deep down i think i actually like it. i usually say "excuse me" to the waitress and my SO usually just laughs. i'm still in the closet and my SO has no clue. it happens mostly in restaurants, but also in bars, gas stations and even in the salon. when i'm alone and they say it, i kinda enjoy it and enjoy how embarassed they get. they usually can't apoligize enough. one time i even got a free dessert. made me want to go home and throw on a dress...lol but my biggest fear is when i finally go out as paula, and hearing "are you ready to order sir" lol

[Joan_CD]

As my hair gets longer I find it happens to me alot. And as Paula said mainly when they approach from the rear. I chuckle when my wife and I are in a resteraunt and a waitress comes up and says... "hi ladies and welcome". In order to save them embarrassment I just make believe I didn't hear it.

[linda allen]

If people mistake me for a female when I'm presenting as a female, that's great, that's my goal.

In "boy" mode, they will not make that mistake.

[kimdl93]

I've had it both ways. Most of the time, I presume I am "maamed" as a courtesy by people who realize I'm GM. But I like to entertain the notion that in some rare instances they really don't notice. Some months ago, for example, I was at a local pet spa arranging boarding for our dogs. I was en femme, but casual, wearing a red knit top with 3/4 sleeves, jeans and sandals. The lady at the counter referred to me as maam, and again referred to me as "she" talking with my vet to confirm a vaccination.

[Launa]

Congratulations to you. This would never happen to me in male mode and it might never happen in female mode either. lol

[StephanieC]

I agree, I think it's the long hair, view from the back, that promotes this reaction. Frankly, though, I'm getting to the point where I'm miffed if they call me 'sir'. For me, courteous behavior would be just fine...a gender reference is not required.

[Nikki A.]

In drab it's sir always, dressed it's maam usually, but I know it's as a courtesy in that I don't really think I pass that well. But really I don't care, I do what I do for me not for anyone else.

[Misti]

Sadly that will never happen in this lifetime for me, the hairline is receeding too much now, coupled with my fine, baby, prettty (so I'm told) gray hair.

Then, too, for that very reason, that's why I love my Misti wig so much that blends in with the real me - plus it certainly makes up for a lot of my other male facial faults, as well.

Congrats on your very good fortune, VB... Cherish it as "long" (pun intended) as you can.

L&R

[kristinacd55]

Well, when im in drab there's no confusion. But, when im Kristina? I'm maamed all the time. Great feeling!

[Beverley Sims]

When I get Maamed I consider it a bonus,
I do worry when I am dressed and sometimes I feel I was read.
That happens only rarely now.

[Allisa]

Your story just brought back an incident years ago;I was in the hospital for my appendix removal,it had been 2 days and I needed a shower so afterwards I sat on my bed facing away from the other bed occupied by an elderly man just brushing my mid back lenght hair when his family came in to visit and before they could close the curtain divider his wife asked "I did't know this room was co-ed",I did'nt turn or say a word but the instant explanation from the others was priceless.Plus I'm always getting honked at walking down the street from behind.And I am far from femme when in Al mode.I think it's some kind of aura we exude,or it could just be the hair.

Allisa.

[Nicole Erin]

I think it's some kind of aura we exude,or it could just be the hair.

Allisa.

Aura mostly.

I believe people are finally getting accepting. if you present as a woman, pass or not, most people will have the decency to call you by the desired pronouns.

[pattysues]

It's happened to me quite a few times. The best one was when me, my wife and daughter were shopping as we walked up to the check out. The cashier says "Hello ladies". I guess it could happen easy enough. My hair is long almost mid back with straight bangs and I only have womens jeans. And I usally have on a fitted jacket or hoodie when it's cold or chilly.

[Daphne Renee]

if enfemme I want to be reffered to in the femme pronoun but really it doesnt bother me either way. I have told people I have been called worse so if maam is the worst name they call me then thats great

[joanna marie]

I had started growing my hair out and it was touching the top of my shoulders
my wife and I were seated at our table , I was in drab
the waitress aproached us seeing my wife and just my back
as she came up she said " what can I get you ladies to drink"

I thought it was great ,my wife laughed and all was well
my wife did not know about my CDing then It wouldn't be so funny to her now

[PretzelGirl]

There are so many possibilities, you can't be sure. Long hair is certainly one and how you present and carry yourself can be another. But remember, SAs and restaurant staff can be quite busy, so it is easy to not be paying enough attention. I was checking out at a Ross once when I had short hair and a beard. I was in the middle of a line of ladies and I was buying a dress. The SA addressed me as ma'am. I looked at the lady behind me and she was getting quite a chuckle out of it and it made me crack up. It was likely that she was in a flow of a bunch of ladies and when picking up a dress, she just didn't pay attention. Just too much of a hurry.

[AnitaH]

It happened to me just recently. My wife and I were in a restaurant, twice the waitress referred to us as ladies before she realized her mistake. I was in drab but she had seen me only from the back. My hair is kinda short only coming down to just below the top of the ears but my wife's hair is shorter. So I can see how that might have looked.

AnitaH

[JenniferLynn0370]

It happened to me just yesterday morning when I was paying for breakfast at IHOP! I was wearing a sort of form fitting zip-up sweater, my tight jeans and hat with pretty cursive writing that doesn't look exactly masculine...but was otherwise in drab. As I was paying at the counter, the young lady there and I spoke for a minute or two about the weather and how we thought it was going to be a nice day. As she handed me my change she looked me in the eye with a pleasant smile and said "Ok, thank you ma'am and have a beautiful day!" I just smiled and thanked her very much and left on cloud nine!! That has happened to me before but it's been a while. I just LOVE it!!!

[kimmy p]

Happens to me several times per week. Secretly I love it. I have permed hair, and wear hoop earrings and have found that most people don't look much further than that. worst thing is,,,, the only time I don't seem to pass is when I try too... Sigh.