Inna
01-21-2012, 12:37 PM
It had been a life time and at lest one year from the date everyone learned about my transsexuality. First as a child the wishful thinking was to wake up the day after and magically be her. Well, I lost my believe in magic quite fast. Hope was replaced with dread and so the life went on. after 42 years of status quo forces beyond my control provided a solution and I outed my self first to ME, and then 2 years later to everyone around.
Even when realizing that my life shall encompass transsexuality as an everyday reality realistic thoughts of 100% passing were more a dream then near or far future after all how can you make this brute 227lbs, 6'1'' male into a soft, feminine, hip swagging lady.
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-fCIAN71MuRw/TxrxDDGtRUI/AAAAAAAAC1Y/4WHFvOL5lag/s400/Picture%252520011.jpg
But despite the nagging reality I somehow felt the internal voice saying "you can do anything, all it takes is everything" and so I did, to the point that in the process if such kills me so be it!
I had achieved a great body surviving days on 700 calorie diet, I lost muscle mass as well as fat, astonishing I had lost height from 6'1'' to 5' 11'' :eek: and my body started to resemble curvature of a female.
All that was fine but one thing which kept resonating was the image of my face, a dead give away! Once again, "if you shall ask, you shall receive" and despite of being totally broke, people who love me started to land me money for FFS. I had found a surgeon who thinks like me, who approaches life like me, and who puts kindness and spirit in the first place.
I had FFS surgery on November 18th 2011, my new birthday :)
I am still astonished by the fact that after 2 months post-op I walk the corridors looking at people looking at me but this time they glimpse smile and look their way as though nothing out of ordinary is happening. When engaged in the conversation, I KNOW, that they know they are talking to a woman and not a transwoman. I get an occasional big smile from gentlemen, you know that smile :heehee: and feel like a million dollar diva.
Last night I got a complement from a woman in the club who approached me and whispered to my ear "you are so gorgeous"
It all seems surreal, but so wonderful and yet slowly so NORMAL :idontknow:
It is an amazing feeling to be taken as someone you truly are, To Be Normal, I know....all that pain and suffering to please some passers by? but NO it isn't about them or in fact it isn't about the world outside but my essence of what I feel is a reflection of true self in the mirrors pane, the reaffirmation and assertion of body and mind connect as whole.
I can't express the feeling I experience, it is mesmerizing and I hope when long into my new life that I never forget this feeling I had done so much for and all the people who shared in my misery and caught me from falling including girls here at the forum.
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-iaaIVyTzolY/Txr3bJYbmqI/AAAAAAAAC1k/MpzqKe1wePY/s400/inna%2525202012%252520clr.jpg
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-rrd-2XVNr0w/Txr3a046sbI/AAAAAAAAC1g/79KnfNzV2jc/s400/2012-01-17%25252013.50.47.jpghttps://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-syx9ksn0DmQ/Txr3bCC6bRI/AAAAAAAAC1o/1mFGbfX5RSA/s400/post%252520ffs%252520CLEAN.jpg
Love Inna.
Even when realizing that my life shall encompass transsexuality as an everyday reality realistic thoughts of 100% passing were more a dream then near or far future after all how can you make this brute 227lbs, 6'1'' male into a soft, feminine, hip swagging lady.
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-fCIAN71MuRw/TxrxDDGtRUI/AAAAAAAAC1Y/4WHFvOL5lag/s400/Picture%252520011.jpg
But despite the nagging reality I somehow felt the internal voice saying "you can do anything, all it takes is everything" and so I did, to the point that in the process if such kills me so be it!
I had achieved a great body surviving days on 700 calorie diet, I lost muscle mass as well as fat, astonishing I had lost height from 6'1'' to 5' 11'' :eek: and my body started to resemble curvature of a female.
All that was fine but one thing which kept resonating was the image of my face, a dead give away! Once again, "if you shall ask, you shall receive" and despite of being totally broke, people who love me started to land me money for FFS. I had found a surgeon who thinks like me, who approaches life like me, and who puts kindness and spirit in the first place.
I had FFS surgery on November 18th 2011, my new birthday :)
I am still astonished by the fact that after 2 months post-op I walk the corridors looking at people looking at me but this time they glimpse smile and look their way as though nothing out of ordinary is happening. When engaged in the conversation, I KNOW, that they know they are talking to a woman and not a transwoman. I get an occasional big smile from gentlemen, you know that smile :heehee: and feel like a million dollar diva.
Last night I got a complement from a woman in the club who approached me and whispered to my ear "you are so gorgeous"
It all seems surreal, but so wonderful and yet slowly so NORMAL :idontknow:
It is an amazing feeling to be taken as someone you truly are, To Be Normal, I know....all that pain and suffering to please some passers by? but NO it isn't about them or in fact it isn't about the world outside but my essence of what I feel is a reflection of true self in the mirrors pane, the reaffirmation and assertion of body and mind connect as whole.
I can't express the feeling I experience, it is mesmerizing and I hope when long into my new life that I never forget this feeling I had done so much for and all the people who shared in my misery and caught me from falling including girls here at the forum.
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-iaaIVyTzolY/Txr3bJYbmqI/AAAAAAAAC1k/MpzqKe1wePY/s400/inna%2525202012%252520clr.jpg
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-rrd-2XVNr0w/Txr3a046sbI/AAAAAAAAC1g/79KnfNzV2jc/s400/2012-01-17%25252013.50.47.jpghttps://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-syx9ksn0DmQ/Txr3bCC6bRI/AAAAAAAAC1o/1mFGbfX5RSA/s400/post%252520ffs%252520CLEAN.jpg
Love Inna.