Lost that Lovely feeling

[Allisa]

I've just found my old collection of thoughts and feelings,a journal of sorts from 30 yrs. past.Those dreams and wishes for my merging and acceptanceof my femme self have come to fruition,I have altered my body as much as I wish to the femme side;shaved total body,grown nails,softened skin,etc...I have my wardrobe and all the amenities to satisfy that half of my being,yet that "feeling"that" need" to get to this point has gone and become quite routine.I fear that I have lost that "Lovely" feeling.I have gone out a few times for short drives and an occasional walk in the park,daytime allways,safety first above all,have bought clothes in stores but find it to be more of a"sideshow" than anything of significant pleasure,I guess my masc. side rules the shopping gene,something neccesary not mandatory.I am not saying that I don't enjoy getting dressed as "Lisa",but the anticipation of the physical transformation has gone.How can I submerge that part of me that is now set in stone,so that I get that forbidden excitement back in my life?Well thanks to everyone for letting me just vent outloud so to speak.

(Al)Lisa.

[JenniferR771]

The urge to look pretty comes and goes. Don't push yourself. Let it happen when it happens. Soon you will probably be seeking new horizons and new challenges to boldly go where you have never been before.

[Ava Tryptyk]

I guess you could try going to a location you haven't gone before while dressed. Or you could try wearing a different type of clothing that you haven't worn before, at least to be more adventurous. You don't need to wear it outside of the house if you aren't comfortable with it, of course.

[Misti]

How can I submerge that part of me that is now set in stone,so that I get that forbidden excitement back in my life? Well thanks to everyone for letting me just vent outloud so to speak. (Al) Lisa.

Whoa there, girl. You are at a very dangerous point in your life. Case in point and an excellent example: Lil ‘ol Moi! :battingeyelashes:

I had come to about the same conclusion(s) you have, only for me it was at the tender age of 30. Imagine this, if you can? I was totally, irrevocably convinced that "I had done everything I had ever wanted to do in this life except three (3) things": 1) I didn't have a college degree (Which BTW #1 I was getting my first one at that time); 2) I didn't have a son (BTW #2 To this day I'm still not altogether sure that that is true, or not?); and, 3) I couldn't even remember what it was (BTW #3 Then, OR EVEN NOW?), it was so insignificant in the scheme of things then, and yet to come?. :Angry3:

Moral to story: I effectively lost five (5) more of the most productive years of my life just by thinking, living (this Lie) and foolishly believing such "TOMMY-ROT!" True story.

So, you're very lucky, Lisa (BTW #4 Get rid of that Al guy :brolleyes:), to get this slap in the face, and/or kick in the behind, plus an admonition to "Get yourself a Goal, ANY LONG-TERM GOAL (preferably a great sex partner), and get with it ASAP" There's more, lots more, Lisa, please PM me if this doesn't hit you where your “little girl” resides, because if not, you definitely do need a stronger kick in the A$$? :devil:

L&R
M.

[Allisa]

Misty I can not get rid of that Al guy it is a part of me I was born with and enjoy,it was "his"determination and dedication that helped Lisa to grow and be a apart of this human being.When I sign of the way I did it is because Al is doing the writing.I know this duality can sometimes be confusing.

Lisa.

[kimdl93]

I know that when we are young, there's a greater excitement and anticipation assocaited with expressing our feminine selves. Maybe its endorphins or arrousa...whatever. But with time, any thing that we do frequently, will to some extent feel "routine". Its really not so bad....Isn't there also satisfaction in knowing that this is no longer a forbidden or hidden activity. No, its not a rush...but like a long happy marriage, the initial thrill may fade just a bit, but its replaced by a deeper and enduring affection.

[Laura912]

There is a thread I started started about dressing more as one aged. Most of the older (over 60) seemed to do more because of time, finances etc. But what I interpret from your statement is the lack of excitement and anticipation ini dressing which could be a definite age related thing and or a temporary state? How long has this been going on? Kim has a nice take on this.
Laura

[Jenniferathome]

Allisa,

I think it is natural that over time your feelings about dressing will change. As I suggested in another post, for me, the anticipation of dressing used to rule the day, then the act of dressing was the thrill but now, when I dress, I feel pretty and that makes me feel good. I still enjoy choosing my outfit and trying different combinations of accessories, but sexual excitement has been replaced with calm. I still get nervous when I go out because I want to blend in well and my confidence is limited, but thatnisnyet another challenge to overcome. If you really feel you are just going through the motions, as we say, then stop for a time and dress only when you feel like it. Good luck

[Allisa]

Thanks to all for your insight,I think that my reading of the thoughts of a much younger person kind of got me thinking of the passage of time and it hit kind of hard.One would have to read my journal to understand how it influenced the meaning of my post.Sorry if I could not express my quandry in writing to it's full extent.

As always Lisa.

[Misti]

Misty I can not get rid of that Al guy it is a part of me I was born with and enjoy,it was "his"determination and dedication that helped Lisa to grow and be a apart of this human being.When I sign of the way I did it is because Al is doing the writing.I know this duality can sometimes be confusing. Lisa.
Lisa, "me. too!" I can't and don't want to get rid of the male me. I love being able to flip the switch ON or OFF at "my beck and call" - I flip the switch, no one else can do that for me. YES! :D

Now, Al, get her back in the saddle again and get back to having all that fun we CD's can have; fun that can't be duplicated any other way - "having the best of both worlds." Oh! Oh! She just flipped the switch on me, Al, gotta gooooo :devil: