Making myself dress when I don't feel like it.

[Bluesman]

Lately I've been making myself dress when I don't really want to. Part of it, I think, is because my wife, while she knows about my CDing and has tried to accept and participate, is not comfortable seeing me dressed, so I feel like I can only dress when she's not around. So I've kind of decided I should dress whenever she's out, even if I don't really feel like it. Part of it also, I think, is that I have this idea that if I make myself dress more than I "want" to, then I'll maybe habituate to dressing and I won't want to do it as much. Mind games, I know. I was home alone today and got dressed in panties, bra, forms, skirt & blouse, heels, lipstick, earrings as soon as she left for work, and honestly, I couldn't wait for her to call to say she was on her way home so I could take them all off. She was only home for a little while before going out to the theatre with a friend, so as soon as she left I made myself get dressed again, thinking "I don't really feel like doing this." (Kind of like going to the gym when you don't feel like it...) Now, though, after a couple of hours, I'm really happy being dressed, and I'm wishing I wouldn't have to change when she calls before coming home. But I will. Does anyone else experience anything like this?

[Ava Tryptyk]

I can't say I have, because my dressing opportunities are so infrequent that I seize the moment whenever I can. But I guess what you could do is take pictures of yourself when you dress so that nothing "goes to waste". That is, when you feel yourself in a more femme mood later on you can look back at the pictures you took and be glad that you took them.

[prene]

Never had that issue.

I always feel like being feminine and dressing.

I have never had to force myself to dress, I do force myself to dress as a GUY. LOL

[Jacqueline Winona]

I have, and understnad the "take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself" thinking. This is an important part of who you are, but you want to enjoy it, it shouldn't feel like a job to get dressed unless you want it to (like if you're trying to stay dressed for an extended period of time, etc.) You know yourself better than anyone, so don't worry, you'll know if you are forcing yourself to do something as opposed to pushing yourself. Hope that helps (and makes sense)

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, Blues. I have "windows" when I can dress. Sometimes when a window arrives, I'm just not feeling up for the 3 to 5 hour dressing effort I have been planning for the last 2 or 3 weeks! However, after living thru an OPPOSITE period. When I dressed at EVERY opportunity, day or nite, with even one hour available, I deal with it!

I either just say to heck with it this time!

Or, I'll just start looking thru the gear I've prepared up to that point. Invariably, I'll get mentally involved in the transformation, become excited, forget about whatever else I was going to do, and dress!

[Julie8181]

My interest in dressing comes and goes every couple of months, and while sometimes I wonder if I would be "more" of a crossdresser if I did it on a consistent basis, I try to go with the flow and not dwell on it. I don't have an SO at the moment, so I'm not sure how I would behave in your situation. My instinct tells me that someone shouldn't make themselves dress if they don't feel like it, though. Dressing should be something that you enjoy rather than make yourself do. You may not feel like it for a while, but you will definitely be interested in it again at some point. You also don't necessarily have to feel obligated to dress a certain way, either. Alot of the times I'll dress in casual clothing - such as women's PJs - if I'm hanging out at home.

[~Joanne~]

I have never forced myself to dress. I don't think as a CD there is a rule that the minute your home alone you run to the stash. Yesterday I did not feel like bothering with it so I didn't. I go with the flow depending on my mood and I fortunately have alot of time to dress when I do feel like it :)

[Karren H]

I had a 3 month period a few years back where the desire just faded. We'll the opportunity came up so I took a vacation day an took an enfemme trip. 24 straight hours. Out and about... Hotel and casino an it was fun though I wasn't totally into it like I usually am. After that I started dressing regularly...

[daviolin]

Sounds like a thread that I would of started. We share the same situation. My wife also doesn't like to see Daviolin. She knows I dress all the time when shes not home. What I started doing was dressing more casual girly. Jeans, flats. nice casual top and sensable wig style. Then go about my daily routine. I get alot done around the house, so she doesn't have to do it when she gets home. I'm retired and she works part time three days a week. So I'm the woman of the house on thoughs three days. And I love it. I used to feel the same way as you about dressing. It seemed like a waste of time after awhile. But now I incorperate my dressing with the daily chores that need to get done. I don't feel bad about it any more. Daviolin

[Marleena]

Never had that issue.

I always feel like being feminine and dressing.

I have never had to force myself to dress, I do force myself to dress as a GUY. LOL

I'm with Prene on this one. My wife does know and she's fine with it. I limit myself though because she married a man.

[Jenniferathome]

Sorry, no. I dress when I want to and when I have time to spend as Jennifer. I would not sacrifice the gym or any of my passions for that. I suggest you dress when your wife gets home and just sit and chat. If she knows, it will be better for her to grow accustomed to the girl you.

[Badtranny]

Can I ask why without anyone taking offense?

I think I can understand the compulsion argument for cross dressing, but why would you force yourself to do something you don't want to do? It's not like going to the gym at all, because that's an activity the requires some repetitive effort, but why wear clothes that you don't want to wear? ...and then wait impatiently to be forced to take them off? Why wait for your wife at all? Just take them off already.

I would really like to hear a few thoughts on this.

[moondog]

I agree with Misty, if you don't want to dress and you're gaining no enjoyment or pleasure from the activity...why dress?

[KrystalA]

I've not had the problem of 'making myself dress', because there is never a time when I don't feel like dressing. :battingeyelashes:

[Nicola2876]

The urge to get all dressed up ebs and flows. If Im just at home I dont want to dress like Im going clubbing. I suppose I just want to dress in skirt and top or maybe leggings. It depends on why you dress I guess

[Allisa]

You might try to dress less like under dressing with panties only etc...,that way you don't need to force yourself,something I don't think I've ever heard of before,no need to go full tilt all the time this way your wife does not have to" see" you dressed.

Lisa.

[NicoleScott]

The idea seems strange to me, to force yourself to dress when you don't have the desire. I go to work every day, even though some days I'd rather not, but that's different. I like to fish, but I never force myself to go when I'm not in the mood. Just doesn't make sense to me.
But, having said that.....
There have been special opportunities to dress - for example, on vacation alone for a week - when I planned a special transformation session, and when the time came my level of desire may not have been at its peak but I did it anyway. Shortly after beginning the process, however, showering, shaving (all), moisturizing, laying out the clothes, getting out the makeup, etc. the level of excitement increased and the session turned out pleasurable as always. I never had the indifference or bummed-out feeling while en femme that you seemed to have experienced.

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Why not just dress how you feel like dressing. Nothing forced will ever bring satisfaction.

[kimdl93]

Its not in my experience, but lots of us have expereinced periods when we just lose interest. Personally, I dress en femme every day, but because I want to, not becauseI feel obliged to do so.

If I were you, I'd just dress how you choose, and dress en femme only when you feel like it.

[Erin24]

you know, i can totaly see not wanting to have to go through all the motions of getting dressed, but doing it because of lacking other oppertuinity. But i find that most of the time its the undressing that i have to force myself into, spending all that time to get dressed seems almost wasted when taking it off. Sometimes i think its easier not dressing than it is having to undress after being en femme, however, if i never had to , i most certinly wouldnt. Then again, who says that i have to do nething i dont want.. I guess its really just a matter of having understanding space either shared, or idepenantly to do whatever it is that makes us happy.. Because as long as im basing when i can and cannot dress on somebody elses schedual, ill probably have a hard time ever feeling comfortable..

[KellyJameson]

Perhaps it is in response to being in a relationship where you control (force) your behavior to bend to anothers wishes? When I have done this it always robs me of enjoyment whether it is spending time with someone when I would rather be alone, having sex not because I want to but to satisfy my partners expectations and or needs, ect... There seems to be a line that when we cross it and give to much of ourselves unwillingly we end up destroying that which gave us pleasure along with the love we felt being and doing. Freedom to be is essential to life and love.

[Lorileah]

I can't make myself do anything. When I do I just rebel and then I don't speak to myself for days. I don't even think about asking for any intimate relationship time, I just won't respond to myself.

We all have different ways of looking at things but if I don't feel like dressing I don't. When I don't feel like dressing I usually have other things to do. Some days I just want to lay around the house in my robe and eat ice cream while watching an old movie.

Personally if I have to force myself to "dress" then I don't really need to dress. It is supposed to be fun and relaxing.

[Tracy - new dresser]

i do the exact same thing but only with my make up, my gf doesnt care at all but im just to emabarrsed to practice in front of her cause im so bad lol. So as soon as she leaves the house im in the bathroom if i like it or not :)

[Princess Chantal]

I have forced myself numerous times to crossdress when I don't really have the desire to do so. However all those times where when I previously committed to a crossdressing based event or had plans to meet up with friend(s) for an outting (dinner, movie or shopping). I can't recall in one instance where I was actually thankfull for the dressing up. Usually, I'd leave the prepping until the last minute (an hour before the event start up time or meet up time) and most often be out of all my girly get up before taking the fifth step into the house once getting back home.
It is very tough to not attend crossdressing events when you are the hostess for most of them

[Hirhwendea]

I think maybe the original question sprung from a desire to break oneself of dressing, so for those of us that are completely comfortable with dressing or feel entitled to do such, this may not make much since. I had a period of about 5 months back in college where I acknowledged both my desire to dress and the fact that it was incompatible with the life I wanted to live and tried to deal with such by "giving myself over" to the desire for an extended period of time to see if it would lose its excitement and therefore it's allure. So for an entire semester I underdressed in panties everyday and 50% of the time wore a bra or all-in-one. I wore ladies' jeans and kept my legs and underarms shaved. I Naired my chest regularly and wore feminine deodorant. I even tried to focus on entertaining myself in typically feminine ways I enjoyed, like, reading Cosmo, Glamour, Marie Claire, etc., romance movies, stories, "pampering" myself, etc. I even ate girly, salads and such (lost weight, too :-) ) When the semester was over I thought it worked. I went home and didn't dress all summer, I think. But the desire came back.

Did the project fail? I don't know. It may not have succeeded in burning the desire out of me, like the parent that makes a child smoke to sickness, but it did offer perspective. I still look back on that time as one of the most desperate times in my life.

So no real solid answers here, but I think life often looks like that in pursuit of understanding. Hopefully this explanation will help clear up what you are pondering, Blues.

[Shananigans]

My SO has put dressing on the back burner lately. I think she's just stressed. But, I had bought her a dress...took over a week for her to put it on. I was doing my nails and saying, "So, are you going to start getting ready soon?" It was weird. And, I encouraged her to dress this month and surprise me but...no surprises unless I initiate. Once she finally dresses, she's happy. Idk what it is, but it's kind of weird.

[Karen Francis]

I can understand the logistics of it all. Wow, I have the opportunity but no the desire. You need to look deeper into the reasons, which you touched on by describing your SO as "tolerating", but not accepting. There are many shades of this attitude which has enormous effect on our feelings towards dressing. You are seeking her approval, it is not forthcoming, and you are dealing with all the issues that surround that.
But, this is supposed to be an enjoyable activity. Don't force anything.

[Bluesman]

My SO has put dressing on the back burner lately. I think she's just stressed. But, I had bought her a dress...took over a week for her to put it on. I was doing my nails and saying, "So, are you going to start getting ready soon?" It was weird. And, I encouraged her to dress this month and surprise me but...no surprises unless I initiate. Once she finally dresses, she's happy. Idk what it is, but it's kind of weird.

Oh, I would so love it if my wife did that for me. If she were to suggest that I get dressed I would do it in a minute, whether I was in a dressing mood or not.

[Taylermade]

I would imagine all of us get this way from time to time. I even get burnt out if anyone can believe that. I have always viewed dressing as a hobby and I think can also be classified as an addiction in some sorts.

[Bluesman]

. I suggest you dress when your wife gets home and just sit and chat. If she knows, it will be better for her to grow accustomed to the girl you.

Well, I tried that before, and it didn't work out. She's just not comfortable seeing me dressed. And I understand that completely, so I don't subject her to it. I don't hide my dressing or my clothes; my skirts and dresses hang in my closet along with my men's clothing, my panties and bras are in my dresser drawers. When I paint my toenails she'll sometime compliment the color and told me to feel free to use her nail colors as well. For Christmas she gave me a gift card to Nordstoms, where she knows I buy most of my women's clothing, with a note to "Get something FUN..." So she's not totally against it, but she has her limits and I try to respect those, even though I'm tempted to do just as you suggest.

[Bluesman]

Can I ask why without anyone taking offense?

I think I can understand the compulsion argument for cross dressing, but why would you force yourself to do something you don't want to do? It's not like going to the gym at all, because that's an activity the requires some repetitive effort, but why wear clothes that you don't want to wear? ...and then wait impatiently to be forced to take them off? Why wait for your wife at all? Just take them off already.

I would really like to hear a few thoughts on this.

No offense taken at all, Melissa. It's not a question of "forcing", that's too strong a word. The analogy of going to the gym is in the sense of doing something that will probably make you feel better, but which at the moment you just don't really feel like doing. Of couse if I really, really, really didn't want to be wearing certain clothes, I wouldn't. I've certainly been in that place, as well. Maybe it's not so much that I don't WANT to dress at a given time, I just may not FEEL like it. Does that make any sense?

[sometimes_miss]

Never had that issue.

I always feel like being feminine and dressing.

I have never had to force myself to dress, I do force myself to dress as a GUY. LOL
^THIS. I have to add lots of letters here to get past the 20 letter minimum.

[diannecourtney]

I would only be forced to dress in drab. The past 3 days have been dealing with dentist ending with a root canal and I visited with girl jeans boots, french nails, and 38c boobs. I don't know whether they were polite or just not aware. Anyway I is most happy to be fully attired.

[Jenniferathome]

...why would you force yourself to do something you don't want to do?
Melissa, I'm with you. The more I have thought about this post, I really got more confused. I absolutely LOVE putting on a dress or skirt/top and heels. I love changing from male to female mode andilook forward to it before I do it. "force" means you don't enjoy it. So stop if you don't enjoy it. I'm just not getting it.

[Traceyjo]

I never dress when my wife is around even though she knows but I never miss an opportunity when she is away. Occasionally I don't really feel the urge to do so but I always do anyway because I always experience the wonderful sense of excitement and pleasure of becoming Tracey once more when I'm fully transformed. It has never diminished over time and I'm so grateful that I continue to enjoy it so much.

[Kaz]

Interesting posts. Try this one... your basic premise is to cross dress 24/7. Male clothes are only what you wear when you have to. So CDing is 'normalised' and male clothes are the exception and not the rule... how soon before CDing is just normal and banal and dressing as a guy becomes the exciting times?

[Beth Mays]

In a way I could identify with this.. If I do not fortify my rights I may well loose them.


Beth

[Launa]

I've had to force myself to dress before but it was usaully because I've had some time off work by myself and I wouldn't have another chance to do it for a while.
I used to dress around the house while the wife had gone out but knew what I was up to. The part that made it tough for me is even though my SO is accepting she is very paranoid of anything going wrong. When I used to dress around the house she would say ok close the blinds, don't get too close to the patio doors, lock all doors, lock the bedroom door, don't answer the phone.... Ok I'm kidding here a bit but when I feel this kind of pressure then I loose all interest. Now if theres any kind of that bad pressure, I loose all interest and either say forget it or have force myself to do it. I'm older now and I will not force myself anymore.

[franlee]

I understand where you are coming from. You have made this a must instead of a pleasure to maximize you opertunities. Been there and tryed it too. Soon I realized it was more work than relaxation or release for the effort. My solution was simple, I looked around at what women do in a coinciding situation. Just dress to feel good, a night gown and house coat with slippers or shorts and t-shirt or just undies. And learn to embrace the simpler side that realy adds to the experiance of feminenity on a daily bases. In other words I found one more reason a woman doesn't understand why we want to dress when it can be so easy.