Nervous as Hell

[Joanne_2003]

I'm thinking of going out for the first time tomorrow for a shopping trip with my SO. I'm very excited but I'm also scared as hell that I might get spotted and outted. I never would have gotten enough courage to even think about going out before joining this forum. Hope I don't chicken out!:confused:

[Sissy Jay]

HI Joanne,
I hope you don't chicken out to. It will be very nerve racking at the beginning of this advanture, but it will get easier as you go during the trip! I started out by going and talking to a lady the owned and worked at an adult gift shop and I was still really scared, but she was so understanding, friendly, totally gave me all the girl talk I needed to be less nervous about my asking for help in an actual store. She told me to come back anytime and us two girls will just talk about girl stuff. She seemed to like having a girlfriend and much as I liked have her to treat me as such. Good luck and happy shopping!
Yours truly, Sissy Jay
OH! by the way the first place I actually tried to do that was Super Walmart and chickened out big time. I was so scared.

[Gunda]

Hi Joanne,
Good luck! I admire your courage and hope everthing goes well. You are much braver than I am at the moment.

Best,
Gunda

[Adrianne]

Joanne good luck.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Just remember, you look in the mirror and you see you. But a wig and make-up are actually a good disguise. Outside the store wear a pair of sunglasses and you're really be unrecognizable (there's a reason celebrities do the sunglasses/baseball hat thing). If you're afraid of being recognized, it also helps to go away from your home turf. Pick a store/mall that's a few towns away and it's really unlikely you're run into anyone you know.

Anyway it's a big step, so have courage. You'll be nervous at first -- that's inevitable -- but with time you'll start to relax. With Halloween, it's an especially good time to for a first outting, at worse people will just assume you're dressed up.

[Vickie]

I have gone out only a couple of times. The first time was on Halloween, what a great holiday we have Canada! It was an excuse to go out for me :-) and I even got whistled at by some guy, walking over to a friends place, that made my day. The second time was when a GG (Genetic Girl) friend and my girlfriend helped me out with me with my makeup for a fun night for me. We drove the friend home and YES I was nervous.

One thing you could always do is head out to a different town etc so if you are nervous about someone knowing you it will be less likely :-)

I live in Victoria BC Canada and I was thinking about one day going to Vancouver and going out as myself Vickie. They also have a support group there too.

Vickie

[Shannon]

Best wishes and good luck. Remember to breathe, slow down, and enjoy yourself!

[Jenny Beth]

Don't worry, you'll do just fine. Being with your SO will make things much easier since people will assume you're a girl too. Most people tend to mind their own business and the odds are you won't even be noticed. Have fun!

[cathy b]

hi joanne
if you were not nervous and ecited were would the fun be.
go have a great time . sounds to me like the rest of the ladies have all ready given you good advice.
like sex the first time is all ways good.
hugs cathy:angel: :angel:

[Phoebe Reece]

Go for it Joanne! You'll get over the nervousness once you are out there for awhile.

[Wendy me]

ok going with your so cool just have fun and enjoy....soon it will not be a big thing to do .....

[Sam-antha]

Joanne be brave, its marvellous, the first time is unforgettable and simply wonderful. That first step or two outside the house and into the street....

Remember to walk tall, no stoop, shoulders back, proud to be the new you out there.
Remember too that already given advice.... what you see in the mittor is what you are used to. what is in the mirror is the other you that no one outside has seen before.

Be Happy and proud of the big step.
Hugs

[Joanne_2003]

I went out and we drove to another town about an hour and a half away, my SO didn't want to be near our home. I went in and we shopped for a long time hitting several stores. I was doing great until about 8 hour into our shopping trip when I was made by two guys. After I went to the car when I looked into the mirror I realized what happened. My 5:00 o'clock shadow was showing through my make-up. If I go out again it will need to be shorter trips (only about 2 hours). Overall Joanne had a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D :) :D :) :D :

[Missy Anne's GG]

Hey Joanne,

That's great! Glad you had a good time and didn't chicken out.

You and your SO are a very courageous couple.

Missy Anne's GG

[Denise01]

Hey Joanne

Glad your day went well for you, and you are so fortunate to have a s/o that is accepting an helpful.

The more you go out the more you will enjoy it. Understand what you say about going out of the area to shop. I usually go an hour to hour and half away too, so I have a lot less chance of bumping into some one I know.

that is why I like to shop on vacation, when I am a quite a way from home


Denise:) :)

[Kimberly]

I'm thinking of going out for the first time tomorrow for a shopping trip with my SO.
Shopping with GGs is easy and liberating!!!

No one bats an eyelid when I go with my friends - they just think you're looking for the GG ;) -- even underwear shopping!

Have fun xx

[Joanne_2003]

She said she was so afraid of what might happen and what people would think of her for being with a CD'er. I never thought of my going out from her standpoint. She was OK after the first store and it got easier for her. She is not very comfortable with it now since I got spotted later in the afternoon and two guys were laughing at me. She said that she felt bad for me and wasn't worried about her own feelings, but......I doubt Joanne will get out any time soon.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

If you think about it, it was very courageous of her. We've at least got the benefit of being in disguise. You might see if she might be interested in getting a wig or otherwise changing her appearance as well -- think of it a chance for her to play dress-up as well.

As far as her not feeling comfortable because you got laughed at, you might let her know that she's going through the same issues with "passing" that we all do. Realistically, we're not going to be mistaken for GGs 100% of the time, and yes some people will gawk and laugh. Like many things in life, if we avoid doing something because we're afraid we might get laughed at, we'd lead very cloistered lives.

It does helps to use this bit of mental jujitsu: if other people treat you just like anyone else, then they're the ones who are passing -- passing the test of tolerance.

[Phoebe Reece]

Joanne,

Good for you for being brave and getting out. Don't let getting "made" slow you down. If it happens again, do what a GG would do when annoyed by some creeps - keep your head high and ignore them.

To keep the 5-O'clock shadow in check, you might bring in your car a battery operated foil head razor. You can give yourself a quick once over with it in the car without ruining your makeup (you will need to reapply powder and maybe a dab of foundation on some spots). They cost less than $ 10.00 in the USA and can be very handy.

[Shannon]

Congratulations Joanne. I'm so happy for you. I must have been so much fun. And to have the support of your SO is a real treasure.

Phoebe -- can you really use an electric razor over makeup without the makeup gumming up the razor heads and the razor making your makeup uneven?

[uknowhoo]

Hi Joanne, congrats on getting out there, quite a rush, eh. Sorry to hear you were made. The same happened to me last week. It's a bit of a drag (pardon the expression), but it's still worth being out and about to me. I hope you and your SO do get out again soon. Hugs, Tammi