So how would you take a compliment??

[Launa]

I will try to make this story short,
I want to try crossdressing in Las Vegas sometime in the near future.
Last week I was in Las Vegas on business so I could not dress but I had my eyes peeled to see if there were any CDers around the casinos either gambling, shopping or whatever and I didn't see any at all.... I was at Paris, MGM, Mirage and Freemont Street, now that might sound a bit creepy but I want to see if there are CDres like me that are there enjoying themselves and not getting hasseled by the public.
On my last day I went to an outlet mall and I was shopping for a bunch of guy clothes at this one store, I went into the line to pay for some things and what do you know there was a fellow CDer right in front of me paying for some clothes.
Now I did not stare because we all know what that is like but I had an incline to stop and ask her something like hey how are you, you look good, nice to see a girl out in public, I'm trying to get the nerve to do it myself, keep it up etc.. but I thought it might seem a little "off or weird" to the CD like I am some kind of admirer.
So my question to you is how would you feel if you didn't pass very well in public and someone stops you and says way to go, keep it up, I'm dying to get out myself etc? Would it give a boost of confidence?

[taís]

while I do understand that you're trying to be supportive, I think it's a little invasive. if you're on a nightclub or something like that, an approach is easier and more accepted; in a mall or other similar place, it's risky. you never know if you wouldn't spoil the day for the other CD by 'outing' her.
I personally would feel very awkward. specially if the compliment comes from a man (even a CD in drab). It would be a boost of confidence if I could end the day thinking "well, no one noticed I wasn't a GG... or at least they didn't told me that in my face!" ;)

[Tanya C]

Personally, I wouldn't mind being approached in this manner as I'm quite comfortable being out while dressed. But There are others who may not exactly be thrilled at the prospect of bring "made" in public by a stranger, especially if they're a first timer. So, I'd advise using caution before acknowledging another cder.

[ArleneRaquel]

It would depend on the manner that the compliment was given

[sissystephanie]

Since my dear wife died almost 7 years ago, I have gone out in public almost everyday dressed as Stephanie. But, I wear no makeup and no wig. So I look like the man that I am, but I am dressed as a female! And I have gotten a lot of compliments on my clothes and the way I look. Oddly enough, I have never had a negative comment made to me!! Most people just don't care that much about others, unless the look really odd. I dress nicely so as not to look too odd!

[KellyJameson]

I usually try to sense how relaxed a person is before I approach them if they do not know me, if they were crossdressed I would be particularly cautious. If I had found myself in your situation I probably would have said something like " Hi I'm from Canada and I was wondering if you would take my picture" or " do you know the city well?, I'm looking for restaurant suggestions"

A neutral conversation that would allow you to see how open they are to talking to you, nothing to personal. If they smile and warmly answer your question than maybe a small complement if you like something about their appearance but use a wait and see approach.

I'm shy by nature and when guys come up to me in public if I'm crossdressed I get nervous because I assume they figured out I'm not a woman and so are angry because my appearance has caused them sexual confusion and brought their homophobic fears to the surface or they are looking for sex and assume all TG/Cds are easy so the first words out of their mouths will strongly affect how I react.

[Daphne Renee]

I dont think I would mind. I suppose it depends on whats said exactly.

[Rachel Morley]

I had an incline to stop and ask her something like hey how are you, you look good, nice to see a girl out in public, I'm trying to get the nerve to do it myself, keep it up etc.. but I thought it might seem a little "off or weird" to the CD like I am some kind of admirer.
Err .... yes, IMHO thats' exactly how I would have felt if I had been the CDer in question. I think that letting a sister know that your read her is fraut with danger.


So my question to you is how would you feel if you didn't pass very well in public and someone stops you and says way to go, keep it up, I'm dying to get out myself etc? Would it give a boost of confidence? No! ... not for me anyways. :(

[AllieSF]

If someone, anyone, approached me to say, "Way to go girl!", I would thank them and continue with the conversation. I like strangers, the stranger the better. However, that is me. I like the approach of just making a regular old comment on the weather, the long line, the slow service, whatever fits the moment. If the person responds appropriately, continue the conversation and leave out the "Way to go girl". Good luck and get your butt out there in the real world if you really want to do that. It is a wonderful place to be and to play.

[Lucy_Bella]

I would leave a fellow CDer alone with no comments .. To me it would be considered an insult that I was spotted especially if I was to have gone through the amount of effort it takes to go out and " pass " to be spotted by one of my own.. I would smile and say hello and leave it at that unless I was provoked to further the conversation.. Just my thoughts .. I would not dare go out in public tho because I know I am no where near " passing "..

[AllieSF]

Lucy you made a good point in that because you do not go out because of fear or whatever valid reason, you have not yet developed the self confidence to just be yourself and stop worrying about what others think. It is not easy, but once you get out there on a regular basis, I think that your point of view may change somewhat. I know that I do not pass. I do blend fairly well, but I am definitely not hiding anything. I have over time gotten to the point where as someone well known from the past would say, "I just don't give a damn, Scarlett". It works for me and could work for you and others who really want to go out. So, back to someone coming up to me. I would enjoy the conversation because I am proud of who I am and how I present myself.

[Jennifer8]

what happens if you do it and it turns out to be a girl? lol

[Rebecca W.]

Plain and simple, Thank you. The more that you say back opens the door to more conversation. You also have to use your judgement as to where the compliment was made and use your natural reaction to the compliment. I also agree that it depends on what gender made the compliment. Like life in general, you can either say too much or not enough for the situation. Use your better judgement and think twice before saying a word. I wish that I could do that more often.:straightface:

[Kate Simmons]

Always well Hon.;):)

[Krististeph]

Of course!

Plus the person complimenting you is telling you they support people crossdressing if they want to, are they not?

For either of those reasons, a gracious and sincere thank you is appropriate!

And, if appropriate, it is totally polite to reciprocate- let them know if you really like their outfit, male or female.

have fun, relax, stay safe- if i had a stylist with me i might give it a shot- glad you can pull it off so well! hugs!

[Jenniferathome]

So my question to you is how would you feel if you didn't pass very well in public and someone stops you and says way to go, keep it up, I'm dying to get out myself etc? Would it give a boost of confidence?

I asked my wife about this, thinking that what a CD needs is a woman's objective advice, but my wife said who is she to infringe on someone like that. If asked, she would respond. So I think the same goes for us fellow crossdressers. We can be supportive, smile at them, but one should wait for such advice to be requested.

[Blizzardx10]

Well then you have a good day of course. ;)

[rachaelsloane]

It is always nice to have someone come up and compliment us therefore, I accept all compliments (BTW at no charge). I've been out with a friend many times and every time had GG's say how good we looked and few of them even asked where I had bought the dress or shoes I was wearing (made my night).

[Launa]

what happens if you do it and it turns out to be a girl? lol

Even though this girl was over 6', had big hands and didn't have a complete female voice, it could still be possible that it was a GG. She looks the same way I look dressed up so I was pretty sure it wasn't a GG.
Now if it was a GG I would have to be prepared to get beaten with a purse!

[Cheryl T]

If something like "way to go", "I'm dying to get out myself" was said to me I would act like I didn't understand and that it was weird. I don't want to be approached by someone (even a sister in drab) and told something like that. If a comment about my outfit was made (as has happened in the past) I would smile and thank the person.
It just strikes me as weird coming from someone in drab. If it was a sister who was dressed, then it would be different.

[Debra Russell]

I have been stopped and payed wonderful compliments- but by GG's - and it would depend on circumstances if it were done by a fellow CDer.............Debra

[suchacutie]

My policy is that if you are dressed as a woman, you are a woman and I act accordingly. There is no better compliment to be paid to a CDer than to treat her as a woman. IMHO.

Tina

[Sammy777]

So my question to you is how would you feel if you didn't pass very well in public and someone stops you and says way to go, keep it up, I'm dying to get out myself etc? Would it give a boost of confidence?

I think most people in general do not like to be reminded of who or what they are.

Would you suddenly feel more compelled to talk to someone just because:
You both had broken arms in casts?
You both happen to be driving the same car?
You both wear glasses?
You both bought a large coffee and doughnut?

If you answered no to any of those then why would it be any different with another CD'er?

[Brittany CD]

I wouldn't like it because that would mean I still look like a dude

[Eryn]

I'm just amazed at the perceptiveness that some folks in this thread seem to have. As a CDer I have a natural curiosity about other CDers, but the fact is that I've never been able to tell *positively* that someone presenting as a woman was male. I can strongly suspect, but I can never be sure. It would be hugely embarrassing to go up to a GG and express the idea that they were male, so I choose not to approach anyone in that way.

[t-girlxsophie]

I definitely wouldn't have an Issue if I received a compliment,I think you would be a little up yourself if It offended you,there only being nice and supportive after all,having said that I wouldn't say anything if saw a fellow CDer.I would prob end up saying wrong thing.

Sophie

[NathalieX66]

I love compliments. I also like when guys offer me drinks even though I'm not attracted to them. Narcisssim much? Yeah, perhaps so, but that's about it . I love compliments from girls even more. It's a nice, but weird place.
i wish I was a simple gay guy instead of a TG girl that likes women....it would solve all problems.

[DanaR]

I wouldn't say anything except maybe "hi". If she replied, then I might say more back to her. If you react any different, it might be weird to her.

[JessicaM1985]

Since I've only be out in makeup once, I'd say that any convo regarding cd in public would make me very nervous. If I see a person who clocked me, but embrace me anyways, I'd feel good about that person. I WANT to see more accepting people in the world.

That said, based in my observation of G.G.s, offering unasked for advice on clothing, makeup, hair, or skin condition/etc is considered a thinly-veiled insult, and possibly fighting words. Best if you don't do it.

[danielletorresani]

Me personally, I'd prefer to be left alone but if a fellow CD tried to give a compliment, I would take it in the spirit it was intended.

[Stephenie S]

It always amazes me that you who are all so freaked out at the mere thought of anyone discovering your "secret" are at the same time so anxious to publicly "out" the first sister you see.

Don't do it. Plain and simple. Don't do it. It's very impolite and potentially dangerous, not just to the person you are "outing", but possibly yourself as well.

Stephie

[Stephenie S]

Now, putting this thread back on topic.

How would you take a compliment? You smile and say, "Thank you very much."

If you want to continue the conversation beyond that, you can. "Oh, I love them too. I got them at Clay's"

But in general, you leave the conversation right there. Women DO compliment each other often. But not with the intent of starting a relationship. A compliment is just that. A compliment. You just smile and say, "Thank you", and move on.

Aunt Stephenie

[Melissa Cross]

After reading all the excellents responses to this thread, I think I would just be friendly to the CDer, say "good afternoon" or something else friendly. It's hard to go wrong with that and I certainly wouln't mind someone saying that to me when I'm out dressed.

Speaking of compliments....have you noticed the huge smile and positive reaction you get from GGs when you compliment them on some part of their outfit that non CDers probably wouln't even notice? I've complimented many GGs on how nice their scarf is or how nice their nails look. They might wonder how come I notice those things but I really am just being nice.