Career path redux part 2 - One Year Later

[Sara Jessica]

What a difference a year makes.

Or maybe not so much.

We pick up where we left off exactly one year ago...

www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?147850-What-s-Your-Career-Path-redux&highlight=career+path+redux

Earlier this week, a new friend asked me a question and I recalled these threads and pointed her in that direction. What a better way to convey what I'm all about than to look at these threads.

So we're a year older. Perhaps a year wiser but that's debatable I'm sure. What are some of the momentous events in my life?


The hair is still here and is in fact much longer. This is something that surprises me to a certain extent given how there are others in my life (wife in particular) who pretty much can't stand it and what it stands for. Still, my admittedly selfish stubbornness in this department keeps it around. It continues to be intertwined in my psyche.
Electrolysis continues, though at a pace slower than I'd prefer.
I continue to get out with friends which is a wonderful thing. The only downside is that I am not getting out often enough to see many of them as much as I'd like.
I'm involved in a business venture with my friend Diana that is starting to show some real promise. This is a true labour of love.
Diva Las Vegas has turned into an annual highlight and this year will be no exception. I am now part of their Administration Team in an elected position, something that perhaps isn't as big of a deal as it might sound but still, it's certainly an important responsibility and milestone in my "career path".
And finally, when it comes to these pages, I find myself posting less. The turnover in membership has really become evident as I see fewer familiar faces with many who have stuck around also posting much less.


This all touches upon my place on a self-described middle path, holding on to the life I hold so dear while doing all I can to keep the gender-dragons at bay. My actions put me so very close to the fire. My words describe a unique place that sometimes seems as if it is shared by so few, yet I am often uplifted in learning of others just like me. This is part of what keeps me participating here.

My kind is an endangered species, and that is a good thing. Others of my age often share similar experiences in feeling they were alone when growing up. These days, with the easy accessibility of knowledge, there is no reason for one who might lean towards the TS side of things to find their path at a younger age.

Yet my resolve continues as I try to achieve happiness in finding balance. At this time, I'm pretty darned happy. I am excited to see what another year might have in store. As always, I hope for everyone in our community to find peace in their hearts as we spread positivity in whatever ways we are able.

[shyselina]

That is great news!!! I hope this year brings you complete happiness!!

[LisaM]

Very nice thread, Sara Jessica! I am glad you found happiness in the middle path. I think I have as well although your last point about seeing fewer familiar faces and posting less fits me to a T as well.

[PretzelGirl]

Sara, I think you are a great example of someone strikes a balance in life that fits her and her wife. But as your path shows, there is still progression, so it leaves the question of the endpoint. And that is the toughest question for many of us that haven't settled into a permanent "groove".

The turnover in membership always surprises me when I go back and look at old threads and wonder "Whatever happened to...". But there are still plenty of old friends and the possibility of many new. To me the site will always be part educational and part social.

Say hi to Diana for me!

[Sally24]

An endangered species? Maybe.....but I think there will always be people that put off dealing with their gender issues. In our cases there weren't a lot of good choices. Thankfully that is rapidly changing.

The middle path can be tough to maintain. I agree that it can take as much strength to NOT do something. I strive to find the things that will make me feel more in tune with my female side without causing my wife problems. I envy you your hair! Mine is just not thick enough to do me any good. I have to be content with the fact that I have nice skin and can get by with very light makeup when I want.

[KellyJameson]

Beautiful writing Sara

Selfish stubbornness is what keeps us from becoming others objects, stay true, stay strong.

[AllieSF]

Sara it is so nice to hear that you have found some balance, as delicate as it is. Since we understand there are always two sides to every story, has your wife found that same balance, or is that an area that needs further work? I really admire you personal achievements in being yourself and in no way would want to be in your position. I must take a lot of work to maintain your sanity. Thanks for sharing and I wish both of you the best of luck.

[Kathi Lake]

Ah, balance. Isn't it great? Sara, I hope that your life continues to be all it should be. I support you in this "career path" and hope that it provides happiness for you and your family. Will it create its share of bad feelings? Yes. Rare is the woman that can put up with us, sadly. Rarer still is the woman that can put up with us without losing herself in the process.

At our core, we want what is best for everyone. We want to bring peace to a family that is sometimes burdened with us being us. Do some of us wish that we weren't this way? Sure! Do I, necessarily? No. Not really. This life has allowed me to do and see and experience so many things that would not have been possible had I been "normal." I love where I am now in life. Is it perfect? No. But is it really ever? I sometimes look back and smile at all of the things I have gotten to do - all because I am on this middle path. It has enriched my life in ways that I wish I could share with others of my gender.

So, here we are - on the road, but wandering from side to side on it. I take pleasure on each side, and more pleasure knowing that I can wander - that I have the mental ability and personality to allow myself to do this. Again, what a great life we have!

:)

Kathi

[Lilia]

Sara,
It was really nice to read your "Career Path" 1 and 2. I too walk the middle path. My hair is long, down to the bra strap. Although it is in need of a trim these days. :-) I feel pulls in many directions: wanting a body that matches my brain, wanting to provide for my family, wanting to present my true self. These are all things to balance. I am blessed with a SO that is VERY supportive. I am very grateful for her in my life. I belong to a UU congregation and I go the service on Sunday dressed in feminine clothes but presenting a male body (no forms). Some Sundays I would love to go in a skirt but I don't want it to be a scene, I'm just trying to be me.
- Lilia

[NathalieX66]

Sara, most of your post sounds like my life.
In my case, the "middle path" is very much me. I'm doing long hair and pierced ears, and permanent hair removal ( laser & electro), and I'm literally living the life of both genders.......couldn't be more happier.
Peace & love.

[docrobbysherry]

Your life now seems as nice as u r, Sara! U sound so happy! And, u deserve that!

Maybe I'm naive. But, I think girls disappear from here because they're ready to move on. They go off to live their lives rather than simply rite about it! It's like watching your kids grow up and move out. SAD for us to see them go, but GOOD for them in the long run! That's my theory anyway and I'm sticking to it!

[Sara Jessica]

Sara, I think you are a great example of someone strikes a balance in life that fits her and her wife. But as your path shows, there is still progression, so it leaves the question of the endpoint. And that is the toughest question for many of us that haven't settled into a permanent "groove".

The turnover in membership always surprises me when I go back and look at old threads and wonder "Whatever happened to...". But there are still plenty of old friends and the possibility of many new. To me the site will always be part educational and part social.

Say hi to Diana for me!

Ahhhh, the endpoint. Does there have to be one or do we just say when will the progression end? I don't know the answer. Any smart cookie out there would look at the steps that I am taking (and those of many others) and simply say "these are the things that lay the groundwork for transition". But like I said elsewhere, I'm trying to get as close to that line without tumbling over it.

And I will most definitely convey your greetings to Diana!!! :)


An endangered species? Maybe.....but I think there will always be people that put off dealing with their gender issues. In our cases there weren't a lot of good choices. Thankfully that is rapidly changing.

The middle path can be tough to maintain. I agree that it can take as much strength to NOT do something. I strive to find the things that will make me feel more in tune with my female side without causing my wife problems. I envy you your hair! Mine is just not thick enough to do me any good. I have to be content with the fact that I have nice skin and can get by with very light makeup when I want.

You are right Sally, there will always be some like us (thus we will not become an extinct member of the TG club) but there should be a lot fewer as time goes by.

The strength not to do something is something we derive from one another when it comes to support. I am comforted knowing that there are others out there who are in the same boat as I, even if we don't have a defined section in these pages.


Sara it is so nice to hear that you have found some balance, as delicate as it is. Since we understand there are always two sides to every story, has your wife found that same balance, or is that an area that needs further work? I really admire you personal achievements in being yourself and in no way would want to be in your position. I must take a lot of work to maintain your sanity. Thanks for sharing and I wish both of you the best of luck.

Thank you for asking about her Allie. Has she found the balance? I don't think so. A lot of it has to do with whether she believes that I will not transition someday. I can go to her at any time and drop that bomb on her and her entire world will change for the worse. This is one of her fears along with the fact that my visible appearance changes are, well, visible for all to see. She has often said it would be so much easier for her if this whole thing was simply about "dressing up". And the entire situation is compounded by the fact that she chooses to suffer in silence. I've tried to get her to find someone to talk to about it, whether it be her mother or one of her many close friends but there is an undercurrent of shame going on, that she'd be devastated if anyone were to know this about me. Until she gets over that, there will be no disclosure on her part.


Ah, balance. Isn't it great? Sara, I hope that your life continues to be all it should be. I support you in this "career path" and hope that it provides happiness for you and your family. Will it create its share of bad feelings? Yes. Rare is the woman that can put up with us, sadly. Rarer still is the woman that can put up with us without losing herself in the process.

At our core, we want what is best for everyone. We want to bring peace to a family that is sometimes burdened with us being us. Do some of us wish that we weren't this way? Sure! Do I, necessarily? No. Not really. This life has allowed me to do and see and experience so many things that would not have been possible had I been "normal." I love where I am now in life. Is it perfect? No. But is it really ever? I sometimes look back and smile at all of the things I have gotten to do - all because I am on this middle path. It has enriched my life in ways that I wish I could share with others of my gender.

So, here we are - on the road, but wandering from side to side on it. I take pleasure on each side, and more pleasure knowing that I can wander - that I have the mental ability and personality to allow myself to do this. Again, what a great life we have!

:)

Kathi

Just as Nathalie points out below, pretty much everything you have written Kathi could be words coming from me. Since I'm pretty sure you don't make it a habit to write horoscopes or fortune cookie messages, I'll take it as these experiences and sentiments are truly shared rather than being generic or coincidental. It is the bond that those of us on this path will always have in common.

Who I am, what I am, the life I've built around me and all of the unique experiences I have had are all to be cherished. It's all I know and coming to a peace with the whole thing has brought on much happiness.


Sara,
It was really nice to read your "Career Path" 1 and 2. I too walk the middle path. My hair is long, down to the bra strap. Although it is in need of a trim these days. :-) I feel pulls in many directions: wanting a body that matches my brain, wanting to provide for my family, wanting to present my true self. These are all things to balance. I am blessed with a SO that is VERY supportive. I am very grateful for her in my life. I belong to a UU congregation and I go the service on Sunday dressed in feminine clothes but presenting a male body (no forms). Some Sundays I would love to go in a skirt but I don't want it to be a scene, I'm just trying to be me.
- Lilia

I'm glad you enjoyed the writings Lilia. The original thread really impacted me when I put my story to words which is one reason why I have enjoyed revisiting it.


Sara, most of your post sounds like my life.
In my case, the "middle path" is very much me. I'm doing long hair and pierced ears, and permanent hair removal ( laser & electro), and I'm literally living the life of both genders.......couldn't be more happier.
Peace & love.

We gotta talk Nathalie someday about those pierced ears, how you pull that off on this path of ours.


Your life now seems as nice as u r, Sara! U sound so happy! And, u deserve that!

Maybe I'm naive. But, I think girls disappear from here because they're ready to move on. They go off to live their lives rather than simply rite about it! It's like watching your kids grow up and move out. SAD for us to see them go, but GOOD for them in the long run! That's my theory anyway and I'm sticking to it!

You're too sweet!!! Yes, I'm in a happy place these days but it can turn on a dime to something very dark. Fortunately, those occurrences are not so common.

[kimdl93]

Like everyone, I'm glad to hear that you're finding balance in life. I'm very curious about the new business venture too. Can you share any more insights without giving away business secrets?

[Barbara Ella]

Bless you Sara, and may you continue on your road for a long time and find more measures of peace along the way more often. Keep writing.

Babes

[Debglam]

Thanks for posting this Sara. I sometimes think that there should be a "middle path" subsection because there sure seems to be a number of us on that path! I hope we get to meet in-person someday. I was hoping to make DLV this year but it probably won't happen. Not definite either way though.

Best of luck with your business venture, and all the rest for that matter!

Hugs,
Debby

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Thanks for the update Sara..

Good luck to you and all the best..you make it sound so easy!

You are blessed with some important qualities that give you an advantage and it sounds like you are making the best of them