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Frédérique
01-30-2012, 07:03 PM
“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention” (Tom Peters)

Since you’re a male dressing as a female, a man dressing as a woman, or a boy dressing as a girl, are you more or less attentive to the gender you’re trying to emulate? Back when I was trying to be a male for the sake of a beloved female, I was accused of (or lauded as) being attentive. Well, why not? The woman was dressed as I wished to be, affecting airs I wished were my own, so I naturally put myself in her shoes, on HER side of the gender chasm, and acted accordingly. If you’re attentive you are thoughtful, considerate, courteous, devoted and watchful. I would say “chivalrous,” but that is an outmoded male mindset that stems from an assumption of superiority, and besides, I don’t own a horse. Some females consider courtesy to be a form of condescension, and who can blame them? This is the 21st century, after all, and some form of equality is supposed to be taking root. Nope – I’m talking (writing) about ATTentiveness...

OK, if you’re a MtF crossdresser, are you attentive to yourself? Look at all you’ve had to do to reach this blessed state of gender incorporation, blurring, or confusion! To begin with, there’s been a lot of attenuation going on. You know what I mean – you’ve made yourself thin to fit into those fantastic clothes you desire, and you need to keep yourself that way if you wish to prolong the pleasure. In the interim, you may notice that the male has diminished over time. He’s been weakened, diluted, and made less “deadly” to all concerned. You have unwittingly attenuated the circumstances, along with yourself, in an attempt to be more attractive – your “attraction sphere” demands this, so you wave masculinity goodbye (and good riddance). To put it in terms a male may better understand, your male-ness is wearing away by unfelt friction, a kind of attrition. The battle of the genders never occurred – the two “sides” embraced instead...

Along with your attire, your attitude will change as you dress in something more comfortable, more appropriate, and more expressive of your hidden desires. Rather than say “dress,” I should say attrap, since you are adorning yourself with forbidden pleasures, or the stuff that dreams are made of. Don’t forget the precious attars! Two wrongs don’t make a right, I suppose, but an entire closet full of the “wrong” clothing makes a world of positive difference. Think about touching, or, more specifically, the idea of attrectation. When you dress in female clothing the genders will be attiguous, another way of saying “contiguous.” I once met a person here in Kansas who had never heard the word contiguous, and I said “It means touching.” The person protested, but I insisted that it is a special word, and touching itself is a special yet undervalued and underappreciated commodity, especially among those who would decry crossdressing as a perversion. In this instance, those who have tactile sensibilities are constantly under attack...

The MtF crossdresser not only attenuates, he, subsequently SHE, also attemperates. Attemper means to reduce, modify or moderate by mixture, or to mix in just proportion. If we are doing a little more than just dressing for the sake of dressing, aren’t we modifying our birth gender by getting in touch with those things we are forbidden to look at, think about, try on, or FEEL? I’ll tell you, I can feel the attemperation taking place as soon as I slip on a skirt – the male is softened, quite agreeably so, and I like (love) the sensation. I can attest to the feelings that come over me, and I attain a sense of calm and balance that fuels my attractiveness. As such, I’m able to attend these meetings of like minds and kindred spirits, be in attendance (if not lurking), and attach myself to the proceedings. I know there are others like me who attempt the unattemptable, and pay close attention to their own ongoing attenuation. If you were with me, I would say “ATTA GIRL!”

Well, I’ll be in the attic if you need me. Are you ATTentive, darling? :battingeyelashes:

carhill2mn
01-31-2012, 05:17 PM
The simple answer is "yes" I am more attentive to the gender that I am trying to emulate.

stacycoral
01-31-2012, 05:26 PM
I agree with Carla, and Freddi, i am more relaxed in a girl state.

Marleena
01-31-2012, 06:25 PM
Freddie I am actually too attentive to the femme side. My male side is almost in the closet now. I hope the obsession wears off soon.:)

kimdl93
01-31-2012, 06:35 PM
I am definately attempering (if that's a word) my birth gender. In two ways. I spent a lot of my life in denial and persistently irritable, argumentative and prone to juvenile tantrums. When I started accepting myself for who I am, inside as well as out, I found that these long cherished but personally destructive behaviors were diminishing. bottom line was, I was angry for having to deny myself and for having to pretend to be something other that what I felt. Oddly enough, my attire has infact helped attenuate and atemperate.

suchacutie
01-31-2012, 07:13 PM
I am sure that I am more attentive to both of my genders once I started to understand the differences associated with gender. I don't see that taking care of myself is a detriment to either gender. Ok, so I lost a lot of weight, and the feminine clothes look just great because of it, but so do my male clothes! I had to have all my suits taken in and tapered. I now have to by "fitted" shirts or have to have them taken in because what fits on my shoulders gives me enough material at my waist to make another shirt!!! How can that be bad?

I think this whole business of being transgendered has improved all aspects of me in every way possible. My male side is not diluted in the slightest! :)

Rogina B
01-31-2012, 07:23 PM
Roger used up all his "fun tickets". But Rogina has a whole big fresh roll of em!

Anne2345
01-31-2012, 09:18 PM
As one who attempts to attach meaning to the donning of the female attire, I find myself ever attentive to those in attendance around me. To attenuate the influence of the outside male through the attack of the same, and the proliferation and attainment of the attendant female within, is an attractive endeavor, seductively attemperate, and an alluring attribute. Although attitudes may vary, one need not hire the services of an attorney to attest to the attention to detail paid by the crossdresser. Opposites need not attract or attach, but rather ideally blend into an attainable, harmonious union of gender and state of being. Or something like that. ;)

KellyJameson
02-01-2012, 01:40 AM
Tigers are aggressively territorial solitary animals. Every forest has one dominant male, who controls and guards the prime area, which has the highest density of prey species. These territories vary in size and can measure up to as much as 100 square kilometers. He is constantly patroling and marking his territory to ward off any rival trying to tresspass. The tigers in the surrounding areas often try and overthrow him. In such situations, confrontations are inevitable and can sometimes result in grave injuries leading to loss of life. Tigers mark their territory is a number of ways. The primary method of doing this is by spraying urine and a fowl smelling fluid from their anal glands on trees, bushes and rocks in their area. They specially spray areas that remain protected from elements of the weather, which reduce the duration of their effectiveness. They also leave scratch marks on trees and on the ground.

I have met many men whose behavior reminds me of these Tigers and I recognize them because I am not one of them so stand apart as observer without a sense of comradery though I do have a small measure of cautious adoration.

I am not attentive because I am indifferent and I am indifferent because I am not trying to become because I already am. I crossdress because of an absence of something whose absence creates by omission something else.

We can come from two directions, one as a man moving toward women through emulation built on adoration using ones body as decoration and adornment or...

as an ointment to heal the rift between our fractured souls whose bodies were not built to speak the language of our womanhood.

Alyla
02-01-2012, 05:22 PM
Yes, I am. I have become more so, in respects to my persona.

Alyla

Brittany CD
02-01-2012, 09:54 PM
Although I dress as a woman and love it when I get to be Katie and I love women's fashion passionately, I identify as a man and am male first, so I am more attentive to my man side.

Barbara Ella
02-02-2012, 12:24 AM
Just a very introspective piece Frederique. It fits me perfectly as I have chronicled the changes in my male and female sides once i realized I had them. even my wife was beginning to dislike my old male behavior that was growing worse because I was ignoring what I really was. Upon realizing that I was feminine and had to cross dress to express this, i improved tremendously as a man, i am working hard at improving just as much with my attentiveness to the female that is now an integral part of me.

I love the way you get me to think about me, perhaps to eventually uncover the real me. I promise to be more ATTentive, and hope you will remain ever vigilant as I and others progress in our journey.

Thank you, Babes