Have you told your SO about you joining crossdressers.com?

[SamGreen]

I did a quick search and I couldn't find this posted.

Have you told your SO about joining this site and how were the reactions? Were you able to get her(or he) to join as well for the support/conversations of the other spouses?

As I've just joined (Hi everyone) and I try and be open and communicate with my Wife I'm thinking about letting her know. Of course I'll have to watch how I let her know ... No, I'm not leaving her, No I don't want to transition, NO I'm not looking for another relationship. I love her and I'm trying to understand myself.

Thanks y'all,
Sam.

[ArleneRaquel]

My current SO, yes. he didn't care.

[AllieSF]

Hello Sam and welcome to the Forum. There was a post last year about whether it was advisable to invite the SO top this site. Many interesting replies. I personally do not have a current SO to care nor worry about. That being said, it would have to depend on how "rational" and how much common sense my SO has. That means, if she was cool and sensible, she would have no problem reading through the fantasies written about here and dwell on the more serious stuff and would be just fine. However, if she was not that way, I probably would not introduce her to this site.

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Sam, I would think telling her about this site would depend on her level of comfort with you being a CD. Have you been married a long time? Did she just find out? If so how is she dealing with it? If she's not open to the subject it might be best to wait.

My husband is the one who introduced me to this site. I have found most here to be very helpful and supportive.

[SamGreen]

She knew of my 'habit' before we got married. I had to build a foundation for our relationship with honesty. We've been married a decade now (WOW) and still isn't comfortable with it.

I guess I've just answered my own question.

[Ayame]

It would be a crime not to let the closest person to me, know me. So of course she knows. ^_^

[Jenniferathome]

Yes,I told my wife about this site. After coming out to her about my crossdressing, I vowed to never lie or withold information about anythng, ever again my life is an open book to her I have invited her to join but she is not really interested. She understands why I am here and how it has helped me.

[Marleena]

Mine knows too Sam. Full disclosure with her. She is not compelled to join although we do talk about some of the topics here. She realizes I need the friendship of others like me.

[WsprsOnTheWind]

She knew of my 'habit' before we got married. I had to build a foundation for our relationship with honesty. We've been married a decade now (WOW) and still isn't comfortable with it.

I guess I've just answered my own question.

Interesting that you used the word "habit". Is that really how you see it or just the word you selected? According to what I've read on this site and have seen personally it's part of who the CD is.

[DanaR]

My wife knows, but isn't interested in joining herself. I do share stuff that is on here with her though.

[t-girlxsophie]

Told her I had joined and asked if she wanted to join too,she did but I believe she hasn't made any posts.She has a glance over my shoulder now and again to read something,and I sometimes will tell her of a certain post that I may think she would be Interested in.she also knows my log in details as I have nothing to hide.

Sophie

[Maggey]

I told my SO about my crossdressing about 3 weeks ago. i also told her about this forum but she joined a Tri Ess site where there was support of the SO's of crossdressers. She has found great support there. She told me to stay away from that site which I will honour. But if she wanted to join this site I certainly would not object.

[velvet]

i have not told her about the forum, i am being slow in revealing all, when i told her about my cd,ing her reply was,,best we go shopping then,, so all is good

[SamGreen]

Maggie, can I ask how your wife found the Tri Ess group? Maybe it's something that my wife would find helpful as well.

[Tuesday Theriot]

While my wife has seen me browsing this site, she's not really interested, though. She has never been interested in these types of forums. She's more the Facebook type. We are opposites in many ways. However, I am impressed at how many folks here are in a honest relationship.

[Lux]

My SO encouraged me to join and joined herself. While she doesn't always visit the site she is usually at my side when I log in via laptop and then we talk about interesting threads as they come up.

I couldn't ask for more :)

[Eryn]

I read this site for a while before I joined. My wife and I both decided that it would be a good idea to join and participate.

[Babeba]

Crystal told me about this site a few months after we started dating, she got a lot of inspiration to tell me about her dressing because of the people on here. I'm so glad she did! I like the people on here, and I can skip the occasional panty thread if it means that I have such a good community of people around to talk to. I can't stress enough how nice it is to have others 'in the know' that I can talk to, and talk things over in privacy (in the FAB section for us GG SOs, there's also the GM section as a private place for you ladies!)

[retrofitme]

My SO and I joined at the same time - the site has been helpful to both of us.

[Renee W]

I told her after I had been a member for about a month. I wanted to be comfortable with the content that appears here before I told her. It's hard enough getting an SO to accept or support your crossdressing, so I didn't want her to think I was joining a site for perverts and such. I told her she should join, but to date she hasn't.

[Erica Thorn]

yup, I was a member a week after we started discussing my CD'ing "for real" and after that I suggested that she would become a member to and she's been liking it!
Now her university degree is taking a bit to much time so she havnt been online for a while tough :(

[Cheryl T]

Absolutely, and she is a member here also.

[suchacutie]

I joined within 48 hours of the first time Tina ever appeared, and asked my wife if she wanted to join. We often discuss issues that arise on this forum.

[DeniseNJ]

I think my wife has seen this site left on on the computer by mistake. If she knew how much I visit and post in here I think it would upset her. even tho my wife know about Denise she hates the fact that her man dresses like a woman at times. As a matter of fact I visit this site more than I do the other forums associated with cars and stuff. I guess I like coming here cause in here I am Denise, my wife wouldn't approve of a bunch of guys talking and acting like girls, to her it's weird!!

[Barbara Ella]

My wife knows, and we have discussed certain topics that have been brought up here. I got her to join, and she made maybe one or two posts. She is not comfortable on the computer, so these forums are new. She keeps saying she really needs and wants someone to talk to, but I cant get her to even log into the e mail account I set up for her. I know she would benefit greatly if she would chat with the wonderful GG here, as well as see the concerns other CD ers are experiencing as a comparison to what i am going through. In time she might become more active, but I cannot force her, just be available.

Let her know but do not force her

Babaes

[VickysBFF]

I have not given any specifics about this forum in particular but I have mentioned a few times that I have visited a CD forum to get information and suggestions about certain things, mostly shopping and things relating to wigs, clothing and visiting certain places.
Most of what I post is trying to be helpful and answer questions that people have about places that I have been or things that I have done.
If I were meeting or getting together with other members or something of that nature I would be open about who I was meeting with/talking to and where I knew them from.

[Stephanie47]

If I were to recommend to my wife a forum concerning cross dressing, I would suggest this cite. When I was lurking and checking out resource material/cites, I found too many cites that would cast a negative view on cross dressing. The last thing I would need is to have my wife 'google' cross dressing and get some hairy guy picture in panties and genitals showing through. Ugh!

I would also have to change my 'handle' because of the feelings I have expressed with anonymity. I doubt I could ever express my inner feelings with my wife, since she prefers the DADT relationship. Sometimes I hope she has done her own research and has realized there's nothing wrong with cross dressing, especially at the level of interest I exhibit.

[michelle.foster]

Mine is very supportive about my dressing, we shared clothes when we were the same size - she is now a much smaller size. But I did get to keep all the shared stuff. I have shared stories from here, I recently suggested that she could join, but nothing has come of that. She doesn't get on the computer much anymore, she does her email and Facebook from her phone, not many websites from there, though. She may join someday, or at least visit.

[SamGreen]

SO! We had a talk last night. The first look wasn't all good, and I quickly went on to explain my thoughts I posted in the original post. I'm doing this for me. I also let her know this or other sites are there for SO's and the members here (THANKS Y'ALL!) said that they were very good for SO's and the plethora of feelings that they are experiencing.

It did get back to, 'yes, i know you dress, and NO, I don't want to be a part of it'. We both agreed that the kids are not going to be exposed to A N Y T H I N G ! I've seen the debates over the last week or so, and I still would give this blessing/curse up in a heart beat, and I don't wish it upon my kids. (I know I know, nature/nurture; I'm not trying to really discuss that right now and I don't mean to offend).

All in all, I think it went as well as when I told her about CDing originally. Maybe with me understanding myself better, she can too.

Thanks for all your support with this thread!
Sam

[Slo Jo]

After 7 years married with a young child my husband came out to me, his GG about 6 months ago.
HUGE burden to unload and since the secrets out the secret has lost much power.
He sent me the link to this page.
I am happy for it!
Doing his makeup tomorrow so he can rehearse for going out while we have some time.
Best, Slo Jo
(I am not in favor of outing onesself to an unaccepting individual. My SO tells me I am an exception. Personal history and all of the people involved in my past made me who I am.
I am super glad this forum existst for those in need of acceptance while playing it safe.)

[Misti]

Have you told your SO about joining this site and how were the reactions? Thanks y'all, Sam.
Welcome to the forum, Sam. My short answer to your question is, "No," even though she supports me 100%, Now, that may not sound fair to some of you "old" diehards out there,, but she is not, repeat NOT, ready for Misti, yet. FYI/FEI Misti may never, ever come to light? There is a lot more involved in this than a simple "Yes," or "No!" It is far, far more involved and highly complex than "Simple Honesty, and NOT LIVING A LIE;" and this is my cross to bear, and no one elses. PERIOD.

To her I am Lola, exactly as the name implies. However, I am still bringing her along because I haven't been able to get that last, i.e., final step finished above the shoulders, yet!

BTW "It is coming slowly, but surely"... :o
P.S. I just posted my "UC shingle" elsewhere in a post a few minutes ago. :love:

[Jessica86]

Told my wife just after telling her about Jessica. This site has helped her understand a lot. We browse it together, and she even asks me when the next time I will be on is. LOL. She loves seeing everything, and there is a lot to see!

[Katie83]

I have told my wife that i'm a member here. She has said she doesn't want to join, but she does come on here (as a guest) :hello: to see what i've written about etc.
Katie

[jaglover]

but she does come on here (as a guest) to see what i've written about etc.
Katie

That's the reason why I don't intend to show this site to my wife. She remains somewhat uneasy about the way I am and doesn't want to discuss it much. I'm hoping this forum will give me a chance to talk more, and maybe share things with you lot I'm not ready/able to share with her. This isn't being dishonest; only recently she agreed that it was hard for me not being able to talk about it and said I should find someone (else) to talk to. This place is my answer to that and, once I've got my feet under the table I will let her know about it - but not give her the url!

[Katherine L.]

No, not yet. I don't think she would object, but I just haven't found the right opportunity to discuss it with her.

Kira

[SamGreen]

Evening Jag,

I've found that some things on this site have helped me talk to my SO about things. I've let her know about this site, and the Tri ESS but I think there will be that snowballs chance... but global warming is changing things; maybe there is hope!

It has helped me already in sorting some things out in my head. That alone makes it all worth it, y'all are great!

Sam

[J-Lynn]

I haven't told my wife about the site yet. As with post above she is not ready to confront my cd head on, and my very first post was very personal all of which she has never heard before unless it involved her directly. I joined to help others learn from my experience and in turn learn from everyone else. Through this process I hope to better learn and be able to explain why i love women's lingerie. Does the bra and panties make me feel more feminine or do I wear them because i am feminine.

[natalie12]

Havnt told her yet. i really need too. if i wait to long she is gonna see as keepin a secret. that not a good thing. She knows i like to dress girlie but i got catch her in the right mood. i can c her side with the keepin a secret. she helps me dress and do my make up but i wood like to do that more often than i feel is comfortable with. i want to tell because being able to talk here has helped me so much !!!!!!

[BRANDYJ]

Told my SO and she joined. No tthat she needs support or has questions. She is very comfortable about my being a CD. She rarely comes to this site since she has a handful raising 3 grandchildren and simply does not have the time. There is nothing I don't share with her. We are 100% open and honest with each other and hide nothing.

[CDPheobe]

I told my SO about it when i joined. She is a member also. She just has 8 posts and trying to get her to kick it in the behind so all may identify her as my SO :)

[Miriam-J]

My wife has always been supportive and helpful, but doesn't have much interest in another web site - she spends quite enough time online each day as is. But I do share some of the better items from here, along with some of the nice material from other sites to help her understand better.

Miriam