Today is the day...

[KlaireLarnia]

I made a promise to myself over Christmas to be honest to myself this year. The main thrux of that was not to hide my dressing as much as I have and while not "over doing it", allow it to be more on show than it perhaps has. This has become evident with my trips on trains in more female attire and shoes, and starting to using a shoulder bag rather than a male bag or no bag at all.

Another part of this is to start to explain to my daughter that I do and why. She will never see anything "over the top" and does see me in female jeans and trainers (and does not question this). But it is more so I can wear un-covered female t-shirts and jumpers at weekends and in case she does see me in female boots for example. As I do not wear dresses or skirts this is something she will not see, which I think is a good thing. This won't happen until late Feb to May due to other things going on early this year and also giving me time to put a few things in place ready for telling her what she needs to know.

In preparation for this I need to explain what I do to a few people who she may mention it to - most notably my brother and sister-in-law (which is my wife's sister oddly). This is what I am going to do tonight...

I need to drop something round after work and this is when I will also speak to them. Now my brother has got to suspect as after one of my train rides recently I picked up the wrong suitcase and was not able to change out of my heeled boots and swap to my male bag from my female one due to them being in my suitcase - so he has seen me in this but made no comment at the time or since. This weekend he also took me out to get some a KFC for my family as I cannot drive currently and I was wearing female jeans (normal) and white/bright pink female trainers which he must have seen.

I am reasonably sure this will go okay, but as my daughter has the most dealings with them (my parents passed away before my daughter was born and my wife's family do not live in the UK), they are the people she is most likely to speak to about what I eventually tell her other than myself and my wife. While I am a tad nervous it is something I have to do and will do. Also doing it now, gives them time to ask me anything they need/want to know before hand. Better they understand than they guess or get it wrong.

Then it is a case of working out who else "needs" to know. Which frankly is only one other person at this time, and that I can deal with. This is linked to my other tread about dressing at work, which is why I was asking this. How far do I go and how far to I tell people. It's the old army saying "It's on a need to know basis and who actually NEEDS to know?"

So tonight is D-Day... Let's hope the result goes as planned.

K

[Jacqueline Winona]

Good luck, Klaire- be confident and whateve happens, we're in your corner.

[Maria in heels]

Klaire...I hope that everything goes well with your talk...its a very special thing that you are doing, sharing with those around you and I too hope that you get the reaction that you need.

[ReineD]

I've read your post, and I gather (correct me if I am wrong) that you plan on adding increasingly feminine items to your every day wear but it will take a while before you explain what is happening to your daughter? And so you are circumventing her potential questions to the people she will most likely mention this, your brother and his wife, by telling them what is going on but not her?

Why are you not simply telling your daughter first that you need to wear items of feminine clothing, and also explain why, and then begin to wear them? And I agree with also telling your brother and sister in law because your daughter does speak to them frequently.

Perhaps I misunderstood your meaning?

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Good luck Klaire - I hope it goes well for you. My hubby wrote down what he wanted to say to me beforehand so he didnt get side tracked or blurt out something which didnt come out right.

I think young folk nowadays are far more open minded and accepting of "different" than they were when I was young.

Maybe just remember that although your daughter may have suspicions, having it said out loud makes it real and she may still be a little taken aback.

S

[KlaireLarnia]

It appears to have gone ok. My brother has suspected for a while which I kinda guessed he did in fairness. I have gone through why I am telling them, what I do and why etc. I have also explained the limits I (and my wife) impose and what they may see if they come round unexpectedly. I only wear female versions of what I would wear in male mode with the occasional added "enhancement" of some more obvious female breasts - but these are not worn all the time. As I said to them I do not wear skirts or dresses so there is no chance they will see me in these, so there will be no major surprises. The most noticeable things will be feminine t-shirts and jumpers as well as boots on occasions. The female jeans and trainers I wear at weekend and have for a while, they admitted they have never noticed as they tend to look at my upper body, not my lower body. When they next come round I will happily show them what I have and wear if they wish to see. By being open with them it will help them understand and be in a position to help my daughter should she need it.

The reason for telling them is with spring and summer around the corner I want the ability to wear female t-shirts/slippers/boots in the house if I want without covering them up. While there will be limited public exposure, it will be mostly when I am away on work and dressed down so I can relax. When out with my wife and daughter I will still have limits imposed which I will respect totally.

I know I have to explain to my daughter, and I think she should have someone outside of my house to speak to if she needs. She is very close to my brother and I suspect it would be him she turns to if she feels the need. This is why I prepared them for when the day comes - which is probably a month away at least. This also gives them time to ask questions of me before hand so they are comfortable with what they may be asked. I am expecting my daughter to be a little confused and wary over it, and I do not think she will ask me for the answers but try and find them via my brother or wife. Both of which I am perfectly happy for her to do.

I know she may tell or let it slip elsewhere, but that is something we can deal with as and when needs and until the day she is told is not a major concern. I just want to make sure she knows there are people she can turn to who will answer questions and help her *IF* she feels the need.

I hope this makes sense why I have told my brother and sister-in-law first before her.

[ReineD]

I hope this makes sense why I have told my brother and sister-in-law first before her.

No, this part is OK. I thought you were also saying you would begin to dress more, before telling your daughter. Sorry, I misunderstood.