Kathi Lake
02-03-2012, 01:30 PM
Had a good time this morning!
A Facebook friend is a Chicago TV personality. They were having an iVillage online discussion on raising genderless/transgender children (after all the fuss about the couple that was raising their child 'genderless'). She asked me to contribute, knowing my experience in the matter, and I agreed.
I started off with defining just what the term 'transgender' meant. They, of course, thought it immediately meant gender dysphoria. I let them know that it was an umbrella term encompassing so much more. We talked about how the media vilifies/glamorizes/ignores it - usually getting it wrong in the process.
We talked about the couple that was raising their son (yes, the cat's out of the bag), as a 'person' and not a boy or a girl, and how we would deal with that, and was it even right. Most thought that the parents were nuts for imposing their viewpoints on a child not able to formulate their own. I reminded them that we all did the same thing - religion, favorite foods, and even "No. Don't play with that, boys/girls play with . . ." Yes, we do it in what we feel is in the best interests of our children, but we still do the same thing to a degree.
Finally, the talk moved over to the "If you had a transgender child . . ." section. I could feel all of the (metaphorical) eyes on me as this question was asked. I assured them that this was a question that we all think of. I told them that although this life, this desire has brought me much joy and wonderful experiences in my life, that it has brought pain as well - not only to me, but my wife and family. I told them that as a parent, I would shield my children from all harm if I could. I would protect them from the bullying, teasing, and even bodily harm that can result from a life lived other than ordinary.
They followed up with "What if your son or daughter came to you and said, "Dad, I think I'm the wrong sex." Others chimed in with personal tales of nieces/nephews, friends' children, etc. - one saying that her nephew committed suicide. I let them know that that was a sad, but all-too-common occurrence. I told them that if my child came to me with that, that step 1 would be therapy to ensure they knew what they were talking about. A few of them chimed in, saying that step 1 should be love and acceptance. I told them that that was actually step 0. :)
A teacher said that one of her students claimed be a lesbian, but after time and therapy, they found that it was just attention-seeking behavior. She said that all of the students had rallied around her, which made her feel good, and once she had the attention, she seemed fine.
There were other questions on why I do it, what my wife thinks, did she question herself, thinking she had driven me to it (I said, "Are you kidding? She's a woman. Of COURSE she questioned herself!" followed by much laughter on their part). :)
I ended with thanking them for inviting me, saying, "Glad this old crossdresser could help."
:)
Kathi
A Facebook friend is a Chicago TV personality. They were having an iVillage online discussion on raising genderless/transgender children (after all the fuss about the couple that was raising their child 'genderless'). She asked me to contribute, knowing my experience in the matter, and I agreed.
I started off with defining just what the term 'transgender' meant. They, of course, thought it immediately meant gender dysphoria. I let them know that it was an umbrella term encompassing so much more. We talked about how the media vilifies/glamorizes/ignores it - usually getting it wrong in the process.
We talked about the couple that was raising their son (yes, the cat's out of the bag), as a 'person' and not a boy or a girl, and how we would deal with that, and was it even right. Most thought that the parents were nuts for imposing their viewpoints on a child not able to formulate their own. I reminded them that we all did the same thing - religion, favorite foods, and even "No. Don't play with that, boys/girls play with . . ." Yes, we do it in what we feel is in the best interests of our children, but we still do the same thing to a degree.
Finally, the talk moved over to the "If you had a transgender child . . ." section. I could feel all of the (metaphorical) eyes on me as this question was asked. I assured them that this was a question that we all think of. I told them that although this life, this desire has brought me much joy and wonderful experiences in my life, that it has brought pain as well - not only to me, but my wife and family. I told them that as a parent, I would shield my children from all harm if I could. I would protect them from the bullying, teasing, and even bodily harm that can result from a life lived other than ordinary.
They followed up with "What if your son or daughter came to you and said, "Dad, I think I'm the wrong sex." Others chimed in with personal tales of nieces/nephews, friends' children, etc. - one saying that her nephew committed suicide. I let them know that that was a sad, but all-too-common occurrence. I told them that if my child came to me with that, that step 1 would be therapy to ensure they knew what they were talking about. A few of them chimed in, saying that step 1 should be love and acceptance. I told them that that was actually step 0. :)
A teacher said that one of her students claimed be a lesbian, but after time and therapy, they found that it was just attention-seeking behavior. She said that all of the students had rallied around her, which made her feel good, and once she had the attention, she seemed fine.
There were other questions on why I do it, what my wife thinks, did she question herself, thinking she had driven me to it (I said, "Are you kidding? She's a woman. Of COURSE she questioned herself!" followed by much laughter on their part). :)
I ended with thanking them for inviting me, saying, "Glad this old crossdresser could help."
:)
Kathi