How Many of You Who .....

[Traci Elizabeth]

Define yourselves as a Heterosexuals have had sex with men be you pre or post-op?

I am NOT asking those who are either lesbian, gay, or bisexual (all which are great by me) but just those women who have had sex with the opposite male sex.

What was it like for you the first time? Awkward? Painful? Embarrassing? Regretful? Purely enjoyable?

p.s. I don't ever recall anyone asking this before.

[Aprilrain]

I'm hetero and in a relationship with a man I have been dating for about 6 months now. I'm pre op. Sex is different than before thats for sure! Recently it has been really good, I attribute that to dealing with my depression (antidepressants) and going off hormones for 2 weeks in preparation for FFS. My T was 0.5 on a scale were 18 was the low end of normal for a female. I don't know what it is now but it's definitely more than 0.5! I'm back on hormones again but with no anti androgen just Progesterone and Estradiol. The last time I saw my Endo he felt that would be enough to keep my T down.
Anyway to your questions: Painful, I assume you're talking about penetration and not oral sex or some other method, yes its painful the first time. Awkward, yes. I think the first few times you have sex with anyone male or female it's awkward. Embarrassing, no. Regretful, HELL NO! Why I didn't do this 20 years ago is beyond me! Enjoyable, overall yes.

Not that you asked but my experience is that I found a man who will date me like any other girl. So many I talked to were just looking for sex and thats OK but that isn't what I wanted. Patience and fear paid off. I talked on line with my BF for 3 months before we went on a date. The funny thing is I wasn't interested at first, I thought he was too old and he's a CDer which does nothing for me. We went out and hit it off, like any relationship we deal with the less desirable aspects of the other, I would like to think, with love and acceptance. So many like to belittle the men who would date us especially if we are pre op, yeah there are a lot of pigs out there but how is that different from any woman's experience?? I found a good man and if he decided he didn't want to date me anymore because I had SRS than so be it we will have had a good relationship up to that point and I would not consider it a failure just another instance where 2 people grow apart for one reason or another. BTW he's really not all the interested in my junk

[Bree-asaurus]

I consider myself straight (I'm a chick that like's her partner to have a di....dgeridoo).

Back when I was just trying to be a normal guy, I had two relationships with women. Everything was a charade. It felt so forced.

I started seeing guys after that (trying to be a gay man myself) and it was friggin awesome. I never liked being in control with them though... I guess you would say I liked my gay men to be tops :P My first relationship with a man was friggin awesome. It was sooo different than being with a girl. He was manly and rugged and his beard would scratch my face off when we made out (which sucks... but still somehow cool???) and oh my god... the first time we had sex... it was... glorious! It was a little awkward at first, but he knew it was my first time and was totally cool. I still remember the way he would grab me and... oh okay now... going too far... *takes a deep breath*

My first guy was actually the only guy I had sex with (not counting my current man). I did a little bit with some other guys after that... but I never really had a connection with any of them like I had with the first.

[Stephenie S]

I met April's man. Not only is he a hunk, he is also VERY nice. He's a keeper, April.

S

[Bree-asaurus]

I met April's man. Not only is he a hunk, he is also VERY nice. He's a keeper, April.

S

Yay for April! Hunks are... hunky :P

[Aprilrain]

AWWW, thank you Stephenie! Yes i think i'll keep him, he's sweet, kind and taller than me, yay! and he always pays for dinner ; ) I feel lucky to have met him.

We both enjoyed your company thanks for meeting with us.

[Bree-asaurus]

AWWW, thank you Stephenie! Yes i think i'll keep him, he's sweet, kind and taller than me, yay! and he always pays for dinner ; ) I feel lucky to have met him.

We both enjoyed your company thanks for meeting with us.

LOL... lucky you with the height...

I'm like... 8 inches taller than Nick :P

[Kaitlyn Michele]

it was purely enjoyable...he knew everything..

there was a thought in my head "i can't believe this is really happening....i paid $40,000 for this????"...but it felt really good... having him on top of me felt really good (thinking of it feels good right now)...

also btw he found it quite enjoyable..and said "you could get paid alot for that.."...

Prior to SRS , i hooked up with some guys but i kind of felt like that was just experimenting and more about "trying to be a woman" than "being with a man".

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Traci!

I am a Heterosexual pre-op transsexual. I do dream about being with a man, but as of yet I have not been with a man and do not see it happening any time soon. I just want to stay focused on my transition, but if someone came along who knows.

Hugs

[Traci Elizabeth]

I am not sure if experimenting with men while transitioning would be as beneficial as waiting until one is post-op.

Yes! pre-op I can imagine it would hurt like hell the first several times or more.

[Bree-asaurus]

I am not sure if experimenting with men while transitioning would be as beneficial as waiting until one is post-op.

Yes! pre-op I can imagine it would hurt like hell the first several times or more.

Yeah, pre-op I wouldn't go messing around too much with guys... when they find out what's down there... oye. Just sounds like nothing good could come of it.

Is your interest in men kind of a new realization for you? Have you been attracted to women previously (or thought you were attracted to women)?

[Aprilrain]

I am not sure if experimenting with men while transitioning would be as beneficial as waiting until one is post-op.

Yes! pre-op I can imagine it would hurt like hell the first several times or more.

Each to her own but IMO it seems like if you need a vagaina to even consider being with a man then your motives for doing so may have more to do with some sort of feminine validation than a genuine interest in men. I have met several post op woman who "experimented" with a man only to end up with a woman. One even admitted that her experience with a guy had more to do with needing validation as a woman than actually liking men. She projected her experience onto every girl in the group who was or claimed to be hetero.

[Mistybtm]

My first time with a man I was scared at first but he made me feel relaxed and welcomed he was very experienced and it was just awsome, it was not painful because I was using other items before I started dating and was already used to it:o. To bad he moved away:sad:. But I have been with some really great men and some not so great, I learned to follow my instinct and go with that. After that it it feels wrong then I say no but when it feels right I go for it and Wow I just love it more and more every time I do it.:battingeyelashes:

[Traci Elizabeth]

Well as most of you know I consider myself a Lesbian and I am currently married. But over the last couple of years, I have been looking at men differently and am becoming attracted to them not to mention some of the dreams I have been having.

[Kristy_K]

I tired it with guys twice just to see if I could maybe deep down be interested in men. And I still have no interest in men. I can't even handle a kiss from them.

A friend of mine said after my SRS that could change. I will just have to wait and see on that one.

[Sammy777]

I am NOT asking those who are either lesbian, gay, or bisexual (all which are great by me)
I'm not trying to be mean or sarcastic, but I am curious as too why you would exclude Bi girls from this poll? Ha poll.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I'm not trying to be mean or sarcastic, but I am curious as too why you would exclude Bi girls from this poll? Ha poll.

THe reason I excluded Bi's are that they are with men normally. I was looking for responses from straight gals who are facing their initial experiences with men. Nothing wrong with being LGBT at all. After all, I fit two of those letters.

[Sammy777]

Define yourselves as a Heterosexuals have had sex with men be you pre or post-op?
I am NOT asking those who are either lesbian, gay, or bisexual (all which are great by me) but just those women who have had sex with the opposite male sex.

I am curious as too why you would exclude Bi girls from this poll?

The reason I excluded Bi's are that they are with men normally. I was looking for responses from straight gals who are facing their initial experiences with men.

Your original post was somewhat confusing hence the question.
You are asking other TS girls about their first experiences with men yet you refer to them as Hetero.
Where as a Hetero TS girl has always been into guys and would have been considered Gay [males] before coming out.
So, to me anyway, it would have made more sense to ask how many TS' that pre coming out used to identify as Hetero males [liking girls] aka a Lesbian or Bi TS now felt being with a guy for the first time.

[Aprilrain]

Where as a Hetero TS girl has always been into guys and would have been considered Gay [males] before coming out.

So, to me anyway, it would have made more sense to ask how many TS' that pre coming out used to identify as Hetero males [liking girls] aka a Lesbian or Bi TS now felt being with a guy for the first time

It is an assumption on your part that all hetero TS girls lived as gay men before transition. Other than one drunken experience when I was 16 I'd never been with a man prior to transition. My homophobia would not have allowed that. Conversely I know girls who have never been with another woman but never considered themselves a male, having made a psychological transition at a very young age. Though unable to make a chemical and physical transition still lived as much as a girl as possible. Would you consider this person a gay male? I have also met girls who clearly identified as gay men prior to transition, one girl did drag for years, she told me she assumed all gay men wanted to be woman (see there is that word again) Though I would consider myself bisexual now I don't really have any interest in being in a relationship with a woman, just sex would be OK but I find the dynamic of two woman in one relationship to be tedious at best.

It seems to me that when we make hard and fast rules about gender and sexuality around here feathers get ruffled. We should allow people to self identify what ever they want.

[Sammy777]

My post was only intended to ask the OP why they were asking "hetero" girls about their first experience with a man but excluding "bi" girls. Where later they state "bi" girls are normally with men.

Which would lead one to read the OP's original meaning of "hetero" as one who [as a male] dated woman [male identified and hetero] but then moved to men.
Where as if one as you say knew they were TS long before doing anything about would more so identify as a female [not male] and thus identify more readily with lesbian or even bi as opposed to hetero.

I'm sorry if my short post implied I think all TS who liked men pre-transition were gay males.
But even if a TS mentally transitions and identifies as female but is still not out would still be seen as a male and if engaged in sex with a man would to the general public be considered a gay or bi male.

I am not trying to make any hard or fast rules regarding how intertwined and screwed up the lines between gender and sexuality can get blurred and distorted.

Thinking about this stuff can make your head spin. :)

Before accepting myself, I identified as a hetero male yet sex with a woman never felt "right" to me.
I was unable to realize it back then that sex with a woman [as a man] was not working for me.
Same as you, the thought of being sexual with "another" guy was not to be thought of.
You got to love denial right! :|

So there I was, attracted to women but felt wrong having sex with them.
And in denial, unwilling to "allow" myself to pursue any relationship with a man.
I needed to accept being trans in order to finally accept being Bi.

[Aprilrain]

I didn't realize the OP excluded bi girls in her original post nothing was said about that. I usually just think of my self as hetero female and most of my friends are the same, it's where I feel most comfortable however I suppose my long career of dating and sleeping with women allows me to be open minded to the possibility of sex with a woman in the future. Women are pretty, curvy, generally well groomed and smell nice, those are appealing attributes but still I almost never think about sex with women and when I was a "hetero guy" I almost never thought about sex with women either lol! I knew I was not a gay man so instinctually I just never went that route plus I was extremely homophobic, a defense mechanism I'm sure. It's funny how you really don't know how wrong something is until you've experienced the right. I always felt like something was off in my relationships with women but I figured I just hadn't found the right girl and once I did I would no longer be compelled to dress up in her clothes (or my girl clothes) and I'd stop having theses silly fantasies that I was a woman and I'd definitely never think about having sex with a man again! Still even after admitting to myself that I was really female and sexually attracted to men it took some time to dismantle all of my homophobic defenses and I'm not sure that I would have been ready to be me without beginning my chemical transition, I had been on hormones about 7 months before I was ever with a man. Coincidentally my BF and I had our first date the day I legally changed my name and gender.

[Badtranny]

Sammy, I think the OP was directed at girls like April rather than girls like me. April is a perfect example of someone who didn't experiment with men until after or during transition, while I experimented with men throughout my whole life. I had my first, um, rear entry experience at 19 so that's a bit different than a person who is considering such a thing in their 40's.

April is also a good example of how different our paths can be but still bring us to the same place. It's funny because she struggled with gender confusion and cross dressing while never having sex with men, and I struggled with gender confusion and an attraction to men while never thinking about cross dressing, yet today, we are both transitioning and dating men exclusively.

What a long strange trip.

[Sammy777]

I didn't realize the OP excluded bi girls in her original post nothing was said about that.

That's why I asked it in post #16.
Perhaps if the OP was a bit clearer by changing the line from:
"How Many of You Who .. Define yourselves as a Heterosexuals"
To: "How Many of You Who .. Defined yourselves as a Heterosexual male"
That definitely would have made more sense to me. :)

It's amazing how our thought processes regarding our sexuality before and after coming out are so similar. :D

[Sammy777]

Sammy, I think the OP was directed at girls like April rather than girls like me.
[April is a perfect example of someone who didn't experiment with men until after or during transition]

April is also a good example of how different our paths can be but still bring us to the same place. yet today, we are both transitioning and dating men exclusively.


:sad: Awwwwwwww what am I chopped liver? :lol:
Well that is what originally perplexed me about the OP.

I guess that's where I differ from you and April in that I am not quite ready to give up on a Lesbian relationship. As April said Girls just smell good :D.

We 3 seem to be a good example of the incremental nature of sexuality.
With my assumption being that currently:
1) you are fully Hetero.
2) April is on the Hetero side w/Bi tendencies. and
3) Myself being on the Lesbian side w/Bi tendencies.

[Badtranny]

1) you are fully Hetero.

Hmmmmm, I used to cry myself to sleep at night wishing I was fully hetero.

Careful what you wish for I guess ;-)

[Sammy777]

Hmmmmm, I used to cry myself to sleep at night wishing I was fully hetero.

Careful what you wish for I guess ;-)

I used to wish I would wake up a girl ;)

[Aprilrain]

I used to beg god to take it away and make me "normal" however, interestingly enough, when asked if I could take the "blue pill" and hence forth be a "normal" heterosexual guy, I recoiled as if from a hot flame. Hmm, curios?

[Sammy777]

The "Blue pill" eeeeeewwwwwwwweeeeeeeewwwww

Much happier with the "Red pill" and seeing just how deep the rabbit hole goes. :D

[Aprilrain]

The "Blue pill" eeeeeewwwwwwwweeeeeeeewwwww

Much happier with the "Red pill" and seeing just how deep the rabbit hole goes. :D

Mine was pink, what does the red one do?!:eek::devil: