closed thread???

[bridgetta]

there was recently a thread that offended a number of people and was closed..

it was about a guy who went out on a date with a girl and she didnt wear makeup and the guy was not as attracted..

i dont understand all the criticism..

crossdressing itself is a fetishment of all that "feminine stuff" lipstick high heels .. all that.. its man made.. adornment.. it is not PARTICULARY female.. we WERE BORN NAKED!

so..
my question is..

why the incredible harsh reaction..
i think this guy had a serious question about something we all face.. we are attracted to that type of decoration.. and being a crossdresser perhaps we are even more turned on by girls that participate in looking pretty.. its expensive and its a ridiculous because it is not neccesary for survival. but the question remains..

if i am we are attracted to it.. what to do if the girl we are with does not participate in that type of decoration.. after all we are "men" we need to be arroused visually to be attracted..

i dont understand why this guy was treated like his concerns were so very different..

maybe your all in denial.. because.. i can relate to what was said.. when i see a beautiful girl who is well put together i think that it is very great thing! i appreciate it.. i value it... its important to me..

i think everyone totally missed the point of what he was saying..

not so much bragging.. but saying..

hey.. if you want me to be attracted to you.. put on some damn lipstick so i dont have to go home and do it my damn self!

[bridgetta]

yeah i guess your right Scarlet.. i see why it came across as smug.. but the essential problem of beauty is a real issue.. i dont care it closed.. i just thought more that it was kind of a joke than smug.. .. all interpretation..text doesnt really ever convey subtlety.. but i could be wrong..

[Kaz]

I missed it I think... threads do get closed here though when they potentially offend certain people, and if this offence is real then I have to agree. However, I know of many threads that have been closed because the whole point was missed. Sadly this is all down to interpretation by the moderators and of course editorial 'guidance' from the site owners I guess. I think we often self-limit and the stand-in joke is that the only thing that is really encouraged is 'what colour knickers are you wearing today?" - after all, that doesn't rock any boats.

I recently did get upset by a thread closure and so set up a thread saying just this... basically... I give up... so what colour knickers are you wearing? It was meant to be ironic. It got pulled because there was already a thread running discussing the colour of one's undergarments... I wasn't suprised... I was jus disappointed in the lack of imagination and sense of irony and self analysis of some people who run this site.

Having said that... they do a great job in keeping this site people friendly and I wouldn't want it any other way... although at times, censorship becomes an issue.

[bridgetta]

yeah.. love this place.. everyone is awesome.. .. i didnt mean to start a thread about something that is over. but it was naggin at me for a few days..... because.. i think i struggle with the dichotomy myself..

[Kaz]

It is important that we can discuss this stuff... even if it is before the mods find it and close it down!

[Vickie_CDTV]

I think the thread came off as not such much "I wished she looked different, and therefore she wasn't my type personally", but as "This person does not look a certain way therefore she is <insert judgement>, she should be ashamed of herself and I look better than her when dressed and therefore I am a better person". In all fairness. maybe the poster did not mean it like that, I don't know either way, but that is how I read it.

If I were a GG, I'd be offended too.

[AllieSF]

Well, the topic in itself is a touchy one with many, especially the GG's. It is like saying that that woman over there with the baggy tee shirt,, baggy jeans, no or little makeup, etc. looks terrible and she shouldn't go out like that. When in fact no one looking at her really knows why she is dressed that way, and there are so many very valid reasons that should stop all questions before they are even formulated. You know, like she works all week, her husband doesn't help enough around the house, i.e. doesn't share some of the housework duties, dresses up all week for work and is looking for a relaxing day where looks don't really matter to the ones that she loves and who love her. All these examples can go on forever. The point is, that these types of questions and threads are fairly common here, and it shows sometimes that men who like to dress up pretty don't always know nor appreciate what real women have to deal with in their personal lives.

I am a visual person and yes, an attractive woman nicely dressed is very interesting to me. But, instead of me questioning why they all can't dress better for us, I tell myself that she has her reasons, so that is her life however it is going and turns out. I will try to date the ones that attract me, fully recognizing that once we catch each other, how we both dress in our free time may change significantly and really should have no impact on our mutual love.

Basically, if you don't like it, try to ignore it and respect that woman's right to be herself when she wants to.

[~Joanne~]

It probably got closed because we all have a lot of different view points on a lot of different things and it probably got too heated. Words on a screen do not convey emotions or intent very well. Some may have taken it differently than the original poster had intended.

I think there is another one probably heading that same route soon too. Thinking about it, I wonder if it's the same thread re-posted. They sound very similar though I don't recall seeing the one talked about in this thread.

[Shananigans]

Well, the thread was kind of silly and went as far as it could (if we stuck with the OP and not diverged). If you don't want to date someone for XYZ reason, don't do it. Who cares?

If not wearing lipstick is a deal breaker for you, so be it. No one cares.

I guess I am a GG that you would describe as a "girlie girl." The thread in question didn't offend me because it didn't make sweeping statements. When sweeping statements that ALL GGs dress like crap are made, I get angry because I put a lot of effort into my appearance and so does almost every GG I know.

And, when I get angry...I can make very bitchy comments.

The person who started the thread in question came off kind if like a prick, and everyone reacted to it. He also didnt have a pic to back up how awesomely hot he is...which....I found really funny. But, I didn't bring it up.

But, I just did...

Anyway, it's one date. If the person isn't what you want DON'T GO on another one! Herp derp

But, I will say people tend to end up dating people that are about as attractive as they are. So, some people may have real high opinions of themselves...lol

[bridgetta]

its not a dealbreaker at all.. im just saying.. this is a forum to work out some of these complicated issues that people have.. i like peace and love and kindness. and all that... no want trouble.. or make anyone feel bad ever...

[Shananigans]

Well, I agree with you. But, reading the person that posted the thread...I think they'll survive. Idk why he needed other people to tell him to just date someone else. It sounded like he was stirring sh*t, honestly. Like, bringing up one thing so other people could start bashing women that they have dated. I've seen it happen here before and I guess it makes people feel better about themselves???

Idk...it wasn't a very important thread, so I don't think we missed anything. I've been upset when threads with a lot of depth were closed. I hope the person that started the thread didn't take it too personally...but, you have to kind of learn to be socially competent. If you come off like a prick and like you are socially inept, people treat you as such. He's new, so I think he'll figure it out. It kind of reminds me of sorority rush. These girls that I would basically interview to join my sorority would pretend they were stuck up b*tches because that's the attitude they thought we portrayed. But, once they realized that the same social norms still existed even in a sorority house, they were kind of cool. Sadly, they werent buffed in though because we had only one notion of their behaviors.

And, anyone who says they'd rather be at home dressing up then on a dare with someone makes me lol. Bless his heart...I was like, "He's rather be wanking it to himself..." I mean, it was sad. It's best it was closed. SO MUCH could have been said that wasn't. People were as nice as they could be with what they were working with...

He'll figure out how to not be socially inept en femme. I bet a few CDs go through it...the same as the silly girls that I rushed for my sorority.

[Bree-asaurus]

Yeah... I think everyone will get along just fine not having seen that thread lol...


And, anyone who says they'd rather be at home dressing up then on a dare with someone makes me lol. Bless his heart...I was like, "He's rather be wanking it to himself..." I mean, it was sad. It's best it was closed. SO MUCH could have been said that wasn't. People were as nice as they could be with what they were working with...

Oh I had to try so hard to bite my tongue. I still made a comment, but not what I REALLY wanted to say... it would have been too harsh and maybe unfairly harsh :P

[Shananigans]

Oh I had to try so hard to bite my tongue. I still made a comment, but not what I REALLY wanted to say... it would have been too harsh and maybe unfairly harsh :P

Girrrrl...I bet I can guess! Me too!! I saw he was new and I resisted...I resisted. I feel bad he got shot down, but you have to learn. I've had my ass handed to me too on this forum. We all learn lol

[Nigella]

Threads get closed for a number of reasons, usually you will find that the moderator who has closed the thread has had the last post, their reason for closing it are usually contained within that post.

It has been said before that we allow most topics to be discussed, however, like all forums, there are rules to be followed, more often than not, threads are closed because they break the rules in the initial post or they go so far off topic that the original post is lost.

You want to keep a thread running, then keep your personal opinions on the postings of others out of it, it is one of the quickest ways to get a thread shut down to prevent flame wars.

[Karren H]

Was that the one where the OP stated he looked hotter than his date?

[Tamara Croft]

Yes it was Karren and it was me who shut down the thread because his thread was going downhill, not to mention he was acting like a total jerk :rolleyes:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

W

The person who started the thread in question came off kind if like a prick, and everyone reacted to it. He also didnt have a pic to back up how awesomely hot he is...which....I found really funny. But, I didn't bring it up.

...lol

That's it in a nutshell...

btw.. i DID bring it up...no luck

[Momarie]

Maybe it's because women are more than "decoration".

"not so much bragging.. but saying.."

[Shananigans]

btw.. i DID bring it up...no luck

Haha I know...I lol'd a little bit when I read your post because I was thinking the same thing.

Oh well, hopefully the person that started the thread didn't take it too personally. There really is an art to conveying yourself through text. You can be misinterpreted in a multitude of ways. So, it was fairly obvious to me that the person who wrote the thread in question was kind of being a prick....but, he may have never had this intention. If he has never really tried writing on forums and such then there may be a learning curve.

[J'lyn GG]

hey.. if you want me to be attracted to you.. put on some damn lipstick so i dont have to go home and do it my damn self!

Really, this statement goes against what most cders seem to say around here. That what their SO does or doesn't do makes them crossdress. It is a thought many women stress over when finding out their SO is a cder.

I think you're probably gonna say you were being sarcastic...but...well that's all I'll say.

[bridgetta]

i feel like i should have let this die... i really dont want to be taking heat for a thread i didnt start.. my point was... crossdressing is a a weird behavior.. and i although its ok and part of me.. and an expression of very wonderful sensual things... my point was that all this crap.. lipstick dresses etc.. is inanimate object. and not really female.. its just manmade crap.. and we cd's have a particular attraction to it... so my point was. that .. those of us who fetishize this stuff have to deal with it in relationships.. and that is not easy... i dont understand,. why lipstick becomes a symbol where to think it is degrading to woman... .. my point is subtle. and i am not being a jerk... unfortantly. i cant quite express it.. without sounding mysogenist or whatever....

crossdressing is ABNORMAL... we know that... so . fitting it into a normal relationship is not so easy.. that is all.. and therefor.. since it is abnormal we have to discuss it..

i am going to drop out of this thread.. i dont mean to piss anyone off...

[NicoleScott]

it was about a guy who went out on a date with a girl and she didnt wear makeup and the guy was not as attracted..


Surprising that the thread was allowed to go on as long as it did. This has nothing to do with crossdressing. Maybe the guy liked makeup on his dates, but so do a lot of guys, crossdresser or not.

[Presh GG]

Some people are such fools !

They're CDs supposedly trying to imitate what they admire most and here in front of them is THE REAL THING ,to learn from and enjoy...Gosh who knows , she may have been the most excepting , supportive WOMEN on earth, But he'll never know .
Sorry, some people are doomed to a life alone and that's a very sad life.

Shan & all who made the point, I too would like to have seen a picture of this self-discribed goddess.LOL

Presh

[RenneB]

Okay so what was the question again? Am I attracted to another person because they do or do not wear makeup?

Biologically we carbon based life forms are wired to be attracted to a bilaterally symetrical member of the opposite sex.... okay most of us. Personnally, I was attracted to my SO for the fact that she didn't need to wear makeup to appear 'pretty'. She had the right proportion of waist to hip ratio and her face was also the 'right' proportions. That and the fact that she said yes when I asked 'the' question.

She is thoughtful, kind and caring and a great presence in my life. The fact that I want to look like a GG is a totally different matter.

IMHO, the fact that some GGs wear heavy makeup is to coddle to the marketing of the product to 'look more pretty' or to cover up so called 'flaws' in their look.

So did I hit the point or is it still out there drifting.... Oh buy the way, I have no objection to any moderator doing what they do for the price I pay for this privilage is just right in my purse....

Renne.....

[jaglover]

Well I'm really new here too and although I inhabit a lot of forums I've never known one that has threads closed as often as seems to happen here. So I'm going off to read the faq pages properly and make sure I understand the protocol and etiquette.

Speaking for myself I think it's a really big deal to get up the nerve to join a forum called 'crossdressers' in the first place and there's got to be a risk of being clumsy and sticking one's foot in one's mouth - it's like trying too hard at a social gathering when you're nervous. A british sketch show called The Fast Show used to feature a character who routinely did this and his punchline was "...I'll get my coat." - meaning the only thing he could do at that point was leave, because everyone was staring at him with their jaws dropped.

Now I've gone off-topic.