Sad?

[Sammy93]

Ok, i know I've ben talking about keeping my toes done while in college for a little bit now. But today, I went to Kroger and simply could not build up enough courage to buy any nail polish. Is this just some sort of emotional or self-esteem problem? I love having nail polish on my toes (although I havnt bought any before) but I just couldnt bring myself to buy it. I know I can buy it off of Amazon, but I also want to be able to walk into a grocery store and feel comfortable buying it.

Any advice or thoughts? :sad:

[RenneB]

Com on girl, that's what uscans are for. Besides, it's coming up on Valentine's day and all you need to do is build up a set of 'lines' in your head if anyone asks. They don't, but it'll give you confidence to head back to the store and pick some up. Heck throw in a red heart card and it'll be just fine....

Now go out and shop...

Renne....

[~Joanne~]

I agree, the U scans are a help for those in the closet or afraid to purchase (what people refer to as) female attire and accessories (yet none of these say FOR FEMALE USE ONLY on them).

Go to walmart and just grab whatever catches your fancy, pick up a few other items if you need them, and head to the U scan :)

[AnnaCalliope]

One of the main reasons I didn't start transition until I was almost 30 was precisely this. Having the confidence necessary to go out and be myself
regardless of what people thought, or overcoming the paranoia of thinking that everyone is staring at you like the circus freak you really are.

Heads up. You're not a circus freak. If you start acting like you belong, in most situations, people just take it for normal and go about their business. You might be shopping for a girlfriend, wife, sister, yourself, who knows? If you act nervous about it, people are going to notice. If you act natural, even when inside you may be quivering, most people won't even bother to stop what they're doing.

[Richelle423]

Com-on girl! Xmas and Valentines day is the best season to buy girlie things!!!!! Best xcuse is it's not for me it's for her!

[Sammy777]

First off - nice name ;)

Up until now where have you been getting your nail polish fix?

News flash: There is nothing new or wrong with buying nail polish. Sirens are not going to go off if you do. :) Teen/College age guys have been doing it for a while without getting run out of town.

And while you're at it, pick out out a nice color for your fingers too. Have a little fun, you're allowed.

Check out the Wet -N- Wild line. A lot of colors to choose from.
Not expensive [.99 to 1.99] and it's found in most food/drug store chains.

[Valerie Louise]

Last week I bought two bras, lipsticks and lip liners at Walmart, in drab. This included a lot of looking and selecting. No one even saw me, and the uscan made it easier, not that I care.
Go to Walmart at 8:00 AM. You can get whatever you want with very few people around.

[WsprsOnTheWind]

How would anyone know you weren't buying it for a girlfriend?

[suchacutie]

Wonderful name! I came to understand I'm transgendered late in life, but what I learned quickly is that it's no difference to the SA if I buy something for my wife, or for Tina. Who could possibly know.

In fact, many will be in admiration of you if you are buying something girly for your girlfriend. They don't need to know you can be your own girlfriend :)

tina

[ReineD]

but I also want to be able to walk into a grocery store and feel comfortable buying it.

Any advice or thoughts? :sad:

If it helps any, during the length of my marriage my ex went out and bought all kinds of things for me in a pinch, especially when the kids were little and it was a hassle packing them all into the car to get something I had forgotten, or when we were out of town getting ready for events, and I had forgotten something: anything from hygiene products, to nail polish (once I asked him to get the brightest red he could find), to panty hose. He was always the one to run to the store while I got ready. He never thought twice about buying the stuff.

He also bought me presents over the years: clothes, jewelry, purses, etc.

So, try if you can to realize it is only your own feelings of guilt that stand in your way. No one at the store cares who buys what or wonders for who it is. Guys buy things for their wives all the time! :)

Sometimes I'll hear stories in this forum from CDers who buy clothing, and at the checkout they report being asked, "Is this for you?". This amazes me. Why would a cashier even care? But, if this does ever happens to you, although the chances of it happening are slim, you can choose any one of the following responses:

1) Yes, thanks for asking! (accompanied with a wide grin).

2) It's for my girlfriend.

3) Why do you ask?

4) ... or you can shrug and not answer.

[STACY B]

Dont forget ??? Use the OL LIST TRICK ,, Just get a peace of paper an write down a bunch of things an just ad what you want . Then you can go an ask the SA an they will help a guy in distress .

[Julogden]

Sammy, just do it! If I could get away with walking into stores and buying makeup, lingerie and pantyhose in 1969 when I was 18, you can survive buying nail polish in 2012, as it's a way friendlier world now than it was back then.

You can do it! :)

Carol :hugs:

[bridgetta]

took me forever to figure it out.. just do it tho.. do whatever you want.. its better that way.. i keep it in check and dont want to make peoples lives too difficult.. so i keep my private things to myself.. but. just do it.. you are free.. and its just paint .. you can wash it off.. its no big deal.. thats why your compelled to do it.. to find out this simple truth.. its nothing .. its just pleasure..

[Barbara Ella]

the internal fears that are built up over the years are the most difficult to overcome, even when there is no reason whatsoever to fear doing it. At times we are definitely not rational, but we get over it. You will get over it, it will just take doing it once. use a list, buy a box of Kotex with it, go to a female checkout person, and she will think you are a wonderful understanding husband. Go up to the girl during checkout and ask her if she likes this and would wear it if someone bought it for her. Have fun, Life is a lark.

Babes

[Kate T]

I found it became much easier once :
A) Accept yourself for who you are and not be ashamed of it. (This is not the same as being "out" though)
B) Realize most other people really don't care that much who your buying it for.
C) Look and talk like you know what you are doing and pretty much everyone else will go with the flow.
So basically it's a matter of self confidence. Or at least it is for me :)

[Raychel Torn]

If I am buying something like nail polish in guy mode and am asked about it I just look them in the eye and in a strong sarcastic voice say "Its for me of course, I just love that color." They take it as a joke and life roles on. If you don't treat it like a big deal they won't.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I remember the sheer terror of buying my first things. It gets easier, eventually you realize that the store's Transvestite Alarm will not go off at every purchase you make.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sammy, The truth is the rest of the world doesn't give a Fat Rats A$$ what you buy
because they are so wrapped up in thier own little world.

[Eva_nine]

i actually thoroughly enjoy responding "no, its for me" on the rare occasion that i am questioned when purchasing typical female only purchases.

[Maggey]

Don't be afraid, the first time is always the hardest. There is a host of excuses you can use, valentines, birthdays, mothers day for spouses, going away gifts or needs, etc. Valentines is the best time to buy lingerie of any type because thousands of guys are buying. Sales people expect guys to be buying lingerie at valentines. I heard it is one the times of the year that sales in lingerie spike. The sales people don't care and use the self check outs. Target stores that have the self check outs. Go shopping an hour before closing. Do your shopping and check out 15 minj before closing and use the self check out. They just want you to get checked out as quick as you can and leave, so they can go home.
When I shopped at Valentines for lingerie, the SA who was engaging me in conversation about my purchases was actually flirting with me and didn't care what it was that I was buying.

[KellyJameson]

It is natural to worry what others may think, I'm often selfconscious about my behavior because I know how cruel people can be and I'm very sensitive to mean, disapproving looks or words but I push myself in the hopes that I will someday be fully free from this anxiety.

I'm comfortable buying clothing, makeup,polish,stockings but buying heels while dressed in drab still makes me uncomfortable. The beauty of certain shoes takes my breath away and I fear that my emotional reaction gives to much away but when I first started making purchases for myself I was nervous about everything I bought and had very elaborate rituals and excuses to "appear" normal.

I set goals for myself to confront my fears making each one a little more difficult, it becomes a game.

[ReineD]

i actually thoroughly enjoy responding "no, its for me" on the rare occasion that i am questioned when purchasing typical female only purchases.

This just occurred to me: if a cashier even stops to wonder why this man is buying nail polish, a dress, or whatever, then it is because she has an awareness that some men do wear these things. It would never occur to most people that a guy who looks like a guy and who buys nail polish might run home and put it on. lol. So if this cashier has an awareness, there's a possibility that her own husband or boyfriend is a CD. :D

[Vickie_CDTV]

Don't feel bad, I went through the exact same thing when I was your age. It took me over an hour of walking around the store to get up the nerve to buy my first bottle of nail polish. It gets easier with time each time you do it.

[Renee W]

Just get some bright red nail polish and if anybody says anything tell them that it's cheaper than touch-up paint from the auto store, works better too!

Seriously though, most all of us have gone through the anxiety of purchasing what we felt was a taboo item for the first time, fearing judgement from the cashier. Just put it on your list with other things. If you feel self conscious while looking at all the choices, pull out your cell phone and call your voice mail. Have a fake conversation with your wife/girlfriend----"OK, I'm in front of the shelf, yeah, I see it, there isn't anything to the left, oh, you mean right, yeah, but there's 2 types of plum, a metallic and some other one..........." Make sure you ncall your voice mail so your phone doesn't ring!!!

[LeaP]

This just occurred to me: if a cashier even stops to wonder why this man is buying nail polish, a dress, or whatever, then it is because she has an awareness that some men do wear these things. It would never occur to most people that a guy who looks like a guy and who buys nail polish might run home and put it on. lol. So if this cashier has an awareness, there's a possibility that her own husband or boyfriend is a CD. :D

You know, this sounds right to me, Reine.

Lea

[BLUE ORCHID]

i actually thoroughly enjoy responding "no, its for me" on the rare occasion that i am questioned when purchasing typical female only purchases.

Hi Eva, I don't bring it up but if they bring it up then I will have some fun with them.
something like they will say in a joking way you will look good in that
and I will say I sure hope so if I don't look good in it I'm bringing it back.

The look on thier face---------------Priceless.

[Karren H]

You could just buy a bunch of manly crap... and sneak it into the cart.... Beer... Chips... Raw meat... BBQed anything..... Cholesterol laden bacon cheese burgers... Old Spice.... Bug Spray... Nail polish... They will think your girlfriend made you pick it up for her and will probably feel sorry for you.... Mainly because your arteries are clogged full of cheese.....

And of coarse a $3 bottle of polish will cost you $56.89.... So better buy the generic chips..

[kimdl93]

I doubt the cashiers much care what's in the cart. After you've scanned ten thousand items, I'd imagine they'd all blend together. I can think of one exception. A few months ago, a young male cashier ask me if I used the Secret deoderant that I'd purchased, or if it was for my wife. I really don't consider deoderant to be gender specific, and was a bit surprised by the question, but I answered honestly - I use whatever is in the medicine cabinet and buy whatever is on sale!

[Sarasometimes]

I just go a bit from home and don't worry much since others have little interest in what you are doing. As for the cashier you will not be the first guy they have buy nail polish and others here have covered the multitude of responses if a comment is made. The list works very well especially if you have say shampoo and pink razors also in you purchase and don't forget the floral scented shave cream and ponytail holders. I used to use the List eons ago and found it fun trying to make the writing as femme as possible. Big looping letters with round dots on the I's. hey you know maybe I'll make a list today...?

[KarenCDFL]

There are so many teen and 20 something guys buying and wearing nail polish now, no one should even give it a second thought anymore.

And look at all the old and mean old rockers wearing polish now!

[moondog]

Throw in a box of tampons or pads and the cashier will think you're buying stuff for your SO. Chances are the cashiers think that anyway, if they even care enough to think about what people are buying.

[Stephanie47]

Just go through the self scanning line, if there is one. Just don't use a coupon and put cash into the checkout machine. With Valentine's Day approaching you can get away with buying just about anything. If you're self conscious about unmentionables, just ask for a gift box or have the purchase gift wrapped. If you're self conscious about entering a women's store or section of a store, just drive down the road to the next county.

[AllisonK]

Throw in a box of tampons or pads and the cashier will think you're buying stuff for your SO. Chances are the cashiers think that anyway, if they even care enough to think about what people are buying.

This makes me laugh. I usually shop at the same 3 stores for all of the hygiene stuff in the house and when my wife needs them I always pick up her a box of tampons. Most of the cashiers know me well enough to know that I'm married so when I get something for me they just assume it's for her. Best part we wear the same size clothes so I've even had them say that she is going to like something I got for me. lol.

[Shananigans]

It sounds like you want to have the confidence to go out and buy the things that you want in public. You realize that you could always buy things off of Amazon, but this is some how not the same.

I think you have to ask yourself what you are afraid that people might think if you buy polish from the store. In an opposite situation, what might you think about a man buying nail polish? How would you react to this situation?

In all likelihood, your own thoughts and actions might be the same as other people's. Maybe you would wonder if that person was a CD, but you couldn't exactly be sure... Would you more or less find it to be interesting, but then look the other way?

[Sammy93]

Thanks for the support, everyone! :) I actually went to Kroger today and bought a cute metallic blue color and NOBODY seemed to care, lol. I will post a pic in the Pictures and videos forum. My toes are now "Blizzard Blue" courtesy of Sally Hansen :)

[Sammy777]

Glad you were able to go out and get what you wanted, without waiting 3-5 days for shipping and handling. :)

But if you want to continue buying online check these crazy guys out. :)
ManGlaze old website but still working (http://manglaze.com/buy.html)
ManGlaze New website (http://manglaze.com/manglaze.com/ManGlaze_Matte_Nail_Polish.html)
ManGlaze For sale on Facebook now (http://www.facebook.com/ManGlaze?sk=app_135607783795)

[patti1569]

Funny, I was about to post a very similar thread. I've bought make up at Walmart about 2 weeks ago for the first time and felt strong and empowered. Then the next week, I had it in my mind that I wanted another color of nail polish and lipstick. I totally froze and couldn't do it. I felt total weak and sad about it. Today I had to do my food shopping and had no plans to buy makeup. Well, I decided to get that nail polish anyway. It helped that there weren't many people in the makeup section. Instead of flying in and grabbing the first thing that caught my eye, I spent some time going up and down every isle. I realized what many here have said. no one really cares. I got some looks, but what is the worst that they could be thinking? Anyway, I wound up getting a lipstick, nail polish, and a new eyeshadow. I always think about what I might say if someone questions my purchases, but the truth is, no one ever has. If they ever do, I plan on reacting the way I always do when someone asks me a question I don't want/need to answer. I'll give a big laugh, roll my eyes and say something like "i figure these colors will go great with my eyes" haha. Humor always works. My really big obstacle is buying high heels. I'm hoping I can get the nerve to do that soon.

[Jennifer8]

Funny, I was about to post a very similar thread. I've bought make up at Walmart about 2 weeks ago for the first time and felt strong and empowered. Then the next week, I had it in my mind that I wanted another color of nail polish and lipstick. I totally froze and couldn't do it. I felt total weak and sad about it.
It so gets easier after doin it for a while esp when you meet cool girl doin it :)

[Jacqueline Winona]

Patti, when your local Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event comes up, tell them you need a pair for that event- the SA's will go out of their way to help you. :)

[JenniferForFun]

Lots of responses I did t read but I have had that same issues
I really wanted some nail polish. In drab I sat in the Walmart isle looking. A lady walked up next to me staring at me. Nervous, I asked her if she knows what brand is the hardest? She relaxed and chuckled and said "no clue". So I grabbed the color I was looking at and went about my way. At the register she had a big smile. She knew but anyways I just said i was real lucky today. I got a new job and new tools. Time to mark them mine! After all who is going to steal my tools with pink passion on the handle. She replied good idea! Wich I have really do e at jobs.
I bought lipstick once and just asked the SR at Walgreens if she knows that this lipstick has polyurethane carbonite in it? Instant win!
I got a makeup kit there too and instantly asked for a recipt. She said of coarse, I told her I might need to return it after my GF whoops my but for going against her to buy this for her 13yo daughter. I don't know if that worked. She had that smirk on her face the whole time like "Yeah right!"
Like someone said before just agree "yeah it's for me. Won't it look peeerty lol"
That works good enough for undercover DEA agents to use. Reverse phycology at its finest.

[Nicole Erin]

I actually went to Kroger today and bought a cute metallic blue color and NOBODY seemed to care, lol.

It starts out as that scary first purchase of something femme. You tend to get more and more brave and after a time, it becomes just normal to buy things like that.

But yeah pretty much no matter what you do these days, people;e are not going to care cause they have their own lives they are tied up in.

[sometimes_miss]

I did this once. worked fine, but since amazon, I haven't needed to use the line again. Just tell anyone who asks that you needed that particular color for the trim on a model train, and couldn't find the paint shade in any modeling stores. Nail polish comes in a bazillion colors. I went to a beauty supply store, and I found a match for the orange/red trim of the New Hampshire line with ease. After doing the locomotive, I did my nails in the same color.