Impossible!

[Kelsy]

I was in Boston yesterday to visit my doctor for my usual three month check up! I dressed conservatively. Jeans, a V-neck black top with my waist length green jacket and my new boots. I had my hair up, wore a little cap and carried my black satchel. I was wearing light make-up. I discussed getting pre op evaluations done for my FFS and he told me that he thought that I would take well to the surgery; he thought I had a soft male face! He’s so cute!

Well anyhow, after picking up my meds and making a few appointments I asked the gentleman at the front desk if he could call me a cab. Which he did and then he asked what name should he say was calling. I figured he should use my legal name to avoid confusion- just say Kevin. He looked at me rather surprised and said are you sure you want to use that name? I realized then he had seen me as female! I had a sense (not in a paranoid way) all day that I was getting looks and they weren’t looks of disapproval!?? As I was walking to my bus terminal there was this security guard who was watching me walk his way and he gave me a big smile and a nod??? I took a seat on a bench of four or five empty seats and this young guy walks over smiles and sits right next to me!!

I must be kidding myself but this was all very odd for me! Something has changed!

Kelsy

[kimdl93]

Those are wonderful affirmations of who you really are, Kelsy.

[Inna]

Isn't life amazing, tired broken man living in denial, then one day comes and the world seems to change its veil and give back whats deservedly ours. I am so happy for you, and yes, you do look quite awesome......Young Lady!

[AKAMichelle]

The person who has changed is you. You are no longer putting out those vibes that you aren't you appear to be.

[Hope]

It is complicated when you start to get people looking at you the way they look at a woman, instead of the way they look at a freak... I have to admit, I still get a bit defensive when I see a guy check me out, or another woman give me the once-over or smile. All my insecurities come out and I get all "What the hell are you looking at! I'm not a FREAK!" in my head... and then I remember... "Oh - right... they are looking at *me.* The tall thin redhead with the boobs... Awesome."

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see,
Everybody stops and they staring at me,
I got passion in my [-]pants[/-] skirt and I ain't afraid to show it;

I'm sexy and I know it.

[Kelsy]

Thanks everyone,

Every little affirmation means a alot to me and you're all sweet to respond!!Being comfortable and owning it makes a huge difference. One lesson I continually hear is that you have to be confident and act like you own the place! well it works. I have begun coming out of my shell and going out much more and caring less about what others think - It feels good!!
I went to a dinner party last night And had a great time just being me!!

Kelsy

[Jorja]

I went to a dinner party last night And had a great time just being me!!

Kelsy

That's all any of us can do. Just be yourself and the rest will fall in place.

[Diane Elizabeth]

Why not Kevyn? There was a female news reporter in Minnesota a few years ago and her name was "Kevyn".

[Krististeph]

Good for you sweetie, a lot of it is in how yo feel about yourself, and from your writing, it looks pretty good from here! remember to take the bad with the good- but be careful now too- you're not that guy who can go just anywhere anymore- girls are a little more circumspect about where they can go on their own...

And there is nothing wrong with Kevin of course, but with even just a little imagination i'm sure you caan come up with some very similar sounding female names if you want- Kaylin, etc... cute name. Sounds like it could fit you... :-)

good for you!

[LeaP]

I asked the gentleman at the front desk if he could call me a cab. Which he did and then he asked what name should he say was calling. I figured he should use my legal name to avoid confusion- just say Kevin.

A nice, affirming experience. Congratulations, and I don't think you're kidding yourself.

I'm a little puzzled as to why your legal name would be necessary for a cab, though. You could call yourself Madonna for all the cabbie would care.

Lea

[Julia_in_Pa]

Not impossible but very probable Kelsy.
It's called progression down the path.
Congratulations.


Julia

[Kelsy]

The experience gave me a big confidence boost and the support I have recieved here, from my SO and from my "girls nite out" friends has been very positive!!

Kelsy

[Michelle.M]

. . . I asked the gentleman at the front desk if he could call me a cab. . . I figured he should use my legal name to avoid confusion- just say Kevin.

This is a wonderful thing, isn't it? I'm so glad that it's all coming together for you!

You know what, though? You would not have confused anyone by using your correct name instead of your legal name. And hailing a cab is not a legal issue (neither is making a restaurant reservation, getting a magazine subscription or a million other things I could think of). You could have said Betty Boop and it wouldn't have made a dime's worth of difference.

There are times when you just have to use your government name whether you want to or not. Even though I have done my legal name change I haven't made all the changes in all areas (and for practical reasons). So for now, for some issues (like talking to the credit card company) it's still my male identity. The rest of the time it's Michelle.

That will all change very soon when I take off the Army uniform for the last time.

Use whatever name you want as often as you can. The name change, legal or not, is part of the transition process. The more often you can use it the more often you affirm your own sense of self.