Now I'm freaking out!

[KylieQ]

After years of living in the far depths of the closet I'm finally coming out to one of my best friends this weekend. She's coming down to see me on Saturday and I'm planning to tell her everything about me, including my upcoming appointment with a gender therapist. I chose her for a number of reasons, the biggest one being the fact that I know she'll be supportive and willing to help me through anything. That being said, I'm REALLY scared, mostly because this is probably the hardest thing I've ever done.

Wish me luck, and I'll let you all know how it goes.

[Janelle_C]

:battingeyelashes:I just started to see a gender therapist and beside her and my wife and of course all of you on else knows. I would love to have one other friend to tell that would be safe. But right now there no one. I'm so happy for you good luck.:daydreaming:

[Barbara Ella]

Luck to you KylieQ. Isn't it amazing how insecure we can be about our passion, even when, as you point out, you really feel you know this best friend will be accepting... Human nature at work again. Regardless of our knowledge of the person, we are pulling our deepest and most tightly secret out from the depth of our soul. It really is the most scary thing you can do. If this was your girlfriend or wife I would say telling her is the hardest thing you will ever do, and then explaining it all is the most difficult.

I think you will do just fine as there is not the emotional attachment with the explaining, just the facts. Will be waiting for the outcome.


Babes

[Tanya C]

There is always a risk associated with disclosing ones crossdressing to another person, but it's the risks we take in life that potentially provide us with the greatest rewards. Just keep your eyes on the prize. And in the meantime hold on to your belief that your friend will ultimately be supportive and caring. That will help get you through the anxiety your feeling in anticipation of her reaction.
She may actually feel quite honored that you think highly enough of her as to let her in on this very special part of your life.

Good luck.

[Sandy Michaels]

i know how it feels the first time you tell someone. let me tell you, being in the closet makes you a bit paranoid and chances are the first person you pick passed througGood Luck this weekend. h all the checks. Good Luck and have fun this weekend. who knows maybe the first thing out of her mouth will be" lets go shopping!" one could only hope.

[jillleanne]

Go for it. You'll thank yourself over and over again once you do.

[Regan]

Kylie

I will be thinking about you, good luck and if she is a good friend everything will work out great.

[LACD]

Good for you hon. Just be honest and everything will work out. Youvare so fortunate to have a friend like her. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Marleena]

It sounds like a breakthrough to me.:) Good luck.

[docrobbysherry]

I hope it all goes well for u, Kylie! I told a very old girl friend who has always been very understanding and accepting! It didn't go so well in the long run! But, hopefully your's will come out fine!

I think when u tell someone who has known u for a long time and has NO CLUE that u dress, it can BLINDSIDE them completely some times!

[KylieQ]

Thanks everyone! I am almost positive it's going to go well, I'm just really in that "pray for the best but expect the worst" frame of mind right now. This has been sort of a whirlwind few months, and making this decision is a huge step, but a necessary one. On the one hand I'm really looking forward to it just for the simple fact that someone else will know, which means I won't be carrying this secret around anymore. On the other hand I'm also looking at it as sort of a dress rehearsal for when it finally comes time to tell my family, which is something I'm most assuredly NOT looking forward to.

[Jacqueline Winona]

Kylie, congratulations on having the courage to get this far- seriously, this is a big step and you made it. You know your friend and you chose her for a reason, so I have the confidence that this will work out well. And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to look. :)

[Anne2345]

I came out to a couple of my closest friends a few months ago. I wrote about the experience here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?162449-I-Came-Out-to-Some-Friends-.-.-.-./page2).

Of course, there is always a risk. You need to consider your risk versus the reward. For me, I was at a point in my life where I had to tell someone. I just couldn't keep it in any longer. Sink or swim. I choose to swim, and I do not regret the decision to do so for even one minute. It was an amazing, cathartic moment, rooted in love, friendship, and acceptance. Simply put, it was a beautiful, wonderful moment. I wish you the best of luck!

[busker]

She may actually feel quite honored that you think highly enough of her as to let her in on this very special part of your life.

Good luck.

And, depending on possible mutual acquaintances, this could just as easily be a Burden. It is interesting how he "honored" comments flourish, but nobody every considers that providing a person with this particular kind of secret could be a burden, the same as it is for the CD in the closet. that is not to say that she will not be supportive, it is the fact that if it gets out, she could be seen as the tattletale..

[DianeDeBris]

Hi Kylie -- I've lost track of how many thousands of us are on here; but please know that you are in the thoughts, prayers and good wishes of every one of us! Hugs - Diane

[KylieQ]

Thankfully I don't have to worry about mutual acquaintances...somehow she and I have been friends for almost 13 years and our circles of friends have never crossed. That's also one of the big reasons I decided she was someone I could tell.

[Miss Lisa]

I came out to a couple of my closest friends a few months ago. I wrote about the experience here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?162449-I-Came-Out-to-Some-Friends-.-.-.-./page2).

Of course, there is always a risk. You need to consider your risk versus the reward. For me, I was at a point in my life where I had to tell someone. I just couldn't keep it in any longer. Sink or swim. I choose to swim, and I do not regret the decision to do so for even one minute. It was an amazing, cathartic moment, rooted in love, friendship, and acceptance. Simply put, it was a beautiful, wonderful moment. I wish you the best of luck!

I came out to my best mate about a month after I told my wife mainly as they are friends also and she wasn't coping well with my news. What a shock it was to me when he turned around and told me he had been Crossdressing for years :O. He wants me to tell his wife that I dress so that he can in turn tell her his secret. Sheezzzzzz. Good luck with your friend. Hope it works out as well as it did for me

[Kerstin]

Have a great weekend, and I hope everything goes the way you want it to :)

[KylieQ]

So today was the day I've been nervous about all week. I was finally going to come out to my best friend, making her the first person I've ever told about this part of me. Long story short...it couldn't have gone any better if I had been able to script it out myself!

Now for the long of the story...

She drove down to where I live, about an hour away from her home, and we met at the local Starbucks. She immediately asked me what was going on because I seemed so edgy, to which I replied that "there's just been a lot of stuff going on." We got our drinks and jumped in my car and headed to a park because I wanted to do it somewhere quiet. It took me a little while to work up the nerve just to let the words leave my mouth, but once it was out there it was like a flood, I just kept talking and talking. We talked about my decision to see a therapist, my plans for transition, what kind of clothes I like, and basically every other topic you can think of. She gave me a bunch of big hugs, told me how honored she was that I chose her to be the one that I came out to, and also told me that we're definitely going shopping soon! I'm pretty much on cloud 9 right now and the last place I want to go is work, but I'm headed out the door right now with a huge smile on my face and a massive weight lifted off of both my head and my heart!

[Kaz]

Well done Kylie! I wish I had your courage!

[pickle73]

Congrats Kylie, that must be such a burden lifted!

[PretzelGirl]

That is a great friend Kylie. Being able to dump our feelings out to a friend is the best way to lift nerves and apprehension and generally feel better. Give her a hug for all of us. :hugs:

[Cindy M]

Great story with a happy ending. Congrats!!!

[Kerstin]

That's really nice Kylie, I'm glad it went so well for you :)

[STACY B]

WOOOOOOO >>>>>> WEEEEEEEEEE >>>>>> IT FEELS GOOD !!!! HUH !!! HUH !! Boy howdy just sit back an take the ride cuz its all down hill from here the cats out the bag and there aint no putting that sucker back in ,,, SWEET SUNSHINE moma Im home FREE :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: ALL AROUND :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[KylieQ]

To say it feels good would be a huge understatement, Stacy! I don't even have the words to accurately express how I feel right now. All I know is that the words finally left my mouth for the first time in my life and there was a wonderful person there to hear them. What made me feel best, though, was that she didn't just jump to "I have to see you dressed up." I explained to her that I don't intend to do anything in terms of dressing in front of anyone else until I feel confident enough in my body (still got a lot of weight to lose, but it's going really well) to step out my own front door. She did, however, say that she definitely wants to be there with me when I finally do go out for the first time fully presenting as female. This is something that I never in a million years thought that I would do, but now that it's done I can't believe how much better I feel!

[Marleena]

Congrats Kylie! You have a new shopping partner and wonderful friend that accepts you!:)

[docrobbysherry]

What a wonderful feeling u must have rite now! I hope her support continues down the long road with Kylie!

[Sammy777]

That first one is always the hardest. Congrats for moving forward.
As you open up to more people you will find it starts to become a non-issue.

[KylieQ]

I'm sure that's probably true, Sammy, but I think for at least the foreseeable future it's going to be just her and my therapist. What I did yesterday took enough nerve to do, and I don't want to deal with anyone else until it's absolutely necessary.

[Annaliese2010]

Best wishes Kylie, hope it works out well for you, girl! :)

[Sandy Michaels]

Congratulations!!! Its always great to hear when one of us is acccepted by a loved one.

[Sammy777]

I'm sure that's probably true, Sammy, but I think for at least the foreseeable future it's going to be just her and my therapist. What I did yesterday took enough nerve to do, and I don't want to deal with anyone else until it's absolutely necessary.

It all comes with time, go at the speed you are comfortable with.
Oh and as far as family goes. Siblings talk and share with each other.
The brother/sister you tell will talk to any other siblings about it.
You tell your mom or Dad, they will take to their brothers/sisters [Aunts/Uncles].
Your Aunts/Uncles will talk to their kids [cousins].
It happens, and while it sounds scary at first, it is a good thing.
It elevates the pressure of you needing to have the same conversation 3 or 20 times over.
It also gives them time to process it, so when you do talk to them the fear and anxiety is lessened.