Telling my Doctor next week!

[Michelle James]

So I've decided it's time to tell my GP about my being trans. I'm a little nervous about it. What would be the best way to start that conversation and how do I approach the subject of hormones? I could really use some advice and/or encouragement. So far I have gone back to male mode when I have to go there. I am hoping once I tell him I won't have to any more. I have been going there for 35 years and everyone there knows me. Some since the beginning. How can I do it so it won't be too awkward?

[Julia_in_Pa]

Michelle,

You said your full time so stop with the switch clothing bit and just tell him.
IMO there is no other way than to say "Hey guess what Doc?"
Just walk in and be you Michelle.


Julia

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Michelle,

I totally agree with Julia on this one. Doctors, and their staff, have seen it all and there really is no reason to be concerned. When I came out to my doctor I was part time and I took the cowards way out. I made an appointment for a nonexistent ailment and used that time to talk with him about myself. His attitude was exactly what I had hoped for and he now sees me as Nicole. My records have been changed to reflect Nicole's name and his office staff and especially his nurses have been wonderful to me.

During that visit, which was just recently, I asked him if he would be comfortable administering HRT for me. He indicated that he wanted a little time to investigate my request and determine if he could do it all for me or just monitor my progress after I had an appointment with an Endo.

[Katesback]

Umm did the thought ever occur to you to make an appointment with another doctor for JUST the hormones? Oh and going to a doctor as a boy will get you sent to a therapist for letters. Sorry but NOBODY can take a boy who says he is a girl seriously. You have to SHOW your serious.

[Stephenie S]

Ditto.

You are not full time when you switch back and forth for convenience. That's just a fantasy. Full time means full time. Are you full time? Then throw out ALL your guy clothes. As a general rule, women don't wear guy clothes. And they certainly don't wear guy clothes to convince their doctor that they are someone that they are not.

Transition is a verb. You have to DO it. Switching back and forth is problematic at best.

Be prepared for a negative answer. Many doctors do not feel comfortable dealing with hormone therapy. Endocrinologists are trained in hormone therapy. It might be best to ask your doctor for a referral to an endo. When he/she asks why, then you can go into your explanation.

Stephie

[elizabethamy]

I am not full time and might not ever be full time. But I had to tell my doctor that I had gender identity issues to convince her to test my T level. Which came out in the normal range, which scares me even more than my own thoughts and compulsions do. So next time I'm in for a checkup or a cold, it'll be time to 'fess up. I wonder what that will feel like, and what, from the purely medical standpoint, she will suggest that I do next (I'm already in therapy.).

[Sammy777]

So I've decided it's time to tell my GP about my being trans. I'm a little nervous about it.

Let me apparently be the first to say congratulations on your next big step. :D

He is after all a doctor, so just come right out and say you want to start HRT and would like him/her to administer and monitor them for you.
You don't worry and beat around the bush when you have any other medical problem do you? :D

Sometimes people in here tend to gloss over their memories and forget they didn't always have that bull in a china shop outlook on life. So don't let it bother you.


Umm did the thought ever occur to you to make an appointment with another doctor for JUST the hormones? Oh and going to a doctor as a boy will get you sent to a therapist for letters. Sorry but NOBODY can take a boy who says he is a girl seriously. You have to SHOW your serious.

So what you are saying is, It's OK to continue to lie and do what she is doing with her current GP and just find someone else she can go to and get what she wants from. How is THAT showing being "Serious"?? Tell me. :straightface:

SO why don't you cut the girl a little slack, we each have our own way of getting through this.
I would like to think that you were once a nice, sweet and maybe even scared at times person and weren't always the cold hard jaded bitch you come off as now.
Oh and I say this for "Entertainment purposes only" Kate ;)


Full time means full time. Are you full time?
Then throw out ALL your guy clothes.
As a general rule, women don't wear guy clothes.

:lol2: REALLY? Call me crazy but..... I think that
"Your not really a woman or full time or serious if you own ANY guy clothes" rule is Bullshit!

I happen to like wearing my dad's sweater.
I happen to like my items of guy "boyfriend" clothes.
Some of which I've bought AFTER going full time. :devil:

I saw a "men's" 3/4 length winter wool coat for $40 bucks.
Same coat 5 aisles over in the woman's section? $250
Take a wild guess which one I bought home with me? :)

Why? Because girls can wear whatever they want remember? :lol2:

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Michelle, you have made an important decision and it is normal to feel apprehensive about how you put it into action.

When I first went to see my GP to get help with my transition, I just booked an appointment with her without giving a reason ahead of time. Right up until I started talking, I didn't know how I was going to start the conversation. In the end, I think I said something like
I haven't come for the normal sort of consultation, I need to talk to you because I cannot go on pretending to be a man and after that, it just all came tumbling out. I remember finishing up my story by saying
For a long time, I lied to myself that I couldn't transition because I would be an ugly woman, but now I would rather spend the rest of my life as an ugly woman than live one more day as a man!

I was registered there as Robert and had made the appointment in that name, but told the doctor that I would be changing my name to Rianna. I had been with that practice ever since my return to this country 22 years ago, but I had no difficulty with the changeover. I asked the receptionist for advice on the best way to notify the Health Service about my change of name, and she more or less said, "leave it to me". Far from it being awkward, everyone at that practice has been really cool and supportive.

As for what our resident grinch says about no-one taking you seriously if you present as a male the first time you seek help from your GP, my experience is precisely the opposite.

[Katesback]

Sammy I did cut the girl some slack. How so? I didnt tear into her.

Now refering to you. You called me a bitch. I dont think I have ever called anyone on here a bitch. Your pre-op. How do I know this? Because you are expressing yourself like a guy would. If you ever loose the balls then you will understand. Till then it would be nice you not call me a bitch. Understand?

Funny thing is you dont even know me. I am one of the nicest people out there and one of the most realistic you could ever read text from. If you dont agree thats totally fine. As I have said transition does not start till after SRS and since your not post-op you cant even understand what I know. Does that make me royalty, the all powerful woman? LOL no. I just know things you cannot know till after SRS. Simple and sweet.

Dont call people bitches. Once you loose the balls you will understand what its like to be called a bitch.

Katie









Let me apparently be the first to say congratulations on your next big step. :D

He is after all a doctor, so just come right out and say you want to start HRT and would like him/her to administer and monitor them for you.
You don't worry and beat around the bush when you have any other medical problem do you? :D

Sometimes people in here tend to gloss over their memories and forget they didn't always have that bull in a china shop outlook on life. So don't let it bother you.



So what you are saying is, It's OK to continue to lie and do what she is doing with her current GP and just find someone else she can go to and get what she wants from. How is THAT showing being "Serious"?? Tell me. :straightface:

SO why don't you cut the girl a little slack, we each have our own way of getting through this.
I would like to think that you were once a nice, sweet and maybe even scared at times person and weren't always the cold hard jaded bitch you come off as now.
Oh and I say this for "Entertainment purposes only" Kate ;)



:lol2: REALLY? Call me crazy but..... I think that
"Your not really a woman or full time or serious if you own ANY guy clothes" rule is Bullshit!

I happen to like wearing my dad's sweater.
I happen to like my items of guy "boyfriend" clothes.
Some of which I've bought AFTER going full time. :devil:

I saw a "men's" 3/4 length winter wool coat for $40 bucks.
Same coat 5 aisles over in the woman's section? $250
Take a wild guess which one I bought home with me? :)

Why? Because girls can wear whatever they want remember? :lol2:

[Sammy777]

Sammy I did cut the girl some slack. How so? I didnt tear into her.

Now refering to you. You called me a bitch. I dont think I have ever called anyone on here a bitch. Your pre-op. How do I know this? Because you are expressing yourself like a guy would. If you ever loose the balls then you will understand. Till then it would be nice you not call me a bitch. Understand?

Funny thing is you dont even know me. I am one of the nicest people out there and one of the most realistic you could ever read text from. If you dont agree thats totally fine. As I have said transition does not start till after SRS and since your not post-op you cant even understand what I know. Does that make me royalty, the all powerful woman? LOL no. I just know things you cannot know till after SRS. Simple and sweet.

Dont call people bitches. Once you loose the balls you will understand what its like to be called a bitch.

Katie

No you just responded to her with the same holier then thou disdain you seem to feel for any pre-op that isn't doing it right.
You are a self proclaimed bitch. Would you like me to pull up any number of post where you say it along with the you wanna-be's aren't going to get it till you have vag.

Something in the way you post "For Entertainment Purposes" tells me you are now and have always been the I'm one better then you type.
I bet when you were just starting out on HRT every girl that wasn't on them wasn't serious and wouldn't get it till they were.
When you went full time every girl that wasn't full time wasn't serious and wouldn't get it until they were.
And now it's if you don't have a vag or plan on getting one next week you just aren't getting it.

Well if being articulate and passionate is deemed "Being a guy" to you then I would hate to find out your definition of a woman is.

I'm sorry you think I have a guy-ish mindset, actually - I could care less.

My oh my what is so guy-ish about my expression?
Was it that a called you a bitch? Would you rather I called you a ****.
Would that make me more endearing as a woman to you?

Oh and one more thing, I don't think "losing the balls" is going to change how I feel about being called a bitch. I don't need a vag to know full and well what's like to be called one, or worse.

You know things I don't know because you have a vag. Like what for example, how to tell people how it is?
How to sit back and laugh at all the "fakes and phonies" while posting for "Entertainment Purposes" here?

I am not the only one on here who sees right through you. I'm just the one "with the balls" to actually say something.

If you want to further discuss any of these topics feel free to PM me as I do not want to further stomp all over Michelle's thread.
Have a nice day :D

:heehee:

[Chickhe]

If it was me, (and its not)... for something like this I would find a new doctor who only sees the new me, this is because the people who know you as you were, will see you as you were, not as how you are. The other reason, if you say something wrong or don't get the desired result you can always try another new doctor...but with the old one there is a lot of history and you might feel really bad if that doctor doesn't turn out to support you. Third reason, the new doctor and staff don't know you, so gossip will be minimal, if you know someone for 30 years, chances are they know others that you know and word gets around even as innocent mistakes.

[Michelle James]

Well, I'm feeling real good about myself now!! Seems I'm just a poser or a wanna be. WTF!!

I apologize to those who think I am not worthy if I still have my balls. My mistake. Won't happen again.

[Stephenie S]

Oh Michelle,

Please don't be upset. I had no intention to imply that you are a poser or a wanna be. Not at all. I know you're not. Well, maybe you wanna be a girl. LOL

You are taking a good first step.

I was, in my usual blunt and clumsy way, trying to prod you on your way. I reread your post. Nowhere do you mention being full time, so I was outta line. Sorry.

What I said about your doc is true, however. Be prepared for a refusal. Many docs are just not comfortable (and rightly so) with prescribing hormone therapy to TG folk. Ask your doc for a referral to an endocrinologist. I thought that would be a good opening. Then you can explain why you want it. OR, just come out and say it. Talking to your doc is gonna be one of the LEAST traumatic experiences of your transition.

Keep up the good work.

Stephie

[Rianna Humble]

I am one of the nicest people out there

So you say, pity you never demonstrate how nice you can be in this forum.

[Jessinthesprings]

I was pretty straightforward with my doc. I told the receptionist that I wanted female hormones when I scheduled my appointment so when it came time for the appointment the doctor already knew why and the rest was history. Don't worry about anything. My doctor frequently has residency doctors with him or doing the check ups alone and they have always treated me well. My biggest suggestion is to be open and honest. this is a life changing decision that has consiquences.

[Jessinthesprings]

Umm did the thought ever occur to you to make an appointment with another doctor for JUST the hormones? Oh and going to a doctor as a boy will get you sent to a therapist for letters. Sorry but NOBODY can take a boy who says he is a girl seriously. You have to SHOW your serious.

Agreeed whole heartedly. My doctor would not even prescribe hormones unless I made an attempt to go full time.

[Michelle James]

I did it. I told him. It really didn't phase him at all. he said I would be treated with respect by all in his office. Why don't I feel better about it?

[Rianna Humble]

Firstly, well done for taking a big step forward.

As for your question - after the worries you had about whether you would be accepted, the response was probably such an anticlimax that you are feeling a little let down. As his words sink in and prove to be true, you will realoise that this was exactly the response you deserved.

[Sammy777]

I did it. I told him. Why don't I feel better about it?

Congratulations. Don't worry, you will. :D
Telling him and knowing you are getting them [I'm guessing he said yes] is a weight off your shoulder.
Once you get them you will probably be as giddy as a school girl.

[Michelle James]

Congratulations. Don't worry, you will. :D
Telling him and knowing you are getting them [I'm guessing he said yes] is a weight off your shoulder.
Once you get them you will probably be as giddy as a school girl.

With regard to the hormones his answer was not what I had hoped for. He said he has no experience with that and would not feel comfortable. He did say he knew someone who specializes in trans patients and when I come in next time he will give me a referral.

[Jessinthesprings]

With regard to the hormones his answer was not what I had hoped for. He said he has no experience with that and would not feel comfortable. He did say he knew someone who specializes in trans patients and when I come in next time he will give me a referral.

Trust me when I say this... That was the best response. This other doctor will have the experiance to tailor your dosage to suit your needs. There is no one size fits all prescription. Especially when it comes antegens.

[Sammy777]

With regard to the hormones his answer was not what I had hoped for.

Aww I'm sorry to hear that but I guess it explains the ho hum feeling you had.
But look at the bright side, no more needing to hide yourself from the office and you now have access to someone with exp in the field and will be on your way before you know it :)

[Rianna Humble]

With regard to the hormones his answer was not what I had hoped for. He said he has no experience with that and would not feel comfortable. He did say he knew someone who specializes in trans patients and when I come in next time he will give me a referral.

If I had asked my doctor about hormones and got the same answer, I would be very happy - we can't expect our general practitioners to have specialised knowledge in everything and your doctor apparently does not wish to endanger your health by treating you in an area that needs knowledge that he does not possess.