girl of dreams!

[andreapink]

so i met this girl a year ago. we were just friends for a while then we became friends with benefits. for some reason i told her about me dressing the first day we met. she was like ok but that was that. then when we started sleeping together she asked if i would dress up for her. so i said sure of course! she asked if she could do my make up. i said sure! then we kinda became best friends, but now she wants to be serious and date! so i suppose i should be jumping to say yes seeing as she is so awesome not to mention so beautiful i would say out of my league, but i dont play! she is basically my dream girl! and me her dream man! so why am i so afraid to commit to her? ugh its like i want to but also dont. as far as being a cd goes she would be the best/ most accepting and fun partner. as far as everything else basically the same! cant figure out why im so afraid to commit to her. maybe dont wanna hurt her, or change her mind on me dressing after, i dunno! just needed to get it off my chest and get some unbiased advice.

thanks

Andrea

[k lynn]

Sounds like to me you had better take her off the market a woman like that is hard to find

[Jeanna]

You are kidding right?

[andreapink]

no im not kidding at all!

[KrystalA]

Latch onto that girl and hold on tight!! There are hundreds of girls on this site that would absolutely love to be in your position.

[andreapink]

i think i just fear that she was open in the beginning because she wanted me fall for her but will not be so ok with me dressing after i commit. she has already made several gay comments, and i should go just hook up with a tranny comment, but at the same time she still wants me as her man bad! and seriously she is awesome and drop dead gorgeous! almost tooo gorgeous!

[sarahcsc]

Does she have a sister?

[Diane Lynn]

How would you hurt her? Are you true to your feelings? What is your sexual orientation? If you truely love her, go for it. My SO was okay with my dressing and we went out alot as woman. She asked me to move out due to my dressing. We talked, set a new set of boundries and we are planning a girls day out today. The only downside is she will not have physical contact with Sarah. Go for it.

[andreapink]

lol yea she has several sisters! but they are kinda looking for sugar daddys! haha

[andreapink]

and to sarah, i am str8, and have been completely honest since the first day i met her. and she has been a huge part of me growing and having more confidence for sure!

[Laura912]

If you remove the CDing from the relationship, are there things of value to both of you that will sustain you through a long time? You also sound a little insecure with her because she is so awesome. Before proceeding you may need to have a real talk about cross dressing and what it means to you, how you would like it to fit in the relationship, and how she would like it to fit in the relationship. Get the boundaries defined so that there will not be any hurt feelings or surprises later.
Laura

[Diane Lynn]

Give it a chance. I am not saying get married, give it all you can. See where it goes. My first wife divorced me when she found out. When I met my SO, I told her right away, and has been great. We are engaged, and are talking with our pastor about setting a date. He has never met a CD and is not totally supporting us, but said there is nothing in the bible that says we shouldn't do it. We are going to Ann Arbor dressed today, and I want to go to a bridal shop.

[andreapink]

its been talked about and its clear. im just thinking its almost to good to be true! guess im just an idiot but i feel like there is no way things could be this perfect.

[Raychel]

This sounds like a match maid in heaven. You should tell her just how you feel, That you don't want to hurt her with your cd'ing, and that you feel she is a bit out of your league, I would expect that she will set your mind at ease. and you will have a happy life together.

Just be sure that you have plenty of other interest that will keep the relationship alive.

I can't wait to her the rest of this story.

[DAVIDA]

Not really my business, but I think that if you keep putting her off, she will become someone elses "to good to be true" girlfriend.:straightface:

[andreapink]

this is so very true! we do have sooooooooooooo much in common its kinda scary! we literally finish each others sentences and say the same thing at the same time all the time, its kinda freaky! i think part of it is her family hates me but they have never even met me! they think im stealing her away, and that kinda bugs me i guess. i dunno im still trying to understand my own feelings of why and how and all that right now and all the advice is really helpful and great so thank you all!

[DAVIDA]

Well, that's easy.
Don't date her family!:D

[Raychel]

Like I said talk to her about your true feelings. Tell her just how yoiu feel, Women are surprisingly understanding sometimes. But especially so when you are talking from the heart.

[dafni]

andrea, please rest ur fears and commit, if u have been totally honest with her and she with u, do it, i am in a similar situation and just adore my gf and love the fact she has actually embraced my cding, once in a lifetime shot i figure

[Mollyanne]

I read and re-read your initial post and some of the response if not all of them. My first reaction to all of this is that "something is missing". There are soooo many questions that I could ask but I refrain from doing that very thing. Only you can answer the most personal questions as to commitment or 'the lack of it", the real reason(s) as to why her family hates you, and all the other things that go with this relationship.

Mollyanne

[andreapink]

yea i suppose i should! she just moved away though so we dont see each other as often as we did. but if you look at my last pic post she gave me all those tops and that bra and green dress before she moved. so she really is kinda a keeper! gosh what have i been thinking

[Raychel]

then we kinda became best friends, but now she wants to be serious and date!


Now I am a bit confused, How are you going to date, if she moved away. That will be a bit dificult???????

[andreapink]

its a temporary move for a couple months.

[Raychel]

Well then I guess you need to call her, ALOT. Don't let this one get away. Make the trips and go visit her. I hope it isn't too far.

[sarahcsc]

and to sarah, i am str8, and have been completely honest since the first day i met her. and she has been a huge part of me growing and having more confidence for sure!

Lol. I was kidding about the sisters but thank you for letting me know. Andrea, I think a person can feel insecure for feeling insecure. There really is no point analyzing too much because you will just end up making a mess out of the situation. Plan a little for the future but don't plan too far ahead and don't expect all your plans to come true. If you want to know how serious you are about her, then just picture yourself 5 to 10 years down the track... do you see her in your life?

Don't get disheartened if you don't see her, that might change, I'm just telling you thats how I would judge how serious I am with someone. But if you see yourself going steady with her for the next 12 months, then make your dream a reality!

Love is the only game which you lose if you don't play.

There's always a lesson to learn at the end of the day. ^__^

hey it rhymes!

Good luck sister!

[andreapink]

thank you much! i love all the advice

[PretzelGirl]

One thing I would do is put this "she is out of my league" thought out of your mind. If you say that to her, you are telling her that you don't think much of yourself. You are special too! You deserve someone special in return! You deserve happiness! Sometimes when good things come our way, we scuttle them with negative thoughts. Stop! It is time for good things. Let it happen and enjoy it.

[Alice Torn]

What would Dr. Laura say? LOL. In past generations, if you had "benefits", you were considered a pair, and were to marry, sometimes at the barrel of a shotgun! It sounds like too good to be true, but, also a once in a million chance. If you are willing to commit, like John Wayne said to a fellow cavalryman, at the end o, "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon", MARRY THAT GIRL!

[AllieSF]

I do not know how old you are, but dating does not necessarily and automatically mean marriage and a life long commitment to one person. So, instead of fighting it, why not just embrace the moment, do not think long term, think now and enjoy it all. Too much thinking about anything can eventually spoil it. If she is average mature, she is probably well aware that first you date and have fun, fall into a puppy love type of relationship and then over the medium term, maybe a year or so, either come together as a real couple, start thinking longer term, continue enjoying a great relationship until the next one comes along, or maybe decide to move on in life and look for someone else. The only commitment you may need to make now is to be monogamous with her during the time you are dating her. If she is a great person, that should be real easy.

There are so many things that make a relationship work, and the acceptance of your gender variance is only one. What about communication, political and religious beliefs, common sense, honesty, morals, and so on? All these things need to line up in some similar and complimenting way to make it all work. That is why dating should be fun and a great training and learning time. I say go for it.

[chelle]

Everyone should be nervous about making a lifetime commitment because it is so serious. The guy that is not nervous is the one I'd have questions for.
Chelle

[paula123]

I would love to be in your shoes you should hold on to her

[andreapink]

i guess thats how us youngsters do it these days!

[Alice Torn]

Really like those shoes in your av!

[Julogden]

i think i just fear that she was open in the beginning because she wanted me fall for her but will not be so ok with me dressing after i commit. she has already made several gay comments, and i should go just hook up with a tranny comment, but at the same time she still wants me as her man bad! and seriously she is awesome and drop dead gorgeous! almost tooo gorgeous!
If you haven't already, spell out to her very clearly that dressing is an important part of who you are and make sure that she is really okay with it, and even then proceed with caution, as you already are picking up some signs that all may not be right with her.

After seeing so many CD's/trans women end up in relationships with spouses who have issues with their dressing and/or gender issues, I feel that it's really important make it very clear early in a relationship that your dressing isn't going to be going away, and may escalate. If you haven't yet worked out exactly where you're going with your dressing, do yourself a BIG favor and work that out before getting into any serious relationships.

Carol

[busker]

yea i suppose i should! she just moved away though so we dont see each other as often as we did. but if you look at my last pic post she gave me all those tops and that bra and green dress before she moved. so she really is kinda a keeper! gosh what have i been thinking

I'm confused. she's moved, gave you some of her clothes so it sounds like you are about the same size and did you wear her clothes? ( a good bye gift?) and said that maybe you ", should go just hook up with a tranny ", and her sisters are looking for sugar daddies? Is that her word "tranny" or your interpretation? How much does she understand about "trannies" and crossdressing? I guess it's possible, but there seems to be something about this family , and your relationship, you're not saying and that could make the whole difference in what kind of suggestions/advice to give you. From my dot on the map, "something stinks in Denmark". I always look through a half-empty glass and top half that's missing seems to be the important part of the story.

[sexygal]

When her family sees just how much you love her and care for her they may warm up to you better. I know, my in-laws did.

[jillleanne]

Maybe you are just not ready for a committment of any sort just yet. Nothing wrong with that.