Crossdressers at the mall

[NathalieX66]

Not that I'm enticing, or encouraging anyone to go en femme at the mall, , but today I saw a CD & wife shopping. No one cared, no one gawked.
I happen to be at the makeup counter at Macys en drab, trying out new foundations, then roamed the mall.
I'm just glad that a few of you out there are brave enough to do it.
I've shopped many times en femme, and it's a trip seeing others do it, even when I dress as a guy, such as today.
You girls are out there......I am out there too.
That's my rant for today..... You girls rule. :thumbsup:
Peace& love,
Nathalie

[Sandra]

We always do shopping together and it's true people just go about their own business and ignore you, they are not interested in you.

[Amy07]

Just be safe, people.
Passing is in the eye of the beholder.

[Contessa]

Natalie I can't believe you wouldn't always go some where en femme you look fabulous. I have not been to the mall en femme yet though I do plan on going I just kind of don't want to go alone. If I knew Eryn I'd try to get her to go with me. I don't have any cding close friends though I do attend a group here. But I do have a few experiences out en femme. I am working up to going out, I need one more piece of shape wear to give me some hips and a rear to make me look more femme. Good luck to you though.

Contessa Marie

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I went shopping today en femme, not at an actual mall but on Ventura Blvd here in Studio City where there's a bunch of shops to walk to and people didn't really bat an eye. I was shopping with a GG friend and it was an overall pleasant afternoon. I also think that how you carry yourself has a lot to do with it, just be comfortable and confident (but aware of your surroundings) and people will tend to be at ease around you.

[Kaz]

Going out dressed still freaks me out... probably because I don't get to do it much these days... but I have mostly had great experiences and those that were more worrying were probably in my head and of my own making. Confidence is a big thing... I have noticed some CDs out occasionally... not often... it is a little like waiting for a bus (as we say in the UK).. you go a week without seeing one and then three come along at once!

When I have clocked one, what do I do? Just carry on as normal like everyone else around. Everytime I have noticed a CD in public I have also noticed no response from anyone!

Yes, Amy, we need to think safe... but if we stay in 'safe' places... we can achieve a lot!

[Cindy M]

I always go to the mall with my Wife. She gives me courage and it just looks like 2 women shopping... or that's what I believe in my mind.

[Kaz]

Hi Cindy Jean,

I think it also works with a male friend. A while back I was in an Indian restaurant with my wife (in drab... she doesn't approve of Kaz!), and there was a definate CD en femme with a guy at a nearby table. They were having a lively conversation and 'her' voice was definately in the lower register. No one behaved any differently than if they were a regular guy and girl - and my wife didn't notice a thing! Even though she does 'know' I CD 'at times'. It really is in the eye of the beholder. If the beholder thinks you are a CD but doesn't make a scene? That is a result!

[PretzelGirl]

I go out with my wife also. After all, she needs clothes too! :heehee:

But I don't seem to have that built-in ability to recognize other CD'ers as many here do as I never knowingly seen one. Or maybe I am not trying. :idontknow:

[STACY B]

:daydreaming::daydreaming::daydreaming: YA know why ya dont see alot of CDs when your out shoping ??????? HUH /??? Becaise NOT like me they all probily got there dam MAKEUP ON RIGHT :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:

[Launa]

I was in Las Vegas a couple weeks ago and didn't see a CD around the city anywhere until I was in a store and there she was standing in front of me at the cashier, nobody looked twice or cared. At that point I said to myself hey nobody cares about our crossdressing as much as we think they do. It sure was good too see.

[sexygal]

I have been shopping dressed in public many times (years ago) and no one seemed to care. Was a wonderful feeling trying on dresses and skirts without a care in the world.

[sonna]

i have been to the mall on a saturday afternoon by myself nobody cared. life changing expierence. i think if you act like that mall is yours
so to speek knobody will look at you twice.. and if they did all they did was look...and who cares what they think just do what you like.

[Eryn]

If I knew Eryn I'd try to get her to go with me.

I tried to look up your location on a map. Do you know that there are six "Spring Valleys" in California? None of them are very close to me, though.


I went shopping today en femme, not at an actual mall but on Ventura Blvd here in Studio City where there's a bunch of shops to walk to and people didn't really bat an eye. I was shopping with a GG friend and it was an overall pleasant afternoon. I also think that how you carry yourself has a lot to do with it, just be comfortable and confident (but aware of your surroundings) and people will tend to be at ease around you.

Mimi and I have shopped along Ventura Blvd. Lots of interesting stores and restaurants to visit.


I have noticed some CDs out occasionally... not often... it is a little like waiting for a bus (as we say in the UK).. you go a week without seeing one and then three come along at once!

When I have clocked one, what do I do? Just carry on as normal like everyone else around. Everytime I have noticed a CD in public I have also noticed no response from anyone!

I really cannot positively ID a CDer in public. I can be 50% sure or even 90% sure, but I know a couple of GGs who I would also identify as likely CDers if I passed them in public. The only danger comes from people who don't think before they blurt, children, teens, and drunks. I try to avoid all three.


I always go to the mall with my Wife. She gives me courage and it just looks like 2 women shopping... or that's what I believe in my mind.

I go out with my wife also. After all, she needs clothes too! :heehee:

Yes, I really like having my "wife armor" with me. The fact that I have a GG interacting normally with me adds to my presentation. Mimi says she enjoys it too. The biggest difficulty I have is remembering to *not* act like a gentleman. Hard to fight decades of ingrained social habits!

Mimi gives me a lot of confidence, but the odd thing is that, after the first time, I've never had to "screw up my courage" to get out the door. We just get ready and go!

[RenneB]

Love the mall. It's actually cheaper than shoppin on line. I can go click click and spend way too much, but when I click clack I spend more time shopping and looking than I do spending. I've gotten to know the malls around here pretty well and know where to go if I want something in particular.

I'm going to an upscale mall next week and see if there are any girls/ladies in dresses... I hate being the only one, especially when I'm trying to blend...

Renne.....

[jillleanne]

Although I do visit malls en femme, I hate the things. Crowded, noisy, screaming kids, repetitive items on so called 'sales' and always too hot. Why do they need to turn the heat so high in malls? I'll take independant stores anyday over malls, even if they are on the ends of the malls. I just ignore the mall part. Must be getting old or something. lol

[StaceyJane]

I go shopping en femme at the mall all the time. I've got a bunch of stores to check out.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I also love shopping, at the mall, or small strip shopping centers, or just the local CVS for some makeup. I have never had any one be mean to me. I have had a few looks from mostly men that you can read their mind as a "What the heck?" But they kept to themselves. I enjoy how women are actually open to a person that is brave enough to be true to themselves by a smile or open greeting in their, "Hello, You look Nice."

[~Joanne~]

This conversation is almost what I was thinking about the other day. There is a GG who dresses very nicely, almost "to nicely" at the store next to where I work. She's not very pretty, not butt ugly though, and I often find myself wondering.......because her style is a lot nicer than the other women that work there.

Since I have been on this forum, I have become a lot more aware of the people around me than I have ever been. I notice makeup a lot more, I notice how women walk and such where I had never paid attention to it, and I am seeing CD's everywhere yet no where at the same time.

Being closeted though, I have never gone out and about to the mall in anything but drab. I do , however, when I have an abundance of courage, shop in drab. I have yet to see a sister in any store yet.

Joanne

[Robyn7778]

For those who shop en femme, I guess I'm not surprised that most people just go about their business and leave you alone, but do you ever have issue with the sales people and/or store management? Do you try things on? And if so, how do you go about that and how has it been received? I've gotten more comfortable shopping for myself, but always in drab, and have found the biggest issue is not being able to try anything on, so I have to go back to the store to exchange or return it after trying on at home.

[DaniIfeelike a woman]

I go shopping all the time in the womens section here in Hicksville Idaho. Get a lot of strange looks, like yesterday, had 5 dresses and went to the dressing rooms. One was sooo sexy and fit just right and bought it. Was looking at shoes and found a nice sexy pair, and put them on and was walking around in them and got some strange looks also.

[Shelly Preston]

Shopping can be so much fun, I have shopped on my own as part of a couple and in a group.
There have been no issues over trying anything on in store. It's great if you can get a second opinion before buying anything. I have a couple of store reward cards issued to me as well. I am sure there are others out there shopping but I have not noticed them too often.

Too much to buy, too little money :heehee: It's a tough life

[danielle3]

I've never gone out myself, but I do like to check out what everyone is wearing. And yet I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of confirmed cross-dressers I have ever seen. I guess I must also lack any 'radar' sense or maybe I'm just going to the wrong places.
I have occasionally seen nervous-looking males browsing dress racks, however. They must not all be buying for their girlfriends...
Dani

[jjjjohanne]

I think that I have decided that I am scared of people seeing me the first time. After they notice something unusual, they get their look or two and then go on about their business. After being around someone, and they have had their reaction or not, then I am more at ease. With enough people passing me by, I eventually become numbed to it all.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

After being around someone, and they have had their reaction or not, then I am more at ease. With enough people passing me by, I eventually become numbed to it all.

That's how it was for me. When I first went in public as a man in skirts, I started by being hyper aware of everyone's reaction which made me nervous, which attracted negative attention, which only made me more anxious. Now I am barely aware of when I get noticed unless I'm actively looking for it, which I will be in new situations but usually am able to put aside.

Interesting thought to ponder though is that I actually started paying more attention last year to the reaction when I'm dressed in more typical male garb, like jeans and such, and I *still* notice people noticing me. I think we give a lot more credence to what our brain tells us people are thinking about us and what they actually are thinking. Sometimes people just notice us because we've crossed their paths. Either that or I'm just more attractive a guy than I give myself credit for. ;-)

[ThiHi]

This has been my first real time out in skirts. I look pretty femme to start with, apparently. But we're in palm springs and the area on a trip. Two full days of shopping in long and pretty short skirts, no one cares. Lots of smiles and positive comments on my very cute new shoes. And yes, no issues trying things on.

[dizzy]

I was at the mall on Monday, was shopping for my wifes valentines present. I was wearing tennis shoes, yoga pants, t-shirt, breast forms, makeup, earrings and rings, nails were painted a bright pink and even a womens coat with a scarf, the place was packed with older people walking and nobody said anything, even had a nice conversation with a sales lady when I purchased her present. Then that night I changed into womens jeans and a pullover shirt while the wife and me went for dinner and a walk through the mall together.

[morgan51]

I beleive confidence is the key to going anywhere and everywhere enfem. I live in northern wyoming and shop here and southern montanna and find little or no resistance perhaps a few looks but no problems so far I've been going out and about for over a year now shopping restaurants bookstores etc. I even found a tattoo parlor that is very accepting even has a T working there. The wig shop I go to has been great. All around merchants just want our business and the public for the most part has a life of thier own. I am aware that could change at some point but so far so good. Funniest reaction was in a bookstore from a young sales lady when she addressed me as "mam er sir er whatever you are?" I got a good laugh out of that, it wasn't said hurtfully.

[sinead]

Not a bit surprised
I spent 2 hours in the mall with my wife dressed in a school uniform and not one person gave me a second glance, not sure if I was happy or sad, although I had read somewhere that it's best to go out in busy enviroments so as not to stand out too much.

[HollyH20]

I think there are so many women out there that dress like men, and even look questionable in terms of their sex, it has become easier to blend in. I guess I'm not a blender though, I always where heels red lips, eyeliner, and a short dress, with long blonde hair, and get a lot of looks, but I'm confident i my look, and don't think they are lookingat a man dressed as a woman, but as a woman that likes to look like a woman

[sissystephanie]

When I feel like going to the Mall, I go! Doesn't matter how I am dressed! I dress to please myself, not the rest of the public. As long as I am decently covered, that is all that counts! BTW, when I am dressed enfemme (whiuch is a great deal of my time) I still look like a man with no wig or makeup! And the amazing thing is that no one pays any attention to me!!

[kimdl93]

what's really cool is that the CD and wife were together. That's wonderful. I've seen fellow CDs out shopping and at the same grocery where I shop. Its good to know we aren't alone!

[Vanessa5]

I can say that I have seen some sisters. At the MOA a few weeks back there was a group and they were having a blast. I almost had the courage to introduce myself but with the family along that would be too much.

Then at a local Cub foods there was a sister working the register. To my surprise my wife talked and complimented her and treated her just like an old aquantince.

[Eryn]

For those who shop en femme, I guess I'm not surprised that most people just go about their business and leave you alone, but do you ever have issue with the sales people and/or store management? Do you try things on? And if so, how do you go about that and how has it been received? I've gotten more comfortable shopping for myself, but always in drab, and have found the biggest issue is not being able to try anything on, so I have to go back to the store to exchange or return it after trying on at home.
I've never had any problem with either management or sales people. I'm much less concerned about them than the public in general because they have company guidelines to go by which probably are something like "Do anything to sell stuff." As long as I present reasonably well they are very unlikely to cause me a problem.

Try things on? Of course! That's the absolute best thing about shopping en femme! You do whatever the GGs are doing. One thing I've learned is to dress in clothes that make shopping easier, because they'e going to come off a few times in the dressing room. Flats, jeans, and a simple top that can be easily removed over a wig is a good shopping outfit. Once you shop en femme you won't want to do it any other way!

[Robyn7778]

I've never had any problem with either management or sales people. I'm much less concerned about them than the public in general because they have company guidelines to go by which probably are something like "Do anything to sell stuff." As long as I present reasonably well they are very unlikely to cause me a problem.

Try things on? Of course! That's the absolute best thing about shopping en femme! You do whatever the GGs are doing. One thing I've learned is to dress in clothes that make shopping easier, because they'e going to come off a few times in the dressing room. Flats, jeans, and a simple top that can be easily removed over a wig is a good shopping outfit. Once you shop en femme you won't want to do it any other way!

Thanks! It may take some doing, but now I'm going to have to get up the nerve to go shopping en femme!

[S. Lisa Smith]

I love going shopping en femme. I think I pass and I guess that is all that matters. As everyone else has said, go out, act like you own the place and have fun!!

[linda allen]

I keep seeing advice to go out, go to the mall, etc., nobody will notice, but then I read threads where "I saw another CDer at the mall today."

Some people are going to notice unless you are really passable. Many will not pay attention, but some folks will sit and watch the other people walk by. They may go home and post on a web forum. :heehee:

The real question you have to ask yourself is "Do I care if someone identifies me as a crossdresser?"

My answer at this point in my life is, I would rather they not, but as long as they don't know me, it's OK. If it's a friend or neighbor or someone I will interact with in the future, it would really bother me.

I'm sure other CDers feel differently, some are out 24/7, some never leave the house.