Work vs. CD'ing, Which one wins?

[rachaelsloane]

I was out Friday night with a friend and she asked me " Do I sometimes find myself pushing aside work to do CD related things" and I had to say YES. It got me thinking that I cannot be the only one, so my question is: "Who else has found themselves doing the same?"
Rachael

[johanna.kitten]

Yeah, sometimes I gone for days. Just had my review (last Thursday) and they made me sign some freakin' paperwork that I have to dress appropriate - now, I never got to understand if this means "do not wear women's no more or ****ing else". I do make an effort to look good at work in whatever mode, and I consider myself being the best dressed person at my place of work.

/Johanna

[cracks_in_porcelain]

I sometimes take days off to go shopping or maybe just kill the itch. Def agree! :)

[cracks_in_porcelain]

Yeah, sometimes I gone for days. Just had my review (last Thursday) and they made me sign some freakin' paperwork that I have to dress appropriate - now, I never got to understand if this means "do not wear women's no more or ****ing else". I do make an effort to look good at work in whatever mode, and I consider myself being the best dressed person at my place of work.

/Johanna

It means dress like a man. What did you wear? I'm sure it was business professional.

[Sarah Doepner]

It can be a constant battle to find time enough for work, family, old friends and the CD world. It's one of the biggest sources of stress, particularly if you don't have someone who has a foot in both worlds so you can double up a little. Other than that you will fight it as you look for balance in an off-balance world.

For instance, right now I should be preparing for vacation instead of stopping in here, on Facebook and catching up with news from my local support group. We are not masters of time, as much as we would want to be.

[PretzelGirl]

Well, obviously we look at our jobs as important. Just look at how many don't want work to know so their jobs are at risk. So we do have to be careful with our priorities.

While I think my job would not have an issue if I was seen by someone (I'll bet that has already happened), there is still a responsibility to do a good job if you want to build value. And if you have value, your job is more stable. So for me, I don't take days off for dressing. Even when it comes to overtime, which I get to set my own pace, I have think about it a little. If something is time sensitive, work wins. If I am just backlogged, then it is a coin toss.

[Monique L]

Work wins everytime, Monique is very high maintainence :D.

[Karren H]

I'm lucky enough to get to do both on business trips. Nothing like crossdressing on an expense account! :)

[Princess Chantal]

I do mould my work at times to suit my crossdressing. Whether it be trying to book one of my flex days or modify the time of my shift to accomodate a planned activity. There were countless times where I wasn't able to do so and ended up cutting my night short to rush home to get ready for and head straight to work (the joys of starting at 2am).
However, I could do without crossdressing and could not do without work. So work would win if it has to be a choice.

[Stephanie47]

Before I retired I had to take off 'therapy' days to not only clear my head of the work related daily crap, but, also time to be en femme for seven hours. Now, as a retiree with the ability to be en femme five days a week, I do not feel the stress/need to be en femme. It's nice to be able to act on impulse-to dress en homme!

[Raven Tripp]

Yes well paying the rent is important. My work life is not suitable to my dressing appropriately as I would like!!

[johanna.kitten]

It means dress like a man. What did you wear? I'm sure it was business professional.

Not sure wot it means as I made sure it was in my contract when I started off that I could wear whatever I liked, it only needed to be smart. I am in a IT/office environment so when needed I go drabs if I have to attend meetings, seeing customers/sales people etc. Basically there is only one person at work that have a problem with me and this person is not even in a manager type of role.

Hey, I guess they never figured that they had a little TG to be, crosser when they hired me and draw up that contract. I'm protected by law in this country!

/Johanna at wannabegirl dot co dot uk

[DanaR]

Yeah, sometimes I gone for days. Just had my review (last Thursday) and they made me sign some freakin' paperwork that I have to dress appropriate - now, I never got to understand if this means "do not wear women's no more or ****ing else". I do make an effort to look good at work in whatever mode, and I consider myself being the best dressed person at my place of work.

/Johanna
I think that you might carefully start asking some questions regarding this. What it sounds like, is that they started documenting your appearance; which they might be doing if they felt the need to provide enough documentation to justify firing you. If it doesn't matter, continue on, but it sounds like someone doesn't like something about you. I'm not trying to create any problems, but just thought I would warn you.

[Eryn]

Work has to win. Responsibilities to my family come way before dressing.

To Johanna: If they singled you out to sign some sort of "appropriateness" paperwork they are already discriminating against you.

[johanna.kitten]

I think that you might carefully start asking some questions regarding this. What it sounds like, is that they started documenting your appearance; which they might be doing if they felt the need to provide enough documentation to justify firing you. If it doesn't matter, continue on, but it sounds like someone doesn't like something about you. I'm not trying to create any problems, but just thought I would warn you.

Cheers! I think they would have had me fooked long time ago if they did not like me. Now, I know for a fact that I have the support of CEO, CTO, HR and professional services in both CDing and transitioning. Probably it is only the 22 inch hair extensions and burgundy nail varnish, perhaps even the 4 inch heels that makes such a good sound from them hardwood floors in my office that pester them. I can change if need be but then again - another job is just a phone call away for me as I am quite sought after. And when it comes to documenting things, all email, skype, msn, icq etc. - all my phone calls are recorded off-site, my handset records video/audio from the very second I set foot in the office, every day.

/Johanna at wannabegirl dot co dot uk

[Rachel B42]

Work wins but it can't stop me from underdressing, everyday I have a little girly secret and it feels great!

[Cheryl T]

I used to do that but then I came out to my wife and found her to be completely accepting and understanding. That allows me the freedom to dress whenever I wish and removes the need to "steal" time from other things.

[sandra-leigh]

" Do I sometimes find myself pushing aside work to do CD related things"

If I am not doing anything else, then I am working. 15+ hours a day is common for me. Any "self-care time" (cross-dressing, reading, having a shower, sleeping) is from me pushing aside work. My workplace routinely gets annoyed at me for not taking enough holidays (it causes financial problems.)

Have I ever taken a holiday so that I can dress up and go out shopping or the like? Yes. That's what holidays are for: breaks to allow you to refresh yourself. It isn't any different in that respect than the fair number of people at work who take some spring or summer Fridays off to go camping or to a cottage.

These days there is always someone claiming that I personally, out of everyone in the world, am their only hope of passing their university degree, that I have to help them, right now. The more people I help, the more become convinced that I am their only hope. The situation is very draining, a recipe for burn-out.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to put aside your work and take care of yourself, knowing that the world will keep running, that other people will cope; knowing that Yes, someone will literally fail university when they might have passed with your help, but that their life will go on anyhow, and that your need to refresh yourself on occasion is as important as their need.

[Kate Simmons]

I guess that works if you are independently wealthy or work for yourself.:)

[Natalee]

Luckily, I've been self-employed for 10 years; so I work pretty at home almost every day 8-10 hours, daily. So I made both worlds meet, when my wife started to stay home during the days too.

I think *if* I did have to work a "real" on-site job, I would find a way to either work from home more, or consider introducing dressing at work. Seems I'm an addict..

It took a little while, but my wife is also tolerant, and amazingly accepting of this. As long as she gets her man in the evenings.

[Annaliese2010]

Never. For there is nothing in this gold standard money driven world more important than being productive, makin it, bringin it and.. if you're lucky enough to have 'love' and family..comin home and puttin it in her little hand (aww..), layin it at her feet...kissin her lil toes & awesome as#..lookin up to see her approving smile, hear her giggle and laugh as she pats you on the head then..getn you Up to go out & do it again..and again and...

[Aprilrain]

i'm currently unemployed. someone asked me what my dream job would be i said princess........... DUH!
My BF said you pretty much are! if it weren't true id be mad at him : P

[MsSamanthaErica]

I've often been torn by this question. On one hand I enjoy being myself, but work brings it's own satisfactions. I can't say anyone is right or wrong, but I do know that my job pays for my dream, so while that dream remains attainable I have to keep at it. :-)

[Richelle423]

I've had to past two days off.I thought I was gonna do some good dressing but my SO is sick,so I'm spending the past couple of days underdressed.It's better than nothing.

[suchacutie]

Work has to win, not only over CDing but all the other things in life that we'd rather do. Responsibilities can be a bear, but being an adult can be a bear too. It just comes with the territory when you sign on to family life!

:)

[sandra-leigh]

I've lived "working yourself sick", and I don't recommend it to anyone. :straightface:

There is always more work that I could be doing. My productivity is... quite high, but the demand (more than 10,000 people) outstrips supply (i.e., me). A fair number of the questions require graduate level knowledge. Imagine someone emailing you a question about (for example) hydrology and expecting that in less than a day, you will learn enough about the subject to be able to describe to them in detail the answers to their senior year project. People routinely expect the equivalent from me. And if I come though, then more people ask.

A person has to know their limits. And if living within those limits requires sometimes saying "Enough! I'm taking a day off for me", then do it.

I used to work 80 to 105 hours a week. I now have money sitting in the bank, but I will never get my health back.

[Davena Doll]

work wins, although I do wear a mini skirt underneath my overalls on the oil rig. so I guess they both win

[Shananigans]

I told my SO that if he wants to afford his CDing, he has to work :( lol

We both have quite expensive taste.

[suchacutie]

If I might add a second thought. Tina is an extremely organized and fastidious person. She's probably the only thing that keeps me on the straight and narrow in male mode. Tonight my male self really wanted to procrastinate, even though I have a few hours of preparation that needs to get done before I head in to work tomorrow.

What I know is that given a chance, Tina would dispatch this work asap. The desire to procrastinate was so bad that I was putting off transforming even though my wife and I had agreed that this would be a Tina day. Finally I figured out what I was doing and forced myself to transition. Sure enough, as soon as Tina arrived she hauled into the work, and except for the break I'm taking this moment, she's done a fantastic job!

I guess this is the reverse of the OPs question...Here I am transformed to Tina so that I can get the work done that my male self would have put off til tomorrow!!!!

Ok...I know I'm weird :)

[Miranda09]

Work wins out every time. In fact, I need it to get away from dressing since it can be too addictive and encompassing while I'm at home! Besides, it's my secret life and I'm not ready to share it with the world! :)

[Dannigirl]

You bet. In the winter I work from home and it is quite slow, I dress as much as I can. My wife knows as well so I don't have to hide anything at all. But from April to the end of September, no dressing at all, not even under dressing. So I make up for it from October to the end of March. Last week I was supposed to do some work stuff but traded it for 2 days of Danni time and went shopping. Is getting close to busy season so I better do some work next week.

[Angie G]

Dressing won't pay the bills hun. In fact it cost me some good money.:hugs:
Angie

[ArleneRaquel]

Being retired Cd'ing always wins

[Pinky188]

Guilty!!!!! Sometimes work use to get in the way of my lifestyle. Late nights during the week at clubs is hard to recover from sometimes! But not lately. Im getting better at being at work all the time!

[NathalieX66]

Sorry, I have a mortgage to pay. Money's good, and so are the perks. My boss doesn't know this side of me. I'm lucky I can get away with nearly shoulder length hair in a corporate environment, which I'm still trying to grow longer. I love my job, though I have other ambitions.
When I retire, I'll let this side of me out in all it's glory.

[AllieSF]

There is work, and then there is work. In my case the paying work has retired. However, the day to day work of improving a home and bettering oneself in their free time is suffering. So, for me the dressing and enjoying this new found side of me while the sun shines wins. Now the battle for balance begins!

[Maggey]

Work wins because I have to support two wardrobes.

[Debglam]

First, Missed you last night Rach! Hope all is well!

Trans is who I am. It is a part of me. It wins! Work is just something I do to pay the bills.

Frankly, all of us will be dead and gone someday and our *&$%#& job will still be there! Enjoy life, your family, friends, etc. because it can be over oh so quickly. Just my 2 cents.

Hugs,
Debby

[sandra-leigh]

Dressing won't pay the bills hun.

Being unable to work because you are mentally and physically exhausted won't pay the bills either. Each person needs a balance.

Those of you that have said that work always wins: suppose there was enough work to keep you busy all of the time. 24 hours a day, 365 1/4 days a year, any time of day or night, there was something more to be done. That no matter how much sleep you "need" now, there was enough work that you could choose to work longer hours and go short on sleep. Weekends too. And other people are relying on you. Now, how much would you actually work? Would you give up up dressing completely for a decade solid because "work always wins" ?



Frankly, all of us will be dead and gone someday and our *&$%#& job will still be there! Enjoy life, your family, friends, etc. because it can be over oh so quickly.

Yes Yes Yes!! :thumbup:

[S. Lisa Smith]

I do mould my work at times to suit my crossdressing. Whether it be trying to book one of my flex days or modify the time of my shift to accomodate a planned activity. There were countless times where I wasn't able to do so and ended up cutting my night short to rush home to get ready for and head straight to work (the joys of starting at 2am).
However, I could do without crossdressing and could not do without work. So work would win if it has to be a choice.
I'm the same. Gotta pay the mortgage!

[JamieG]

I have a job that puts me at a desk with a computer most of the day. I frequently find myself tempted to say "Maybe I'll just go see what's going on over crossdressers.com for a few minutes" or "I wonder if there's anything cute on sale at Express." I really have to fight this, because when I give in, a "few minutes" usually turns into a few hours.

[sandra-leigh]

"Maybe I'll just go see what's going on over crossdressers.com for a few minutes" or "I wonder if there's anything cute on sale at Express." I really have to fight this

Yeah! What I did was remind myself that all my web site visits at work are logged, so I set up a hooky mechanism that allows me to go through home and make a text-only browser session if I really want to connect to something. But since text-only browsing is a PITA, this restrains my casual impulses, so I leave this site until I get home. Not that I don't have any withdrawl symptoms...

[PretzelGirl]

Those of you that have said that work always wins: suppose there was enough work to keep you busy all of the time. 24 hours a day, 365 1/4 days a year, any time of day or night, there was something more to be done.

I agree wholeheartedly. But I don't think many of us were answering based on the presumption of unlimited work. Myself, I took the OP:


Do I sometimes find myself pushing aside work to do CD related things" and I had to say YES.

To mean something along the line of taking a day off because dressing sounded good. Maybe coming in late after a night clubbing. Or never taking overtime that can be used for needed family things because you would rather dress.

If it comes to the mega overtime jobs, I certainly agree. There is always more work that can be done but there is only so much time to spend with your family. As I say at work, I don't have a family to support my job, I have a job to support my family.

[brina_cd]

It's a continuum:
Pushing off work to CD because you need to recharge: Healthy.
Taking Vacation days to DO CD things: Healthy
Cutting CD tie short to get ready for work: Healthy.

I haven't see too much here that trips over to addiction, you know, lying to skip work, missing deadlines, decreasing work performance, etc. But there is a line...