is it just me

[sonna]

is it just me, but i feel like the older i get the less i care about what other
people think, inculding family and friends. is that selfish? i dont know!
im sure im not the only one that feels like there stuck breathing through
holes in a box. you know its like god forbid we do something we like.
people are who they are, knowbody has the right to tell you who you
are so (just be it). everybody deserves to be happy so be happy


maybe im tired....maybe im venting.......or can even be the beer

[Laura912]

My wife suggested that as we get older we become caricatures of ourselves...scary thought. Yes, I have more tolerance of variation and others' opinions but less for stupidity. Maybe jousting with those windmills is no longer important, at least for a few things. Old friends and grand children and their parents are important. Yes, what people think is not important unless they are in the categories in the previous sentence. Precision and quality in what I do for fun is important.
Laura

[docrobbysherry]

Unfortunately, we R social creatures, Sonna. We CARE what others think of us. We CARE because we want their company.

If only ALL OF US were strong enuff to say, " This is who I am world, if u don't like me, F OFF!" Or, we could ALL move to an island somewhere and start our own country! If u want me there, it MUST BE in the tropics!

[STACY B]

Hell I been sayin that . what the hell thay cant eat ya . Its alrite for people to do what they want an maybe we dont like what they do ? But if ya sit there an worry about what they do an say hell yull never get nowhere . Your still a friggen man what are thay going to do to ya ?? Let em talk hell there leaving somebodt else alone. Why dont we just start a CD city an we can all live there, I know we cover all the jobs an bizznesses then we can all live in peace finaly DAM . An if someones not dressed we can point an laugh at them .

[5150 Girl]

There comes a point when beeing in the closet gets to much to bear. At this point is when most people come out. Some still hide in misery, but I was one who couldn't take it any longer, about 3 years ago

[Jacqueline Winona]

Not at all! Aging= wisdom, even if I don't like the first part of that equation. :)

[NathalieX66]

Sonna , it's me too.......but not in an arrogant way.
I have finally developed the courage to be me on my own terms.

When you think about fighters in sports , whether it be boxing, MMA, NFL, or hockey, it's not just about giving it to the other guy, but being able to tolerate him beating on you. When it comes to the point of being willing to take the punches, then that demonstrates your own courage and stregnth. Sorry, I feel like I could have said this better somehow.

I'd rather be on my deathbed having made a few mistakes in life because I took a couple of risks than having regrets of what I didn't do.

Oh, FYI.....smoking kills 5.4 million people worldwide, crossdressing kills zero.

[Dorothy159]

I think it's just the fact that you become more comfortable with who you are as you age, and that's simply a side effect. You start to know more what YOU want, and if it's something like CDing, then you'll, of course, want to do it more, regardless of what other people think.

[Barbara Ella]

The social needs of the young generation is far greater than it is for the older generation. therefore, when we are young we are extremely careful about what others think (up to a limit, then they do get the bird). Us older more seasoned individuals have fewer people we need to impress, or even get approval from, therefore i am much less tolerant of the public than i once was, and will not go out of my way in any manner to get anyone's approval any more. It means little to me what anyone i dont already know thinks of me. I suppose this qualifies as becoming an old fart. So be it.

Having said that. Hugs to everyone. Babes

[lori m crawford]

i know what your saying i have live all my life for ever body but me now i have no body not for cding all my famley died off but all this time of being what they wonted it is hard to be me i can dress oney time i wont idont care but i dont seam like wen i can i dont wont to i under dress all the time but all the time not much lost all my things oney way as for as the beer i like it to no it likes me more has for 40 yrs but you are un happy just all of us an maby lonley as me an a lot of us no body to talk to to open up to that cares

[LACD]

I find I am more out spoken on some things as I feel that I am at an age that I can say what I want to say. I am a little more tolerant of a lot of things that I used to not be, but stupidity is still a hot button for me. I just can't see with all the information systems we have that people still don't know things about the country we live in or the world we are a part of. My Dear Wife and I lived the first part of our married lives for our children and now we feel it is our turn. We love the grandkids but we want to live our lives too. My sons don't know about my CD'ing and I will keep it that way. Otherwise, we'll roll on down the road.

[jillleanne]

Indeed, coupled with the need to leave the closet forever. Happened to me so I suspect it will happen to others as I'm certainly not special or more deserving than the next person..

[Nikki A.]

As we face our mortality we tend to be truthful with ourselves and not care what others think. The other thing is that when were younger we had career and family responsibilities that were more pressing. We also didn't have the benefit of the internet and this forum.
You younger CDs have a head start and maybe society will be more accepting of what we do and how we feel.

[Julogden]

I know exactly what you're talking about Sonna.

[Cheryl T]

It's not just you. I've felt the same way for the last 5 years.
I'm at the point where I don't care what the neighbors think or if people notice me in public (though I do my best to blend in). I'm only cautious around the family as they don't know and my wife would prefer it that way, so for her sake I keep it under wraps from them and close friends.

[suzy1]

There comes a point when beeing in the closet gets to much to bear. At this point is when most people come out. Some still hide in misery, but I was one who couldn't take it any longer, about 3 years ago

Some of us are not miserable in our closet, some of us are very happy and totally fulfilled in our closet.
Thought I would just comment on behalf of us lot that get a bad press here sometimes for being who we are.:)

[Marie-Elise]

Like everything else, I think there has to be balance. There is another active thread by someone who wants to get breast implants and then mow the lawn topless in drab.

Well, I think you have to think in terms of the internal (self) and the external (others around you). The happiness of the self is related to the happiness of the others around you. If you create a situation where the others around you feel uncomfortable, then you will also feel uncomfortable. That is, unless you are a sociopath and cannot empathize with anyone but yourself.

If you are a sociopath, then do what you want because you do expect anyone's companionship in any way.

However, for the rest of us, we want to balance what makes us happy with what makes those around us happy. That means submerging some of our desires for the larger happiness.

I can't say I don't care what the neighbors think; I have to care because I am part of a community. However, I try to balance that with what makes me happy. Some of my neighbors might not like it and may even shun me if I talk a walk around the block en femme...but I want to do it. But I don't want to be ostracized and left alone...so I don't do it. I like going to their houses for dinner and having them over.

But nothing prevents me from driving an hour or two away and having an entire weekend en femme with my wife...except her willingness to do that.

So, I am out to my wife but can;t step out of the house en femme except on my deck and back yard. I'll deal with it until I decide that I don't want to deal with it. Then, I'll have to figure out the next step. Balance.

[Foxglove]

It's hard for me to answer this, Sonna. In some respects, I've always gone my own way. A friend of mine once told me, "You're the most independent person I've ever known."

On the other hand, I've always been extremely sensitive in ways. I worry about what others think of me. But I think that I'm less sensitive now than I used to be. Maybe not. Maybe you'd have to ask people who know me. But I do know that as time goes on I'm beginning to care less about what people think about CDing. I'm beginning to do some things my way in that regard, and I suspect that's a trend that's going to continue. You get impatient with repression.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[sissystephanie]

I have to agree with the OP. I was in the closet when I was a little lad/girl, but that was 70 years ago. Yes, I am that old! For many years I had followed normal policy, and was either completely drab or completely enfemme. But when my wife passed away and was no longer available to do my makeup and fix my wig, I decided to h*** with it. I go out now dressed completely enfemme, but with no wig or makeup. In other words, I am a guy in ladies clothing. I just don't care! The amazing thing is that in 7 years of doing that I still have not heard one single negative comment. I have been asked many times where I bought the outfit I was wearing, by both men and women! But no one has ever made any negative remarks. As long as you are dressed decently, people really don't care!! So. be yourself anf be happy!!

[KellyJameson]

I have always been very possessive of my life, I am open to learning from others but I do not want to be told what to believe. I am open to sharing what I have but I do not want it to be expected. My body belongs to me and my mind must always be honored with the truth and I have always been labelled as selfish because of this. People throw around the word selfish as an attack to manipulate with guilt.

[sonna]

you girls are amazing i love reading you posts.....they always help me feel better:D

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

The older I get the more i am willing to give in to my desires. that tends to get me in trouble but what the heck you only live once.

[Erin Lorelei]

I completely agree with Sandra Michelle. The more I age (and I'm still young yet ;P ), the more I find I give in to what I want to do. although, for my girlfriends sake, I do still have some reserve.:)

[SarahLynn]

Is it just me, ....

Yes it's just you. Can't be me cuz i'm here and you are there. If you were here then i'd be there and it'd be just me and not you. So to answer your question: Yes Sonna it is just you.

Jokes intended

SarahLynn

[sonna]

Yes it's just you. Can't be me cuz i'm here and you are there. If you were here then i'd be there and it'd be just me and not you. So to answer your question: Yes Sonna it is just you.

Jokes intended

SarahLynn


good answere.................

[shawnsheila]

I agree,
at this point in my life (and i'm almost 35) I don't care how others judge me for my cross dressing (I came to grips with that a few years ago and have embraced it) I would love to scream to the world that I love wearing the clothes I do but I am holding back all of that for my wife's sake because she is still very uncomfortable with me cross dressing and afraid of the social repercussions of friends and family finding out. If not for respecting my wife's wishes, I would totally not care who knows or what they think, just as long as I am happy :) (this is no jab at my wife, she and I are partners for life and I know I must move at her pace with this)

[Terri Andrews]

I could not find the right words to respond ,but after reading Shawnsheila`s post I can say that is exacaly how I feel, except I am 67 .

[vikki2020]

I still care about what family and friends would think, but, as I get older, I may be less worried about it. I am still discreet, but, not really concerned if and when I am found out, or tell everyone.