Helpless!

[newbee1991]

As you can most likely tell from the title I am here seeking help and guidance. I am about to throw out a list of problems I am having and any advice or maybe similar experiences and how you coped or are coping with them would be greatly appreciated. I want to apologize in advance to anyone that thinks this is a bit whiny, but I am only here because I have no where else to turn.

Well here is the list:
I want to dress more, but I just don't have the time or place.
I really want to learn how to do make up, but I don't want to cause suspicion.
I need a friend to help me through this, but I can't seem to bring myself to tell anyone.
I have to buy clothes, but it is just a bit to weird for me at the store.
I am going to need a wig, but I have no idea where to look.
I want to become more active in this forum, but I am a bit shy.
I need to get accessories and supplies, but I have no place to keep them.
I want to be as beautiful as I can be, but I just don't know how.
I want to go out and have fun, laugh, and dance all dressed up, but I don't know how to dress.
I have way to many but's (not butt's I'm actually a bit thin), but have no idea how to get rid of them.

[Jenniferathome]

Newbee, when starting a race, I never think about the hundredth mile, I concentrate on the 25 feet in front of me. If you really have no time or place to dress, all the other "buts" are irrelevant. So start there. You can join a local CD organization and mostif not all, provide some changing facilities. Everything you need is on the web. Get a PO Box and only you will have access. You will become less shy by participating in the forum. Keep posting, ask questions, but there is no answer for some of your basic issues. You have to make that happen. Good luck

[Laura912]

Deep breath...hold it...let it out slowly. Chose the first thing on your list that you would like to do. Start small. When you have access to the Beauty club on this forum, go there as a start. I hope this will give people a few chuckles but when I was in your place, I figured out how to make a bikini out of four handkerchiefs. This was obviously way before the Internet. There is a lot of help here. Enjoy the journey.
Laura

[Barbara Ella]

Hey Newbie. Welcome to the feeling of helplessness. Guess what? It will pass, and you will achieve many of your desires. Will you achieve them all tomorrow? Heck no. Should you have these goals. Heck yes. Should you feel bad about not getting all of them right now. Heck no. Should you keep talking to the girls on this forum about your desires? Heck yes.

what the heck......

Seriously, these are all normal expectations and desires when you realize that you are meant to wear female clothing. you need to define your situation, and plan out what it is that you can do. Can you order things over the internet and have them delivered? If so, buy some panties and wear them under your male clothes for awhile. If you cant have them delivered, you need to begin planning how to buy them at Walmart.

Take little steps, and eventually they will add up to a big one. Dont get too upset that you cant do many of these. Eventually you will figure it out.

As for friends. You have a great supply of friends right here. No reason to be shy, just say hello. Visit profile pages and leave short messages if you like their hair or eyes, or legs. Just be kind to the girls and they will accept and help you out when you need to talk. Start little, end big. i started with baby steps and just wearing panties, and thought that was the most fantastic thing i could imagine. Just bought 4 dresses and a cute skirt today, and the feeling is very much the same.

Your time is coming faster than you think, do not give up hope

Babes

[~Joanne~]

I have to buy clothes, but it is just a bit to weird for me at the store.
NOT IF YOU HAVE A DISABLED GIRLFRIEND AND A LIST..

Shouldn't this read "able Girlfriend"? lol

[Jorja]

Shouldn't this read "able Girlfriend"? lol

No not at all! A disabled girlfriend, it is hard for her to get around the shops. She needs you to go buy the things for her.;)

[STACY B]

GOOD LUCK !!! Welcome to the CLUB . Same for all of us ,, Just have alot of money an alot of time ,, An GOOD LUCK !!

[12Andy777]

You sound exactly like me! Honestly you are going through nothing that I am not going through, and I have the same goals. We just have to wait it out and take it step by step. I want it all to come to me now but I know that's impossible. Start small!

[docrobbysherry]

No. 1. If u want to dress BAD ENUFF, you'll find the time! Sleep is over rated! When I want to dress, I can't sleep anyway!:doh:


As you can most likely tell from the title I am here seeking help and guidance. I am about to throw out a list of problems I am having and any advice or maybe similar experiences and how you coped or are coping with them would be greatly appreciated. I want to apologize in advance to anyone that thinks this is a bit whiny, but I am only here because I have no where else to turn.

Well here is the list:
I want to dress more, but I just don't have the time or place.
I really want to learn how to do make up, but I don't want to cause suspicion.
I need a friend to help me through this, but I can't seem to bring myself to tell anyone.
I have to buy clothes, but it is just a bit to weird for me at the store.
I am going to need a wig, but I have no idea where to look.
I want to become more active in this forum, but I am a bit shy.
I need to get accessories and supplies, but I have no place to keep them.
I want to be as beautiful as I can be, but I just don't know how.
I want to go out and have fun, laugh, and dance all dressed up, but I don't know how to dress.
I have way to many but's (not butt's I'm actually a bit thin), but have no idea how to get rid of them.
No. 2 After 15 years of dressing, you're probably better at it than I! Because I wear masks!:heehee:

No. 3&4 I buy most things online. Including wigs! From China, they cost about $25 including shipping!:D

No. 5 Ta da! You're cured!:)

No. 6 You're ON YOUR OWN KID!:brolleyes:

No. 7 See answer to No. 2 above!:straightface:

No. 8 Go meet other CDs! I wanted to meet others and go out and have fun. But, we don't have many out CDs or friendly venues where I live so I attended some SCC's in Atlanta and a DLV! WHAT A BLAST! DO IT!:devil:

No. 9 See answer to No. 6 above!:battingeyelashes:

Here's how it works: When u WANT SOMETHING BAD ENUFF, you'll MAKE IT HAPPEN!:thumbsup:

[taís]

I like lists. ^ ^

- I want to dress more, but I just don't have the time or place
get your place. work hard to it. really! set as main objective if possible. (and in the meantime do a search for "underdressing" here on the forum.)

- I really want to learn how to do make up, but I don't want to cause suspicion
look for tutorials on youtube and practice. important: buy makeup removal wipes. and don't try using eyeliner if you're not safe (it's the worst to take off).

- I need a friend to help me through this, but I can't seem to bring myself to tell anyone
you'll get a lot of help from this forum. and maybe you can find someone here who lives in your area?
(a therapist is not a friend, but can surely help you through this (in a much wider sense).)

- I have to buy clothes, but it is just a bit to weird for me at the store
it isn't, those are the ghosts in your head trying to make you ashamed! first time may be a little weird, ok; but the second time is easier, and after the third you won't even be sweating anymore lol.
also online shopping, of course. (get a po box if needed.)

- I am going to need a wig, but I have no idea where to look
no costume stores around? you can get a wig there.

- I want to become more active in this forum, but I am a bit shy
I'm shy too, and to make things worst English isn't even my first language! but look at me making my 100th post \o/
just be careful and go with your heart open.

- I need to get accessories and supplies, but I have no place to keep them
see nº 1. also, really? absolutely none? again, you can search the forum and you'll find some specific suggestions.

- I want to be as beautiful as I can be, but I just don't know how
practice, research and ask away. (and don't forget to love, respect and take care of yourself.)

- I want to go out and have fun, laugh, and dance all dressed up, but I don't know how to dress
more practice, research and asking questions.

- I have way to many but's but have no idea how to get rid of them
you're getting a lot of ideas from the answers on the thread. so c'mon, let's see some action there! :D
and keep us posted about your progress.
good luck!
;***

[Stephenie S]

I agree with those who said start small. Pick one thing and concentrate on that.

Also it is far easier for us to help you with one issue at a time rather than a whole long list.

Almost everyone on this forum has gone through most, if not all of your problems. You are not alone.

Pick one thing you want help with and bring that back to the forum. Spend a few hours examining the past threads and post here. There is a VAST library of information already here.

Stephie

[Karren H]

I would have loved for someone to give me everything I ever wanted when I got back into dressing too!! But that didn't happen!! So question... Why can't you dress where you currently live?

[Diana Bain]

after you get 10 posts, pm me I'll be glad to help

[Ressie]

Do you live at home with your parents? It's not a fast process for most of us. You have the desire but just need the skill and knowledge to make it all happen. I got a couple of wigs from halloween shops. Go to clothing stores during hours when there aren't many other shoppers and buy with confidence. Just concentrate on the clothes you'll buy, and don't look at other people around you.

[Jacqueline Winona]

Dee, take your time, you'll get where you want to be, but be patient. You have your list, now just take one at a time and really think about how you can make it happen. You can do it, it sounds like your home enviroment will be a hindrance but just be crative- dress when you travel if you have no other options, don't get too much stuff if you can't store it, and get some headphones so you can watch and listen to youtube videos in private. Look for a CD support group where you live for some one on one support. And read, read, read the posts here for everything else.

[JessHaust]

Read Scarlet's post and take it to heart. I was where you are this time last year, and now i spend several nights a month out, en femme with friends. Everything Scarlet said was what worked for me. I'll add one thing to the list- meetup.com. Search for the nearest big city and tansgender. You should easily find a group of people doing the things that you want to do who will welcome you to join in. This forum is great, but nothing beats real face to face people.

[little_girl_blue]

I'm in the exact same boat as you. I live at home with my parents so the only times I can do anything is after they've went to bed. The first thing I did was figure out how to tuck and tape from there I got a few pairs of underwear and some leggings, I actually drove 40 minutes to go to another towns mall to make sure I wouldn't see anyone I knew. Now, I'm sitting here waxing my legs and earlier shaved my armpits and ya know down there. I want to say something to my female friends but I don't know how they would react. Its like everyone else is saying you have to take it a step at a time. Like Qui Gon Jin says you can look to the future but only if it doesn't take your mind away from the here and now. It can all be daunting but it'll get easier, i can say it already is for me even if its just a little everyday.

[Ressie]

Dee, take your time, you'll get where you want to be, but be patient. You have your list, now just take one at a time and really think about how you can make it happen. You can do it, it sounds like your home enviroment will be a hindrance but just be crative- dress when you travel if you have no other options, don't get too much stuff if you can't store it, and get some headphones so you can watch and listen to youtube videos in private. Look for a CD support group where you live for some one on one support. And read, read, read the posts here for everything else.

Thanks Janice, but after a few decades I'm now free to dress at home whenever I feel the urge. Hopefully, Newbee will have that freedom much sooner. :)

[Krististeph]

As you can most likely tell from the title I am here seeking help and guidance. I am about to throw out a list of problems I am having and any advice or maybe similar experiences and how you coped or are coping with them would be greatly appreciated. I want to apologize in advance to anyone that thinks this is a bit whiny, but I am only here because I have no where else to turn.

Well here is the list:
I want to dress more, but I just don't have the time or place.
I really want to learn how to do make up, but I don't want to cause suspicion.
I need a friend to help me through this, but I can't seem to bring myself to tell anyone.
I have to buy clothes, but it is just a bit to weird for me at the store.
I am going to need a wig, but I have no idea where to look.
I want to become more active in this forum, but I am a bit shy.
I need to get accessories and supplies, but I have no place to keep them.
I want to be as beautiful as I can be, but I just don't know how.
I want to go out and have fun, laugh, and dance all dressed up, but I don't know how to dress.
I have way to many but's (not butt's I'm actually a bit thin), but have no idea how to get rid of them.

good list. You have a lot going on. But you have to slow down now- take things one at a time. Start at #1. Why do you not have the place or the time? What you need to do is to look at things a little differently. You CANNOT change the world, but i do have good news for you: The world cares lees how you dress than you think. I understand you may have some serious considerations about why you THINK you can't dress, but you need to first communicate.

In Aviation, if a pilot is in trouble- they need to do these things: Climb, Communicate, Confess, Comply. Climb is just to get more radio range, YOU have this network now Good. 25% done.
Communicate: your message has done this. 50% done. Confess- (no not the Spanish inquisition (which no one suspects)): tell us why you do not have the time or place.

Finally, comply- you need to take steps even if they are baby steps. this will get you moving in the right direction.

Go for it- you are the pilot and navigator of your own life. Even if the ride is rough or the scenery is not as good as you hoped, you have to start taking control to some degree.

To encourage you... NO ONE HAS EVER REGRETTED becoming more outspoken about their crossdressing, with the exception of a few of those who have hidden it from their wives for years. As we progress into the 21st century, CD is becoming more and more understood and commonplace as the years go by.

What ever you do- keep talking about it- if not here, than somewhere or to someone! This is crucial!

-kristi