I came out to a friend for the first time

[Sarah Jayne]

Many years ago an old school friend of mine told me he would tell me something when he was drunk enough, he got drunk and told me he was gay, it was not really a secret, we all knew. I held back my secret then, but talked to him tonight for the first time that I also use the name Sarah Jayne. I too was drunk enough.

I do not know if it was because I was talking to someone who was part of the LGBT community, whether it was just him 'because' or what. Regardless I told someone in my life that I am TG and I did not get rejected. I have begun to see a psychiatrist that specializes in transgenderism and its many flavours and I am OK with that, the pressure valve was opened for the first time in my life.

I have posted in the transsexual forum for the first time as I feel I belong here more than than the crossdressing forum and now I am scared.

Where does it go to from here?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

What's done is done.. you are doing the right thing by seeing a specialist with real experience around crossdressers and transsexuals..

From a crossdressing perspective, tell whoever you want for whatever reason...its a personal choice.....many people will respond "why are you telling me?"

if you are ts, or you are questioning, its a more risky life situation..questioning your gender and transition are really hard compared to dressing
you can create alot of additional pressure and issues for yourself by blabbing it around..especially when drunk...
think through why you told him (outside of you had to tell somebody!!!..which is a really good reason), and think past why you told him...what good do you get out of it?? how can he help you?(he probably can't), and how can he hurt you??(its hard to keep a secret like this..we are a rare breed)..

if you get more good than bad then go for it...but from experience with lots of transitions, its not something that "shares well" until you are ready to express yourself with a ton of self knowledge and self confidence about your life..

You are doing well to see the doctor.. that's the best outlet for pressure in the short term...when you talk don't try to convince him or yourself of anything..just be honest and try to be open to getting as much infomation as you can...
if you can meet other people that crossdress or transition that's a huge plus..you may be able to meet some through your doctor

[Julia_in_Pa]

Sarah,

If you really feel your TS then you are doing the right thing by seeking therapy.
This is all you need at the moment.
Allow therapy to open doors for you concerning self exploration.
It's perfectly normal to be scared Sarah.
The good thing is that your meeting it head on.
It's good that your here amongst us.


Julia

[Katesback]

One of the most difficult challenges and trans person has to learn ( and some probably never do) is to keep thier mouth shut. At some point you just want to tell people. Later on you hopefully become wise and relize that people dont want to hear about your crap. More importantly if you really are a woman you get to a point where you realize that telling anyone is a bad thing!

Truthfully if you feel compelled to talk to other people about your trans stuff you would be best served talking to other trans people and NOT talking to non trans people. As stated they dont want to hear it and surely they dont understand it.

Katie

[Inna]

Sounds like you've just taken first baby steps to embrace who you truly are even though you may not know exactly who that person truly is yet! Congrats!!!
Open up and share this with anyone you are compelled to, it is a way to release the pressure of emotions of guilt and sorrow which often surround transgender condition. However, be prepared for rejection, such often occurs and it is a barometer of the persons heart you are sharing this news with and not your own burden. "Truth will save us all" it's often quoted, what follows though, which is rarely said, is pain we must endure as a price of this truth. There is no true birth without one!

Love, Inna

[Melissa Jill]

Congratulations! Its always less scary than you imagine isn't it.
I reckon you came out to him because he is gay. Take me for example;
I usually have a hard time opening up to people and a few months ago I moved out of my parents place and moved in to share a house with some guy who I had never met before. He was gay and within a week of living with him I felt completely safe to tell him I was a crossdresser and we had a bit of alcohol and we had a really good talk and I revealed the full extent of my transgenderism.
Its probably not true for all of us, but in general the LGBT community go through the same hardships and know what its like to come out, they sort of understand.
I regularly talk to my gay housemate about my transgender stuff and hes just brilliant to talk to. He can relate to things such as me telling my parents Im transgender, because although its not really on the same scale, the fact that he did his coming out 10 years ago sort of makes up for that.
Im rambeling, but yea now hes moving out and Im trying to find someone to replace him. Either a woman or a gay guy.

[Jessinthesprings]

take it one day at a time. When you are ready you will do what's nessicary, and only you will know when that time has come.