Cristi
02-17-2012, 05:24 PM
Sometimes I don't make any progress (or even go backwards!) with my dressing. Either I don't get out for long periods, or I lose any confidence I had and can't make myself go out in public. I've wondered a lot if I'd reached my final plateau as far as dressing goes.
But today I took a look at what I was doing and realized that once again I've taken a step forward.
For background, I've been going out in public very sporadically for a decade now. Sometimes monthly, sometimes only once or twice a year (though I dress at home constantly). When I went out, it was just for the sake of going it. I'd have to find something 'special' to do like go shopping or walking down a street. Last week, I was dressed and out in public for the entire weekend, from Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon including checking into (and out of) a hotel totally en femme.
Today, I went out again. and noticed two things. First, My preparation time has for some reason has been cut in more than half (if not by 2/3!) The makeup/shaving/hair styling work I used to set aside 2.5 hours for was done today in less than an hour, and I think I looked as good as I ever have.
This confidence triggered the second realization. I didn't need to 'do anything special' when going out today. I just got ready, put on my nice skirt suit, then headed out to do some errands. Sure, they were all in a town pretty far away, but they were legitimate tasks that I'd be doing as my male self even if I wasn't dressed.
The most fun one was driving to the town I was born in 1.5 hours away and getting a copy of my birth certificate at the town hall. The woman working in the town clerk's office (in a building shared with the police dept, so there were uniforms and police cars all over the place) did not treat me one bit differently as she got my personal information and date of birth then found the record for me.
The other interaction I had was in a Macy's. Not only did I not avoid people, I took some items to the woman working there to ask if she knew if they had the skirt suit I was holding in a different size that was not on the rack. She helped my look, chatting the entire time. When I decided to try on the size she had (though I was pretty sure it was too small) she directed me right to the women's fitting room without hesitation.
What I think it all comes down to is an increase in confidence. I've been out dozens of times now without a single bad experience and am starting to realize that I'm either being seen as female... or people just don't care and are treating me with respect anyway. Now I barely even think about how I'm dressed while out shopping (though I'd still be careful about where I go, so I don't get into any dangerous situations).
With this new level of confidence, I'll probably find myself going out much more often!
But today I took a look at what I was doing and realized that once again I've taken a step forward.
For background, I've been going out in public very sporadically for a decade now. Sometimes monthly, sometimes only once or twice a year (though I dress at home constantly). When I went out, it was just for the sake of going it. I'd have to find something 'special' to do like go shopping or walking down a street. Last week, I was dressed and out in public for the entire weekend, from Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon including checking into (and out of) a hotel totally en femme.
Today, I went out again. and noticed two things. First, My preparation time has for some reason has been cut in more than half (if not by 2/3!) The makeup/shaving/hair styling work I used to set aside 2.5 hours for was done today in less than an hour, and I think I looked as good as I ever have.
This confidence triggered the second realization. I didn't need to 'do anything special' when going out today. I just got ready, put on my nice skirt suit, then headed out to do some errands. Sure, they were all in a town pretty far away, but they were legitimate tasks that I'd be doing as my male self even if I wasn't dressed.
The most fun one was driving to the town I was born in 1.5 hours away and getting a copy of my birth certificate at the town hall. The woman working in the town clerk's office (in a building shared with the police dept, so there were uniforms and police cars all over the place) did not treat me one bit differently as she got my personal information and date of birth then found the record for me.
The other interaction I had was in a Macy's. Not only did I not avoid people, I took some items to the woman working there to ask if she knew if they had the skirt suit I was holding in a different size that was not on the rack. She helped my look, chatting the entire time. When I decided to try on the size she had (though I was pretty sure it was too small) she directed me right to the women's fitting room without hesitation.
What I think it all comes down to is an increase in confidence. I've been out dozens of times now without a single bad experience and am starting to realize that I'm either being seen as female... or people just don't care and are treating me with respect anyway. Now I barely even think about how I'm dressed while out shopping (though I'd still be careful about where I go, so I don't get into any dangerous situations).
With this new level of confidence, I'll probably find myself going out much more often!