My boyfriend wants to be the girlfriend.

[Mama]

My boyfriend and I are a good looking young couple. We are best friends and completely in love. We live in Brooklyn and are both open minded and traditional at the same time. Before I met my boy friend I intended to be a post modern libertine girl that would not be tied down. I hung out with queens mostly and used straight men for sex. But when I met Papa(boyfriend) I was saved from my path of the experimental art world and swept off my feet. Papa is gorgeous first of all, and not of the fem variety. He is a construction worker with a perfect masculine body and perfectly beautiful handsome face. He looks like brad Pitt would look like if he where a soldier in world war one. even hotter. I happen to look like a what every cross dresser probably wants to look like and there are times when Papa wants to look like me- I am Mama. Papa is very romantic and very into looking like and being traditionally manly. He pays for things, picks me up in his truck, makes sure I am satisfied sexually, plays video games, chews tobacco, drinks bear, fishes, loves guns but he also gets very excited when he wears girls panties. So we have explored further. It turns me on too. Sometimes we reverse roles :) We buy lingerie and I can tell that even though he makes sure I am satisfied first what excites him most in bed is being the girl. I bought him wigs for his birthday and in the middle of the day he could hardly eat his birthday cake. He wanted to get busy.

So here are my questions for you ladies...
A) will this progress to the point he will want to live as a woman?
( it's seems almost impossible because his family would freak, they are from queens, totally catholic and blue collar and he has a huge reaction if I even mention that he should shave his legs. He could never tuck that's for sure)

B) can you help me think of a good girl name? Something kind of unique but not like a hooker name tho.

C) are there any recommendations about things to say to him that will turn him on? I pretend like I am the guy sometimes and he is the girl.

And just any advice in general would be welcome.

[Aloha Jayne]

Hey mama,

Thanks for posting. You're gonna get lot's of responses to your questions. But let me address your first one. That is usually the biggest question in these situations, and everyone is different, so only he can answer that for sure. But usually, once the SO (significant other, ie: you) realizes that this is only a part of him, and he also enjoys being a man just as much (sounds like he does), then your relationship with him can really flourish. Especially if you're as open minded as you say you are.

Good luck.

[goodnhose]

Mama, sounds like a you have a wild ride with this one. As for him wanting to be a girl, can't say. I can tell you that in my situation I don't want to be a girl and I've been CD for 25 years. I enjoy the times when I dress up and it does bring on a heightened sense of being feminine But I like being a guy. How about Roxy for a name? Keep on exploring.
Seana

[NathalieX66]

Hi Mama,
You remind me of another couple from Brooklyn......notably Helen Boyd and Betty Crow ( not thair actual names) . Helen wrote about themselves in her first book My Husband Betty.

Your path is up to yout two to decide how far you need and want to go. Think of it all as a journey, not a destination.
Best of luck!

[STACY B]

Im going to reply cuz I cant hold my thoughts on this one an the answer is to him wanting to be a girl ? HELL NO ,, He just likes to have fun an do different things have fun an if you like it an he likes it be happy as hell that yall found each other an live an love each other forever just dont get no better than that .

[Sophie_C]

Mama, a number of crossdressers and even transgendered people go to the extreme opposite of what they are, acting as masculine as possible to prove to themselves and the world that they are not what they deep down inside know they are. That, in and of itself is sounding suspect. Other than that, there are many outcomes present, from just having this as a private "kink" between you two (even among other kinks), to him having SRS and living the rest of his life as a woman. Only time will tell. How did you two meet? A random blue-collar guy ending up with a girl surrounded by the experimental art scene and full-on queens, then exhibiting feminine behavior? Also suspect.

I swear to god, I know WAY too much about sexuality...

P.S. As for names, look for one that peers his age have, something that has a degree of individuality, but doesn't stand out too much. He'll stand out enough already, as he is.

[Jenniferathome]

Crossdressing will NEVER lead to transition. A transexual my be a crossdresser, but crossdressing is not a cause.

[Jacqueline Winona]

Mama, welcome to the board, and interesting questions! They are all hard to answer, as everyone is a little different about dressing. Your description of him doesn't sound like someone who will want to live as a woman full-time, though. As for names- try something that sound like his current name, google names for girls and you will find lots of info that people use to name their children, several of them are unique. If he is Irish (just a guess :)), look for Irish names. And turn-on's, it sounds like you've got a good idea already. :)

[mbmeen12]

Just go with it, I too admitted to my wife two weeks ago and our relationship has blossomed. I fully empathize more with my wife communicate better and when i shop with her, I actually help out in the dress department if you know what I mean? As far as name my wife and I did just that, GOGGLE when in doubt:)

P.S. Love will guide you, you got to be all in or not at all, i.e. resentment will build up in both of you...Ask you self do you love him? Ans: Y/N problem solving 101

[Barbara Ella]

Welcome aboard mama. You are getting good advice here. Again, you never know how far this will go, but it is not cross dressing that causes the desire to transition. you both just need to be honest in your discussions, and in your question answering. Do not hesitate or feel embarrassed about asking him these questions, they probably cross his mind to and he is struggling to figure out what he is doing, and where he is going.

You suspect the answers, just talk them through and you both will feel so much better.

Babes

[Aprilrain]

He is a construction worker with a perfect masculine body and perfectly beautiful handsome face. He looks like brad Pitt would look like if he where a soldier in world war one.

OK you describing your boyfriend got me hot! So have you seen "After The Fall"? Brad Pitt is a soldier in WWI yum!

[Mama]

So I feel like I Have family here. Thank for the replies. I am so happy to be here. And sorry that nigella had to edit my post some what. I will use discretion when writing.

I forgot to mention this about Papa too...

We met in the park a year and a half ago and we have spent every day together since. Our parents have met, we are thick as thieves and I can tell you endless stories of the sacrifices Papa has made for me. But I just want to mention that his cross dressing actually helped solidify or relationship. Papa is no bone head however masculine he seems to people. He is an NPR listening, environmentally friendly, animal loving, cultured lumber jack. And what made me realize this and that he was a feminist was that he was sophisticated enough to let this side of his sexuality be known to me so freely. I love that he cross dresses and honestly if we buy a farm house in upstate ny I hope that he will feel comfortable hanging out the whole time as the woman. If he wanted to do it everyday I would find away to support him, I just don't think he can build houses in heels.
thanks for all the advice, I know I'll have more questions and I hope I can help people too someday.

[Shari]

Welcome to the forum Mama.
It doesn't sound to me at all like Papa would ever want to live full time as a woman. I get the feeling he is just enjoying the ride and thrilled to have a partner like you that will allow him to live out his fantasies.
I too, would be elated at the prospect of having a woman like you to share with, as would the majority of folks on this site.
If you're having fun, then just enjoy. I know Papa is.

[kristinacd55]

First of all, welcome to the forum....oh and I have a good name for her. Angelina and you 2 can be Brangelina. :daydreaming:

[jillleanne]

1. No idea as to what or if any 'progress' will occur. No one knows, probably not even him. Only time will tell and that's assuming he has already told you everything which I doubt. Many hold back alot of what they are thinking/desiring at that age. His family in Queens nor the church have any say in the matter. Everyone can tuck, even a horse named 'Ed'.
2. I like Fettichinni Alfredo. It's an Italian thingy I have.
3. Ah, how about, " Take out your false teeth Mama, I want to suck on your gums!" or maybe, " Quit the grinning and drop the linen baby!!!"

[ThiHi]

He sounds like an integrated, loving person, as do you. How lovely you found each other. Support, encouragement, open discussion is the way. And no, construction in heels isn't good, get some cute boots. ;-)
Our paths are all different, but we know you love each other. That and your openness and acceptance will hold you both in good stead. Congrats.

[Leyna]

1) It sounds to me like he's just into a little role playing, so I wouldn't worry too much. OTOH, if it did become more, would it matter to you?

2) I got my name from a Billy Joel song. What kind of music does he like? Maybe steal one from a line of his favorite song. (Unless it's Sussudio. You are hereby forbidden from using that name, as I will end up with that awful song stuck in my head every time we talk.)

3) What has always been effective for me is when my wife says something like, "You wanna?" IOW, it really doesn't take much. lolz

[ChubbyLeahCD]

Make sure that he wants the full role reversal. I for one just want my wife to be her and me to be Leah.
Pick a name that rhymes with his male name or a name he likes or just pick one with sex appeal lol