Telling people you like to dress

[Naomi Rayne]

I am in the process of possibly telling another friend that i dress and i started to think there are really many different ways to go about this.

How have you gone about telling people you dress?

[STACY B]

My wifes makes me do it ,, Im a sissy, I got a hormone inbalance I look like a woman and no one will leave me alone so thats why. Womans clothes just fit be better ,, Well I have to wear makeup or ill just look stupid ,, I have KLINFELDERS an my body tells itself im female. Someone gave me a bunch of womans clothes an I didnt want them to go to waste, I wear high heels cuz I have a bad back so I wear the rest of the outfits so I will blend in , Everybody always said I looked like a girl anyway, Been takeing some acting classes an almost have it down ,, Dont ya think so , Im a private dick in my off time ,, Pretty dam good diquise ,, Hell its almost HALLOWEEN ,, DUH,, Lost a bet an have to do this crap for a year ,, Sucks HUH,, Hidding from the LAW ,, Should I go on ???

[Naomi Rayne]

haha i was looking more along the lines of actual ways, not excuses or fun things, but with that said. That was so funny i was almost crying. People would be like huh? lol

[Barbara Ella]

The only person I would dare tell is my wife, so this is not one I can answer, but had to post in response to Stacy, so funny, and so thorough. Hmmmm wonder why she has spent so much time on them?...lol

Babes

[Karren H]

I've always taken the direct route... "I like to crossdress"...... Then get ready to answer questions... Coming up with "lines" might seem kind of disingenuous.. ( I say that because I really like to say "disingenuous". Lol. ).

"I hear Eddie izzard is coming to town..... Speaking of crossdressing...". :)

[kimdl93]

I find that when I walk up to a person dressed in a cute top, skirt, wig etc etc, it pretty well takes care of itself. Actually have done that with a couple of neighbors. Of course, there are other times when (not dressed) I took an equally direct route and said "I like to cross dress. So far, it hasn't been nearly as bad as you might imagine!

[Amanda22]

I've always taken the direct route... "I like to crossdress"...... Then get ready to answer questions...

I just say I cross dress. I think people prefer a direct statement.

[lightfoot]

I've always taken the direct route... "I like to crossdress"......

I agree. I think the best approach is to just be direct and make no big deal about it.

A similar experience was me coming out to a best friend about being bisexual. He's very straight, and I forgot how the conversation led down that path. We often go out to sample beers at local pubs. Was one of those nights, watching the game, playing dominoes, drinking beer, and talking about our kids. Somewhere along the conversation, I just casually said that I was bisexual and something about how I'm OK with it. His response was pretty casual. Said he wasn't but was fine with my orientation. Wasn't a big deal, and oddly enough, it felt good just to say it. Felt even better that no one cared.

Someday, I'm sure it'll happen, that the topic of cross dressing will come up. There's a good chance that I'll be just as candid. "Yeah, I use to cross dress. I think it's sexy." I'm sure it'll freak some people out, and I'm going to laugh.

[andrea35]

I have tried , I told one of my cousins I even dress so he could see me at first he took it well in fact complemented me
in how good I looked. but then he started avoiding me. so now I just don't tell anybody who is closed to me

[BRANDYJ]

I have always had a good idea on how well it would be received by those I have told. I sense how open minded and non-judgmental they are in general. In some cases something gender related started a conversation where I felt it was time and would be well received. But the most important thing to me is to know the person well...I mean really well. I have told 2 past wives, 2 male friends, and about 8 GG friends with what turned out to be my expected results. There are any number of suttle ways to feel them out and get a good idea how they might accept it. Then sutlle ways to turn the conversation directly to crossdressing if all the above is met.

The only mistake I ever made was with one brother. because of that mistake, I have not talked to him for over 4 years. He is blinded by his over the top religious views and brainwashing. He is very closed minded about anything out of the norm. Just be careful of who you tell.

[JessHaust]

I've always taken the direct route... "I like to crossdress"...... Then get ready to answer questions... :)

Yep, Honesty is always the best policy, tell the straight out, then give them time to process it. It they come back with questions, it's a good sign.

[washington cd]

Pretty much the same boat as other girls for me. I'm direct when I tell them, but I generally only tell close female friends I feel comfortable with and feel I can trust. And when I do tell them I come right out and say "I like to wear women's clothes and dress up like a girl" Most of the time it goes over real well and rarely have told someone and had a negative reaction.

[Leana]

It's much easier to tell GG friends than male ones. Tell your girlfriends and let them tell their boyfriends/husbands.

[Miranda G]

Get drunk on real ale and then slur it out to them whilst walking together to the taxi rank. Not very scientific but worked for me:-)

[Laura912]

If you really what that person to know, just be straight forward about it. After all, that is what you want in return. Be aware that it is unlikely to end with your friend. BTW, I did not know engineers even knew what "disingenuous" was. :)
Laura

[Katesback]

I generally dont comment on the CD section but this one I wanted to. I have to ask you a quesiton. Do you intend to present as a woman to the people your thinking of telling? This is a very big question and you need to think about it!

The reason the question is so important is that there is no reason to tell someone this if they are never going to see you dressed. As a matter of fact its really a bad idea. Your a man and to these people that do not know thats what they expect. If you tell them you cannot retract your words. You are likely to dramatically change the dynamics of the relatioship you have with them. More often than not the change is for the worse.

Now if your going to dress and present to them thats fine but take note telling someone your CD and actually presenting to them as a woman are two totally different animals and so even if someone is supportive when you tell them it is no real tell as to what they will be like if they see you as a girl.

I am guessing this post is more based upon a fantasy than reality but if you really are serious then you better think about what your doing. I hope you understand.

Katie

[Slyman81]

I'm not much of a dresser but i do admire it very much, i wear my girls clothes but i can't get enough guts to tell her

[Gaby2]

Hi Lola!
I confided in about 15 to 20 people about a year-and-a-half to a year ago.
It was very important for me to experience their (mostly neutral) reactions.
For the time being, I don't mind keeping my "secret" to myself because I feel enough people know enough.
I'm taking my time... at last... at long, long last.
Nice posts on your thread!
:rose2:Gaby

[Naomi Rayne]

I have told some people already. I told people that were very very good friends who i felt out were open minded and mature enough to handle it and it went over very well. They happened to all be GG's. So its not as if im totally inexperienced to this. I used a direct route with everyone i told. Recently a male friend has started staying at my house kinda often because we happen to be working on a project of some kind together and it requires some late nights. He is really close and i feel like i should tell him in case he happens upon any of my stuff or in case i wanna be comfortable in my own house. Not the i wanna dress kinda ordeal just if i need to take off my socks and i have painted toes and hose kinda ordeal going on he wont be like what the hell. So thats why i was wondering in what other ways people have told others. So far the direct route has worked for me which then ends up being followed by questions. I never plan on presenting myself completely fem in front of him because thats not really in our boundaries lol. I dress more for me, not others.

[Miriam-J]

I generally dont comment on the CD section but this one I wanted to. I have to ask you a quesiton. Do you intend to present as a woman to the people your thinking of telling? This is a very big question and you need to think about it!

The reason the question is so important is that there is no reason to tell someone this if they are never going to see you dressed. As a matter of fact its really a bad idea. Your a man and to these people that do not know thats what they expect. If you tell them you cannot retract your words. You are likely to dramatically change the dynamics of the relatioship you have with them. More often than not the change is for the worse.

Now if your going to dress and present to them thats fine but take note telling someone your CD and actually presenting to them as a woman are two totally different animals and so even if someone is supportive when you tell them it is no real tell as to what they will be like if they see you as a girl.

I am guessing this post is more based upon a fantasy than reality but if you really are serious then you better think about what your doing. I hope you understand.

I think Katie pegged this one. In addition, you need to first consider how your friend generally regards diverse individuals (gay, lesbian, crossdressers, and so on). If she often speaks harshly of them, forget it. If she's openly supportive, go for it. If you've never heard her speak of it, you might start by discussing such people in the third person, with a special emphasis on the crossdressers, and gauge her response.

Good luck.

Miriam

[Jacqueline Winona]

I'm with Kate as well- you should tell your spouse or SO, just because this is a huge part of "you" and hiding it from an SO is just not a good idea, generally. But everyone else? It's honestly none of their business unless you want to live as a woman, full-time. But it is a personal decision and if you really think it's somnething you need to do, pick the most open-minded friends you have and ask for a neutral opinion about whether you should tell others.

[Marleena]

Good topic Lola! Only my wife and one GG friend of mine know. Since I don't dress 24/7 nobody else needs to know. My wife & I are on the same page about this. No sense gambling on my kids or my wifes kids and families accepting or understanding it. If they find out somehow then I'll deal with it.:)

[DianeDeBris]

BTW, I did not know engineers even knew what "disingenuous" was. :)
Laura

I suspected Laura was right about this and I was curious to test the theory, so I showed this word to several engineer friends and asked what they understood by it. Uniformly they pronounced it as "dis-engine-ous" and figured it referred to a vehicle whose power plant had been removed.

[KerryLynn]

For me most conversations about it start out with. Why are you wearing girls pants. I'll look them in the eyes and say, I've dressed like this since I was 6 years old. Most people nod and move onto other conversations :) One person is giving me a box of clothes from a conversation that started out with Are you wearing a bra. I told her that when I was younger it felt like I was being hugged, and now its still true its just more comfort. These were all used in the past two weeks :)
Oh and when you are seen wearing lacy socks and are asked about it lol. My response was "Really? All the things about me and its the socks that you catch?" Mind you I was in a pair of Rave cargo jeans with zippers that go up the fronts of both legs up to the top and the fact you could see I was in a bra with forms. My response was. "Out everything I'm wearing its the socks you notice" then we laughed. All this is while I was at work :)

[Jennifer Marie P.]

For me evertone knew that I liked to CD but the ones that didnt know I just told them straight out and dressed for them.

[STACY B]

My wifes makes me do it ,, Im a sissy, I got a hormone inbalance I look like a woman and no one will leave me alone so thats why. Womans clothes just fit be better ,, Well I have to wear makeup or ill just look stupid ,, I have KLINFELDERS an my body tells itself im female. Someone gave me a bunch of womans clothes an I didnt want them to go to waste, I wear high heels cuz I have a bad back so I wear the rest of the outfits so I will blend in , Everybody always said I looked like a girl anyway, Been takeing some acting classes an almost have it down ,, Dont ya think so , Im a private dick in my off time ,, Pretty dam good diquise ,, Hell its almost HALLOWEEN ,, DUH,, Lost a bet an have to do this crap for a year ,, Sucks HUH,, Hidding from the LAW ,, Should I go on ??? OH yea a couple more if ya dont mind ,,,,, Shaaaa Im trying to catch someone in the act !!! My wife wears my stuff !! But seriously realy I dont think you should say NOTHING let your wardrobe speak LOUDLY !!! ENOUGH SAID !!! If they dont get it ,,,, That what the internets for ,,, Or maybe the JERRY SPRINGER show

[Nikki A.]

Some people I have just told them that enjoy dressing in women's clothes. To some others I have just come out dressed, in most cases that kind of brings it out in the open. Then there are others that were told by my other friends (with my knowledge).

[Beverley Sims]

A friend of mine told me he was gay, he was surprised that I accepted it, six of his other friends treat him like he has the plague.
He does not know about me but he saw me dressed for a party some years ago.

[larry]

As I read JUST your first sentence I thought "Wow this girl has a lot of troubles" Then I read the whole post and realized your intent.
hehehe I think I liked it just reading the first part... hehehe


My wifes makes me do it ,, Im a sissy, I got a hormone inbalance I look like a woman and no one will leave me alone so thats why. Womans clothes just fit be better ,, Well I have to wear makeup or ill just look stupid ,, I have KLINFELDERS an my body tells itself im female. Someone gave me a bunch of womans clothes an I didnt want them to go to waste, I wear high heels cuz I have a bad back so I wear the rest of the outfits so I will blend in , Everybody always said I looked like a girl anyway, Been takeing some acting classes an almost have it down ,, Dont ya think so , Im a private dick in my off time ,, Pretty dam good diquise ,, Hell its almost HALLOWEEN ,, DUH,, Lost a bet an have to do this crap for a year ,, Sucks HUH,, Hidding from the LAW ,, Should I go on ???

[Naomi Rayne]

Some people I have just told them that enjoy dressing in women's clothes. To some others I have just come out dressed, in most cases that kind of brings it out in the open. Then there are others that were told by my other friends (with my knowledge).

How did the friends telling friends thing work? Did the people that were told ever come to you with questions?

[PretzelGirl]

How did the friends telling friends thing work? Did the people that were told ever come to you with questions?

I'm going to jump in here Lola as this is the first time I have seen this and I am playing catch up.

There are two ways that friends of friends know about me. One is that I don't tell anyone unless I allow them someone else to talk to. This prevents the situation where I am making someone keep my secret. My wife got to tell a friend. My daughter told her best friend. And so on.... None of those people have asked me anything and in some cases, I don't know the extra person.

The second way is pretty much the first, but amplified because my youngest daughter is the one involved. Everytime she had a new boyfriend (weekly), he knew. She went to visit her biological sister in another state (she is adopted) right after I told her. I started getting text messages asking for a link to Sue's Facebook. I told her straight up "You told them and want to show a picture, don't you?" Busted. :D And she told all her girlfriends. But out of all of her friends, I have either heard nothing, or some of the girlfriends will talk casually with me about clothes and the like.

I do disagree with some premises above that say more often than not the change in the relationship becomes worse. I haven't had one even tilt towards being worse. In my opinion, it is all about who you tell and how you do it. The decision to tell is obviously yours. If you feel you need to share, then certainly do. If there are negative consequences, then be ready. But also enjoy the positive outcomes. It is something to think about because it can't be undone. But I don't go for the blanket "don't tell anybody". Some of us feel quite comfortable sharing this side of us.

[Daphne Renee]

I havent really told anyone except my wife. If I were going to tell someone else I think it would be better to be straight forward and honest though. It would have to be someone I thought could accept it though.

[Nikki A.]

How did the friends telling friends thing work? Did the people that were told ever come to you with questions?

Well actually they haven't yet. I was invited to their house along with my friends to their house for New Years Eve. All of the people who were going all know I dress, but I wasn't sure if they knew. My friend (the one who knows them best) offered to bring it up if I wanted to go dressed. They said if everyone else was ok with it, so were they.
I ended up going to another party with my kids (in drab) but I did stop by their house for a bit on my way home from work (also in drab). Nothing was brought up then and soon after that they went down to Fla for the winter. I'm sure I'll have some questions to answer when they get back, and things are a little quieter.

[NathalieX66]

My folks are cool, they saw a few pics of of me, but they think I spend way too much time doing this s**t.

[KellyJameson]

For me it is important my friends understand my values so I try to anticipate what preconceived prejudices they may already have toward those who CD and or are TG. It is not them knowing that I crossdress that I fear but the reasons they may think I do it.

But this really is a non issue for me because the type of people I have for friends tend to not have a knee jerk reaction to people being individualistic. I recently told a friend who I may see once a year and lives in another country so we would never bump into each other and even though he has no desire to crossdress he wore a little black dress at BurningMan.

I do notice the straight guys almost always are quick to tell me they are not gay leaving me to believe that there is a powerful subconscious belief that I must be gay because I crossdress.

[Michaela51]

I dress in public to some degree or another every day, that is how I let people know, and I know that is certainly not going to work for everyone. But, I get no outright negativity while out there. So, I guess I'm for a straightforward, honest approach.

[Jessica86]

What's funny is that every time I have told someone, something else has "helped" me get it started. Usually it is a joke or something, and I build on it.

[Contessa]

I told mostly all my co-workers and most have seen me actually. There are only two that haven't as I dress at work on Friday's. I go home dressed so I have a little time after I finish my work. It is a lot of fun but I have told them before hand. I tell people because I want to be accepted and I can't if nobody knows. I told one co-worker who was half my age, I wrote if on a board. So he could read it. The first people I told were all women. My wife, mother, sister, wife's friend, therapist and Doctor. I am trying to have fun.